Her Existence
by Miriel-F
Summary: After being tortured and molested by Enishi, Kaoru was no longer the same. One night she made a wish, not expecting it to become reality, she found herself in the past, in a time of blood and conflicts, in a time where Kenshin was Battousai. 25.06.11 edit
1. Destiny

Author Note: Hello everyone. This is my first fic so please be gentle with me and reviews are highly welcomed XD

few things to say about this fic:

- It is a dark fic. so if you come looking for fluffy love between Kaoru and Kenshin then you are in the wrong place. However, if you are looking for angst, violence, blood and adult themes then look no further.

- It is semi- alternative universe fic. By that i mean it is basicly similar to the anime in terms of the characters pasts and stuff. But i changes few events to suit my story line.

Disclaimer. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

* * *

Chapter 1: Destiny

The pain was unbearable.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to forget the pain.

How long had it been since she was captive? Hours? Days?

She was dizzy from lack of food and blood loss.

She shifted against her restraints. Her wrists were numb.

Suddenly the door was opened, but she kept her eyes shut tight. She knew who it was.

Him

His steps echoed in the empty room as he advanced. He halted few paces away from her.

Still, she did not open her eyes.

She felt his hand caressing her cheek tenderly as if trying to comfort her.

She knew better.

"Look at me," he commanded. She did not comply. His hand moved to her jaw and tightened, forcing her mouth open. His mouth descended upon hers suddenly. The kiss was savage and she squeezed her eyes tight. However, no moisture escaped. Her tears had long since dried. She didn't desire to give him the pleasure of seeing her cry.

He broke the kiss and she opened her eyes only to see his malicious smirk. He leaned toward her one hand around her waist, his mouth brushed her ear.

"My revenge will be complete…soon," his whisper was triumphant. He took one step back.

She glanced down and noticed a small knife in his right hand. Her tired eyes met his amused ones again and stared at him defiantly although inside fear gripped her.

Then he raised the knife to the side of her neck.

All her time spent here, she tried her best not to show him the pain he was putting her through. Through all the torture she tried and tried hard to remain silent. However, as she felt the cold steel near her neck, as the sharp edge cut deeper into her soft skin...

She screamed.

* * *

Kaoru opened her eyes and jolted off her futon. Sweat drenched her sleeping yakata and her breaths were coming in fast shallow gasps.

Again.

She placed her hand at the side of her bandaged neck. Her eyes wide. She urged herself to calm down. Those nightmares had been haunting her for two months.

She was unable to forget him.

Kaoru sighed and stood up. After folding the futon and she went to change. Then she looked at herself on the mirror.

She had changed.

She had become thinner and her eyes which were always shining were empty now.

And if one looked closer one would see sadness and grieve.

* * *

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said as Kaoru passed through the kitchen door. "Good morning, Kenshin" she smiled at him. Kaoru took a cup to drink some water as Kenshin turned back to prepare breakfast.

"Did you have a good night, Kaoru-dono?" he asked looking at her again.

Kaoru nodded, "yes," she lied. In fact it was one of the worst nights she had since that time.

As if knowing the truth, Kenshin eyed her sharply for a second then smiled brightly at her "I'm glad to hear that, breakfast will be ready in a moment. Could you call Yahiko, please? He is up early today…training."

Kaoru nodded and went out of the kitchen. Relieved to be away from Kenshin.

Things were very different between them lately. It is almost as if they were strangers.

Kenshin was very careful with her, treating her extra kind. And sometimes she caught him staring at her. Different emotions played in his violet eyes. Pain, sadness, rage sometimes, but there was something more to it. Kaoru had yet to grasp an understanding of it.

She walked to the yard and saw Yahiko practising his moves, his back to her.

"Good morning, Yahiko," she greeted him. She saw him stop abruptly and then he turned slowly to face her.

"Ah, Kaoru," even Yahiko's attitude had changed toward her. He stopped teasing her and calling her ugly. Their regular quarrels had ceased. "Breakfast is ready," Kaoru said. He simply nodded and made his way to her.

He walked past her without uttering another word.

Nothing was going to be the same again. Never.

* * *

After breakfast Kenshin excused himself and said that he will go to the town before the sun was high in the sky. Kaoru busied herself with the regular chores. And in the afternoon she retreated to her room.

She sat with her legs folded under her and on her lab was a picture. She touched it gently and smiled sadly. It seemed like a lifetime since this picture was taken although it was less than a year ago. In the picture she was smiling brightly. A carefree smile. She almost did not recognize herself.

They were happy, all of them. Life was promising back then. She was the one trying to help Kenshin getting rid of the ghosts of his past whereas now, inside, she was screaming for help.

How ironic.

She remembered her mother telling her that Fate was everything. It can not be changed or cheated. And it had purpose for every event. What was the purpose of her suffering? Kaoru wondered bitterly. Did it make him feel better?

She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes.

"I won't cry," Kaoru whispered to herself. She was tired of crying. All she wanted was to forget, to be the strong, stubborn girl she used to be. She was trying hard but…

Her hand unconsciously went to her bandaged neck.

With this scar it was hard to forget, impossible to forget. It was a constant reminder of that awful night. Sometimes she could still feel the pain.

She kept it bandaged all the time even when she was sleeping. And she refused to show it to the world.

To her it was a sign of weakness.

She opened her eyes and placed the picture inside her diary. She had been keeping a diary since that time because she felt the need to express her emotions. She would never tell anyone what had happened to her during that time. They knew of course, Megumi treated her wounds immediately after they had found her. She knew the extent of her loss.

Despite her effort a single tear slid down Kaoru's cheek.

She had lost her innocence.

* * *

"Oi Jou-chan!" Sano greeted Kaoru as she walked to the yard.

Kaoru smiled. At least Sano was still the same toward her. "Hi Sano. Coming for launch as usual?"

He smiled sheepishly at her and scratched the back of his head. "Well it's only a coincidence that I am passing by the Dojo in lunch time"

Kenshin appeared at the door and Kaoru raised her eye brow at Sano.

"Another coincidence," he offered.

Kaoru shook her head smiling and walked to Kenshin to carry some of the stuff he bought.

"I will prepare lunch this time, Kenshin," Kaoru said as she took the bags from Kenshin.

"You don't have to, Kaoru-dono," he replied.

"It's ok I really have nothing to do," she shrugged.

She went to the kitchen and set to prepare the meal. Sano and Yahiko no longer complained about her food. They ate in silence most of the time and Kaoru wasn't sure if she was getting better at cooking or they didn't want to hurt her feelings. Either way she really missed their complaining.

Kenshin, Sano and Yahiko were sitting beside the low table when Kaoru entered the room holding the tray.

"Finally Jou-chan, 'am starving!"

"Good, I made plenty," Kaoru said as she placed the tray on the floor. Kenshin was seated in front of her. She started to distribute the meal between them one by one. As she leaned over to hand Kenshin his dish she felt a warm liquid running down her neck then drops of red liquid fell on her hand and into the dish.

"Kaoru…" Kenshin started. His eyes were wide with fear.

Kaoru dropped the dish and placed her hand on the left side of her neck. When she brought her hand down, her eyes widened. It was covered with blood.

"No…" that was all she said before she stormed out of the room.

"Yahiko, fetch Megumi now!" Kenshin said as he stood up.

Yahiko hurried out of the room.

Sano cursed loudly.

"This is bad."

Kenshin clenched his hands into tight balls, his eyes on the open door.

* * *

Sano was pacing the room length as they waited for Megumi. Kenshin was leaning against the wall his head bowed.

"Ah! What is taking her so long?" Sano asked impatiently just as Megumi stepped into the room. Kenshin raised his head.

Megumi was angry.

"The bleeding has stopped," she began, "but she refuses to talk, she won't even tell me if she is in pain or not. She is so stubborn."

Kenshin stood. "Thank you Megumi-dono, I will talk to her."

"Suit yourself, Ken-san, but I warn you she will make you lose your temper."

Kenshin nodded and made his way to Kaoru's room.

* * *

Outside Kaoru's room Kenshin halted. "Kaoru-dono may I come in?"

There was no reply. Kenshin sighed "I'm coming in."

He opened the shoji door slowly and saw Kaoru sitting in the middle of the almost dark room. Only few candles were lit.

Kenshin stepped in and closed the door behind him. He made his way to her and positioned himself against the wall where he could view her profile.

Her black hair fell to her back, her head was bowed and her hands were clutching her blood stained Kimono. She did not acknowledge him.

Kenshin leaned against the wall resting his hand on his sword.

"Do you know what day is today, Kaoru-dono?" he asked. Kaoru offered no answer and he didn't expect one. He continued "It is the day I killed Tomoe's fiancé." Kaoru blinked but did not look at him. But Kenshin was certain that he had her attention.

Kenshin looked at the floor. "He had fought desperately for his life because he had someone important to return to, but it hadn't been enough," his expression darkened, "he died at a young age, few years older than you perhaps," his hand went to his cheek, "he gave me the first line of this scar and I remember that it would not stop bleeding for a long time," he lowered his hand and looked at her, "someone told me that if the person's hatred was strong then the scar may never heal and Akira's hatred was strong, I saw it in his eyes..." he stopped for a second "so is Enishi's."

He saw her tense and slowly she raised her head. Her sad eyes met his.

"Sometimes I wonder Kaoru what would have happened if I didn't kill Tomoe's fiancé? I don't know for sure," he shook his head "but one thing I am confident about; Tomoe would still be alive and Enishi wouldn't have lived feeding on revenge. And you..." he paused, "and you would not have gone through all this pain."

Kaoru opened her mouth to speak but he raised his hand to stop her.

"I know that Enishi is the one who inflicted these scars on you but in reality I am responsible for them. If I haven't appeared in your life, if we haven't met in that alley…" Kenshin did not have the chance to finish his words, for Kaoru rushed to him, taking his hand in hers.

"Please Kenshin don't say that, don't put the blame on yourself!" she was crying, "I cannot stand the thought of living without you. I have only myself to blame for what had happened," she raised her hand and touched his scarred cheek tenderly, "I would never blame you Kenshin, I know you have tried hard to save me."

"But I was too late, I couldn't make it on time," his said bleakly, "and when I found you unconscious in your own blood, I couldn't stand to think what you have been through, what he has put you through…"

Kaoru placed one finger on his lips. "Don't blame yourself Kenshin. While I was there, only thinking of you kept me alive. You were the reason I kept struggling. I knew you would come and save me."

"Kaoru..." Kenshin stared at her bright blue eyes. Her hand was still on his cheek.

Kaoru closed her eyes and leaned closer to him.

Their faces were few inches away.

Kenshin placed his hand around her waist to pull her toward him and close the space between them. But just as his hand touched her waist Kaoru opened her eyes wide, images of Enishi tearing her clothes, kissing her brutally and touching her most private parts flashed before her open eyes.

"NO!" she screamed suddenly and pushed Kenshin away, stumbling as she took two steps backwards.

Kenshin stared at her in disbelief for few moments then his eyes soften at the sight of her.

She was shaking, arms wrapped around her shoulders and weeping softly. His heart was breaking; he knew what she had experienced at the hands of Enishi.

"I'm sorry Kenshin, I..." she whispered in a broken voice.

"Don't apologise, Kaoru," Kenshin said forlornly as he rose, "you need to rest," he looked sadly at her broken form for a moment then made his way to the door. He stopped few steps away from it, his back to her.

"You know Kaoru, in my life I have committed countless unforgivable deeds, I have killed hundreds of people and in doing so I have hurt other thousands. However, two of those deeds hunt me every second of everyday. Tomoe's death..." he turned his head to the side, "and your suffering at the at hands of Enishi."

He stepped out of the room.

* * *

The full moon was red.

Kaoru stared toward the sky. She was sitting on the porch, leaning against the wooden post.

She could not sleep. She had stayed in her room for a long time after Kenshin had left.

Kenshin

She was thinking of him. Up till now she thought that she was the only one suffering. She did not see the extent of the pain Kenshin was feeling.

He was feeling guilty for what happened. He was taking all the blame. What a fool she was for not noticing.

She was another burden added upon him.

Kaoru shivered and hugged her knees. Her thought traveled to Tomoe's fiancé. About eleven years ago, same day, he had been killed.

Kaoru watched the fireflies dancing around the bushes in the yard.

She wondered what would have happened if Kenshin did not kill him. Akira would have returned to Tomoe and Kenshin wouldn't have met her and killed her.

She wished that she could change this event. She wished she could cheat destiny and save him. More importantly she wished she could take away Kenshin's pain.

Kaoru rose to her feet, still staring at the fireflies.

"I wish to share his burden," with those words she made her way to her room.

If she had stayed few minuets longer she would have seen the fireflies cluster together, forming a spherical shape which was glowing crimson color.

Destiny is inextricable, they say. It operates in a strange way. Kaoru only desired to help Kenshin, to relieve him of some of his burdens. But, had she known what her words would lead her to, she would not have spoken them at all.

So much grieve followed that wish, so much blood, so many people died and so many tears were shed. But on that day under the crimson full moon it was but an innocent wish.

The wheels of destiny have started to turn.


	2. Beyond time

A/N:

- First of all I must thank all those who reviewed, your comments are highly appreciated.

- Special thanks to hotaru, your comments were very helpful and hopefully I have improved a little, plz tell me what you think and of course constructive criticism is strongly welcomed.

- In this chapter i have resolved to fantasy element, I must say that this fic does not fall under the fantasy category but I had to use it for a small aspect in this fic.

- Final note, Please people bear with my grammer! English isn't my first language and i will try my best to reduce those errors. having said this, on with the story.

* * *

Chapter 2: Beyond Time

_The noise was terrible._

_She shook her head violently trying to clear it, but the sound went on._

_She had never heard such a sound before. There was no way to describe it. Except that it was so sad._

_The noise was all around her, making hear head spin. She tried to cover her ears but for some reasons she could not move._

_Her eyes were closed._

_She felt as though she was falling fast from a high cliff. And around her she heard the noise of battle, the cries of dying men and the clash of swords._

_The strange sound kept going on, mingling with the voice of human conflicts. She felt as if she was in the heart of chaos and there was no way out_

_Then it was silent._

_She was not falling anymore, she was floating._

_The truth is nothing moved, nothing changed, nothing whatever appeared to happen and yet she experience a feeling of terror, as if she was being pulled inside out and being slammed against something that wasn't there._

_She opened her eyes and there was nothing but a bright void and…_

_A sense of non-belonging._

_Then darkness engulfed her._

* * *

Kaoru woke up feeling sick and dizzy, and as if these weren't bad enough, she had a terrible headache. Her body was sprawled on a hard wooden floor, not a futon as she expected.

Clutching her pounding head, she started to rise. Then she looked around examining her surroundings.

Immediately she sprang to her feet.

She was not in her room nor was this her dojo. _Where am I ?_

The last thing she remembered was deciding against sleeping after sitting on the porch watching the fireflies. So instead of retiring to her room she had gone to the dojo, practiced for a little while to ease her tension, then she settled there…thinking.

Had she fallen asleep in the dojo? Maybe she was still asleep…dreaming.

Yet everything felt so real.

She turned around examining the place in the faint light coming through the low windows. Dust covered the floor indicating that it hadn't been cleaned for a long time. Apart from the bokkens which lay in their racks against the wall the dojo was empty.

Kaoru made her way toward the door. Sliding the wooden door open, she stepped outside

The yard was empty, everything was silent and the full moon shone brightly in the dark sky.

It was a red full moon.

Fireflies were dancing in the yard. Everything was the same except that this was not her dojo.

Kaorus gaze traveled to the main house, no light, no voice, no sign of a living being. It must be a deserted dojo.

She walked slowly toward the main gate. She was not wearing her sandals; only thin pair of socks covered her feet. It is only a dream. She kept repeating this sentence to herself. But as she neared the gate and placed her shaking hand on its handle. The rough surface of the wood told her otherwise.

Closing her eyes, she hesitated before opening the gate.

Kaoru didnt know why; but she was afraid of what lied beyond this gate.

_Everything will be alright_, she told herself.

Kaoru took a deep breath and pushed the gate doors open.

* * *

The silence was suffocating.

Kaoru was walking in a town which was not Tokyo. The place seemed familiar somehow but she can't remember where and when she had seen it.

Cold wind was blowing, making Kaoru shiver in her light blue kimono. Wrapping her arms around herself against the bitter wind, she continued to walk in the strange town.

_What time is it?_ She wondered silently. It must be sometimes after midnight judging from the empty streets and dark houses.

She wished she would encounter anyone to tell her where she was.

The wind continued to blow lifting Kaoru's loose hair. She flickered her black hair away from her face.

Suddenly, there was a far-off noise which she identified as someone talking. She couldn't make out the words but the sound was loud enough, suggesting they were near.

She walked through a dark, short alley. Heading toward the noise.

Upon reaching the mouth of the alley; the distraught girl hid behind the wall and took in the scene before her.

Three men were walking, a young man and two elderly men.

"….will soon be your wife, you are a lucky man," she heard the eldest.

"Thank you, though I feel badly about it. Why should I be this happy while other people are miserable?" The younger man replied.

As they walked past the alley she was hiding in, Kaoru pressed herself against the wall.

The shadows concealed her.

She was able to catch a glimpse of the young man face. He had a kind face and his hair was dark .

"What are you talking about, Kiyosato? The world is always in a terrible condition. That shouldn't stop a man from being happy, should it?"

_Kiyosato?_ Kaoru had heard this name before but she couldn't remember by whom.

She was lost in her own thoughts when out of nowhere another figure appeared behind the three men.

"You are Jubei Shigekura of the Kyoto Shoshidai, are you not?" the new figure spoke.

Kaoru froze, a dreadful feeling settled in the bit of her stomach._ This voice_...a voice she could recognise anywhere. It belonged to….

The figure stepped out of the shadows into the moon light. His red hair shone under the silverly rays.

_Kenshin._

"I have come to inflict the punishment you deserve, old man," he continued. His voice was soft but menacing nonetheless.

The three men turned to him, surprise and fear written on their startled faces.

The young man threw the lamp he was carrying. Jumping in front of the eldest, his hand went to his sword.

"Assassin!"

"Who are you?" the third man inquired angrily.

Kenshin was silent.

"Answer" the man screamed and lunged at Kenshin sliding the sword out of its scabbard. Kenshin caught and deflect the blow with the hilt of his sheathed sword. He pushed the older man and without unsheathing his sword plunged it at his eye… hard. Then, with incredible speed, Kenshin unsheathed his sword and slashed open the man's right side killing him instantly.

Kaoru watched with pure terror as Kenshin ran to the remaining men.

The older man pushed Kiyosato out of the way.

"Get away! You must not die now!" before he had the chance to drew his sword Kenshin drove his sword under the man's chin.

Wrenching his blade free horizontally; he lunged at Kiyosato without hesitation. Kiyosato parried the blow leaping away from Kenshin.

At that moment something clicked inside Kaorus head. It was as if the first piece of a puzzle was found.

_"Do you know what day is today, Kaoru-dono?"_ Kenshin's words rang in her mind.

The fight continued.

"Surrender," she heard Kenshin's voice. But it was not the same warm and kind voice in her mind.

"I will not!" the other man screamed as he lunged at Kenshin. Kenshin deflected the blow, slashing his blade at Kiyosato. He made a long cut along his side and fresh blood splattered from the wound.

_"It is the day I killed Tomoe's fiancé."_

"NO!" Kaoru screamed. "Kenshin stop, please!" She ran to them just as Kenshin was about to strike Akira's shoulder.

The blade connected with her right shoulder instead and Kaoru gasped in pain. Reflexly, her hand went to her bloody shoulder. She swayed a little but held her ground in front of Kenshin, who was looking at her with his eyes wide open.

"Kenshin don't kill him please…" She looked at his astonished amber eyes.

But at once Kenshin recovered and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Move, woman," he hissed at her.

Kaoru shook her head.

"I will not allow you to kill him," she looked at him defiantly but her heart was hammering against her ribcage. Although he was Kenshin, one only needed to look at his eyes to recoil in fear. She had no doubts that he would hurt her; possibly kill her if she continued to block his way.

Still she did not move a muscle.

Kenshin face was impassive though his grip on the sword tightened.

"If you don't move this instant…" he left the threat open taking a step forward to emphasize his point.

She had to act fast. The deep breathing of Akira could be heard behind her. He was badly injured.

_There is no time for hesitation._

Kenshin took another step toward her and she did the first thing that came to her troubled mind.

She flung herself forward and hugged him. Arms tight around his neck; she winced as she moved her injured shoulder.

"You don't understand…" she said.

Kenshin was caught off guard; he certainly did not expect this.

Kaoru seized the opportunity and titled her head side way to address the injured man.

"Akira-san, please go."

He gazed at her with wide eyes. "How did you…."

"Please hurry!"

Akira regarded her for a moment. He did not want to leave her with that demon. But her pleading eyes made him obey. Leaning on his sword for support, he turned to the other direction and started to leave reluctantly.

Through this small conversation Kenshin remained still. He did not resist nor did he made it to push her away.

He was silent.

Those few moments of silent were broken when Kaoru heard the soft voice of metal hitting the ground. A rough hand gripped her injured shoulder; squeezing painfully.

She cried out in pain as the sudden violation shook her body.

"Who are you?" Kenshin growled at her, "How do you know my name?"

Although Kaoru opened her mouth to speak, no words came out. Her mouth was dry.

Tears clouded her vision but she could clearly make out his amber eyes, angry and dangerous.

What could she tell him? She was lost and confused. Countless questions ran through her troubled mind.

More pressure was applied to her already abused shoulder, cutting short her train of thoughts. Kaoru bit her lower lip to prevent herself from screaming in pain.

She was struggling to remain conscious. A fight which she was losing.

She gazed at his demanding eyes then, involuntarily, her eyes traveled to his lips and as her eyes settled on his smooth, unscarred left cheek her words from the previous night materialized before her eyes.

_"I wish to share his burden."_

But the throbbing pain on her bandaged neck conveyed another message.

The burden was hers to bear.

* * *

Kenshin felt her body go limp in his arm. He held her securely with both arms to prevent her from falling to the ground. Then lowering her carefully, he positioned her so that he could look at her face.

His amber eyes scanned her face, and his mind wondered who she was.

_A spy possibly._

She was too young to be a spy. Nevertheless the possibility was still valid.

He himself became an assassin at a tender age.

He tucked a single strand of hair away from her face and studied her features. She had beautiful face with strong, sharp features. Previously he sensed her aura glowing with courage. But her eyes were weary, as if they had seen too much.

He inspected the wound on her shoulder. It was not a deep one, but blood was flowing freely and the faint red spot which appeared on her bandaged neck did not help either.

But she would live.

He gazed at the other direction where the injured man had gone.

_He couldn't have gone far_, he thought.

Kenshin could catch up easily and finish him if he wanted.

His gaze flickered back to the unconscious girl in his arms.

He will allow her this small victory over him, she had earned it. After all it took great courage for anyone to stand firmly and oppose him.

For he was an assassin.

He lifted her lithe body from the ground. One hand under her knees, the other around her shoulders. Her soft black hair fell like a cascade in the air.

He was a manslayer.

Without looking back at the bloody scene he made, he disappeared into the shadows of the sleeping city.

He was Battousai.

* * *

Kaoru stirred in her sleep opening her eyes slowly.

Her first reaction was to cover her eyes with her left hand. Protecting them against the blinding light.

_What a terrible dream._

It seemed so real. With a soft sigh she made it to sit. But as she applied small pressure on her right hand to support her weight; a sharp pain shoot through her arm to her shoulder making her draw a deep breath.

Her shoulder was bandaged.

Dreadfully, she realized that it had not been a dream.

Remembering last night events, she managed to rise from the futon without worsening the condition of her injured shoulder.

_Kenshin caused this injury_, she remembered bitterly.

Shaking her head, she tried to dismiss this thought from her head. This wasn't the point.

The important matter was that she was somehow stuck in the past with no idea where she was and how to go back to her time.

Without any warning the door was slid open making Kaoru jump in surprise.

Kenshin stepped into the room.

Kaorus heart started to beat so fast that she thought he could hear it.

He narrowed his eyes at her. Kaoru wanted to withdraw and hide herself with the blanket just to escape those eyes. They were intriguing yet dangerous. His wild red bangs framed his handsome face, the red color made his eyes look menacing. Under his intense scrutiny she was suddenly aware of the fact that she was only wearing a sleeping yukata.

_Did he change my kimono?_ Fury overwhelmed her, making her clinched her fists.

Her old self was still there, lurking somewhere.

She was about to give him a piece of her mind when he spoke.

"How do you know my name?" he demanded coldly.

Kaoru blinked taken aback by his direct question.

This Kenshin was straight to the point.

_Her_ Kenshin was different.

Their demeanour wasnt the only distinguishable feature between them. Their look was different as well. This –younger- Kenshin wears his hair on a high ponytail unlike the low one Kenshin preferred to wear. The clothes, their aura, the look on their faces, all these were different. But most important of all…

"Speak!" he snapped impatiently at her. Taking a step forward.

Kaoru didn't know what to say. Everything had happened so quickly that she did not have the chance to device a palatable lie. So she muttered the first lie that crossed her confused mind.

"It was…it was a mistake" she muttered.

Everything was still. To Kaoru It seemed as if time had stopped. She held her breath as she waited for his reply.

"What fool do you take me for?" Kenshin hissed at her.

He was angry.

"No its the truth, I was lost and injured," she ushered to her still bandaged neck. "Things got mixed up in my mind. Please believe me."

Kenshin shot her a look that told her he did not believe her pathetic lie. _Who would?_ She thought.

"What is your name?" he asked impassively, after few moments of silence.

"What does it matter, I told…."

"Answer!" her ordered.

Kaoru stared at him debating whether to give him her true name. Deciding that it wouldn't possibly do her harm, she answered.

"Kamiya Kaoru."

Without uttering another word he spun on his heels and headed for the door.

"Wait!" Kaoru said.

He ignored her.

Kaoru sprang to her feet and went to him.

Just as she was about to touch his shoulder he turned abruptly, seized her uninjured upper arm and pushed her roughly against the nearest wall, knocking the breath out of her lungs.

He pinned her to the wall with his body, his right hand around her waist and the other lay flat against the wall next to her head. His mouth near her ear. Kaoru could feel his warm breath tickling her ear lobe.

"Don't act as if you are familiar with me, girl," he whispered softly near her ear."Last night's event was something _I_ had allowed to happen. I advice you against testing my limits."

Kaoru stood unmoving against his body, alarmed by their closeness.

Kenshin remained in that position for few moments, inhaling her sweet scent.

_Jasmine_

He pulled away slowly gazing at her astonished face.

His eyes traveled from her trembling lips to her delicate throat, then down to the gapping cleavage of her yukata. His eyes lingered there before looking at her face again.

He could practically feel the wild beating of her heart against his chest. She was scared but her eyes held a faraway look. They were dazed and unfocused as if she was somewhere else.

Suddenly, just as he had seized her, he released her.

Turning around, he walked to the door without looking back.

This is how it supposed to be.

Fear.

People who know him only look at him with pure fear in their eyes.

This girl shouldn't be any different.

The way she had defied him last night was a challenge to him, he wanted to break her. He wanted to see fear in her eyes. And he achieved what he desired.

But what he didn't know was that Kaoru's fear was for an entirely different reason….

Caused by an entirely different person.

* * *

Ah! this chapter was very long, but i enjoyed writing it.

and yes time-travel fic! I dont know how many of you predicted this but hopefully this wont put anyone off.

An important thing to note that this is not Reminiscence OVA fic, I just had to borrow the fighting scence in order to establish the base of Kaoru's and Kenshin's meeting. Kenshin personality is not exactly the same as in the OVAs, I think it became appearant in this chapter. and Kaoru will NOT be Tomoes substitute, Tomoe will have her unique rule in this story.

So overall, The only common thing between this fic and the OVAs -apart from the fighting scene- is the angst...and blood. .

Thanks for reading.


	3. Need

Finally third chapter is out :-D First I would like to thank all the wonderfull people who took time to read and review. It means a lot to me. Few notes as usual:

- Someone that said this story seems fimiliar. I believe there are other time travel fics but none is wrote by me...this is my first and only fic :-)

- Just to make things clear, Kenshin is 18 years old in this fic and Kaoru 17 (soon to be 18)

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Need**

It was peaceful in the garden.

Leaning against the rail of the small bridge, Kaoru gazed at her reflection which appeared on the pond.

Three days had passed since she was brought here. Things moved so rapidly here that she hardly had a moment to herself.

She fondled with a stray strand of her hair as she recalled the events which led her to this time.

She remembered the terrible noise, the feeling of helplessness as she fell; the battle voice, but all these did not make sense to her. Although her eyes were closed during the fall she recalled seeing images in here head, not pictures though, more like incomplete thoughts. Some were so terrifying that she was struggling to get away from them. However, at the same time something was pulling her as if "it" was in need of her help. Was she brought here to help Akira-san? And why did she end up in that particular dojo? Did it form some kind of connection to her time?

Kaoru sighed._ This is giving me headache._

She watched as a red fish moved in the little pond. Her thoughts shifted to Kesnhin.

Her Kenshin.

He must be looking for her, mind filled with possibilities of what might have happened to her. But she was certain that no one would expect that she was trapped in another time.

Her gaze flickered to the other side of the garden where an unknown man was sitting, supposedly reading.

She spent most of the time helping the women with regular chores. They were nice enough with her but Kaoru was no fool.

They didn't trust her.

Kaoru knew that this man was watching her; they suspected that she was a spy.

Let them watch her. She had nothing to hide. Well that wasn't entirely true. But she could not reveal the truth of the circumstances in which she arrived to this place.

The day before yesterday a man approached her, asking her different questions about her identity and the reason why she was wandering at night.

_What was his name? Iizuka?_

She didn't like this man. There was something about him that made her uneasy. And the way he was looking at her caused her to shiver despite the warm sun on that day.

Dwelling on this made her remember her last encounter with Kenshin.

_Or Battousai._

It hadn't been pleasant at all.

She had not spoken to him since that incident in the room. In fact she was avoiding him.

No she wasn't scared of him. But thinking of the way her body was pressed against the wall, the feeling of his hand on her waist, the look in those burning amber eyes brought painful memories of a certain night, certain person.

_Him_

Kaoru stood straight shaking her head.

_Don't be silly you are safe here, he won't hurt you, he won't reach you._

But destiny was mocking her.

* * *

Inside one of the rooms, two men sat opposite to each other around a low table.

"So?"

"I couldn't find anything about her; this girl has no records whatsoever."

"Her records must have been destroyed."

"Possibly. I talked to her the other day."

"And?"

"She said that her family was killed on their way to Kyoto. According to her she is the sole survivor."

The other man narrowed his eyes, "we have not heard of any such incident."

"I'm aware of that but this girl's excuses are hmmm… unconvincing. A true spy can do better."

"Still we can not take any chances. Few selected individuals know Battousai's name. I find it hard to believe it was a mere coincident that she knew his real name," the man rose to his feet. "She must be watched at all time."

"Another thing, Katsura-san," he stood as well, "I spoke to the women who treated her wound and she told me that there were marks on the girl's body."

"Marks? What kind of marks?" Katsura asked.

"Burn marks, small cuts, fading bruises….it is as if the girl has been tortured."

"Tortured, eh?" He considered this for a moment. "There is something peculiar about this young woman."

"Indeed."

"Report any unusual events immediately, Iizuka."

"Yes, Katsura-san."

* * *

Kaoru was walking in the corridor, basket in her hand. She was on her way to collect the clothes which were hung in the back yard of this inn. As she neared the end of the corridor she halted. Hearing voices, she hid behind the wall and glanced at the two men talking in the open yard.

_Kenshin_

Kenshin's back was to her, he was speaking to a man she did not recognize.

"Tomorrow," the man said.

Kenshin nodded and tucked a paper inside the folds of his clothes.

"Shinsen gumi will be present, make sure you're not seen."

"I know what I'm doing, save your breath," Kenshin snapped. Anger oozed from his voice.

The man cleared his throat, apparently taken aback by Kenshin's temper.

"Ah…em… yah...I should not have questioned your ability, excuse my foolishness."

Kenshin did not bother to reply.

The man, who was looking nervous now, excused himself and started to leave. Luckily for Kaoru, he headed to the other direction.

Kenshin did not move. He stood there staring at the big Sakura tree, the soft wind riffled through his red hair. Pink petals fell from the branches of the beautiful tree, indicating the end of its short life cycle.

Kaoru stood gazing at Kesnhin, wondering what occupied his mind.

"I know you are there, girl," he spoke softly, "you can come out."

Kaoru was surprised. _How did he…?_

She braced herself and walked slowly to where he was standing. Placing the basket on the ground, she stood beside him.

"I have a name you know, and it's Kaoru."

Kenshin kept staring at the tree without uttering a word.

Kaoru sighed and followed his gaze toward the Sakura tree.

An awkward silence settled upon them.

"So another person is going to die tomorrow," this definitely grasped his attention. He turned his head toward her and glared skeptically at her. His golden eyes bore into her.

Anyone would have cowered under those eyes but Kaoru held his gaze.

Kenshin narrowed his eyes at her. Then he looked away.

"People die everyday," came his reply.

"Not by hired assassins," she responded briefly.

"His death will contribute to the good of all," he whispered, more to himself than to her.

"And who are you to decide the fate of others? Killing someone to protect others, diminishing a living soul so that other souls will live happily. I'm sure that this person has relatives who will mourn his death."

"He is a scum who deserves to die," he snapped, not bothering to hide his irritation. "What do you know, anyway?"

Kaoru did not quiver under his glare.

"I Know that fighting evil with evil isn't the answer, I know that a sword isn't a tool to kill, it is a tool to protect the ones you love, I have been taught this lesson by someone who lived by the sword."

"Then this person is a fool," Kenshin retorted, looking directly at her dark blue eyes.

_If only you knew_, Kaoru thought.

They stood staring at each other as the wind stirred their hair and the pink petals danced around them.

Kenshin was caught in the pool of her eyes. No fear was reflected on them. The bones in her face were strong, adding to her beautiful features, but there was something beyond her looks that was totally arresting.

The spell was broken as the sound of footsteps was heard.

Two figures stepped into the yard. Kaoru turned her head away from Kenshin looking at the approaching men.

One of them was a big man with a serious and scowling face. The other man was a handsome young man –probably around thirty- with a kind and calm face. His black hair was held in a high ponytail.

But there was no mistake of who was in charge.

"Katsura-san," Kenshin inclined his head in a polite bow, addressing the handsome man.

The man smiled at Kenshin and nodded, and then he diverted his attention to Kaoru.

"I finally have the chance to meet our new guest."

"More like a prisoner," Kaoru muttered under her breath.

"I sincerely apologise if we gave you this impression, I am Katsura Kogor,o" he said as he extended his hand to her.

_Katsura Kogoro_

Kaoru heard of this man. He was the leader of Ishin-shishi, the anti-Shogunate. The one who had opened the doors to the new era. But above all, this was man who gave Kenshin the orders to kill.

She pursed her lips and clenched her fists as she stared down at his extended hand. Raising her head her, she shot him a glare which was full of anger and resentment.

"Girl, if you…." The nameless man began but checked as Katsura raised a graceful hand.

"I can not blame you for suspecting my intentions," Kaoru began, "after all being a leader of a herd of assassins requires a high degree of prudence," she finished mockingly.

Kaoru could sense Kenshin's death glare directed toward her. And the other mans hand went to the hilt of his sword. But she did not flinch.

Katsura regarded her narrowly, his graceful dark brows were knotted, but not in an angry manner, more in confusion.

Then a knowing smile formed on his lips, as if he had found an appropriate explanation.

"I am glad you understand," he said simply in a pleasant voice.

As Kaoru pondered over her next words, her eyes settled on the sword which was buckled at Katsura's hip. She could not keep the remark.

"I can see you have a sword of your own," Kaoru said in a light tone.

"So?"

"I'm just wondering why you don't make a use of it instead of hiring people to perform your dirty work," she continued steadily, her eyes never leaving his.

Kenshin whipped his head toward her.

"Girl if you don't hold your…." he was interrupted by the sound of Katsura chuckling.

Chuckling?

Kaoru stared at him in bewilderment.

"Ah Kamiya-san, you never cease to amaze me. I admire your outspoken nature."

"I'm so flattered," she replied sarcastically.

This man is an enigma. He displayed no anger or irritation over her provoking remarks and He showed no change in his normal controlled elegance.

"To answer your question, although I carry this sword all time," he spoke as he moved to stand near the Sakura tree, "I have made a promise never to wield it again."

"So keeping your promise is more important than other's peace of mind?" she hissed.

He turned his head to her, his hands behind his back.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I meant," she spat, "that you employ individuals, turn them into murderers to do your bidding, uncaring of the consequences this will bring upon them and thoughtless of the sleepless nights and nightmares they experience."

Katsura held her unwavering blue eyes with his gaze.

"I take it you're referring to someone in particular?"

Kaoru did not respond. In reality she was speechless._ Had I said too much?_

"Emm… no… no one in particular" she said incoherently.

Kaoru was aware of three pairs of eye staring at her, but she only glared at Katsura. His aura was calm and steady. Kaoru Knew that any other man would have killed her without hesitation for her frank comments.

"And may I inquire about your wound?" asked Katsura.

Kaoru was thankful for the change of subject. "It is healing, it was only a shallow wound," she replied as she moved her right shoulder.

"It was an unfortunate accident," Katsura said shaking his head, "Himura's blade was aimed for someone else." He placed one hand under his chin, thinking deeply. "If my memory does not fail me, his name was Akira as you called him," he eyed her purposely.

Kaoru tensed. She did not explain her acquaintance with Tomoe's fiancé. And of course she can not say it was another coincidence.

Her mouth became dry and she felt a lump forming in her throat. She became nervous.

Katsura eyed her deliberately.

Kaoru diverted her eyes to the right, where Kenshin stood glaring at her.

_Those golden eyes are not helping at all_, she thought wildly.

Fortunately for Kaoru, Katsura made a gesture with his hand dismissing the matter.

"It's not important," he said "What about the other wound?" he ushered to her wrapped neck.

Kaoru placed her hand gently on her neck. Bowing her head she spoke softly. "It takes time but it will heal."

_Please don't ask. Please don't,_ she thought desperately.

Thankfully Katsura didn't. He nodded and said, "time is a healer Kamiya-san, a slow one I must say."

Kenshin studied her closely. He noticed the change in her aura. Previously it was pulsing with anger and fury toward Katsura. However, now it was a different matter. Her aura reflected sadness and…

His thoughts were interrupted as Kaoru stooped to the ground and picked the forgotten basket. Once again she faced Katsura with determined face.

"I need to go to the town," her tone was commanding as if his permission did not matter to her.

"You do?" he cocked a quizzical eyebrow.

"I need kimonos, mine was damaged and I can not continue asking other women for their clothes."

Katsura contemplated her request.

"I grant you permission," he said after few moments of silence.

Kaoru bit her tongue to prevent another rude remark. She was infuriated.

_Who does he think he is? Telling me what to do..._

"Katsura-san, she can't…" the nameless man protested but Katsura gestured for silence.

"But…" Katsura began, "someone will accompany you," he looked at her as if waiting for her to object. When she did not do so he continued "Himura, I believe you are free today?"

Kenshin's head jerked up to gaze at Katsura, he was about to protest but a silent message was exchanged between the two, a message which Kaoru did not understand. Despite his previous reaction, Kenshin nodded on mutual agreement.

"All set now," Katsura said "I hope that pleases you, Kamiya-san."

"Thank you for your kindness," Kaoru responded without meaning it.

She carried the empty basket and walked away from the trio.

Unaware of the mistake she made.

* * *

Katsura's eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the wall of the corridor which led to the yard.

"What a fierce girl," Katsura said with a smile.

"She should be killed, Katsura," the third man stated, "She knows too much, she is a spy."

"Indeed she does," Katsura replied, "but still we can not condemned her of being a spy."

"She knew you were the head of Ishin-shishi just by hearing your name." The two men looked at Kenshin as he spoke.

"Yes I was aware of that the moment she mentioned it," Katsura agreed, "I must say I'm still surprised, to the public I'm just an official governor. No one knows my identity as the leader of Ishin-shishi. That's why Himura I need you to watch her today. Make sure she does not make contact with any suspicious person."

Kenshin nodded. He bowed his head briefly before turning.

As he walked away, his mind was pondering over the girl's angry words to Katsura.

_Thoughtless of the sleepless nights and nightmares they experience._

_How did she know?_

* * *

Kaoru was waiting for Kenshin near the main gate.

_He is late._

_Mou, and I thought Kenshin's politeness was annoying._ She fumed as she tapped her foot.

At last Kenshin showed up, walking slowly, face impassive as if no one was waiting for him.

"You know, it is _rude_ to make a lady wait," she summoned her most irritated voice and glared dagger at him.

Kenshin arched an eyebrow, amused by her anger.

"Well, you can either tolerate or continue to live by the charity of other women," he responded calmly.

Kaoru gritted her teeth, "you…"

"Come, I don't have all day," he started to walk.

Kaoru was furious.

_If only I had a bokken I would have beaten politeness out of him._

She inhaled deeply, calming herself.

And she followed him.

* * *

The town was busy.

Kaoru looked around her, making mental comparison between Tokyo and Kyoto.

Everything was peaceful and normal. Children played, women chatted, men laughed. It was hard to believe it was a time of war.

Kenshin walked beside her. His face displaying no emotions.

Now and then she stopped at different shops to inspect some kimonos. She possessed enough money to buy two or three kimonos and few other necessities she required. The money she had was an advanced payment she requested from the keeper of the inn. Therefore, Kaoru was obliged to stay there till her dept was paid.

_It's not like I have another place to go to._

She bought a light purple kimono decorated with white butterflies.

In the next shop she was holding a bluish-green kimono as another red kimono caught her eyes.

"Oh! It's so beautiful, isn't it Kenshin?" She asked the silent man.

Kenshin eyes moved toward the Kimono.

"The patterns are so nice. But don't you think red is a little bit exaggerating?" She kept talking.

Kenshin did not reply though he was listening attentively. She was speaking to him as if it was a natural routine for both of them to go shopping together. The way she smiled brightly at him, the way she talked, the way she looked at him stirred undefined emotions within him. Her natural behavior around him made him wonder if she was aware if the fact that he was an assassin.

He watched her as she scooped her hair behind her ear, talking to the seller.

He didn't know if she was a fool or simply innocent. But one thing for sure...

Surprisingly, he felt at peace around this enigmatic stranger.

* * *

Kaoru walked ahead of Kenshin who was –like any gentleman- carrying the few stuff she had bought.

They were still walking in the busy streets of the town.

"Kyoto is a nice city and it is good to be out for a change," she whirled, facing him her hands behind her back.

"Ano Kenshin? Don't you need anything?" She asked as she walked backward.

"I'm fine," he responded coldly.

"Come on, you must want someth….ahhh" Kaoru let out a small shriek of surprise as she fell to the ground.

She had collided with something or rather…someone.

"Aw… this hurts," She complained as she sat slowly rubbing her sore wrist, which had taken the fall.

"Miss, are you alright?" an unfamiliar voice inquired.

Kaoru blinked trying to register what had happened. Her eyes focused on the source of the voice. A young man was crouching beside her. His chocolate brown eyes were full of concern.

"Ah, yes…yes I am fine," Kaoru said suddenly aware of her surroundings. "I'm really sorry I did not see where I was going, I…"

"It's totally fine, it was my mistake too. I wasn't paying attention." He was young, perhaps younger than her; his hair was dark brown almost black. Although he was wearing casual blue hakama she noticed the sword strapped to his hip.

"I am sorry miss," he apologized as he made it to help her to her feet. "Are you…." He did not have the chance to finish his question because just as he was about to touch her Kenshin stooped and hauled her to her feet by her injured shoulder.

"Ah!" Kaoru cried out as she was forced to stand.

Kenshin kept his painful hold on Kaoru's upper arm as he glared at the young man.

The young man glared back.

Kaoru watched them in confusion.

_What is wrong with them? Do they know each other? _Kaoru wondered frantically.

People were starting to gather around them. The young man glanced briefly at them then he looked at Kaoru, smiling.

"I'm sorry again if I caused you any problems," he bowed his head briefly to her.

"No really you didn't…" Kaoru started, trying to pull her arm free from Kenshin's strong grip.

"Let's go," Kenshin ordered as he dragged her by her upper arm, and the crowd parted before them.

A pair of chocolate brown eyes followed them until they disappeared among the multitude of people.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kaoru demanded for the tenth time possibly.

He was totally ignoring her, but he kept an iron grip on her arm. And she was having a hard time trying to keep up with his fast pace.

She tried to pull away with no luck.

"Let me go," She was furious. "You are hurting me," she suspected that her wound will be torn open any time.

Suddenly he released her. Kaoru staggered, but kept her balance unsteadily. Putting her hand on her shoulder, she glared at him.

Kenshin glowered at her, his hand clutching the paper bag in his hand.

"Who was that man?" came his cold voice.

"How would I know?" Kaoru spat, "You didn't give him the chance to speak; he was just trying to help and you…"

"You think I would fall for this play?" He asked angrily. "Just admit it; he was a friend, possibly a Shogunate. So are you working for them?"

Kaoru stared at him with wide eyes. "I can't believe you, you made that scene because you thought I was conveying a secret message or something to him? That's ridiculous."

"You do not help your case buy adopting this kind of attitude. Explain to me then how you knew my name; explain to me what you were doing wondering at night alone. Explain to me how you came to know the identity of Katsura."

Kaoru wanted to tell him that she owed him no explanation, but this won't help at all.

She took a deep breath.

"Please Kenshin…"

"It's Battousai to you," he interrupted her.

Kaoru shook her head. "Please just stop it. There are things I wish to tell you," her voice was soft, "but I can't, at least not yet."

"Then when? When the harm is done?" he retorted.

"No, never. I would never harm you. I would never do anything to endanger you," she looked at him with pleading eyes. "I know it may be hard, but please, all I'm asking of you is to trust me."

"That is too much to ask," he said simply.

"I know," Kaoru bowed her head. "Trust isn't something to give, it has to be gained, but…" she lifted her head and looked at him with renewed determination, "trust me Kenshin, I will gain it," with that she walked to him and took the bag from his hand, her eyes never leaving his.

Without waiting for him, she started to walk toward the inn.

* * *

Once again, Kaoru found herself sitting on the porch.

She gazed at the garden. The bright moon was reflected on the pond.

The silence was tranquil.

The occupiers of the inn were asleep. Well they should be, it was late. However Kaoru could not bring herself to sleep.

Nightmares were hunting her again.

For two days she had been blessed with peaceful sleep. But lately, it was filled with agonizing memories.

Despite her attempts to reassure herself that he was in another time, in another place, she felt him near.

Kaoru knew that he lived here in this time. A young boy, younger than Yahiko perhaps. He probably was living happily with Tomoe. As a normal kid.

But why was her wound throbbing with pain? Sometimes especially at night, the pain would become too great to bear.

Kaoru was about to rise when she heard a noise.

_What was that?_ It sounded like the splashing of water. And it was coming from the other part of the garden.

She hesitated at first, but curiosity won.

She made her way to the other side, turning left she saw someone standing by the well.

_Kenshin_

He was facing the well, his back to her. And he was drenched in water.

"Kenshin..." she said softly.

Kenshin turned around quickly, startled that she was awake at this late hour.

Kaoru gazed at him. Droplets of water were dripping from his crimson hair. His golden eyes shone in the dark night. But what caught her eyes was his blood stained clothes.

"Blood…" she said as she walked unsteadily to him, one hand extended before her.

"It's not my blood," Kenshin muttered as he averted his haunted eyes.

Kaoru stopped few inches away from him. Raising her hand toward his left cheek, she touched it gently. Kenshin tensed for a moment, then he relaxed at her tender touch.

He closed his eyes and allowed her to caress his cheek.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" She whispered, "your heart…"

"It's for a better Kyoto," he said, eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry..." she said in a sorrowful voice.

Kenshin opened his eyes. Confusion was apparent in them.

_What is she apologizing for?_

He stared at her dazzling blue eyes. They did not show sympathy. What he saw was grieve and great sadness.

"I know you can not stop killing. Not yet, not now," she said in a choked voice, "so please…"

Kenshin eyes lingered on her face but something on her neck grasped his attention.

Red spot tainted the perfectly white bandage.

Before he had the chance to speak she removed her hand from his cheek and wrapped both arms around his neck.

She hugged him. Kenshin eyes went wide.

"Please let me comfort you, let me share your burden, let me take away your pain," she pleaded, her soft voice was muffled against his neck.

Kenshin could feel her shaking against his body, he could feel warm liquid dripping on his neck in contrast to the cold water.

She was crying. _For me?_

Kenshin did not know why but he was overwhelmed with strange emotions. Sentiments which he had thought long forgotten or buried deep within him, out of reach.

He felt that he needed her. He wanted to be close to her. He wanted to… hold her.

So he wrapped his strong arms around her small waist bringing her closer to him.

He hugged her back.


	4. Move on or not

Hey

At last chapter 4 is out :D it took a long time a I know but hopefully this chapter will worth your waiting. Usual notes:

Thanks to all the reviewers, really your reviews mean a lot to me.

To mafuyu hotaru: yes the one she was talking about was Enishi, sorry if I confused you xD

Many were curious about the brown haired guy...his identity will be revealed this chap hehe...

Final thing, This chapter is heavily rated M for adult themes and extreme violence so enjoy...

* * *

Chapter 4: Move on..or not

Kaoru didn't expect things would change this fast.

There she was walking on the dirt track which led to the inn…

Alone.

Ten days had passed since her arrival to this time and things are quite different in many aspects. She was allowed to go to the town with no escort.

Kaoru looked around her as she walked. To her right was a river, flowing continuously to its destination. Although she was walking alone, the road was not empty. People chat as they wander by, going to the opposite direction. Perhaps one of them was Katsura's man, sent to spy on her. But Kaoru did not care, she was content with the freedom she had.

Carrying a bag in her hand, she made her way slowly to the inn. The weather was warm and refreshing so she was deliberately taking her time; she wanted to stay out as long as possible. Refreshing breeze was blowing, lifting Kaoru's hair. She tucked a stray strand behind her ear as she took in the beautiful scene to her right. Sakura trees decorated the river bank. She thought how nice it would be to sit under one of them to clear her mind.

_Well, I guess being little bit late won't hurt anyone._

She made her way to a random Sakura tree. Placing the bag on the green grass, she positioned her self against the tree, legs folded under her. Kaoru, overwhelmed by peaceful sensation, leaned against the trunk and closed her eyes.

She could hear the voices of nature. Birds chirping, gentle wind blowing, the sound of the running water.

Never in the past ten days, no in the past six months, had she felt so tranquil and free from restlessness.

Her thoughts suddenly traveled to the future, to her home, to her friends. She wondered if Kenshin and the others had given up looking for her.

_I miss everyone. _Kaoru thought as she opened her eyes.

As days passed by she was slowly losing hope of returning to her time. Two days ago, while running one of the inn owner's errand in town, Kaoru decided to visit the dojo in which everything started. However there was a big problem; she was unable to remember its location. Kaoru was frustrated with herself. How could she forgot to read the dojo's name? or at least familiarized herself with a land mark or something?

Kaoru sighed in defeat.

But back then, it did not cross her mind for a single moment that she was in different time. In the other hand, maybe she could ask Kenshin for directions.

But what would she say to him? Ano, Kenshin do you remember the place where we first met? You know the place where you nearly killed Akira-san?

_Great Kaoru, you sound so stupid. _

Kaoru shifted slightly in her position. She was supposed to clear her mind not think negatively. But she could not help but to think of Kenshin.

Kenshin of this time.

No matter how much he snapped at her, Kaoru refused to call him Battousai. To her he was not a heartless killer as the others regarded him. He wanted to bring safety and peacefulness to common people. And he was suffering for it. Despite his impassive façade which he showed to everyone, Kaoru was able to see past it. That night, Kenshin allowed her to. He had permitted her to comfort him, to be close to him.

However, the next day he acted as if nothing had happened. She ran into him and he simply ignored her. Kaoru was angry with his attitude, but she felt some changes about him. She can not quite describe it, all she could say that the way he looked at her these days was different. Before, he used to stare at her with eyes filled with distrust and doubt. But now, whenever she caught him looking at her, his amber eyes reflected different emotions.

Kaoru brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Confusion.

Yes, it was the best way to describe it. To her it appeared as if he was trying to look into the depth of her soul. To put it in another way, it seemed to her as if she was a puzzle he was trying to solve.

Despite his cold attitude toward her, Kaoru was determined to help him. If she was to stay in this time, she would at least make use of it for Kenshin's sake.

Kaoru glanced upward. Pink petals were falling endlessly. She loved Sakura trees. It reminded her of happy times.

Happy times... with her parents.

Kaoru was aware of the fact that a younger version of herself was living in Tokyo. _Perhaps mum and dad are sitting under a Sakura tree as well. Watching my younger self playing in the yard. No maybe dad was training his student and she was mimicking their moves in the shadows. While mum is busy preparing lunch._

Kaoru smiled sadly.

She missed them so much.

She wanted to see them, embrace them tightly and tell them how much he loved them, even if it was for a short time; but she knew it was not possible. She could not trust herself with controlling her emotions. She was certain that she will break and cry like a child upon meeting them.

Even now as she remembered her mother's beautiful face and her father's strict but gentle nature, tears welled in her eyes.

She rested her head against the tree and closed her eyes. Tears sliding along her cheek. Wind blew gently against her face cooling her wet face.

"I did not think it was possible for anyone to cry in this beautiful day" someone with a tender voice said.

Kaoru blinked and looked toward the source of the voice.

Blue eyes met chocolate brown ones.

Kaoru stared at him. He was the same young man she encountered in the town. The one she accidentally collided with. She did not feel him coming close to her, and looking at him now he was pretty much close to her, crouching beside her and smiling at her.

"I'm really sorry, I did not mean to surprise like this" The strange youth spoke when she kept staring at him without uttering a word.

"ah…emm…no you do not need to apologize" Kaoru recovered and blushed a little.

_Mo, I must have looked so stupid staring at him like that. _

"I was going to take break from walking when I spotted you" he fumbled in the folds of his hakama and produced a tissue "hora, allow me please"

Kaoru confused, just looked at him. He crouched on one knee and leaned closer to her. Extending his right hand toward her face, he made it to wipe her tears.

"oh...am fi...fine …I …"

His only response was to smile at her and place his free hand on her shoulder.

Kaoru tensed.

"It's ok, just relax" He brought his hand nearer and started to wipe her tears tenderly. Kaoru did not even feel his light touch. Despite her lack of acquaintance with him, Kaoru closed her eyes and relaxed. She did not know why but she felt that she could trust him. Even the hand on her shoulder was gentle. His aura was calm and serene.

He slowly withdrew his right hand but kept his left one on her shoulder. Kaoru opened her eyes and gazed at him. The bright smile was still on his face.

"Your eyes are more beautiful without the tears"

"Thank you" Kaoru responded, smiling nervously at him.

He stared at her for few seconds then moved away.

"I did not introduce myself" the brown-haired stranger said " I'm Okita Souji"

"Kamiya Kaoru"

"I did not expect to see you again" Okita said as he positioned himself next to her, keeping a decent distance between them "I hope you are unharmed by the little accident"

Kaoru shrugged "no, it was nothing"

"Your husband seemed unhappy about it" Okita looked at her as he said that.

"Husband?!" Kaorus eyes were filled with confusion as she looked at him. Then it clicked in her mind.

_He meant Kenshin!_

Red colour rose to her cheeks. looking away she murmured incoherently " emm...no he...is not my husband. He is only..."

Words escaped her. She thought for a moment. What was Kenshin to her? A friend? No Sano was her friend and what she felt for Kenshin was not quite the same.

"Ano..." Okitas voice interrupted her thoughts "Are you ok, Kamiya-san?"

"Yeah. Sorry" she muttered quickly "He is a close friend of mine and you can call me Kaoru"

Stretching his legs, Okita leaned back on his hands. His head traveled upward to the sky.

His casual, blue hakama matched the colour of the Sky as well as her kimono which was embroided with white butterflies.

"So do you live around here?" he asked without looking at her.

"Yes, well I live and work in the same place" she responded.

His gaze flickered to the bag next to her "and that is..."

"I work in an inn"

"I see" His head tilted to an angle "may I ask what is the name of the inn?"

Kaoru did not respond immediately. Contemplating his question.

_Ishin shin members live there, I may cause them a problem if I give away their hideout._

Deciding against revealing the inn's name, she lied "It's called Sakura House"

His reply came as a brief nod only.

Kaoru's eyes dropped to the sword which was placed on the grass next to him.

Kaoru thought that he was too young to carry a sword around.

As if reading her silent thought Okita spoke"It is a hard time, the time in which we live in, one should always be guarded"

His tone was serious and dark. There was a faraway look in his eyes and they were filled with something akin to anger.

Then he glanced at her smiling "Same goes for you Kaoru-chan, I don't think it is safe to walk alone"

"Thanks for you concern, but" Kaoru replied "I can take care of myself"

"I am sure you can, you seem like a strong woman" Okita said as he stood, offering his right hand to Kaoru "The sun will be setting soon"

Kaoru placed her hand on his, reflecting how rough his hand was.

Okita helped her to her feet, then he bent down to pick her bag.

"Thanks, Okita-kun" Kaoru said as he handed over her bag.

He retrieved his sword and strapped it back around his waist.

They walked together to the main road in silence.

The silence was broken when Okita suddenly started to cough.

He dropped to his knee, producing a series of harsh dry coughs. Filled with concern, Kaoru crouched beside him and placed her hand on his back.

"Okita, are you feeling ill?" Kaoru asked in a worried voice.

When the coughing subsided Okita looked at at her smiling.

"I'm ok, don't worry, it's nothing" he assured her "it's only the weather, you know Autumn is near"

Kaoru regarded him then nodded.

Okita stood up "I will be heading back to town now"

Kaoru nodded and smiled at him "So I guess this is goodbye now?"

"Who knows, we may meet again" Okita said "but anyway it was nice seeing you again, Kaoru-chan" He smiled at her.

"You too Okita-kun" Kaoru replied and bowed politely "goodbye for now"

Kaoru turned and started to walk away.

Okitas brown eyes followed her as she walked. Her raven hair swaying behind her.

"Yes..." he whispered "goodbye for _now_"

The smile faded off his face.

* * *

Next day.

Kenshin walked in the corridor of the inn. The wooden floor was silent beneath his feet. His golden eyes were burning in the poorly lit corridor.

Tonight there was no mission for him. He was scheduled to assassinate someone but it was canceled because the circumstances were not fitting.

Rain was pouring heavily outside. It seemed as if the sky was mourning for the souls of the dead.

Not that he minded the rain. To him rain was purifying, it cleansed this sinful city.

His to-be victim changed his schedule at the last minute, so Katsura decided to spare his life tonight.

Only tonight.

He rounded one corner which will lead him to the stairs. His plan was to retire to the solitude of his room. Not that he can rest. The souls of his victims would always hunt him. This was his punishment...

"Come on my beauty, don't be afraid"

Kenshin stopped as he heard someone speaking.

Then he headed toward the source of the voice, lengthening his strides. As he turned to for the second time he saw what was the commotion about.

Two men, Ishin shin guards, were hovering over a black haired girl who was leaning against the wall. Kenshin recognized her.

Kaoru.

His presence was not sensed so he remained behind them, observing.

The girl's head was bowed, her fringe covered her eyes preventing him from reading her expression. Both of her hands were fisted at her side, trembling.

Whether it was in fear or rage, Kenshin did not know.

"We only want to have fun" The other man said "I promise you if you cooperate it will be fun for you as well"

Still the girl remained silent.

"Oi girl, are you deaf? Say something" the second man demanded as he raised his hand toward her face.

"Don't" Kenshin's low but dangerous voice echoed before the man had the chance to touch Kaoru.

"What the..." one of the men retorted as he turned toward the dark voice. His words died in his throat as he saw the red hair and the amber eyes which promised death to those foolish enough to defy him.

Both of the men froze in their place.

"oh...we .. we are sorry...Battousai" one of the men mumbled nervously, fear written all over his face "we did not know ...that she's your woman" his partner nodded quickly in agreement.

"Now you know" Kenshin growled at them "so get lost"

The two men did not wait to be told twice, they practically ran to the other direction.

Kenshin glared after them until they disappeared behind the wall.

His amber eyes flickered back to the girl. She was still pinned against the wall, head inclined downward. He moved toward her, stopping few inches away from her. Her lithe form was trembling.

"Look at me" He ordered.

When Kaoru did not obey, he closed the gap between them and placed his hand under her chin tilting her head toward him.

Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She then closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Kaoru looked away from him. Shame prevented her from looking at those proud golden eyes. Yes she was ashamed of herself. She felt weak and useless.

When those two men cornered her, she knew exactly what they wanted from her. So her mind went completely blank. She was overwhelmed with uncontrolled fear.

_Who am I kidding? I cannot take care of myself. _

"Come" Kaoru heard Kenshin saying.

He held her hand and started to walk, pulling her along with him.

"Whe...where are we going?" Kaoru asked in a shaky voice.

Kenshin did not reply. Keeping a firm hold on her small hand, he led her toward the stairs.

They ascended the steep stairs and into the empty hallway which led to Kenshin's room.

_Wait, his room..._

When they arrived in front of his room, Kenshin slid the door open and stepped inside, pulling her with him.

"Wait, why are we here?" Kaoru protested feeling nervous. Her blue eyes scanned the room. This was the room in which she had woken up on her first day here.

She jumped when Kenshin shut the shoji door.

He then released her hand and headed toward something rolled on one corner of the room.

_A futon!_

He picked it up and placed again on the center of the room, rolling it open.

"What are you doing? Stop igno..."

"You will sleep here tonight" Kenshin rich voice interrupted her.

Kaoru was astounded.

_Sleep...with Kenshin? In the same room!_

She was so astonished that she did not feel him approaching her again. His hand moved toward hers. But she jerked it away from his hand and took a step backward, shaking her head.

Kenshin glared at her, his golden eyes shone in the semi dark room, then he sighed.

Before Kaoru could register what happened, Kenshin was in front of her. She gasped as he hauled her off her feet by placing his left hand on her shoulders and the other under her knees.

He carried her in his strong arms without breaking a sweat as if she was a mere child. Her sandals fell to the ground as he turned toward the futon.

Kaoru struggled in his arms which only result in him tightening his hold on her.

"No..put me down Kenshin...NOW" She screamed the last word not because she was angry but because he suddenly knelt and dropped her onto the soft futon. She immediately sat again glaring directly into his eyes. Her raven hair was disarrayed now, her blue ribbon barely held her hair and numerous stray strands escaped the silk restraint, in contrast to his tidy red hair which famed his handsome face perfectly.

She did not care if she looked hideous at that moment, she was furious with him.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she hissed "Himura Kenshin, I'm not..." Her sentence was cut short when Kenshin leaned toward her. His hands went to her cheeks, cupping her face.

His amber eyes gazed into her sapphire ones.

"I won't hurt you" He said in a low voice. His face was so close to hers, Kaoru could feel his warm breath on her skin. She stared at his mouth, then back to his fascinating eyes. "You will sleep here tonight" Kenshin repeated, his eyes never leaving hers.

Kaoru nodded slowly in submission.

She felt that she could trust him.

Kenshin kept his warm hands on her face little bit longer, then one of them moved deliberately to her hair, more precisely to her ribbon. With a single tuck he freed her thick hair from the ribbon. Her silky raven hair came down covering her back.

Kenshin's eyes studied her. He was intensely aware of her full lips, the curve of her throat , the swift rise and fall of her breasts, and with that awareness came the wild, hot thoughts.

Kenshin shock his head to clear these thoughts.

_Stop it don't think like that, she will only distract you._

Kenshin stood abruptly.

"Sleep" it was more like an order.

Kaoru's eyes followed him as he headed to the window which was to her right. A large collection of books were stacked near it. He settled against the pile, leaning on his sword. With that he closed his eyes.

Kaoru gave a soft sigh and looked down at herself. She had to sleep dressed in kimono.

_I might as well get rid of the obi._ She thought. A brief glance at Kenshin told her that he was not looking.

_Not that he will see anything._

The room was dark. The only illuminating source was one candle at the corner.

Kaoru's hands went behind her as she untied her obi. She removed and placed it next to her. Her kimono was now opened from the front. Placing one hand on the fabric in order to prevent the gap from becoming larger, she laid on the futon and covered herself. Her back to Kenshin.

Kenshin who sat motionless was aware of the girl's movements.

A strong feeling always overwhelmed him when he was near her. He wanted her, he wanted to feel her body against his, to feel her lips on his.

His eyes drifted to her sleeping form.

He could take her easily this instant without putting much effort. But then he would be no better than those men he had saved her from.

He will wait. The time will come and then...

…the girl had to be ready.

He turned his head toward the window.

His golden eyes gleamed with untamed, sinful emotion.

Lust.

* * *

"_NO..let me go...please..."_

_Her plea was cut short as he set his mouth on hers. He sealed her voice in her throat with the pressure of his kiss and forced her back against the wall, jamming himself against her._

_Her arms were pinioned above her head by his iron grip. He placed his knee between her legs to restrain her movements. Kaoru tried to scream, but it came in muffled sound as he deepened the kiss. _

_Finally he broke the kiss only to plant more kisses on her jaw and along her throat._

_Kaoru tried to fight him, but her struggle only filled him with an eager need to subjugate. _

"_Be a good girl and submit already" he whispered near her ear "It's useless you know" his voice was mocking, he was amused by the pain he was causing her. _

_His free hand went to the blooded fabric of her kimono, pulling it apart to expose her chest. _

_Her breast bindings were still there covering her breasts from his lustful eyes._

_He released her hands suddenly and placed his hand on her thigh, moving gradually to her backside._

"_No...don't...don't TOUCH ME" she yelled at him as she hit him on his chest with one hand, her right hand had been rendered useless in the last torturing session. She did not know if it was broken or simply strained but she couldn't move it without causing great pain. _

_The silver haired man only smirked at her futile struggling. She did not stand a chance against him; not only because of his strong built body but because he made sure to increase her humiliation by torturing her last night. _

"_You know, I love your voice" Enishi said as he placed soft kisses on her bare shoulder "But I like it more when you scream in pain" _

"_You are sick..." Kaoru replied, tears rolling down her cheeks._

_She felt him smirk against her neck. _

_Enishi kissed her neck softly as would a lover do to his girl._

_Then he bit her. He bit her hard until he felt the metallic taste of her blood._

_Kaoru gasped at the sudden pain. He seized the opportunity by crushing her lips with his mouth. One hand moved to her hair and the other wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer to him leaving no room between their bodies. _

_He tightened his grip on her hair and jerked her head making her cry out in pain. His tongue instinctively moved inside her mouth, tasting and exploring. _

_Kaoru's reaction was to bit his tongue. Hard._

"_Ah!" Enishi groaned in response to the sudden, sharp pain and cursed loudly. Then he glared at her, his eyes full of raw rage. _

_Before Kaoru could react he raised his hand and struck her across the face. The sheer force of the hit sent her tumbling to the ground. _

_Kaoru lied on the hard floor unmoving. Her raven her splayed on the ground with few strands covering her face. She was awake but her body refused to move. Kaoru's mind urged her to move, to fight him but her body was worn out. _

_Kaoru started to cry again with low, plaintive and broken sound. _

_She cannot win against him, he was strong, too strong for her._

_Enishi swore again, then stalked to the broken girl. He took his time reaching her and when he did, he circled around her. _

_Just like a predator do with its prey. _

_His eyes looked so angry but in the same time he was amused. This was the beginning of his revenge. _

_Yes just the beginning._

_His prey lied motionless on her side. He could hear her sobbing, but of course he did not care, he did not pity her at all._

_He grinned maliciously and kicked her hard on the ribs, turning her sprawled body over onto her back by the force of the kick. _

_Initially, Kaoru made no noise because she had no breath. But then she started to cough as she struggled to breathe. _

_Enishi squatted down beside her, looking pleased._

"_That was a little punishment for you misbehavior, but now..." before he finished his sentence he went on top of her and straddle her waist "on with the real punishment"_

_Kaoru shock her head weakly "please..no..don't..I beg you" All her thoughts disappeared as pure panic took over her. _

_She knew that she was pathetic and weak. But she didn't care. Her dignity was lost, yes she had lost many things during her short period of captivity but..._

_Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks._

_She did not want to lose her innocence...her virginity.. not like this._

_However, the only response she got from Enishi was a maniac smirk. His eyes promised her extreme pain._

_Then, with one swift movement he ripped her chest bindings, exposing her full breasts to him._

_His eyes roamed over her naked breast, as he licked his lips._

_Kaoru tried to wiggle her way from under him, but his iron grip on her shoulders and her weak state kept her in place. And when she hit him with her hand, he applied more pressure on her shoulder._

_Panic overwhelmed her when she felt his right hand moving to her breast, squeezing hard. _

_His mouth moved to hers. He kissed her mouth, then down to her neck until he reached her other breast. Kaoru felt him suck and bite her hard nipple, while his hand gave attention to her right breast. _

_Her eyes were fixed on the white ceiling. She tried to be somewhere else, to distract herself. But it was a futile attempt._

_Not only was she disgusted with him, but with herself as well._

_How was she to face her friends? That was if she lived through this._

_How was she to face...she closed her eyes. An image of a handsome red haired man appeared before her._

_Kenshin._

"_Ke...Kenshin...please..save me.." she pleaded with a choked voice._

_Upon hearing those words Enishi stopped. He looked up at her._

_His eyes met her glittering ones._

_Then suddenly, just as he stopped, he started to laugh out loud._

"_You're calling him!" he said through laughter "you think he will save you" it wasn't a question, it was more like a mocking statement. _

_His laughter subsided as he moved his head near her mouth. He did not kiss her but his mouth was too close and their noses were almost touching._

"_He must be looking for you, ne?" he said teasingly "mind filled with what I might do to you. But I'm certain he won't expect ..this" he squeezed her breast savagely "He will be disgusted when he finds out, not only him, all of your pathetic friends" _

_Kaoru shock her head._

"_yes, you will be tainted, no one will want you, you will be hated by all"_

"_no..." Kaoru sobbed. _

_She felt him shift his knee forward toward her most private area. He ripped off her undergarment exposing her fully to him _

_Kaoru was terrified. She knew what was coming so she started to struggle again. _

_He used his knee to part her legs as he settled between them._

"_For your own sake I should hope that Battousai has already used you or else..." he whispered to her "..this will be awfully painful for you" With that he lowered his western style pants and..._

_Thrust deep inside her._

Kaoru screamed.

* * *

Loooong chapter, I know. I had a hard time writing this chap, don't know why though. Maybe because this was not my original plan, I had to omit two scenes from this chap because it it turned out longer than I planned.

And I would like to apologize if it seemed so rush, I'm short of time these days and guess what ...

Today is my birthday and you know what will make great present? Reviews and more reviews

Thanks for reading.


	5. Conflicting Emotions

HELLO everyone. I know, I know you all missed me, but what can I say?? I'm sure we were all busy with our finals. As for me I'm in this awful period where you wait for the results to come out -sigh- anywho here is a new EXTRA-long chapter which I spent too much time writing, but before that some questions need to be answered:

Kao-Misao1728 Thanks for you suggestions, and what a coincidence, two of your suggestions are originally in my fic, well not exactly the same but almost...I must say suggestions are welcomed, however, I can not promise that I will include them because I know exactly where I'm going with this fic and I lay a plan after I finish each chap. But thanks for you suggestions XD

alwyzme Your review made my day :-D and rest assure that ALL your questions will be answered in the next few chapter. To answer one question, Okita will have a BIG role in this fic just wait and see.

Thanks for all those who reviewed, you make me truly, really happy.

Warning: This chapter includes violence and lots of blood...well my favourite :-D

* * *

Chapter 5: Conflicting Emotions

Kaoru screamed.

In less than a second Kenshin sprang to his feet, hand on the hilt of his sword.

His eyes scanned the room for any source of danger.

He found none.

He relaxed, eyes settling on the futon. The girl was tossing in her sleep.

Moving toward her, Kenshin knelt beside the futon.

She was moving restlessly, as if fighting someone. Her breathe came as short gasps and her hair clutched her face because of the sweat.

"No..please don't...stop" she was gripping the futon tightly.

Kenshin narrowed his eyes.

_Nightmares._

"Kenshin...please..help me" He tensed, her voice was low but he heard her clearly.

_She is calling for...my help._

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she kept calling his name over and over again.

He reached out his right hand and touched her shoulder.

Her eyes shot open and she hit his hand, renewing her struggle.

"NO...please stop.." her eyes were wide, fear written all over her face as she looked up at him

Kenshin withdrew his hand first, and then he seized her shoulders shaking her gently.

"Kaoru, It's me Kenshin" he said "I'm here"

She ceased moving upon hearing his name.

"Ken..shin..." She whispered, her eyes softening.

Kenshin helped her to sit and brought her close to his body.

"Yes, It's me" he repeated.

Kaoru clung to him, her whole form was quivering.

"Kenshin, why didn't you help me? I..I waited for you.." she said in a choked voice "..he told me you wouldn't come, but I didn't believe him..I.."

Fresh tears began to flow and sobs shook her form, rendering her unable to speak.

Kenshin wrapped his arms around her body, rocking her gently as she cried. He wanted to comfort her like she did to him few days ago, but it seemed that this was beyond him. He did not understand how he fitted into all this. Something had happened to her sometimes ago and she had been expecting his help, she had waited for _him. _He was not sure how this was possible since he had only met her two weeks ago.

His eyes travelled down to her. He could not see her face, it was buried on his neck. Her sobs had subsided to low whimpering.

"Please Kenshin... don't leave me, don't let him hurt me" he heard her soft voice "stay with me...please" she glanced up at him, her sapphire eyes glistering with tears.

Kenshin couldn't take his eyes off her face, somehow grieve made her more beautiful and suddenly he was more aware of his lust for her.

Kenshin closed his eyes and tightened his hold on her, moving her on his lab. His right hand moved to her raven hair as he pushed her head softly to his chest. Kaoru pressed her self against him, seeking comfort.

"I won't leave you Kaoru" his left hand tightened on her shoulder and he settled his right one on her waist.

Her kimono was gaping, giving him a partial view of her breasts, his gaze lingered there for few moments before travelling back to her face.

Her eyes were closed, and her posture was relaxed.

Kenshin placed his hand on her kimono and moved it back in place.

She trusted him and he didn't want to take advantage of her weakness.

This led him to wonder, How could she trust him? And why had she called for his help? He could hurt her for all she knows.

As the raven haired girl slept in his arms he noticed crimson colour spread on the white clothes around her neck.

* * *

Next morning.

Kaoru stirred in her sleep as she slowly came to her senses. Opening her eyes, she stared at the ceiling.

She was lying in a futon in a unfamiliar room. She sat up and looked around her.

_Yes, Kenshin. This is his room._

But she was alone.

Kaoru sighed and brought her knees to her chest. She placed her chin on her knees hugging them securely.

Last night's events started to play in her mind.

The nightmare.

It felt so real that she almost thought she was back at that place.

Kaoru shuddered at this thought.

_It's alright Kaoru, he is not here, he can't hurt you again._

But there was this strange feeling that told Kaoru that something bad was going to happen. Whenever she brushed it away it always came back.

The door to her left was opened suddenly, causing Kaoru to jump.

Kenshin stepped in the room.

Kaoru stared up at him.

_I didn't even feel him approaching._

Kenshin eyed her briefly before walking to the window.

Silence settled upon them as Kenshin stared outside.

"Ano..Kenshin, thanks for last night" Kaoru broke the silence as she looked at his back.

"It was nothing"

Kaoru rose to her feet, clutching the front of her kimono to prevent exposing her body.

She stood next to him, staring outside the window.

"It seems like a bright day, neh?" she smiled at him.

"Ah"

"Would you like to accompany me tonight to the town?" she asked "I just want to go out for a while"

Silence.

"Kenshin..."

"Last night" he began "last night, you were calling my name, calling for my help, why?"

He turned his head to face her.

Kaoru was astonished, she was taken aback by the question.

"I..." Kaoru had no answer. How could she tell him although he was the the one she was calling, but he wasn't the same person. Nevertheless, she answered with what she truly felt.

"Because I trust you"

Kenshin eyed her sharply "but you don't know me"

Kaoru smiled as she shook her head "you don't need to know the person in order to trust them" she raised her left hand to her heart "you can feel it here" her eyes gazed directly into his.

Kenshin looked at her. This girl was an enigma to him. He didn't know if she was insane or simply naive.

He continue to look at her before he whirled and headed for the door.

Kaoru thought he would ignore her and exit, but he stopped at the door, placing his hand on the edge of the shoji door.

"I'll wait near the gate tonight" he spoke "be quick" he tilted his head slightly toward her

Kaoru smiled "Hai"

Kenshin glanced at her for another moment before leaving.

* * *

The small restaurant was almost empty.

Kenshin and Kaoru sat opposite each other near the window.

Kaoru poured some sake for him, holding the sleeve of her blue kimono.

Kenshin drank it with one gulp.

"Do you come here often, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked as she poured him some more.

"I come here when I want to clear my mind" he replied as he peered at the shallow cup in his hand.

"Or you come here when you want to forget about your victims" Kaoru suggested as she sipped the liquid.

Kenshin narrowed his eyes at her.

"I told you before I'm doing this for a better Kyoto and that's all it matters"

"And what about your sanity?" Kaoru asked "you have to think of yourself, Kenshin."

"My sanity is none of your concern" he snapped, glaring at her.

Kaoru matched his glare "Are you going to kill forever?"

"This is what I do, I must continue till the end"

"Continue till you destroy everything?"

"Before creation comes destruction. This era must be destroyed before creating a new one"

"Killing will not lead to anything"

"I don't kill randomly"

"I know you don't, you just leave it to others to decide for you"

"Stop it Kaoru"

"How do you know you are at the right side?"

"I told you to stop"

"How do you know you are making people happy?" she continued "How.."

"Cut it out" Kenshin reached for her hand, squeezing her wrist painfully "If you don't stop this moment..."

"What? Are you going to kill me?"

Suddenly, just as he grasped her, he released her hand. His eyes widened for a moment.

Kenshin didn't know why, but the thought of hurting her made him feel disgusted with himself.

He stood abruptly and put some money on the table.

"Let's go" he said and started to walk without waiting for her.

Kaoru followed him.

* * *

Just as they were making their way to the inn, rain started to fall.

They were walking beside a long wall, which seemed to stretch forever with only few alleys here and there.

To Kaoru's good fortune, Kenshin had brought two umbrellas. Kaoru had no idea how he knew it was going to rain.

Kenshin did not utter a single word since their departure from the restaurant.

Kaoru felt guilty, she shouldn't have talked like that. He must be mad at her.

"Kenshin" he didn't look at her "I...I didn't mean to insult you, I just..."

Kaoru stopped talking when suddenly Kenshin halted his steps.

Kaoru stopped walking as well, peering into his face.

Although that his face was impassive as always his eyes were sharp and calculating. His mouth was set on a thin line.

Something was wrong.

"Ano Kenshin, What is..." Without any warning, Kenshin pushed her behind him with a force that sent her tumbling to the ground. Her umbrella fled off her hand, rolling on the dirt ground.

Kaoru was trying to get off the wet ground when she heard a sound. Like something was being torn. Then she saw something semi-white on either side of her.

_Kenshin's umbrella. _Kaoru's eyes went wide when she realised that his umbrella were split in half.

She immediately sat and looked up at Kenshin.

His back was to her and she could feel that he was tense. Someone was standing few paces away from them.

Two swords in his hand.

Kenshin did not draw his sword he simply stood there staring at the dark figure.

The first flash of lightning ripped the dark sky. And as if this was a sign the unknown man threw one of his swords at Kenshin with a brute strength that made Kaoru fear for Kenshin's life.

Faster than the lightning Kenshin unsheathed his blade and deflected the blow. The huge figure charged at Kenshin and just when he neared him he threw a long chain at Kenshin effectively wrapping it around his shoulders. The dark man was on the top of the wall now.

Kenshin's eyes flickered momentarily to the man's other sword -the one he deflected- which was vertically embedded on the ground a couple of paces away.

Behind him, Kaoru was about to stand up, to do something, anything, to help Kenshin when all of a sudden the man jumped to deliver the final blow.

"NO KENSHIN" Kaoru screamed.

Thunder roared in the horizon so loud that Kaoru placed her hands on her ears.

Kenshin tightened his grip on the chain and shifted his sword just when the man jumped.

Kenshin's movement was swift, he grabbed the discarded sword and tucked hard at the attacker's chain pulling him toward himself.

And what happened next will remain engraved in Kaoru's memory for a long time.

The blade passed through the man's body symmetrically slicing him in two halves.

Blood poured on Kaoru and the remains of the attacker settled on either side of her.

Kaoru froze in her place, still sitting on the ground.

Kenshin was breathing fast, his posture was bent. Then he turned around, glancing at Kaoru.

Pure terror was written on her features as she stared at him with wide eyes.

She was completely soaked with water and ...

Blood.

He dropped the dead man's sword and walked toward her.

Kenshin was certain that he was the source of her terror. He had just slaughtered a man in front of her. She must be thinking of him as a monster now.

Stooping down next to her, he placed his hand on her shoulder.

She was shivering uncontrollably and her wide eyes never leaving his.

Kenshin thought she wasn't any different from the others, everyone regarded him as a beast which kills with no regrets.

_Why would this girl be any different? _He thought.

However he was completely wrong.

As soon as he placed his hand on her shoulder Kaoru clung to him, her hands curling on the hem of his wet Hakama.

"Oh Kenshin I thought..I thought..he would kill you" her voice was quivering "I was so worried..." She buried her face on his chest, concealing her face from him.

Kenshin was astounded. He stared down at her with wide eyes.

She was not scared _of _him but _for_ him.

He could hear her soft sobs which made his expression soften.

She didn't want him to see her crying.

Kenshin was about to let go of his sword and wrap his arms around her when he heard shouts nearby.

He immediately tighten his hold on the hilt and wrapped his left arm around Kaoru.

He could feel her tensing in his arm, her grip tightening on his clothes.

He gently helped her to her feet and then, just as he turned his head to the other direction a man emerged from the corner of the road.

Kenshin tightened his hold on Kaoru and turned fully to the man. Eyeing him sharply.

The man was wearing blue outfit. Kenshin recognized it immediately.

Shinsen Gumi.

As soon as the man saw the body, or what remained of it, he raised the alarm to his comrades.

"Hey over here!" The man shouted as he was about to draw his sword.

However he didn't have the chance to move his sword half way of its scabbard.

With incredible speed Kenshin let go of Kaoru and appeared right in front of the man, Driving his sword through his throat.

More of Shinsen Gumi were making their ways to him, Kenshin counted a total of six.

Drops of rain spattered over them as sharp as needles.

Kenshin's gaze went to Kaoru.

"Stay right here" he ordered before charging at the soldiers.

Kaoru stood there staring at Kenshin as he aggressively attacked the men with the blue uniform.

She watched as Kenshin raised his sword and blocked the advance of two soldiers who preceded the others.

The shriek of sword upon sword carried across the wet night. Sparks flashed off the blade edges as they slid along each other. His opponent, unaware of Kenshin's strength, made the wrong parry and paid for it with his life. Kenshin leaped over his falling body and engaged the second man, feinted right and slashed open his abdomen. Blood splattered, followed by the man's scream of agony.

All Kaoru could do was watch as Kenshin kills the third man and the fourth before charging at the remaining two. He didn't even give them the opportunity to scream.

He was different from the Kenshin she knew, his attacks, his movements everything about him did not resemble the older Kenshin. The only common factor between them was speed.

She wanted him to stop, to stop killing those men.

Kaoru's gaze was so fixed on the fighting scene that she didn't sense someone approaching behind her.

The last man alive lasted little bit longer than the others, he deflected Kenshin's strike and aimed his blade at his heart. Kenshin blocked his attack and with one strong thrust, drove his sword right through his opponent's lung. He kicked the man and drew out his blade.

"Kenshin" He heard Kaoru's frightened voice.

He span toward her.

She was not alone.

She was held by another member of Shinsen Gumi, his blade was near her throat.

Kenshin took slow steps toward them.

"Don't move" the man warned "I will kill her" his voice was shaky.

He was scared.

Kenshin did not stop his advance.

"I swear...I will kill this woman" the man backed away forcing Kaoru to move with him. He moved his sword closer to Kaoru's bandaged neck making her wince as she felt the blade cut through the bandage.

"What makes you think I will care if you kill her?" Kenshin's cold voice was steady and clear.

Lightning sparked within the clouds, illuminating Kenshin's impassive face and making his golden eyes glow in the dark.

Kaoru stared at him, shocked by his words.

Her captor was becoming more scared "Don't come any closer..I..I will slit her throat"

Kenshin halted few paces from them and pointed his bloody sword at them "I can drive this sword right through her body and into your heart with a single strike"

Thunder roared in the sky louder than before.

Kaoru's eyes were wide with disbelief.

_He doesn't mean it, he doesn't.._..she tried to convince herself. But looking at his indifferent face told her otherwise. He didn't even bother to look at her.

The man behind her was becoming more scared and nervous by each passing moment, his hand was shaking.

Kaoru decided to act.

Just as the man was about to take another step backward she stamped on his foot hard. He yelped in pain and his hold loosen. She elbowed him in the rips. Her captor staggered backward and moved his sword away from her neck, slashing the bandage in the process.

The moment she fell to her knees she felt Kenshin move toward the soldier.

She immediately turned her head toward them "No Kenshin don't kill him!" but it was too late, the man was dead before she finished her sentence.

Kenshin beheaded him with a single slash of his sword.

His head rolled along the wet ground.

Timed seemed to stop, everything was still except for the pouring water which intensified.

Kenshin whipped his weapon in the air to brush off the blood, then he calmly sheathed his sword.

He walked to Kaoru and griped her arm to help to her feet.

"Don't touch me!" Kaoru snapped at him. She got to her feet on her own and started to walk, not bothering to take her umbrella.

Kenshin started behind her.

"Kaoru" he placed his hand on her shoulder. Kaoru brushed it away and hastened her pace.

Kenshin seized her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Kaoru listen to me"

"No, Just leave me alone" she struggled to loosen his grip on her shoulders, but it was in vain. His hold tightened then she felt the hardness of the wall behind her.

Her struggles intensified, but his reaction was to close the gap between their bodies and pin her to the wall. Her hands were on his chest, trapped between their bodies.

Kaoru griped his wet clothes and tried to push him "Why do you do this? You don't care about me, right?" her voice was soft and quivering "Just let me go"

"Why didn't you just kill me along with that man?" she raised her voice "Will this satisfy you? Will it.."

Kenshin silenced her by what he had been wanting to do since he met her.

He kissed her.

Kaoru went rigid as she felt his mouth on hers. Her heart was racing.

His lips were firm on hers but there was a touch of tenderness. It wasn't forced at all.

After few moments she relaxed in his arms as he moved his left hand to her waist.

The rain seethed around them as Kenshin deepened the kiss. He liked the taste of her and he wanted more. He wanted more of her. However, he knew it wasn't the right time nor the place.

So he drew his mouth away and glanced at her.

The lightning struck again giving Kenshin clear picture of the girl in front of him.

"Kaoru I..." he didn't finish what he was going to say because he noticed something on her neck.

The white bandage which she wore constantly was gone off her neck. And he could see what she had been covering all this time.

A cross shaped scar deformed her smooth skin on the left side of her neck. It wasn't a small scar and it was not possible that she had gotten it by accident.

It was deliberately carved onto her skin.

Although it seemed fully healed he can remember two occasions where he saw red spot on the white bandage.

He moved his right hand toward it, but before he could touch the scar Kaoru covered it with her hand.

She bowed her head and shook it. There was a sad look on her face.

His hands moved to her face and cupped it. Making her look at him.

"It's ok Kaoru" he assured her and placed a soft, quick kiss on her lips.

His hand brushed her wet hair away from her face, her ribbon had fallen somewhere and her hair was free, cascading to her back "We have to go now" he said. They stayed longer than he intended and he was sure more of Shinsen Gumi will be coming soon.

Kaoru nodded.

He held her hand and pulled her gently with him. Forgetting about their umbrellas...

Because one question occupied his mind.

Who gave her that scar?

* * *

"Who do you think has done this?"

Holding torches over the bodies of their comrades, Shinsen Gumi members investigated the matter.

Rain had stopped but the clouds were thick in the dark sky.

"It must be the work of Ishin shishi, lots of them" Another said.

"No" a deep voice said "It is the work of one skilful swordsman" He was a tall man with black bony tail and a pair of amber eyes "If it was a group of Ishin shishi, there should be casualties in both sides, and there was no reports of large group moving lately, besides..." he bent down inspecting one half of the deceased shadow assassin "this man is not ours, he must have been sent to finish someone off and I presume his target did all the killing"

"Then he must be very powerful" a soft voice which belonged to a young man added.

"Indeed" Hajime Saito agreed "arrange the removal of the bodies immediately" he ordered one of his men.

"Yes Saito-sama" one soldier said.

The young man moved along the place, stopping at the bodiless head.

Then, a white piece of clothes caught his eyes. Bending down he held the clothes inspecting it.

"What is it, Okita?" asked Saito.

"Its nothing Saito-san, only a bandage" Answered Okita.

Letting go of the bandage, Okita was about to stand when another thing grasped his attention.

A blue ribbon.

He reached it for it and eyed it sharply.

Red spots could be seen on it.

Blood.

Only girls wore ribbons as far as Okita knew, so it meant someone else had been there with the unknown killer and he could not see any female body which indicated that she hadn't been killed.

He tucked the ribbon in the folds of his clothes and straightened up...

No longer pondering over the subject.

* * *

The rain poured as if the sky was crying.

Under the grey sky Kaoru was running on the dirt road which led to the inn.

_Mou I wish I had brought my umbrella._

The weather had been so misleading lately, when she got out this afternoon it was sunny and warm, however just as she started to make her way to the inn the clouds thickened.

She tightened her hold on the bag.

Again she was sent to buy few stuff for the inn. One would think that they were overworking her but in reality she always volunteered to do this job. Escaping from the inn wasn't a chance to be missed.

However, on this day she wished she had declined. Water soaked her from head to toe, and by each passing moment it seemed that the rain increased.

_If only I had Kneshin's ability to foresee the weather. _She mused.

She raised her hand to her face to pushed her hair away from her face. Her raven hair, thoroughly wet, clutches her face.

The inn was still about twenty minutes walk.

She picked up her pace hoping to minimise the time. The road around her was empty.

_Sure Kaoru no sane person will go out in this weath..._

Her thought was cut as she suddenly stumbled and fell to ground.

"aahhh.." she yelped.

The bag went flying off her hand as she impacted with the dirt ground. The materials inside rolled on the ground immediately mixing with the mud.

"No .." Kaoru muttered as she tried to get up.

"Ouch" Kaoru flinched when she applied little pressure on her left foot. Forgetting about the bag she sat up and looked at the cause of her predicament.

Her left sandal was ruined. The string was torn off the wooden sandal, most likely because of her quick pace.

Kaoru sighed.

_Could this day be any worse?_

She reached her hand and touched her left foot. As she felt the lump on her ankle she knew that the answer was yes.

Her ankle was sprained.

Kaoru placed her hand on the muddy ground and tried to stand. However, she fell again just as she placed her left foot on the ground.

_That hurts. _She shut her eyes.

Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself.

She was alone, cold, covered with water and mud, and if that was not enough she couldn't move.

She tilted her head upward toward the raging sky. Droplets of water fell on her face washing the mud away.

Her eyes were still closed when unexpectedly the rain ceased to drop on her face.

Kaoru opened her sapphire eyes only to meet a pair of amused chocolate eyes.

She was so surprised that she did not move nor speak, only kept staring.

"Enjoying the weather, Kaoru-chan?" Came the cheerful voice.

Upon hearing his voice, she snapped out of her dazedness "Okita-san..."

There he was leaning over and holding an umbrella over her head.

Kaoru can not express how happy she was to meet him again.

"What a pleasant...emm" he thought for a moment "...third coincidence" his eyes moved to the fallen groceries, then to her wet figure before settling on her ankle "I can see that you are in a bit of a mess"

"Yah, I sprained my ankle" she glanced at her now useless sandal "and you can see why"

Okita nodded "and you are completely soaked, at this rate you will be sick" he said, looking back at her face "Hold this" he handed her the umbrella.

"No..Okita-san..you will get soaked yourself" she protested.

He only smiled at her and held her left hand "Just hold it Kaoru-chan" he replied as he closed her fingers around the grip of the umbrella.

Kaoru obeyed, looking at him confoundingly.

Okita knelt beside her. Placing one hand under her knees and the other on her shoulders he effortlessly scooped her wet form of the ground.

"No..Okita...what are you doing?!" Kaoru muttered.

"I'm carrying you home" He said simply.

"Home? No I'm fine, please let me down" she tried to be polite.

"No Kaoru-chan, you can not walk and you are drenched" he replied "beside, my home is very near, I will tend your wound and make you something warm"

Kaoru didn't respond. In truth she was tired and very cold.

She shivered involuntarily making Okita tightened his hold on her. Her head was close to his chest and she relinquished the fact the he was dry and warm. But he was slowly becoming damp.

Kaoru didn't know why but she felt that she could trust him.

* * *

The room was so warm.

Kaoru perched beside the fire place which was lit in the middle of the relatively large room.

She was in Okita's main "guest room" as he called it. Behind her was a futon and a large wooden door which overlooked the garden was in front of her. And of coursed it was closed now because the rain hadn't stopped yet.

Her soaked kimono was replaced with white, dry sleeping yukata which belonged to Okita. Her partially wet hair was free from the ribbon.

In her hands was a cup of green tea.

_This really feels good_. She thought as she sipped the warm liquid.

"I hope you are comfortable Kaoru-chan" she heard Okita saying as he entered the room from a small door to her left.

He was also wearing a light-blue sleeping yukata. She had a good view of his muscular chest.

Kaoru averted her eyes, blushing.

"Yes, arigatou Okita-san"

Kaoru was quite nervous. She was alone with a male in the same room wearing only yukata.

_I hope it will stop raining soon. _

"The rain is becoming worse" Okita said as if reading her thoughts.

He moved across the room and sat opposite to her.

"I hope it will stop soon, I don't want to bother you any longer"

"You are not bothering me Kaoru-chan" he responded with a smile "how is your foot?"

"It's much better" Kaoru answered, patting her swollen foot "the pain is gone"

"Glad to hear that" he answered eyeing her newly bandaged neck.

He saw what was under it.

_Flashback_

"_It is done now" Okita said "try not to move it much"_

"_Arigatou" Kaoru said._

_Okita glanced at her neck "you should change this bandage as well, It's damp"_

_The bandage around her neck was loose now._

"_Oh that" Kaoru hesitated for a minute then raised her hands to her neck and started to unwrap the white clothes, revealing the cross shaped scar._

_Okita, who was busy preparing another bandage, stopped what he was doing at the sight of the scar. _

"_Kaoru this is..." Kaoru was certain that he was surprised to see such wound on her, although he was trying not to show it._

_Her right hand rose to the wound, gently caressing it. She avoided his questioning eyes._

"_This is my curse"_

Okita was in deep thought wondering what possibly caused her that wound, when Kaoru spoke.

"So Okita-san, you live alone?" she said looking at the fire place.

"Yes, for three years I have been living by myself" he replied.

"You must get lonely, the house is too big for a single person" true, the house was bigger than her dojo with a huge beautiful garden that made her wonder what Okita did for living.

"My parents died 3 years ago" he said.

Kaoru turned her head toward him, sadness written all over her face "I'm sorry"

Okita shook his head "don't be"

Silence settle over the place as both stared at the flame.

"They were killed one night" Okita broke the silence "the killer is still unidentified but many believe it was an attempt of robbery" he paused "but I don't" there was a dark tone in his usually soft voice.

"Okita.." Kaoru started.

"Their valuables were with them when their bodies were found. It was the work of a shadow assassin" he looked directly into her eyes when he said the last sentence.

He kept his intense stare for a long time that Kaoru felt uncomfortable. She sensed anger and bitterness.

After what seemed like forever to Kaoru, he averted his gaze. Staring back at the fire.

"You see, my father was a politician and had a strong influence over the country" he continued "Japan is in a mess now, shadow assassins roam its street killing who ever opposes their beliefs. That's why order need to be restored and I believe the first step toward peace is to rid this country of those assassins."

Kaoru's thoughts travelled to Kenshin. He was a shadow assassin, trying to help the people in his own way. Both of them had the same message but their means are different.

Kaoru couldn't help but to wonder what kind of life Okita was leading in the Meji era. He must be living peacefully in Kyoto with a wife and possibly kids.

Her thoughts were interrupted when suddenly Okita began to cough. A shuddering series of coughs that seemed to wrench his body.

Kaoru immediately placed her cup on the floor and went to him, wincing as she put her weight on the injured foot. Ignoring the pain, she stooped next to him and placed her hand on his back.

"Okita-san, are you ok?" she was really worried and did not know what to do so she made circle motions on his back hoping to ease the cough. Then she spotted a cup of water near the fire place and held it to him.

"Okita-san drink this" she raised the cup to his mouth. Okita gladly accept it and began to drink.

The coughing eased away but Kaoru did not leave his side.

He was breathing hard now but it was becoming normal.

Okita looked at her and smile "Arigatou Kaoru-chan" but Kaoru did not smile she gazed at him, eyes filled with sadness and guilt.

"I'm sorry Okita" she apologized, bowing her head and placing her hands on her lab "It's all my fault if you did not help me today...you wouldn't get sick.." her hands clutches the fabric of her yakuta.

_Look at what you've done Kaoru, not only you are intruding in his house but you caused the man to be sick. _Kaoru thought, biting her lower lip.

Then she felt a warm hand on hers. She raised her head and glanced at the brown haired man.

"Don't blame yourself Kaoru-chan, I can assure you it's not your fault" his smile was warm and assuring.

"But..."

"No buts" Okita shook his head "beside I helped you on my own will" he added before squeezing her hand gently "and Now.." he said as he stood "is time to sleep, you look tired Kaoru-chan"

"I'm fine, just need some sleep" Kaoru responded.

Okita helped her to her feet and led her to the futon.

Kaoru laid on futon and Okita pulled the cover over her.

"If you need anything I will be in the room next to this"

Kaoru did not say anything, only nodded.

"Goodnight Kaoru-chan"

"Goodnight"

* * *

Back to the inn.

"The girl has not returned yet" Iizuka spoke to Katsura "and, well, it's past midnight"

Katsura did not reply, contemplating his words.

The constant dropping of rain could be heard from the room in which they gathered.

"Judging from the weather many reasons could contribute to her absence" Katsura said after few moments "what do you think Himura-san?"

Sitting silently on the other side of Katsura, opposite to Iizuka, was Kenshin, who appeared to be in deep thought.

"..."

"Come on Himura she must have told you if she was going to be late" Iizuka grinned "after all lately you..." a sharp glare from the assassin made the words die in his throat

Iizuka raised his hands "calm down, I meant nothing"

"We haven't seen anything from the girl to make us suspect her" Said Katsura.

"But lately you ordered to stop watching her, so we are unaware of her recent activities" Iizuka replied "besides, the latest incident arouses suspicious. You know the assassin who targeted Himura two days ago"

Katsura sighed "true, we can not overlook what happened, definitely there is a spy among us"

"And the girl is the main candidate for this role" Iizuka added carelessly.

"No" both men whipped their heads toward the source of the voice.

Kenshin spoke for the first time in this conversation.

"No" he repeated "she isn't a spy"

Katsura narrowed his eyes "How can you be so sure Himura-san?"

"Because she was nearly killed during the fight"

"That could be only a small play to delude you, this does not erase the possibility of being a spy " Iizuka shrugged "and if she wasn't a spy, I can only think of one other excuse for her absence tonight" he smirked " she could be a common whore on duty tonight, she is a pretty little thi...ahhh" his joke was not completed because Kenshin angrily reached his hand over the table and grasped him from his clothes, banging his head on the table.

Kenshin kept a firm hold on the back of Iizuka's neck, pinning him to the table.

"Next time you speak about Kaoru, I advise you to think and think hard before uttering a single word" he threatened, amber eyes glowing and his hands were on the hilt of his sword.

"I'm sorry...I did not mean to...ahhh" Kenshin cut his pathetic voice by applying more pressure to his neck.

Kenshin kept holding him firmly.

"Himura" that was Katsura speaking.

Kenshin looked at Katsura's serious face, then back at Iizuka before releasing him.

Rising to his feet, Kenshin bowed briefly to Katsura.

"I'm sorry Katsura-san" that was all he said before exiting the room.

Iizuka raised his head slowly, swearing as he put his hand on his bruising forehead.

Katsura stood as well and made his way to the door.

"you should watch what you say in front of Himura-san" he said simply.

"How am I supposed to know that this would anger him?" he protested.

Katsura ignored him and left the room.

Iizuka kept swearing and massaging his forehead. But when Katsura left his mouth curved upward.

He smirked maliciously.

_I finally found it...Battousai.

* * *

_

Kenshin crossed the yard without caring that he was becoming soaked in the rain.

Although his face was impassive, he was having an inner conflict.

_What is she doing to me?_

Kenshin isn't the type who loses his temper so easily in front of anyone. But when Iizuka spoke badly about Kaoru he found himself unable to restrain his anger.

He stopped at the gate.

What he wanted was to go out and search for her. However, where would he start? She could be anywhere.

_What if she was hurt?_

Kenshin shook his head why would he care?

He whirled around and headed toward the main building.

_I don't care. _He told himself. He only wanted her for pleasure, right?

But that night he could not sleep at all.

* * *

Next morning.

Kaoru and Okita were walking together.

"Okita-san, you don't have to walk me to the inn" Kaoru said "See, I can walk by myself"

Okita shook his head "I'm just making sure you arrive safely, Kaoru-chan"

Kaoru sighed "you are so stubborn"

He only smiled at her.

Rain had stopped and the day was bright.

Okita had insisted on accompanying her, and Kaoru tried everything to convince him otherwise.

Last time she had lied about the inn's name. She hoped that he wouldn't notice.

Upon arriving at the inn, Kaoru noticed that the gate was opened.

They stopped by the gate.

Kaoru turned to face Okita, her back to the open gate.

"I wish I could invite you in, but I'm sure the landlady is quite mad at my absence"

Okita shrugged "never mind Kaoru-chan, I understand"

Kaoru smiled at him "Thank you for everything Okita-san"

Okita did not say anything first, he only reached for her hands and held them in his. His eyes never leaving hers.

"I want to see you again, Kaoru" he said.

"Okita...I..I don't know if.." she muttered nervously, before Okita leaned closer to her.

His face was so close to hers.

"Okita-sa.."

_He's going to kiss me. _Her heart began to beat fast.

But he didn't.

Just as his mouth neared hers, he stopped, looking past her.

"Kaoru-chan, your friend is here" Okita smiled as he straightened his posture, still holding her hands.

Kaoru turned her head toward the inn.

There, just few paces away from the open gate stood Kenshin.

And he didn't look so happy.

* * *

There you go, I hope that you liked this chapter.

I want to bring your attention about someting. Okitas hair, I have noticed yesterday while I was watching an AMV that in the OVAs his hair is black, but what I remember is that he had a dark brown hair in the movie XD lol I like brown hair more so i will keep imagining like that, but its up to you how you picture him.

Summer break is here so hopefully i will update more often now.

Finally, please review :-D

Byebye for now.


	6. Forgiven

Hey, another chap for ya. Notes as usual:

- I must say that in this chap I have ruined the history of Japan XD but it is necessary for the plot, I will comment on what I have changed at the end of this chap because I don't want to spoil anything for ya.

- And someone flamed me for my grammar, you could at least be nicer in delivering your point, I'm aware of my weak grammar but I'm trying hard to improve it. Again I'm not a native English speaker, I'm prone to mistakes so don't bite the head off. But thanks for increasing the number of reviews lol. and just for the record stories are not always written in past tense, I'm currently reading a novel (Handmaid's tale) which written wholly in the present tense.

- Thanks for the wonderful reviewers. Alwayzme  your long reviews are not bothering me at all, on the contrary I love them!! but I can not answer all your questions otherwise i will spoil MANY things for you. but thanks for your reviews.

- Warning: Adult theme, well it's not too graphic but it's emmm...suggestive.

- Finally please give Kenshin a chance in this chap!!

* * *

Chapter 6: Forgiven

Kenshin narrowed his eyes at the scene before him, and fixed them upon the strange male. Rage flowed through his veins as he noticed his hands holding Kaoru's.

"Ken.."

"You" Kenshin said eyeing Okita "Take your hand off her this moment"

A small smile graced Okita's mouth "Well, Kaoru-chan herself is not complaining. Why should I listen to you?"

Kenshin's angry glare did not quiver. His reply was to move his hand to the hilt of his sword.

Okita's smile did not leave his face "I see" he released Kaoru's hands and made his way to Kenshin.

"No" Kaoru walked in the middle of them, limping slightly "you will not fight" She turned her head to the red haired assassin "just drop it Kenshin, Okita was just being polite, he helped me yesterday"

"Move" despite his cold voice, anger was obvious in his eyes. The look that Kenshin shot her chilled her, but she held her ground.

"No, you will..." Kaoru trailed when Okita placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Kaoru-chan, It's alright" Kaoru noticed that he seemed amused by all this.

"But..." Okita pushed her gently to the side. Facing Kenshin, he unsheathed his sword.

Kaoru was worried about Okita. After all she was aware of Kenshin's strength and talent, and although Okita carried a sword whenever she saw him, it made her wonder whether his skills were enough to match Kenshin's.

Her eyes moved to Kenshin's face. He has a dark look in his golden eyes, they were filled with anger, however underneath she glimpsed an emotion which ran deeper.

_Jealousy._

Before she could ponder over the subject any further, the fight started.

Okita was the one who charged.

There is nothing delicate about sword fighting, though there is skill. The skill lies in deception and strength. The former means to persuade the opponent that a blow will come from the left and, when he guards that side, striking from the right, though most sword fights are not won by such skill, but by brute strength.

However, Okita did not count on deception nor strength. His sword seemed lighter and slimmer than Kenshin's. He had sacrificed weight for speed.

And indeed he was fast.

Kenshin realised that as Okita attacked. Instead of sweeping the blade in great curve, Okita lunged with it, trying to drive its point through the muscle of his right arm.

Kenshin dodged. He moved just as Okita whipped the stab towards his arm.

Kenshin kept his gaze fixed on Okita's calm brown eyes. His opponent hefted the sword in his right hand, flicked it forward to touch Kenshin's blade, then he swung.

Kenshin parried easily. Okita was fighting seriously, but Kenshin noticed that he was also judging him as he edged forward and swung blow after blow. It was as if his intentions were to measure the extent of Kenshin's strength.

Kaoru's attention was directed solely on the battle. She was astounded at Okita's strength, he was handling the sword as naturally as a painter would handle his brush. He was so fast that Kaoru started to fear for Kenshin's life. But looking at Kenshin eased her fear slightly. Although his eyes were sharp and calculating, His demeanour was calm.

Her gaze travelled to Okita as he dodged one of Kenshin's strikes. His sword edged toward the lunge, then he whipped back at Kenshin as he sidestepped. Kenshin made the same quick sidestep, so that each of them missed. Instead they clashed, chest to chest. They stayed like that for a minute before Okita moved his sword arm apart and looked quizzically at Kenshin as if to suggest that they agree to break apart. Kenshin nodded, and both stepped backwards.

They drew back six or seven paces, then Okita skipped forward. As fast on his feet as the lightning, and cut at Kenshin fast. Kenshin's blade met the cut hard and he saw Okita draw back with a flinch.

They stepped away from each other again, their breathes were loud gasps of air. Okita was about to lunge when he stopped abruptly and started to cough. Falling on his knees.

"Okita!" Kaoru called out his name as she limped toward him. But before she reached his side Kenshin gripped her upper arm.

"Don't" his golden eyes were shining with anger and rage.

"Release me, Kenshin" Kaoru tried to pry her arm away "can't you see he's sick"

"I'm...fine, Kaoru" she heard Okita's voice and turned her head toward him. He stood slowly, using the sword to support his weight "you are good" he said to Kenshin with a smile, and Kaoru noticed blood trickled from the corner of his mouth "but this fight is done for today, though It's not over"

"Okita..." Kaoru began.

He smiled at her "Sorry if I caused you any trouble Kaoru-chan" He sheathed his sword "I shall see you again" he said as he turned toward the gate.

"No, you won't" Kenshin dark voice echoed through the bright day.

Okita halted his steps and tilted his head side way, amused "that is not for you to decide"

With that, he left.

Kenshin sheathed his sword, and before Kaoru could give him a piece of her mind he seized her by her upper arms, shaking her.

"You were with him all night?" he hissed angrily, his eyes were dangerous.

"I.." the bone-chilling glare he trained on her was enough to make shiver "yes I was" Kaoru said stubbornly after a moment.

_Who does he think he is? Questioning me._

Kenshin's calloused fingers dug into her arms, as he tightened his hold "you spent the night with him, where did you both sleep? In a common whore house?" he was practically shouting now.

Kaoru's eyes were wide with disbelief "you..how could you..?" hurt written all over her face as she bit her lower lip.

Kenshin ignored the hurt look which was apparent in her blue eyes. Anger blinded him "Maybe Iizuka was right, you are nothing but a whore"

Slap.

Kaoru stared at him, tears trickling down her cheeks. She did not know how but suddenly she managed to pull her right arm free from his firm grasp and slap him.

Kenshin released her and touched his cheek. His eyes were like fire, burning with pure rage.

"Why Kenshin...why?" her voice was broken, tears glazed her eyes which were full of pain and grieve. His words hurt so much that her heart ached.

Not waiting for an answer she limped toward the main building. But just as she limped past him, his fingers cupped her wrist painfully, pulling her toward his body.

"This," he whispered dangerously "will not go unpunished" with that, he released her hand abruptly.

* * *

Sleep did not come to Kaoru that night. She kept tossing and moving, trying to find a comfortable position.

_He will be disgusted when he finds out_

_You are tainted, no one will want you now_

_You are nothing but a whore_

Her hands flew to her ears, covering them, as she curled herself into a ball under the blanket. She tried to ignore the voices inside her head, but they kept becoming louder and louder.

_No_

She wanted to scream, to drive away those words, however, the room in which she slept, was a large one, so she shared it with other two women. The last thing she wanted was to scare those poor women, who work hard everyday.

Kaoru bit her lower lip. Pain gripped her heart and her chest tightened at the thought of Kenshin's words. She tried to convince herself that his words meant nothing, that _he_ meant nothing to her. But it was in vain. She cared for him. Even after his cruel words she still cared.

Nevertheless, she felt, for the first time in two weeks, that she wanted to return to the Meji era, to her friends...

To _her_ Kenshin.

* * *

Next day.

Kaoru inwardly cursed her bad luck as she smiled at one of Ishin shinshi members and served his food.

Of all the days, today was her turn to help serving lunch to them. In any other day she wouldn't mind it, some were really nice and chatty. But her plan to avoid Kenshin in the next few days came crashing down on her.

The room buzzed with chattering and laughter. Her partner was chatting happily to other members of Ishin shinshi.

Kaoru felt rather than saw Kenshin's intense stare on her. Currently there was three men between her and him. She hoped that the food would run out by the time she reached him, so the other woman would serve him.

Kenshin's eyes did not leave Kaoru for a minute. He watched as she smiled and chatted with one man, he watched as her small, delicate hand reached out to pass him his meal, as her body bent to fill the plate of another. He was conscious of her attempt to delay their encounter as long as possible.

The corner of his mouth curved upward slightly. Was she scared of him?

His eyes travelled over her figure. She was wearing a yellow kimono, which suited her perfectly. Her midnight raven hair was pulled on her usual ponytail by a light-purple ribbon. Kenshin was aware of the stares which other men trained on her, was aware of their whispers as they eyed her body. She was beautiful and young, possibly the youngest among the women. She wears her hair differently, she behaves differently. Her sapphire eyes were captivating. Those qualities made her the centre of attention.

And he hated it.

The problem was that _she _was not aware of their intentions. She naively thought they were just being friendly with her.

There was nothing more he wanted than driving his sword through their eyes to stop them from eyeing her the way they were doing now. She was his to see, his to touch and his to possess.

Yes she belonged to him.

Kenshin did not know if she was only a whim to him, if she was only something to fulfil his needs and then to be discarded and forgotten.

What he knew that the moment she comforted him near the well, he started to want her. Her feelings and attitude toward him puzzled him. It was obvious that she cared about him, that she acted differently with him. He wanted to know the reason behind that.

Either way, her actions made him want her more, all of her, body and soul.

And soon, he will make sure this is known to all, specially her.

She was now serving the man next to him.

"Ah, Kamiya-san you have the most dazzling eyes I've ever seen" the man, which Kenshin did not bother to remember his name, said.

"Thank you," Kaoru smiled as she handed him his plate "My mother's eyes were the same colour"

"Then you mother must be beautiful just like you"

"Yes she was very beautiful" Kaoru agreed.

"Say Kamiya-san" he continued "Today is my day off, do you..."

"I don't have all day"

Both Kaoru and the man whipped their head toward the source of the cold voice.

Kenshin.

"I said" Kenshin repeated "I don't have all day, so be quick" he eyed Kaoru.

Kaoru smiled apologetically at the man before moving in front of Kenshin.

Kenshin's amber eyes scrutinized her face as she filled his dish. Her head was bowed slightly, avoiding his eyes. But when she handed him his food, their eyes met momentarily.

Kenshin saw the hurt in her eyes. On the other hand, Kaoru glimpsed mixture of emotions in his. Anger, rage, again jealousy and something else. Something she did not understand.

His fingers brushed against hers briefly but Kaoru withdrew her hand immediately. She stood up without looking at him.

He was the last to serve.

Kenshin eyed her as she left. His sharp eyes did not miss the apparent confusion she felt when their eyes met.

Again, he gave a lopsided little grin.

* * *

Kaoru was walking quietly as she made her way toward the back yard of the inn.

_The landlady will kill me._

Kaoru stepped outside in the cold night. The half moon shone brightly in the dark sky.

Kaoru sighed in relief.

_My life will be spared, it hasn't rain yet. _She joked to herself.

The landlady had asked Kaoru politely to move the clothes inside the inn, because earlier in the day, black clouds covered the sky.

And Kaoru, mind occupied with other things, had simply forgotten.

Kaoru shivered as the night's breeze riffled her hair and lifted her green shawl, which she had hastily dropped over her shoulders. She only remembered the task when she was about to sleep, so under the shawl, only a thin sleeping yukata covered her body.

Kaoru stopped near the clothes-hanger and placed the basket on the ground. She reached her hands and started to remove the clothes one by one. Kaoru scowled.

_Mou, even at my dojo I never used to do these things._

Her frown turned into a sad smile.

_Yes, Kenshin was always there, taking simple pleasure while doing those chores._

Kaoru wondered if he was still looking for her or thinking about her.

She bent down and folded the garment into the basket. Her raven hair was down and kept getting on the way as she stooped down.

She pushed a strand behind her ear, concentrating on the task at hand.

Then she stopped abruptly.

Someone was there.

In the lull of wind, she had sensed some movement behind her. So, slowly she turned her head to the side.

There was no one.

Kaoru straightened from her crouching position, her eyes scanned her surroundings.

"Who's there?" she asked nervously.

Silence.

_You are only imagining things Kaoru, just get this job done and go to sleep._

Kaoru sighed and turned again to the basket.

Then she yelped in surprise.

Kaoru placed her hand over her mouth and stumbled backward. But she somehow managed to keep her balance.

There, just few paces away from the basket stood Kenshin.

Kaoru stared at him in bewilderment. _What is he doing here?_

Kenshin took one step toward her. Instinctively, Kaoru took one back.

"What do you want Kenshin?" Kaoru asked defiantly. But in reality she was scared. The way his eyes roamed over her body sent shiver up her spine. She wrapped her arm around herself.

Kenshin ignored her question as he took another step closer to her shaking form, then another and another.

Kaoru stepped backwards matching his own steps "Kenshin, what do you.." Kaoru stopped herself as her back hit a tree "..want" Kaoru blinked, Kenshin had disappeared.

Suddenly he appeared right in front of her, mere few inches separated them.

Kaoru's breath hitched in her throat as his long fingers curled around her neck, backing her forcefully onto the tree.

"I want you" he hissed, placing his other hand on the trunk beside her head.

"Kenshin what are..." her voice was trembling.

Kaoru thought he would not hurt her, after all he was still Kenshin. She thought she could handle him. However, one look into his wild golden eyes told her otherwise.

"Yes Kaoru" he whispered as he leaned toward her, letting his lips brush against her ear "I want you, I want to possess you. You belong to me"

Kaoru's eyes were wide. He wanted _her. _Different emotions surged through her mind. Anger was the main one.

"I belong to no one"

His calloused fingers tightened around her jugular, immediately her anger was replaced by fear.

_Would he hurt me?_

Kaoru's hand went to his fingers trying to pry them away "Ken..shin...you're hurting me"

At all of a sudden, he withdraw his hand and seized her painfully by her shoulders turning her so that her back was to him. He twisted her right hand behind her back and pressed her against the trunk with his body. Her shawl slid off her shoulders.

Kaoru bit her lip to stop herself from screaming in pain.

"You remember Kaoru" his voice was low "I told you, you will not go unpunished"

"What..what are you going to do me?" Kaoru's voice was fearful.

She felt him smirk behind her.

"Are you scared Kaoru?"

She did not answer.

"Aaahh.." Kaoru cried out as he applied more pressure to her twisted arm.

"Answer me" this girl was driving him crazy. He never felt the why he was feeling now. Being so close to her made him lose himself to...

Lust.

His left hand travelled to her neck, he grasped the white bandage and ripped it off her neck.

"No!" Kaoru gasped, starting to struggle.

Kenshin ignored her as his left hand sneaked around her waist, bringing her lower half closer to his.

Kaoru went still in his arm as she felt something hard pressing against her backside.

"No please..Kenshin.." she began to tremble uncontrollably. She clenched her eyes shut, in which tears squeezed from.

_Not again please. _

Her plea went unnoticed by the assassin as he Kissed her neck. He could feel her shaking against his body but, he wanted her, he wanted her right here, right now.

Lust overwhelmed him.

Kenshin closed his eyes as he began to kiss her neck and sucked at her scarred skin. His hands travelled over her body, exploring.

Her scent was intoxicating.

_Jasmine_

Then he felt a metallic taste in his mouth. He pulled away slightly and glanced at the her neck.

His eyes went wide.

Blood flew from the wound and trickled down her neck.

He released her hand and backed away. His eyes never leaving her bloody wound. Then, he lifted his own hand and touched his lips. When he stared down at it there was blood on his fingers.

Kaoru's blood.

He raised his other hand and for a moment he saw them covered in blood...her blood. He blinked rapidly.

There was no blood.

His eyes darted to the broken girl near the tree. She slid down the trunk, crying softly. Her hands were wrapped around her body, as sobs racked her form.

Suddenly, she seemed so vulnerable and fragile. It is as even the slightest, gentle touch would break her, if he hadn't done so already.

He took one step toward her, then stopped clenching his hands tightly.

"Kaoru"

No reply.

He clenched his teeth and bowed his head.

"Kaoru" his voice was a mere whisper "I'm sorry"

He walked away from her.

He didn't want to stay, the longer he stayed the more he felt disgusted with himself.

* * *

Kaoru lied on her futon, one hand covering her eyes and the other rested on her stomach. She was fully dressed, her raven hair sprawled around her.

The sun had not set yet, but she retired early to her room. Two women were with her in the room, talking randomly.

It has been three days since that incident, three days since she last talked to Kenshin, three days since he almost rap...

Kaoru clenched her fists. She did not want to think about it. But no matter how hard she tried to push it away, the pain was still there.

_Kaoru I'm sorry_.

He did apologize back then. She heard him. Nonetheless, she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive him.

Kenshin avoided her as well, he didn't show up during food serving for the last three days.

Kaoru wondered if he was eating at all.

_Cut it out Kaoru, he hurt you, you shouldn't worry about him._

Kaoru heaved a sigh.

She saw him once talking to Katsura in the yard, she did not know if he saw her or not.

"I wish I could go" she heard one of the women "but I'm on duty to serve dinner today"

"I have plenty of work undone" the other said "I don't think the landlady will allow me to go to the festival either"

_So there is a festival today._ Kaoru thought.

"I remember last year's Gion festival" one of then continued "the paper lanterns illuminated the whole Kyoto"

_Gion festival?_ Kaoru heard of this festival somewhere. It wasn't held in Tokyo or else she would have remembered it. But this festival is...

Kaoru shot out off the futon and turned to the women, startling them.

"Today is Gion festival?" she questioned urgently.

Both of the women blinked before one answered "Yes Kaoru-chan, today is the first day of the festival"

Kaoru cursed under her breathe. _How could I have forgotten about it?_

She stood to her feet "Where is Katsura-san?" she asked.

"We're not sure, but I heard he will go somewhere tonight, but what do..."

Kaoru did not wait for her to finish, she ran out of the room not bothering to tie her hair.

* * *

Kaoru was running in the corridor when she came upon the landlady "Ayami-san, do you knowwhere is Katsura-san? It's urgent"

"Calm down Kaoru-chan, is everything ok?"

"Please, I will explain later"

The landlady sighed "He is in the main building, with Iizuka"

"Thank you" Kaoru headed for the other direction, but before she disappeared behind the corner the landlady called her.

"Kaoru-chan"

Kaoru stopped turning to her, one hand on the wall.

"Don't get yourself into trouble, dear"

Kaoru smiled weakly and nodded "I will be fine"

* * *

"Let me in I need to talk to Katsura-san NOW"

Katsura and Iizuka were talking when they heard the commotion outside.

Katsura rose to his feet and went to the door, sliding it open.

He saw one man holding the dishevelled Kaoru by her arm.

"What is this all about it?" he questioned impatiently. Iizuka came behind him.

"Sorry Katsura-sama, this girl is demanding to meet you right now" the guard answered.

"Katsura-san you have to hear me, it's important" Kaoru said.

"Release her" Katsura ordered "come Kamiya-san" he extended one hand to her.

The guard released Kaoru and she went to Katsura. He lead her inside placing his hand on her back.

The door was closed behind them.

* * *

Inside, Katsura ushered Kaoru to sit as he and Iizuka took their usual places around the low table.

But Kaoru did not waste any moment "Kyoto will be burned today"

Iizuka eyes were wide.

Katsura narrowed his eyes at her "How did you know abo.."

"I'm not done" Kaoru interrupted "Shinsen Gumi will attack today, they will attack the inn, you have to be ready"

Both of the men were astonished.

"Girl don't just throw things out of your head" Iizuka warned. _How did she know?_

"I'm not lying" Kaoru glared at him, then she turned to Katsura "please Katsura-san, you have to believe me, I'm telling the truth. And Kyoto, you have to do something about it, many people.."

"I have talked to Miyabe about it, he said Kyoto will be safe"

"You have to do something more, I don't know what, you have to prevent it"

Katsura was at loss for words, this girl wasn't an ordinary young girl. Her knowledge arouse suspicion.

"Katsura you shouldn't just believe her words" Iizuka protested "she might be setting us up"

Kaoru glowered at him "don't you dare to accuse me" she snapped "I'm trying to help you here, and believe me it's not for your sake"

"Listen you..." Iizuka rose to his feet but Katsura raised his hand.

"Enough Iizuka" he directed his attention to Kaoru "Kamiya-san how did you obtain all this.."

"Kenshin" Kaoru's eyes scanned the large room "Where is Kenshin?" she asked anxiously.

"Himura-san is on duty tonight"

"I have to warn him, Shinsen Gumi will be everywhere tonight" she said worriedly "where is he?"

Katsura hesitated for a moment "He can be anywhere, his mission supposed to be after sunset"

"I need to find him" Kaoru said "please Katsura-san tell me where is he supposed to...to kill?"

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't"

"Please for Kenshin's sake tell me" Kaoru pleaded.

Katsura regarded her carefully, she was genuinely worried about Kenshin, but she could ruin Kenshin's job or distract him. On the other hand, if her word were true this could be a small reward for her help.

"Kyoto bridge, the one in town"

Kaoru smiled, bowing politely to express her gratefulness "arigatou Katsura-san"

With that she left the room.

Katsura stared behind her.

"This girl" he said absent mindedly "this girl could really make a difference"

Unknown to him, Iizuka was seething with anger.

* * *

Kaoru ran as fast as her feet would allow. It was getting darker now but she was desperate to find Kenshin. Kenshin's words, the older Kenshin, ran through her mind. She remembered him telling them about what happened to Kyoto and Ishin Shishi the night of Gion festival. This is is the night when Shinsen Gumi defeated Ishin Shishi.

_I have to warn Kenshin._

She slowed down her pace when she reached the centre. Shinsen Gumi were everywhere. To anyone, it appeared that they were only patrolling. But Kaoru knew their true objective.

She walked past a group of three. They stopped talking as she approached. However they let her walk without interfering.

_They must think I'm heading for the festival._

As soon as she rounded the corner and into an alley, she began to run again. She was nearing the bridge.

When she emerged from the dark alley, another group of Shinsen Gumi were there. This time they saw her running.

"Hey girl" one of them called.

Kaoru stared at them.

_What should I do? Should I run? No, no I should act normally._

Three men detached from the group and approached her

"What are you doing here?" the one who seemed in charged asked.

"I..I'm heading to the centre of town for the celebration" Kaoru tried to sound calm.

"Why were you running?" he questioned as he eyed her from head to toe, probably wondering about her state of disarray.

"I'm late, someone is waiting for me"

The man narrowed his eyes at her "fine, you may go"

Kaoru nodded.

_That was easy...so easy..._

She started to walk again. But...

She did a mistake.

"Girl" the same man called.

Kaoru stopped.

"The town" he said slowly as he unsheathed his sword "is in the other direction"

Kaoru stood still. Fear tightened her muscles and tensed her spine.

She was heading toward the bridge which was situated opposite to the centre of town. This was a big mistake. They saw through her lie.

"Who are you? And what is you purpose here?" he asked as he stepped slowly toward her, a glint of the setting sun hit the blade.

Kaoru took few steps backward.

"There is nowhere to run" and he was right, Kaoru was aware of the remaining soldiers moving toward her.

_What should I do? _

"If you don't want to speak" the man said, he was close now "then I must obliterate any source of suspicion, so DIE" he raised his sword and plunge.

Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head.

_This is it._

"ahhhh" she heard a scream which wasn't her own.

She opened one eye.

The man who was supposed to kill her laid motionless on the ground at her feet.

Kaoru heard the other men screaming. She glanced around and saw them one by one falling dead. A crimson blur was moving between them. He was so fast.

_Kenshin._

Kenshin slashed his blade across the last man's abdomen, disembowelling him. The man screamed and fell to the ground, head first. Without hesitation Kenshin drove his sword through his neck silencing him immediately.

Kenshin whipped his sword in the air and sheathed it.

He turned to face Kaoru.

No words were exchanged. They stood silently staring at each other.

Kaoru did not know how to react, everything she wanted to say fled off her mind. Words escaped her. It is only when Kenshin averted his gaze that she spoke.

"Kenshin" she took one step forward.

Kenshin looked at her.

Shame.

This was what Kaoru saw in his amber eyes. Shame and guilt filled them, dimming their natural radiance.

"What are you doing here Kaoru?"

_Yes Kaoru you are supposed to warn him, this is your priority._

"I came to warn you" Kaoru said as she walked toward him "Kyoto will be burned tonight, that's why Shinsen Gumi are everywhere and the inn, they will attack this night"

Kenshin stared at her in disbelief "Katsura, Katsura can do something about it" he replied "I have to tell him this moment"

"I already spoke to him, he is the one who told me your whereabouts"

Kenshin did not speak, he only stared at her.

"Why did you come, Kaoru?" he questioned softly, he knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from her.

Kaoru hesitated for a moment "I...I wanted to warn you, I was worried" she looked away, after what happened she didn't know how to act, how to behave with Kenshin.

Kenshin clenched his hands. After that night, after what he almost did to her. She still cared, she still acted kindly toward him. Guilt gripped his heart as he bowed his head.

Kaoru glanced at him again "Kenshin..." his bangs covered his eyes, obscuring her view. She knew he was feeling guilty. Her heart sank at the sight of his bowed head and clenched fists.

She stepped closer to him.

"Kenshin..." just as she reached her hand to him Kenshin took hold of her wrist and pulled her to his chest. His other arm encircled her waist.

Kaoru went still in his arms, being close to him reminded her of that night.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru" he whispered "I did not mean to hurt you" his head was buried in her raven hair. After hearing his words she relaxed.

Kaoru knew that it was hard for him to apologize, he was a proud man. Nevertheless, he was aware of his mistake.

For that Kaoru forgave him.

Fireworks lit the dark sky above them as Kaoru stood motionless in Kenshin's arms.

* * *

Shinsen Gumi attacked the inn that night, but Katsura did heed Kaoru's words so Ishin shishi were ready. The battled was bloody and and resulted in countless casualties in both sides, but in the end Ishin shishi succeeded in driving them away.

Meanwhile Katsura was meeting with Miyabe Teizo of Choshu to appeal to him to consider the consequences of burning Kyoto on public safety. Katsura told him that Shinsen Gumi were leading an attack against him and that if they did not assemble their men together, Miyabe might be the next to fall. Their discussion lasted for most of the night, but eventually Miyabe yielded to Katsura and Kyoto was spared.

Yes Kyoto was spared and with it, the lives of thousands of people.

Back then, it seemed to Kaoru that she did the right thing by telling Katsura about the attack, after all she led them to victory. However, what she did not consider was the effect this would have on the future.

What impact would this night have on Japan? On Kyoto? On the Meji era?

And most important of all how would it influence her life and Kenshin's?

* * *

"There is no better explanation" Said Iizuka in a relatively loud voice "she is a spy, how else would she know about burning Kyoto?"

"Iizuka, she warned us about the upcoming attack on the inn" Katsura responded calmly "you understand that many lives were spared thanks to her"

"Still this girl knows a lot, you can not overlook that" Iizuka insisted "even our own soldiers did not know about the plan to burn Kyoto"

Kenshin who sat silently against the wall, eyed Iizuka suspiciously.

They were meeting in one of the rooms inside the new inn. Of course they have moved to a new location after the festival.

"I say she must be killed"

Kenshin touched the hilt of his sword, trying to restrain his anger. Iizuka was testing his limits, for the past half an hour he was trying to convince Katsura that Kaoru was a danger to them and Kenshin was getting impatient with his false assumptions. Still Kenshin did not want to lose his temper like he had in the previous meeting.

Katsura sighed "Iizuka, why are you making such fuss over Kamiya-san? She did not cause any harm. I understand her knowledge is suspicious, however, based on her action we can not condemn her "

"But.."

"No buts, I might consider observing her activities again. But Kamiya-san is innocent until she proves use otherwise" Katsura rose to his feet and made his way to the door "I will personally question her about how she came upon those information" with that he stepped outside.

Kenshin stayed for little longer glaring at Iizuka.

Iizuka gulped and shifted on his position "Battousai don't stare at me like that, I'm only thinking of everyone's safety"

"You better think of your own safety first"

* * *

In the kitchen Kaoru was chatting to one of the women when suddenly Kenshin appeared at the door.

All the women stopped their chores and glanced at him.

He halted by the door, his golden eyed scanning the occupants of the kitchen, and when they settled on Kaoru he strode toward her.

The women started to whisper and blush as he passed between them. They were all ignored by Kenshin.

He stopped few paces away from her, then he reached out his hand and grasped hers.

"Come" he pulled her toward the door.

"Kenshin, what's wrong?"

No answer.

The whispers around them increased, and Kaoru smiled nervously at them.

When they exited the kitchen, he kept pulling her until he found a secluded place in one of the rooms.

He pushed her against the wall and slammed his hands on either side of her head. Trapping her.

Kaoru flinched.

"Kenshin what is the..."

"Tell me now, how did you know about the plan and the attack?" he demanded.

Kaoru thought for a minute. _Should I tell him? Should I tell him the truth? _But Kaoru felt she was not ready, she felt _he _was not ready to hear it.

"I heard few soldiers talking about it in the town" she actually prepared an answer before hand, she knew he would question her "you know I almost go their everyday, and one day I heard two soldiers of Shinsen Gumi discussing the matter" _please, please believe me. _

"Why didn't you tell me immediately?"

"I sought you out but you were out" she replied trying to sound convincing "I knew about it the day of the festival, when Kyoto was supposed to be burned" she lied.

Kenshin stared at her. Her story seemed logical, if any of the other women told him the same story he wouldn't think twice about it. But the fact that it was Kaoru, made him restless. Doubts and mystery surrounded her already, and this only worsen her case.

Kenshin moved his right hand and placed on her cheek, caressing her gently "don't get involved in those matters Kaoru. It's complicated and dangerous"

Kaoru gazed at him, he sounded worried. She placed her hand on his. Her sapphire eyes looking directly at his amber ones "I just ..I just don't want you to get hurt Kenshin, I want to help you"

Guilt found its way again to his heart. After all he did, she still thought of him.

He leaned closer to her, his mouth nearing hers.

He placed a soft kiss on her lips first, then he covered her mouth with his. Her mouth parted under his, though he felt her breathing quickened and sensed her tension. He touched her hair tenderly, trying to calm her. It felt like silk against his rough fingers.

Kaoru noticed how gentle his kiss was and how he was trying to calm her. And despite her fear, Kaoru found herself wanting this moment to last forever.

* * *

No cliffy this time, hope this makes it up for last time.

Ok I want to bring your attention to Gion festival. This festival is held on Kyoto on JULY every year and it lasts for 3 days. Now my story takes place on Autumn around the end of October. So that was incorrect. Anyway, I hope that's fine with you all cuz I'm not writing to give you a history lesson lol

I deliberately did not elaborate in the festival matter, I did not want to focus too much onto it, after all it has to be included because it will affect something in the near future.

And here is where my story will take a COMPLETELY different road from the OVAs, Katsura was supposed to lose and disappear somewhere, whereas Kenshin and Tomoe should be living as a husband and wife. But Kaoru changed a vital incident, so things will turn out differently.

And I hope you forgive Kenshin for what he ALMOST did to Kaoru XD

Please review.


	7. Human being

Chapter 7: Human-being

The wind was heavy and the night was cold. But the dark sky was clear of clouds.

And the full moon was red.

Kaoru clutched her shawl closer to her shoulders. Sitting on the porch at night had become a regular habit of hers. Specially these days when sleeping scarcely came to her.

Kaoru did not know what was wrong with her. In the past three days she became restless and wary. She could not put her finger on any obvious reason, she was content here. Everyone was nicer to her after the festival incident and Kenshin...well Kenshin was still Kenshin. She couldn't define their relationship at the moment. He had learnt to trust her, she was positive about that. And he cared about her, but did he love her? That, even Kaoru, could not tell. She sometimes caught him staring at her, his amber eyes burning with emotions she did not understand or did not want to understand.

Kaoru was scared.

She was scared of falling in love with him. She was in love with the other Kenshin, right? And what would happen if she was suddenly back to her time? She did not want to experience that kind of pain, though she doubted the possibility of returning to her time. A month had passed and still she was clueless of how she came here and how to return.

Kaoru sighed and raised her head toward the dark sky.

The moon was red. It was the same red colour of the night she came here. Kaoru wondered if it signified anything or was it a mere coincidence that the night of her arrival to this time the moon was red? Kaoru fumbled with a strand of her loose hair.

So many questions and no answers.

Kaoru was about to stand when her shawl slid off her shoulders and onto the ground under the porch.

Kaoru heaved a sigh. Jumping on the ground, she bent down to pick the shawl.

The shawl became little bit dirty so Kaoru stood brushing the dirt away.

"Mou I really like this..." her complaining ceased immediately and her spine tensed.

Something sharp pressed against her back.

"Don't move girl and don't scream" a voice said from behind her "if you do, I will drive the blade right into your heart" and to emphasize his point he pressed the blade further against her back.

Kaoru gasped as she felt the sharp point and instinctively arched her back. The blade was directly behind her heart.

"I said, don't move"

_This voice..._

Her eyes went wide when she realised whose voice it was.

_Iizuka_

"You.." Kaoru started.

Iizuka chuckled evilly "how fast"

Kaoru risked turning her head slowly toward him but he pressed the sharp point closer.

"Don't" he threatened.

She whipped her head straight again but she had glimpsed that he was unmasked.

_That means he's going to kill me._ Kaoru panicked then fisted her hands in tight balls around her shawl _don't panic Kaoru stay calm and think._

"Now" she heard his voice "I could have killed you few moments ago but I didn't, well not yet, first just a couple of questions"

"I don't have information of any value to you" Kaoru tried to sound calm.

She felt him move his head closer to her ear "Let me be the judge, ne?" he smirked and moved his head back.

"Why are you doing this? Did Katsura send you? And why? I had helped him" she asked then flinched when the sharp edge penetrated the thin fabric of her kimono. Iizuka started to chuckle again.

"You think Katsura wants to kill you?" his tone was mocking "no girl, that bastard defends you like a father defends his child"

_Bastard..?! _

Just then it dawned on Kaoru.

"You are.." Kaoru turned her head again looking at him astonishedly, the smug smirk confirmed her suspicion "you are the traitor"

"Well done girl" he taunted her "but too bad, it's too late for you"

Kaoru remembered that Kenshin, the Kenshin in her time, had told them about the traitor who had caused Ishin shinshi to lose and caused Kenshin to...

"Now girl" he poked her with the sword to make her look forward again "we have wasted precious time, tell me how you knew about Shinsen Gumi's attack"

"You work for the..." again Kaoru gasped when she felt the cold blade against her skin now.

"You are testing my patience, answer" he commanded.

Kaoru gritted her teeth "I..I heard some Shinsen Gumi's members speaking about it"

"And about burning Kyoto as well?"

Kaoru nodded.

"Answer!" he snapped.

"Yes" Kaoru answered hastily.

"Warning Katsura was a bad move girl, it will cost you your life, though I must admit it's a waste since we had other plans for you" Iizuka reached out his free hand and stroke her black hair.

Kaoru shivered, whether it was because of the cold wind or his touch she did not know, but she managed to ask "Plans?"

"Yes, you were the tool for Battousai's demise" he said it with zestful pleasure.

Kaoru did not say anything, her mouth was dry and her jaw was tight.

_They wanted to use me to kill Kenshin..._

"Kenshin won't fall for this, I'm nothing to him" Kaoru pointed, trying to sound convincing.

"To want is to have a weakness" he said "and he wants you, that much is obvious. He maybe a formidable assassin but still he is a mere child with emotions" he grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her head backwards "and those emotions will be his downfall"

Words escaped her, she was supposed to be used against Kenshin...to kill him. All this time she wanted to stay here to help Kenshin, to help him overcome this bloody and harsh period. However, now it turned out she could have been his downfall.

Kaoru closed her eyes as she felt Iizuka moving the blade closer.

_Maybe I'm better off dead. _

"Yah just die like the obedient girl you're supposed to be" she heard him saying "I will try to make it painless"

_But..._

He let go of her hair and withdrew the blade to deliver one swift strike into her back.

_But..._

"Sayonara" his voice was amused.

_But not before I tell Kenshin..._

As fast as she could, Kaoru whirled around and threw her shawl over his face. Then she seized the sword with both her hands trying to pry it free.

"Traitor!" Kaoru screamed at the top of her voice.

Iizuka, one hand firm on the hilt, removed the shawl off his face "you bitch!" he hissed as he tried to pull the sword.

Kaoru grabbed the blade with all her strength. Blood trickled down her wrists and along her forearms as the sharp edge cut her palm.

_If I release the blade I will die._

_If I don't kill this girl I'm ruined. _Iizuka thought desperately. He tried to slash across her palm but her grip was like steel. Her will to live was strong after all. "girl I will cut your hands for you" he pressed the blade forward in attempt to cut through her palm.

Kaoru cried out in pain when she felt the sword cut deeper into her flesh. She felt sick with pain and her hold weakened. But just then, voices were heard around the corner.

"Whose there?" a voice was heard.

Iizuka swore. _Night guards. _He tried one last time to pry the sword free, but Kaoru, hearing the voices, strengthen her hold. So Iizuka abandoned the sword.

"This is not over" he growled at Kaoru and fled the other direction.

Kaoru dropped the sword and sank to her knees, her hands bleeding. Two guards appeared at her side "oi, are you okay?" one of them asked as he knelt beside her "who was here?" he asked looking at the sword.

Kaoru raised a trembling hand and pointed to the other side "there" blood dripped on her kimono "he went that way, the traitor, Iizuka"

"Iizuka?" the man sounded surprised.

"There is no time for arguing, let's go after him" the other man who was standing said "will you be alright, Kamiya-san?"

Kaoru only nodded then watched them as they run to the other direction.

* * *

Kaoru was with the landlady, who was busy bandaging her palms, when the door was slid open with a brute force that made Kaoru think the door would be torn. Both of them looked at the door.

There standing by the door frame was Kenshin, who stared sharply at Kaoru. He scanned her form quickly. Other than her newly bandaged hands he found no other wounds.

"Ah it's you Himura-san" the landlady said her attention was back to Kaoru's wounded hand "you scared the poor girl by storming in like this, she had enough surprises for one night"

Kenshin did not say anything but only averted his gaze. And Kaoru noticed that he actually looked embarrassed.

"You must have heard about what happened from Katsura-san, haven't you?" the landlady asked.

"ah"

"It's not my concern to dwell on these complicated matters, but I've always disliked Iizuka and he proved me right" she wrapped Kaoru's wounded hand securely "there Kaoru-chan, be careful with it, it is not as shallow as it looks"

Kaoru nodded and smiled "thank you Ayami-san and sorry to wake you at this late hour"

"Don't worry about it" Ayami rose to her feet "you can rest the next few days, no chores for you" she headed to the door and stopped near Kenshin "take care of her Himura-san, she is now plunged into a dangerous world, protect her" she whispered before stepping out of the room.

Kenshin remained silent, watching Kaoru. If she had heard the landlady's words, she gave not sign of it.

"Ayami-san is a nice person, giving me few days off" Kaoru said after a moment, not looking at Kenshin.

Kenshin closed the door and walked to Kaoru. But before he reached her Kaoru stood "I'm pretty tired, I think I will go to sleep now" she still did not meet his eyes.

"Kaoru" Kenshin's voice was calm but a look of puzzlement crossed his handsome face briefly.

"You know, it was a...weird night, I need to rest" she passed by Kenshin avoiding his gaze. However, a hand seized her wrist before she neared the door.

Kenshin pulled her toward him "Kaoru what is wrong with you? What did Iizuka say to you?"

"Please Kenshin, I told Katsura all what took place between Iizuka and myself, go and ask him"

Kenshin regarded her sharply. Her behaviour was odd.

Kaoru tried to pry her hand free, but Kenshin only tightened his grip in response to her resistance.

"You're not going anywhere before you tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Let me go Kenshin I'm just tired" Kaoru's head was bowed as tried to pull her hand free.

Kenshin's free hand grasped her chin and tilted her head upward, forcing her to look at him "you are not telling the truth, Kaoru" he let go of her wrist and wrap his hand around her waist. Their bodies were close now, and Kenshin leaned closer to kiss her. However, Kaoru moved her head forcefully to avoid his mouth "please, don't" her hands fisted around his gi "just don't..I..I don't want you get hurt"

"Hurt?" Kenshin was confused.

"They want to kill you, they want to use me to kill you, we shouldn't be together like this"

"Who will kill me?" Kenshin asked though he knew who she was talking about.

"Iizuka said that I will be your downfall" Kaoru shook her head and stared at him "I can't live if anything happens to you because of me..."

_That damned Iizuka._

"You don't have to worry, Kaoru" he stroked a wisp of her hair and tucked it behind her ear "I will kill him for you, I will make sure his death is slow and painful, I make his screams..."

"NO!"

Kenshin was taken aback by her outburst.

"No" Kaoru said softly, bowing her head "I don't want you to kill"

"Kaoru..." Kenshin began.

"No please, Kenshin" her voice was trembling "just few hours ago, I was so close death and...and I thought that I don't want to die, that Iizuka had no right to kill me, maybe just maybe your victims..." her voice trailed off.

"Kaoru killing is what I do"

"I thought" Kaoru continued as though he had not spoken "maybe that's how your victims think before you kill them, that they don't want to die, that you have no right to take their lives and most important of all that they want to see their loved ones for one last time" she raised her head, tears were streaming down her cheeks "when Iizuka was about to stab me all I could think about was you" Kenshin stared at her intently "I..I wanted see you and tell you.." Kaoru stopped bowing her head again.

"Kaoru" Kenshin pulled her into an embrace "I kill for a better world, I kill for people's happiness and" Kenshin paused "for your happiness"

"What about your happiness, Kenshin?" Kaoru said through tears "you deserve to be happy"

Kenshin did not say anything for few moments, then his hands tightened around Kaoru's body.

"You are my happiness"

Those four words took Kaoru by surprise, she tensed for a second but then wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face on the crook of his neck.

_You don't understand Kenshin, you just don't._

* * *

Next day.

Kaoru's eyes fluttered open but she quickly clenched them tightly when they met the bright light. Then she opened them slowly only to stare at an unfamiliar ceiling or wait a minuet she had seen this ceiling before.

_Kenshin's room._

Kaoru sat slowly, wincing slightly when she applied some pressure on her hand to support her. She remained on the futon, her mind reminiscing last night's events.

After her "chat" with Kenshin he had insisted that she slept in his room.

Kaoru gazed down at herself. She was wearing Kenshin's sleeping yukata, which, he claimed, he had never used.

Kaoru blushed "did something happen?" she voiced her question to herself.

"Depends on what kind of thing" Kaoru jumped as she heard an amused voice behind her.

She jerked her head toward the voice.

There, leaning against the wall, was Kenshin. A small smirk graced his lips.

Kaoru turned fully toward him "Kenshin you baka, you scared me" she fumed.

Kenshin raised an elegant eyebrow

"How long have you been here?" she placed one hand on her hip.

"Long enough"

"Mou, don't give me that kind of answer just answer...what are you so happy about?" Kaoru asked when she noticed that the smirk never left his lips and his amused amber eyes were travelling between her face and her body, but mostly they gazed at her body or more precisely at her...

Kaoru looked down at herself only to see that the sleeping yukata gaped on her chest revealing most of her breasts.

Kaoru snatched the blanket, pulling it to her neck "Kenshin you pervert!! what are you looking at?"

Kenshin's smirk only grew as he stood and walked toward her. He knelt beside her and pulled the blanket down "I'm looking at what is mine"

Kaoru glared at him "I'm not..." however her words died in her throat when Kenshin pressed his mouth against hers.

Kaoru was so alarmed that first she tried to push him, but Kenshin placed one hand behind her back and pressed her against his body while his mouth licked and bit at her full lips. There was nothing more he wanted to do than lay her down the futon and show her that she belonged to him but he felt that she was not ready for that. Besides he had other thing in mind, so he slowly withdrew his lips and gazed at her. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks flushed. He reached his hand to her face, touching it tenderly and tracing her lower lip with his thumb. Kaoru opened her eyes slowly gazing directly at his golden eyes.

It always surprised her how he could calm her with one gentle kiss, and the problem was that Kaoru loved being kissed by him. But she wouldn't admit that to him.

"I have to escort Katsura today" his voice was cold again "I don't want you to go out for any reason"

Kaoru inclined her head "you're going to kill tonight?"

"Ah"

"Kenshin, you do-" Kaoru began.

Kenshin stood abruptly "nothing will stand between me and my duty" his voice was hard.

Kaoru looked at him "but Kenshin..." Kaoru began, but his eyes made her stop. They gleamed with hardness and determination that told Kaoru, even she, would not come between him and this duty.

Kenshin walked to the door "try not to be alone often, stay with the other women" with that he was gone.

* * *

Kenshin was walking two steps behind Katsura, who had an important meeting with one of his opposers, so Kenshin's protection was needed.

The sun was obscured by the grey clouds. Kenshin estimated that rain will fall soon.

"How is Kamiya-san after yesterday's night?" Katsura's voice cut Kenshin's thoughts about the weather. Kenshin thought that he was asking the man next to him "eh, Himura-san?" Katsura tilted his head toward Kenshin.

"Ayumi-san treated her wounds"

"I wasn't asking about her physical condition, I was there when Ayumi-san started to treat her wounds"

Kenshin wondered if Katsura knew that Kaoru had spent the night in his room.

"The girl's well-being isn't important now" a man called Nomura Shoin, who was Katsura's constant follower, said "that bastard Iizuka is the traitor and we should do something about it"

"I know I know Nomura. It came as a shock to me as well" Katsura's voice was tired.

"Maybe we should change the inn again, Iizuka must have told them about our location"

"I have considered this option before" Katsura replied "that's why I have increased the night guards, though I doubt they will attack again"

"Why?"

"Because I believe they have other plans in mind, they will attack that is something for sure, however they won't attack the inn" he paused "maybe they will attack today on the road, it's a valid possibility, that's why I brought Himura-san today in spite of his reluctance" with that Katsura smiled at Kenshin.

"My reluctance?" Kenshin was puzzled.

"I'm sure you wanted to spend more time with Kamiya-san, ne?"

Kenshin opened his mouth slightly "Katsura-san I..." for the first time in his life he was lost for words. True, initially he did not want to leave Kaoru alone. However, he had said it, nothing would stand between him and his job.

Katsura soft laughter sounded in the cold day "oh Himura-san this is the first time you're rendered speechless" he slowed his steps so he could walk beside Kenshin "I know your sense of duty is stronger so nothing would stop you, but if you wanted to stay with Kamiya-san I would have released you from your duty today, after all your woman needs you"

"Katsura-san!"

"Sorry Himura-san, I guess my mood is bright today despite the dark weather. But I must admit Kamiya-san is a special girl. In a very short time she became so close to you and..."

Kenshin watched him intently.

"I haven't seen you acting like this in a long time. Somehow, when she is around, you are more like a normal human being" Katsura looked at Kenshin intensely for longer than he intended, then he smiled "we're lagging off, we should hurry before it begins to rain" with that Katsura picked up his pace.

Kenshin did not move, he only stood staring at Katsura's back. A small smiled appeared on his face.

_Normal human being._

He liked the sound of that.

* * *

Outside it was downpour, rain fell from the sky heavily.

Kenshin had just come from the mission, which had gone smoothly.

When he turned the corner which led to his room he noticed the door to his room was opened.

Slowly, he walked to the door.

Standing by the door frame, he scanned the room.

The side of his mouth curved upward slightly.

There, standing in the middle of the room, was Kaoru. She was cleaning the room, her back was to the door.

She was humming softly as she brushed the floor with a long broom.

She did not sense him.

Soundlessly, he approached her. And when he was few inches away from her, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Pressing her body against his hard chest.

The broom dropped from her hand and her body went rigid, but she immediately relaxed when she noticed the crimson strands of Kenshin's hair.

"Kenshin, don't do that again, you scared me" Kaoru reproached him.

Kenshin buried his face on the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. He closed his eyes.

_Jasmine._

One hand moved to her upper part of her kimono, pushing it apart slightly, while the other remained around her small waist. Her left shoulder was bare now, and Kenshin planted soft kisses on it.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru breathed, closing her eyes.

"Shh..it's alright Kaoru" he reassured her.

He moved his hand again as he pulled the kimono down to expose more of her smooth skin. Then something caught his eyes and he stopped.

Kaoru opened her eyes "Kenshin?"

Kenshin's only reply was to pull her kimono further down exposing her back. His eyes widened at what he saw. Her back was scarred, no scarred did not begin to describe it, it was marred with different kinds of scars. Burning scars, whipping scars and small cuts which Kenshin reckoned were made by a knife.

"Ken.." her word was cut when Kenshin suddenly turned her to face him, his hands gripped her upper arm painfully.

"Who did this?" he asked, shaking her form.

At first Kaoru stared at him puzzledly, but then it came to her. _Those marks_. She had stayed here for so long that she almost forgot about her disfigured back.

"Those are..." she did not continue, only averted her blue eyes from his golden ones.

"Look at me Kaoru and tell me who did this?" her eyes met his fiery orbs which gleamed with fury.

"Those are torturing marks" this was the only answer she came up with.

"This isn't my question, who tortured you?"

Kaoru bowed her head in defeat, knowing Kenshin she was certain that he wouldn't leave her be till he got what his answered "someone far, far away from here, he did it for revenge" Kenshin was about to ask who again but Kaoru cut him off "he is not here Kenshin, so his name is not important"

Kenshin did not press the matter of his identity any further "revenge for what?"

"For his sister. Someone, a dear friend of mine, killed her by mistake" Kaoru said without looking at him "but he had loved her, she was the love of his life but he unintentionally killed her in front of her brother many years ago so the brother came back looking for revenge" she paused "and he used me".

Kenshin remained silent, wanting her to continue.

"It was a rainy day just like today when he challenged my friend" there was a faraway look in her eyes as if she was in a different place...different time "my friend was a good swordsman, both of them were, however this guy came with others seeking revenge so in the end I was taken" she paused for a second "when I woke up in that strange place my hell began. The first night he only used his bare hands to beat me repeatedly till I was unconscious with pain. He then established a daily pattern to inflict suffering upon me" she bit her lower lip and Kenshin thought she wouldn't continue but her soft voice spoke again "at night he would beat me and torture me using various methods and at day he would starve me and make me beg and do things for food" a single tear rolled down her cheek and Kenshin was about to tell her to stop when she spoke again "once...once he threw food on the floor and ordered me to eat with my hand tied behind me and.." her voice broke off as more tears slid down her cheeks "..and I did eat, just like an animal I ate...but..but I was hungry I ..did not have other choice.." she sobbed.

"Kaoru that's enough"

Kaoru wiped her tears with her hands but it was useless as more fresh tears welled in her eyes "I know you must think I'm pathetic but I wasn't always like this, I..I used to be a strong and stubborn girl who always had her way" now there was a small, sad smile on her lips "but he broke me...the night I was..." she did not continue this sentence "he stole everything from me" this time she placed both her hands on her face and wept her heart out.

Kenshin gathered her in his arms and stroke her back gently trying to calm her. However he himself was angry, no he was furious, he wanted to kill that man right now, he wanted to give him the slowest, most painful death. In truth he wanted to kill anyone right now to calm himself, but he knew that Kaoru, who was trembling in his arms, was more important than that.

She needed him.

He would kill later.

* * *

The rain had stopped and the clouds cleared away revealing the red moon.

In his room, which was dark apart from the feeble light cast from few candles, Kenshin sat leaning against the wall with Kaoru on his lab. One hand rested lightly on her waist while the other stroke her hair. Her head rested on his shoulder and she was silent but Kenshin could feel that she was awake. To his relief she had stopped crying. He felt responsible for her tears, he had forced her to remember horrible things and he felt bad about it. His thoughts travelled to her story. He wondered who this "dear friend of hers" was. _They must be close since that bastard used her to get to him. _And why wasn't he with her now, did he die in the fight? Kenshin found himself wishing so because he felt that Kaoru had a special connection with this friend.

_Dead or alive, Kaoru is mine. _He unconsciously tightened his hold on her. Then he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. _What am I thinking? This isn't the time for such thoughts. _

"You know Kenshin" Kaoru's voice startled him, he looked down at her "you are the first one I told about what happened to me during those days" her voice was soft and her face was buried on his neck "even my friend, I did not tell him"

_So he lived._

Kenshin leaned over and kissed her forehead "Kaoru I will not force you to reveal the identity of the man who tortured you," Kenshin whispered against her skin "But if I ever meet him I will definitely kill him for you"

"Then what, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked immediately "killing him won't undo the harm"

When he did not answer, Kaoru snuggled closer to him and continued "I believe that he wasn't always a bad person, one night, after a torturing session, I heard him crying. Maybe he thought I was unconscious but I heard him, he was calling his sister's name, he was lonely and he missed her. Then again I was dizzy from lack of food and blood loss so maybe I imagined things or was dreaming. However," she was looking at him now "I want to believe that he, no matter what, is a human being with emotions"

Sure he was a human, Kenshin thought. _I will prove that the bastard is human by bleeding him to death. _Kenshin thought that Kaoru was too kind for her own good.

"Kaoru" Kenshin's voice was low, but in the same time firm "what he did to you is unforgivable and if I meet him I will make sure he is punished" Kenshin did not say "kill him" again because he knew how this disturbed Kaoru to a high extent "but for now I promise you that I won't allow anyone to hurt you" his golden eyes gazed directly into her sapphire orbs.

"I will protect you"

* * *

Outside the red moon still glowed in the dark sky. The streets of Kyoto were silent and empty for no one would go out in this bitter night. It was cold and icy, a coldness that crept to one's bones. However, a lone figured strode in the shadows. His body was covered with a thick black cloak.

Upon reaching his destination he halted in front of the big gate.

His face was shadowed by the hood, only his mouth was visible in the illumination of the moon.

A smirk formed on his thin lips as he stared at the place.

"Things will get really interesting"

* * *

So what do you think?? not as long as usual but hopefully you liked it.

Sorry if there were many grammar/spelling errors this time. I tried to edit as much as I could. But to be honest my sight is still recovering so I'm sure this time I missed lots of mistakes.

Until next time,see ya...


	8. Love

HELLO mena-san!! the 8th chapter is out. Thanks for all the reviewers, you made my day with your comments.

Warning: this chapter contains mature themes...so everyone REJOICE!!

* * *

Chapter 8: Love

The icy breeze blew in the late afternoon upon the wooden houses of Kyoto.

Among those houses Kaoru walked casually, inspecting.

_I'm sure this is the right direction._

Kaoru had waited till Kenshin was out so she could sneak out of the inn.

_Kenshin will kill me if he discovers my absence._ But she had to make this little trip.

She hadn't seen _him _for more than two weeks and she was worried because their last meeting wasn't a pleasant one. Kaoru shook her head.

Kenshin.

Kenshin could be so cruel sometimes but despite that, Kaoru knew how kind he was in the inside.

Her thoughts travelled to the night when she confessed to him what had happened to her. Kaoru thought that he might be disgusted with her, but Kenshin only showed her care and kindness. She had been sleeping in his room since then, on his insistence. Well nothing happened between them apart from some kisses and innocent touches. Nonetheless, Kaoru found herself blushing as she remembered some of those touches. Fear still consumed her sometimes, however, Kenshin understood her situation and never went too far.

Kaoru smiled _I never thought that the younger Kenshin, whom they called Battousai, was an understanding and considerate person._

Kaoru slowed down her pace when she neared a familiar house.

_This is it. _She thought happily.

_This is Okita's house. _

Kaoru stood in front of the gate.

"I'm sure this is his house" Kaoru spoke softly, her breath misting in the cold weather.

She knocked the door gently at first, then little bit louder when no response was heard.

Running out of patience, Kaoru pushed the wooden door, surprisingly, finding it opened.

"Hello" she called loudly, peering into the big yard

"Okita-san" her voice echoed across the empty yard, still there was no response.

_I guess he is out. _Kaoru sighed, reflecting that now Kenshin would be angry for nothing. But then, just as this thought crossed her mind, she heard something.

It was coming from the back yard and it was as if someone was struggling with a fight, though no clash of swords was heard.

Kaoru strode across the yard and made her way to the porch. Then slowly she walked along the open porch.

The voice was getting louder.

Okita's house was huge so it took longer than Kaoru wanted to cross the wooden porch which was located at the left side of the house. As she neared the end she slowed her pace and peered from behind the wall.

Finding the source of the voice, Kaoru just stood there staring.

There, in the middle of the yard, was Okita practising with his sword, oblivious to the world around him. He was stripped to the waste which made Kaoru wonder how he was not freezing in this cold weather. In her position, near the wall, Kaoru had sideway view of him. His arm protectors were on as he slashed and thrusted at invisible enemies. His brown hair was held in the usual high ponytail which was swaying with each strike and thrust he made.

"It is kind of rude to spy on people, Kaoru-chan"

Kaoru froze on her spot, Okita had not turned toward her nor had he halted his training.

Kaoru stepped out and smiled sheepishly, as if she was a child caught doing something she shouldn't.

Okita swept his thin blade in a great arch, and Kaoru thought if there was someone facing him he would be cut in half cleanly. Then Okita turned to face Kaoru, sword still in his hand, and smiled.

"I'm happy to see you, Kaoru-chan"

And for some reason, Kaoru could not take her eyes off his sword.

* * *

"I hadn't seen you in a while so I was worried" Kaoru said before bringing the cup to her mouth and sipping some of the warm liquid. They were perched in the same room which Okita had received Kaoru when her ankle was sprained. His gi was on now, probably he felt cold when he stopped training "besides, our last encounter wasn't ..." Kaoru paused, picking the word carefully "friendly, and you didn't seem well"

"Don't think too much about it Kaoru" Okita shrugged "it isn't something serious"

Kaoru stared at the cup in her hands, thinking of the blood that trickled down his chin after fighting with Kenshin. Despite wanting to ask him, she decided against it.

"I usually meet you in the town" Kaoru said raising her head "but in the last two weeks there was no sign of you"

"I was busy in the past week, so didn't have the chance to stop in town and..." his eyes looked directly onto hers "I thought you might be angry with me"

Kaoru looked at him questioningly "me angry? Why?"

"You know, after the fuss I caused in your inn" his eyes were locked with her soft gaze "with that man"

"No, no I'm not angry with you at all" Kaoru smiled.

"Though I can't say that man shares this feeling"

"Please excuse Kenshin, he isn't always like that" Kaoru placed the cup on the tray "he is a kind and good man"

"And a good swordsman" Okita added as he eyed her movements "I wonder if he is a soldier"

Kaoru didn't say anything, she just stared at Okita and when it became apparent that he wanted her to say something, she averted her eyes and spoke softly "he..he is a guard..a personal guard for someone...I can't remember his name. Kenshin only lives temporarily in the inn" she lied.

"I see" he said briefly as he gazed at her bandaged neck. He seemed lost in his thoughts before he spoke again "he was very protective of you I must say. This leads me to think you and him are more than friends" a smile was formed on his lips.

Kaoru smiled nervously "ah..emm..as I said before, we are only friends" as Kaoru remembered his kisses and caresses she knew that friendship was the wrong word to describe their relationship. And in spite of herself, she could not stop the faint red colour which spread on her cheeks so she inclined her head sideways, hoping that Okita would not notice "and why are you..."

"Friends, eh?" Okita cut her off, the smile never left his lips "so he won't mind if I..."

Kaoru was not ready for what he did next, he suddenly reached out his right hand and pulled her toward him by her wrist so forcefully that she knocked the empty cup with her leg. His hand circled her waist "…kiss you" he breathed.

Kaoru found herself in a position where her upper half was so close to his chest and her lower one was on the wooden floor. His mouth was near hers and his brown eyes stared directly at her wide blue eyes.

"Okita..."

"You remember last time, Kaoru" Kaoru noted that he dropped the suffix "I wanted to kiss you but we were interrupted" he brought her closer so now their noses were almost touching.

Okita expected Kaoru to be scared, to push him. However, surprisingly, she smiled.

"You won't do it" her voice was calm.

"I won't?"

"Yes, you won't" she said confidently "it is not in you to do such thing, not in your nature"

Okita smiled "but I'm man Kaoru, a man with desires and you" his hand tightened around her "are a beautiful woman" his breath was warm against her lips.

"But I trust you, Okita" she replied firmly.

Okita did not say anything. An awkward silence fell upon the room where their breaths were the only sounds.

Okita's eyes did not leave hers, making Kaoru think he did not blink at all. Then she felt his hold around her waist slacken as his head moved up. She felt his lips on her forehead, kissing her softly.

"You trust people so easily, Kaoru"

* * *

Okita escorted her to the gate after Kaoru's insistence to leave.

"The sun will set soon Okita-san, I don't want to walk in the dark" Kaoru pointed out, as they walked side by side to the gate.

"That is the more reason why I should walk you to the inn"

"I will be fine if I take my leave now" Kaoru still felt awkward after what happened earlier, and that did not go unnoticed by Okita.

Stopping by the gate Okita smiled apologetically "I'm sorry about what happened Kaoru-chan, I did not mean it"

Kaoru shocked her head "I know you meant no harm" despite what she said, Kaoru wondered briefly what had driven him to do that.

"But I meant it when I said you are beautiful" he smiled brightly.

Kaoru blushed at his words "th…thank you, Okita-san"

A soft laugh escaped him, his warm breaths misted before him "and you are cute when you blush"

"Mou Okita stop it now, really" Kaoru furrowed her brows "it is almost as if you are mocking me" she hit him playfully on the shoulder, Okita kept laughing muttering small apologies under his breaths and Kaoru couldn't help but to laugh heartedly with him.

Kaoru reflected how she felt at ease around him. His aura glowed with kindness, and though she thought he was kind of weird today she knew that she could trust him.

"I hope to see you again Okita-san" Kaoru said after few moments.

Okita nodded "me too Kaoru-chan, maybe I will visit you someday"

Kaoru did not say anything, for she had changed the previous inn, so she only smiled and bowed slightly before turning around.

_It is better if he doesn't know._

Okita watched her retreating form with unreadable expression. Three words hunted him.

_I trust you_

Okita.

* * *

The sun was setting as Kaoru made her way to the inn. A cold breeze caressed her face and lifted her hair. Kaoru instinctively pulled the shawl around her body more securely.

_Not that it's doing any good_. She thought miserably. Kaoru hated winter, it was a morbid season which made her want to sleep through it. But of course she knew it was impossible to do such thing.

Kaoru sighed, thinking of her other, more serious ordeal.

Kenshin.

She hoped he was not back yet, or else he would really be mad at her for going out alone.

Kaoru found it ironic that in this time she was afraid of Kenshin's wrath whereas, in her time, the situation was entirely the opposite. Kenshin, Yahiko and Sano were afraid of her temper. She could picture them all as pale as the snow whenever they did something wrong in her dojo. Kaoru laughed softly. Yahiko was the bravest, he would protest and shout his defiance, but in the end he would yield to her frightening temper. And Sano was the worst, he would sneak out of the dojo if he did something wrong. That leaves Kenshin. Well no matter how angry she was, Kenshin was always smiling at her which made Kaoru angrier.

A small sad smile formed on her lips.

_I miss them all. _

Not only she missed them, she missed her old self as well. But Kaoru was painfully aware that this part of her was gone, maybe forever.

_And the cause of this is..._

Just when this thought passed her mind, something nagged her to turn, to look behind her. Kaoru did not know why, but she submitted to that strange feeling and turned around.

Kaoru was walking to the east which made the west behind her so, as she turned around, she shielded her eyes from the setting sun to be able to take in what was in front of her. And there, in the middle of the road, stood a figure. The setting sun was directly behind him, outlining his tall body. He stood ten paces away from her, and Kaoru could see that he was clad in black. A black cloak and black hood which shadowed his face, making Kaoru unable to see his features. To her the only visible part of his face was his mouth, which was twisted in a smirk. Kaoru stood on her place, motionless. She did not like that smirk, she did not like it at all. It made her feel uneasy, it brought back awful memories.

The mysterious figure was as motionless as Kaoru. He remained on his position, and Kaoru was certain he was watching her.

A bird cried in the sky, making Kaoru raise her head instictively. She stared at the sky for few moments, forgetting about the black figure, and when she finally looked back,

He was gone.

* * *

When Kaoru reached the inn, the sky was almost dark. She asked one guard about Kenshin and he told her that he was not back yet. Kaoru sighed in relief and thanked him before making her way to Kenshin's room. After all, her wounds were still healing so she was excused of any duties and she needed sometime to think. Once in his room, Kaoru lit three candles and settled on the wooden floor against the wall.

When she closed her eyes an image of the black figure appeared in her mind. Kaoru shook her head and inhaled deeply.

_I'm making such a big deal out of nothing. _

Despite her words Kaoru brought her folded legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees.

_Please Kenshin hurry up and come back already._

* * *

Kaoru was drifting in and out of sleep when she heard the door being slid open. She raised her head and looked toward the door. Kenshin paused at door looking at her. Of course, he was not surprised to see her here, he had seen the light through the shouji door.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru smiled warmly at him. However Kenshin did not return it. Closing the door behind him, he strode across the room and settled on his usual position against the wall of books next to the window.

Kaoru, puzzled at his behaviour, rose to her feet and walked to him.

"Kenshin is everything alright?" she inquired concernedly, as she knelt before him.

Still he ignored her. He was not looking at her, his eyes were looking downwards. His red bangs shadowing them.

Different thoughts raced in Kaoru's mind. _Was he hurt anywhere? Or was he mad at me? Did he discover I was out today?_ Kaoru had no more time to dwell on her thoughts when Kenshin spoke in no more than a whisper.

"I killed a man today."

Kaoru remained silent. This was not the first time Kenshin kill someone this month and yet she felt there was something different this time and Kenshin's next words proved her right.

"His wife saw me," his voice was low as if he was ashamed "I could not leave any witnesses so I had to take her life."

Kaoru did not know what to say. _He killed an innocent woman. _Her mind screamed this thought at her.

But Kenshin was not done "they had a little girl..."

"No...please...no" Kaoru whispered in a choked voice, suddenly afraid to hear the rest.

"She woke up when I was about to leave, she saw me, she looked onto my face and saw her parents' blood dropping off my sword" Kenshin paused, clenching his teeth. Kaoru only stared at him, wide-eyed.

"But I did not kill her, although she saw me I could not bring myself to kill her" Kenshin clutch his sword tightly "however she is as good as dead. Nothing but pain is awaiting her now. She is alone in this harsh world. But I..." Kenshin raised his head, looking directly at Kaoru. She saw great pain in his amber eyes, he was suffering "I'm supposed to bring happiness to the common people, right?" he raised his hand now and looked down on them "that's why I kill, that is why I..."

Kenshin stopped when he felt a hand on his left cheek. His eyes gazed up.

"That's enough, Kenshin" Kaoru said gently as she caressed his cheek "please that is enough, you don't have to torment yourself like this."

Kenshin's gaze softened and he moved closer to her. Kaoru was kneeling on both knees and Kenshin wrapped his arms around her waist. His head rested on her chest and Kaoru touched his hair gently "at least you gave the child a chance to live, I'm sure everything will be fine for her...yes everything will be fine" Kaoru said trying to sound convincing, she did not believe her own words, after all she knew the hardships of growing up without parents. And it pained her to think of the fate waiting for that young girl. However, Kenshin needed her reassurance, he needed her. This was the first time she sees him so emotionally vulnerable and exposed. And a part of her was glad that he had opened to her and trusted her. So Kaoru kept whispering to him and stroking his back. He did not cry, only clung to her and tighten his arms around her.

Then she felt him shift slightly and he lifted his head up to meet her eyes. Emotions swirled around his amber orbs. And then slowly, so slowly, he closed the gap between their faces and pressed his lips on hers. Kaoru did not protest or pull away even when he deepened the kiss. This kiss was different from the other ones they had shared, it was desperate and forceful. He moved his hands behind her back and pressed her warm body against his. And before Kaoru registered what was happening he pushed her to the floor using his body. All this time without breaking the kiss. Kaoru gasped against his mouth as her back connected with the hard wood and Kenshin seized the opportunity to slide his tongue inside, tracing the insides of her mouth with wild passion and hunger.

Because of the sudden fall Kaoru's legs parted slightly, but enough to give Kenshin a room to settle between them while he deepened the kiss roughly. Kaoru wanted him to break the kiss, she needed to breathe. However she dared not to push him away and kept her hands motionless at both sides of her body.

_This is a small sacrifice for Kenshin's sake. _She squeezed her eyes shut, though not a single tear escaped them.

His right hand moved to her neck and fumbled with the white bandage before unbinding it.

Still Kaoru did not resist.

Kenshin chose that moment to break the kiss, which kept Kaoru panting for air. Surprisingly he seemed unaffected as he moved his head to her neck, sucking and kissing while his left hand found its way in the folds of her kimono. He stroked her smooth hip, moving his hand up and down. His other hand did not remain unmoving. It sneaked behind her back, forcing Kaoru to arch her back. He did a quick work with her obi, loosing it. Then his hand travelled from her back to the front of her kimono pushing apart to expose her full breasts.

Kaoru sensed that his movements were frantic, as if he was trying to relieve the pain in his soul with the pleasure of flesh.

All of that happened quickly, but, to Kaoru, it seemed that it took forever. It was not that she hated his touches, it was just that she felt Kenshin far way, not with her. He might be present in flesh, however he was emotionally absent. And as he moved his head to kiss her again, she saw it in his eyes. His usually golden eyes where dim and unfocused as though he was in another place. His lips captured hers in another rough kiss while his hand cupped her left breast squeezing slightly. Kaoru moaned against his mouth and arched her back.

She was torn between pleasure and fear.

Pleasure because the man on top of her was Kenshin. The one she cared about and loved. She wouldn't deny it any more, she loved Kenshin otherwise she wouldn't be doing this for him now.

And fear came from the memories of a certain night, in another place, in another time, with another man. It was a night of pain and screams. A night of savage kisses and bruising touches and while Kenshin elected from her soft moans and sighs, the other man made her cry in pain and scream in extreme agony.

Kaoru closed her eyes willing those images to disappear. She felt Kenshin move down and take her other breast in his mouth. She opened her eyes suddenly when she felt his knees push her legs further apart. Her sapphire eyes grew wide when he shifted his position between her legs.

Her heart raced and her breaths came in short pants.

_I'm scared._

No matter how much she loved Kenshin, she was not ready for this. Her hands fisted painfully and her wounded palm must have hurt but Kaoru paid no mind to the pain, she was only aware of Kenshin's movements. He moved again to kiss her lips and Kaoru knew the moment he broke the kiss was the moment this whole thing would be taken to another level, he would remove his clothes and then...

She felt both his hands move to hers as he pulled them up and forced them on either side of her head. Their fingers entwined briefly before Kenshin seized her wrists harshly. His mouth was starting to trail soft kisses on her chin going down slowly while his right hand released her wrist and his fingers traced small circles on her still bandaged palm. Then he unconsciously pressed his fingers hard, too hard, on her injured palm making Kaoru cry in pain loudly, louder than she intended. It was more of a scream.

As if he was struck by something, Kenshin ceased his movements.

He raised his head and stared down at Kaoru.

"Kaoru..." he whispered, wide-eyed.

Kaoru's breath came in painful gasps and her heart was beating wildly as she gazed at Kenshin. Her midnight tresses were fanned around her and her eyes were glistering with, what Kenshin assumed un-shed tears.

If Kenshin was not so shocked, he would notice how beautiful she looked.

Kenshin took in her state of undress as he slowly moved away and rose to his feet.

_Not again. _He thought, remembering the other night near the tree.

"Kaoru I..."

"No Kenshin" Kaoru cut him off. She moved her body to a sitting position while she clutched the front of her kimono to cover herself "you did not hurt me, don't bla...ahh" an unintentional soft cry escaped her lips when she was about to stand and unconsciously pressed her left palm to the wooden ground. Kaoru cursed herself for her weakness as she saw the guilt assailed Kenshin's face.

She forced herself to stand in front of Kenshin.

"I was going to...rape you...again" he whispered.

Kaoru shook her head "no you weren't, don't blame yourself" she moved closer to him "I did not stop you, I wanted you to touch me..." Kaoru trailed off when she noticed a small smile forming on his lips. She did not like that smile, it was sad and full of pain.

She wanted to take away his pain.

"No Kaoru you didn't" the sad smile was still there when he reached his hand and touch the scar on her neck "you were bleeding" when he withdrew his hand there was blood on two of his fingers.

Her blood.

Kaoru touched the scar herself and when she looked at her hand, she saw blood. It wasn't as much as last time, but it was there nonetheless.

Kaoru bowed her head "I'm sorry"

Kenshin walked past her, as though she had not spoken "your wounds must be treated"

His voice was cold.

* * *

No words were exchanged between Kenshin and Kaoru while he treated and bandaged her wounded palm. She was dressed in his sleeping yakuta for she could not tie her obi with her bleeding hand. The wound had been reopened when Kenshin dug his fingers in it, so he had to clean it or it would get infected. Her neck had already been bandaged because Kaoru insisted to cover it quickly.

Kenshin did not utter a single word and he did not even look at her. He only kept his eyes focused on her hand.

The silence was making Kaoru nervous.

After finishing the task, Kenshin rose to his feet and walked to the end of the room. He bent down to place the box, which contained his treatment supplies, on its usual place.

"You can go now," he said as he stood, his back to her "I won't force you to sleep here tonight."

Kaoru did not give any reply to that, though he heard her coming closer to him and stopping directly behind him.

"I won't be going any where," her voice was soft but firm, she moved closer and her hands circled his body from behind "I want to be here.." she rested her head on his back "with you"

Kenshin did not move, he did not even speak. Shock was written all over his handsome features.

This wasn't how she was supposed to react, she should be repulsed by him, she should desert him not hug him and snuggle to him the way she was doing now.

Kenshin stood still and unmoving. And as he heard her soft breaths and felt the rhythmic beatings of her heart, he realized something.

He was in love.

* * *

Next day.

As usual Kaoru had awakened to see that Kenshin wasn't there. So she folded the futon, changed into her kimono and went down stairs.

As she headed to the main building, she met Kenshin in the yard. Kaoru walked to him and smiled "Good morning, Kenshin"

His response was to nod briefly.

"Did you have your breakfast?" she asked, in attempt to start a normal conversation with him.

"Ah"

Kaoru sighed inwardly. _This is more difficult than I've expected._

When she was about to speak again, she saw that Kenshin was looking past her so Kaoru turned around to see Katsura approaching them.

"Good morning Himura-san, Kamiya-san" he greeted them.

"Good morning Katsura-san" came Kaoru's cheerful reply. And Kenshin only bowed briefly as a reply.

"I'm glad to see you together" he smiled at Kenshin, remembering their previous conversation "eh…the weather is awful these days, winter is already here" he gazed up at the grey sky.

"It looks that it will rain soon," Kaoru added bleakly "I hate rain."

"I share your feelings, Kamiya-san" Katsura said, looking at Kenshin now "I need to talk to you"

Kenshin nodded toward Katsura, who suddenly looked too serious.

Katsura's calm eyes averted to Kaoru and he was going to say something before Kaoru cut him off.

"I'm going with you two" Kaoru said fiercely surprising the two men.

Inwardly she was remembering the state Kenshin was in last night. She had no idea what exactly she could do, but she wanted to hear what Katsura had to say. "I want to hear what you have to say to Kenshin" she demanded.

"Kaoru" Kenshin hissed at her.

Kaoru ignored him keeping her eyes on Katsura.

Kenshin, angry at being ignored, reached his hand and seized Kaoru's wrist "stay out of this, Kaoru, it's none of your concern"

"What do you mean this is none of my concern?" she snapped at him "I don't want..." her words were interrupted when she heard the amused laughter of Katsura.

"My, my, Kamiya-san you are a fierce and brave girl," he smiled at her "I've never seen anyone talking to Himura like that and getting out of it unharmed," now he turned to Kenshin "you have really chosen well."

"Katsura-san!!"

Katsura laughed again at Kenshin's expression, then he walked to Kaoru and put one hand on her shoulder "before you...hmmm…unintentionally interrupted me I was going to invite to join us," he squeezed her shoulder lightly "this concerns you too."

Both of Kenshin and Kaoru were looking at him now, but Kaoru averted her eyes after few moments, feeling embarrassed.

"But of course we can't discuss it out here in this cold weather, let us go inside."

* * *

"I will do it!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"Katsura-san, she can't!" Kenshin protested.

Those were the two different reactions after Katsura had told them about what they needed to do the day after tomorrow. Katsura would have to attend a dinner party with one of the opposing parties and he needed Kenshin's protection. However, Kenshin must not act as a personal guard but as one of his minor supporters because this, according to Katsura, would take the attention away from Kenshin. It wasn't a dangerous mission; Katsura could have taken any other man instead of Kenshin. However, what he did not tell them that this was an attempt from Katsura to make Kenshin relax even for a day. It wasn't as though Katsura had no other matters to attend do, but things are quite these days and Katsura suspected that it was a calmness before the storm, so Kenshin needed some rest. And Kaoru's present was necessary.

"Kamiya-san will act as your fiancée or wife," he spoke to Kenshin "I will leave you to choose that yourself" he added with a smile.

"Katsura-san, I'm sure there are other ways to do this," Kenshin persisted "Kaoru can't come."

"Stop assuming what I can and can't do Kenshin" Kaoru snapped "I said I will do it."

Kenshin glared at her "what do you know, Kaoru? We are not going to have fun, this is a serious matter."

"I know that, that's why I want to go, I want to help."

"Your help is not needed" his angry glare did not falter, even when a look of hurt passed Kaoru's face briefly.

Katsura's loud sigh sounded in the room as he stood "you two sound like a married couple already," he smiled at their shocked faces "I will leave you to sort this out, and Kamiya-san if you manage to convince Himura-san, which I'm sure you will, speak to Ayami-san who will gladly assist you in the preparations."

"Thank you, Katsura-san" Katsura nodded as a reply before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Once Katsura was out, an uncomfortable silence settled upon them.

"You won't be going, Kaoru" Kenshin's voice, which was colder than the wind outside, broke the silence.

"Stop telling me what to do" it was Kaoru's turn to glare at him "I want to go."

"You don't understand, it is dangerous."

"I do understand the risks, that's why I want to be with you. And I'm sure Katsura would not have asked me to come along if it was too dangerous."

"We could get attacked on the road."

"I will defend myself, I will find a way."

_She is so stubborn. _Kenshin gritted his teeth "listen, I want you to go to Katsura and tell him that your hands are hurting so you can't go."

"No I won't," Kaoru turned her head and crossed her hands over her chest.

Kenshin clenched his fists "Kaoru..." he warned. She was testing his patience and Kenshin couldn't recall the last time he was this angry.

Kaoru rose to her feet suddenly and walked past his sitting form "you won't scare me into changing my opinion, Kenshin," she stopped near the door her back to him "you once said that I'm your woman, so as your woman" she turned to him now "I will follow you and accept the risks. This means I will go whether you want it or not" with those words she trotted out of the room smiling triumphantly.

_Maybe, just maybe, my old self is still alive within me.

* * *

_

So how was it?? please tell me if I'm moving too fast or slow? One reviewer asked me where I'm heading with this fic and about the end, well about the first question this a dark story and to be honest the real angst has yet to begin (laughs evilly) hehe I love angst fics. And about the ending, it is already planned out and this is all I'm going to say about it since it's toooooooo early

* * *


	9. Proof of Love

Hello everyone, long time no see. I'm sure some of you wondered where the hell I was, well I can't say I have an acceptable excuse. But I will say it anyway. My intentions were to update about two weeks ago, but what happened was that on the same time, I picked a book, I must say a large one, and ever since I could not put it down. Saying that it was the best book I've ever read won't do it any just. I'm still shaking with the aftermath impact this book had on me. I'm a bookworm, I admit, I have a passion for reading. :D

Anyway, here is a long chapter, which will hopefully compensate for the long absence.

Just a simple note on this chapter: I love the colour red!!

* * *

Chapter 9: Proof of love

The day of the gathering had come and, as previously appointed, a carriage was waiting outside the inn. Kenshin and Katsura were the first to finish their preparations and were waiting patiently near the carriage for Kaoru.

Kenshin, though appeared calm and indifferent from the outside, was silently hoping that Kaoru had changed her opinion at the last minuet. They had not spoken at all yesterday, indeed Kenshin was mad at her for disobeying him.

"Relax, Himura-san" Katsura's cheerful voice interrupted his thoughts "she will be here any minute."

Kenshin sighed, he was certain that Katsura was teasing him.

"Just for today, Himura-san I want you to put your mind at ease" Katsura continued.

"I have to protect you, Katsura-san, this is my duty"

"I know, I know, but as I've already told you, Sasaki Suguru isn't a great enemy, he is weak. So try to enjoy your time with Kamiya-san."

"There is no place for women in the mission."

Katsura gave a laugh "you would be surprise at the number of women in Sasaki's place and," this time he smiled and appeared to look past Kenshin "I must admit, you might be distracted from your duty tonight."

Kenshin span around upon hearing those words. And for a moment he froze, his golden eyes fixed on the beautiful woman who had just appeared at the gate.

He took in her looks, she was wearing a crimson silky kimono, which framed her slender form perfectly while allowing some glimpse of her curves. The kimono was embroidered with golden thread, making a prefect match with the overall crimson colour. Her midnight tresses were held up by a large golden pin. A woman, whom Kenshin recognized as one of Katsura's acquaintances, was standing next to Kaoru, smiling proudly at her. As for Kaoru, she averted her gaze when she felt Kenshin's burning eyes on her.

Katsura, seeing that Kenshin was not about to move, walked to Kaoru and took her arm.

"You look so dazzling, Kamiya-san," he turned to the other woman and smiled warmly "you did a great job, Ikumatsu" he said before turning to Kenshin "aren't you going to say anything, Himura-san?"

Now, Kaoru stared at Kenshin, who was looking at Katsura after he spoke.

"We should be going, Katsura-san" with that he opened the carriage's door and entered quickly.

* * *

Although Katsura had said that the party would be held by one of his minor opposer, he must have forgotten to mention how rich this opposer was. Kaoru looked around her in astonishment as she came in with Kenshin. Geishas were everywhere chatting and laughing with the guests, while others played the harp in a great demonstration of their skills. Other women, who Kaoru assumed were either the wives or mistresses of those political important figures, wore beautiful kimonos and dazzling hair pins. A woman led Kaoru and Kenshin to their place, while Katsura led by another was ushered to the head of the room to join other men where no doubt, Kaoru thought, political matters would be discussed.

On the other hand, Kenshin was looking straight ahead with an impassive face, clearly not as impressed as Kaoru. Once seated, a geisha came and poured Sake for both of them. Kaoru thanked her with a smile while Kenshin proceeded to drink in silence.

Kaoru glanced at Kenshin, who had not utter a single word to her, with questioning eyes. The latter did not so much as stare at her, he kept looking on Katsura's direction, undoubtedly doing his duty as his protector.

Kaoru sighed. _He is mad at me._

"Kenshin, are you...?" Kaoru began but was interrupted by another familiar voice.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru looked up at the figure who loomed over her.

"Oh! It's really you Kaoru-chan"

"Okita-san!" Kaoru said, surprised to see the young man here "what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," he replied as he knelt beside her "but I must admit I almost did not recognize you, you look so beautiful" he finished with a smile.

Kaoru blushed and was about to thank him when she heard a faint thud on the low table. She turned toward Kenshin, who had slammed his shallow cup on the table. His stern, piercing eyes were directed on Okita, who only smiled in response to his penetrating gaze.

"Ah, Okita-san, this is Ken.."

"Yes, your friend Kenshin, the good swordsman, whom I had the pleasure to fight," he smiled at Kenshin "I'm pleased to meet you again"

Kenshin merely glanced at Okita without acknowledgment.

"Kenshin, that wasn't polite of you"

"It's alright Kaoru-chan" Okita said, settling next to Kaoru where he could face Kenshin directly "I, myself, have not been offended."

Kaoru shot Kenshin a glare, which might have made Yahiko tremble with fear, but not Kenshin, who only held the cup and drank some more _sake_.

Seeing his indifference, Kaoru took her cup and offered it to Okita "here, Okita-san," she said "you can have my cup."

"Thank you," he responded and accepted the drink, but not without noticing her hands "Kaoru-chan what is wrong with you hands?"

"Oh, this?" she looked at her bandaged palms "it was an accident...in the kitchen, nothing serious."

"How odd," Okita said casually as he sipped the liquid "I did not notice them when I last saw you, was it yesterday? Or the day before?"

The blood drained from Kaoru's face upon hearing those words, making her pale. She did not want to look at Kenshin but she forced her head to turn toward him and immediately wished she hadn't.

His amber eyes shone with raw fury and were intense with anger.

And it was directed at her.

"Yesterday or the day before" he repeated with a calm voice that betrayed repressed anger "what is that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

Kaoru tried to speak but her throat was dry.

"What's wrong?" Okita asked innocently "you did not know that Kaoru had paid me a visit?"

"You went to his house?" Kenshin said through clenched teeth "again"

"Kenshin please not now" she pleaded "I will explain everything to you later."

"Answer me, did you go to his house?"

Kaoru tried to master her strength to reply. It wasn't that she was afraid of Kenshin, what scared her was his reaction among all these people, who did not seem to notice them. But after few moments she answered simply "yes".

Kenshin did not speak or move, he only glared at Kaoru. To anyone, he seemed indifferent about her reply, however, Kaoru knew better. His amber eyes conveyed his emotions as clear as the sun and what those eyes told her was not comforting at all.

His eyes spoke of fury.

Then he abruptly stood without breaking the eye-contact with Kaoru.

"Come" he ordered in a calm voice.

Kaoru obeyed without any objection and followed him without looking back at Okita, who had observed the charged interaction with a smile.

* * *

A sharp, cold breeze was whining through the naked branches, yet cold sweat covered Kaoru's brow as she stared at Kenshin's back. They were outside in the host's garden and Kenshin hadn't said anything since they had stopped in this spot five minuets ago.

Kaoru, unable to bear the silence any longer, spoke first.

"Kenshin, listen please, I only went to Okita's because I was worried, he seemed..."

"I don't care about you excuses," he interrupted her sternly, turning to face her "the fact which remains is that you went to his house."

"But, he is my friend" Kaoru tried to reason with him.

"He is nothing!" Kenshin snapped "I don't want you to see him."

"That was little bit harsh, don't you think?" a third voice added.

It was Okita agian, he stood on the porch staring at Kenshin.

"Okita, please this is not the time" Kaoru said.

"Besides," Okita continued, ignoring Kaoru "you can't order Kaoru around, you don't own her."

Kaoru looked from Okita to Kenshin, who calmly stepped forward and said: "that's where you are wrong, Kaoru belongs to me, she is my woman."

Kaoru's eyes were wide as she stared at Kenshin, while Okita did not seem the least affected by his words.

"That's strange," he placed his hand on his chin as if to recall some distant memory "if my memory does not fail me, I remember Kaoru telling me that you are a mere friend of her, nothing more."

Kenshin remained motionless, turning to Kaoru and looking at her with with calm eyes that made her think it would have been better if he shouted and screamed at her.

"A mere friend..." he said softly, echoing Okita's words "then there is nothing more to say."

"Kenshin" Kaoru said as she watched him starting to walk toward the main house.

Kenshin Ignored her and kept walking, he passed Okita without looking at him and into the corridor.

Kaoru called his name again and started after him, but as she went past Okita, he held her arm.

"Kaoru"

"Okita, please" she tried to pry her arm free "this is not the time."

"Kaoru, I have only said the truth, right?" he asked, in a strange tone, if Kaoru wasn't distracted by her thoughts of Kenshin she would have detected the desperate tone "I have only repeated what you've told me, he is _only_ your friend, is he not?"

"No, no!" Kaoru shook her head "he is not only a friend, I love him, I love him with all my heart!"

Okita seemed shock for a moment, only a moment before relinquishing his hold on her arm and taking a step backward, lowering his head.

"You love him, eh?" he said in a low whisper that Kaoru almost did not hear his words.

Kaoru tried to peer into his face, to have a glimpse of his expression but his head was inclined downward and his brown bangs covered his eyes.

"Okita..." she breathed and was about to reach her hand to him when he raised his head, with a smile on his face.

"Kaoru-chan," he said "there is really nothing more to say" he bowed curtly to her before walking the opposite direction. However, he stopped after four steps, turning to Kaoru with the same smile on his lips "one last thing, Kaoru," he said "I shall be seeing you soon" without giving her any chance to reply he walked away.

Kaoru stared puzzledly after him. She was confused by his words, and most of all by his smile, which was suddenly different than before.

Somehow, this smile was cold and distant.

* * *

Unlike the journey to the gathering, the one back to the inn was quiet. Katsura was strangely silent. It was obvious that he was disturbed by something. Kenshin and Kaoru were setting next to each other in the carriage opposite to Katsura and both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Kaoru had no doubt that if Kenshin was only mad at her before the party, now he was furious. Still, she did not utter a single word, preferring to discuss the matter later on. As for Kenshin, though the encounter between him and Okita was still fresh in his mind, he had other more important things to worry about. He was staring sharply outside the carriage's window, all his senses were alarmed. So far everything had gone smoothly, but despite that, Kenshin would not relax till they reach the inn. Kenshin gazed at one of the Ishin shinshi's soldiers, who was riding horses along-side the carriage. There were four such soldiers, so that made them five men capable of fighting, including himself.

Just then, when Kenshin was occupied with these thoughts, a sound, which was similar to cracking of wood, echoed through the night and soon after, the carriage was suddenly shaking violently and leaning to the right, where Kenshin was sitting.

The right wheel had been broken.

The two horses neighed loudly as they felt the difficultly of dragging the carriage any longer, before they came to a complete stop by the effort of the driver.

Kaoru, unable to maintain her balance, slid along the seat and found herself on top of Kenshin, who was pressed against the wooden wall of the carriage.

The soldiers, immediately dismounted and hurried to the broken carriage to help their master out. But Kenshin, after helping Kaoru to regain her balance, gripped the wooden edge of the bench and kicked the door open.

"Are you alright?" one of the men shouted from the outside.

"Yes, yes" Katsura replied as he was helped by one of the men out.

When Kenshin was out of the carriage, he extended his hand toward Kaoru to help her out. Their eyes met for a moment before Kaoru grasped his hand. His expression was unreadable.

"What an inconvenient accident" Katsura muttered once they were outside.

"It was no accident" Kenshin replied firmly as he knelt in front of the wheel and inspected it. He noticed that one of the iron screws was missing, it either went missing on the road or someone had removed it intentionally. Kenshin's instincts approved of the later option.

"If it wasn't an accident," this time it was Kaoru who had spoken "then this means..."

"This means it's an ambush" Kenshin cut her off and to justify his words he stood up and turned the other direction "they are here."

Indeed there, approximately fifteen paces away, were some soldiers on the opposite direction, that is the direction of their inn.

Shinsen gumi soldiers.

And they planned to cut their way to the inn.

Kenshin glared at them, there was about twenty or more of the enemy, which means that they were seriously outnumbered. Kenshin stared sideways at Katsura. _I have to protect Katsura at all costs and... _his eyes settled on Kaoru who was gazing worriedly at the enemy.

"Kazuki" he called one of the four horsemen "stay here and protect Katsura"

"Hai!"

"As for the rest.." he unsheathed his sword and glanced one last time at Kaoru "we fight!" he cried loudly before charging at the enemy. The other three encouraged by Kenshin, ran after him.

And the slaughter began.

One Shinsen gumi soldier, braver than the rest, ran to meet Kenshin, but paid for this display to bravery with his life, for Kenshin plunged the blade into his heart and kicked the screaming figure hard to the ground.

The rest of the Shinsen gumi were taken aback by Kenshin's wild charge, and for a moment they remained motionless, staring at him.

Kenshin stepped calmly toward them, blood dripping off his sword. To his enemy, his amber eyes seemed to glow in the dark. Some soldiers stepped back instinctively, awed by this red haired demon, for they had been warned about him previously.

"He...he is only..a single person" one of them tried encourage the rest.

"Yes..yes..we can kill him, let's kill him" another one said.

Yet, no one moved.

"Come, and meet your death" Kenshin said in a voice colder than his steel blade, before whipping the blade in the air.

Kaoru was looking anxiously at Kenshin. _He can't take them alone, it's so dangerous. _She could see that the enemy was hesitating despite their number privilege. There was nothing more she hoped for than that fear would make them retreat, so Kenshin wouldn't have to fight.

But fate was against her.

"ATTACK!" a voice, so loud, so firm, so resolute echoed through the dark night.

Kaoru felt an icy chill running down her spine upon hearing that voice, she stared franticly around looking for the source of this voice.

Then a man emerged from the shadows of one of the nearby alleys.

Kaoru's eyes were wide as she stared at him.

It was the cloaked figure. He was still clad in that black cloak, which prevented her from seeing his face.

"Attack" he repeated to Shinsen gumi's members, and Kaoru had to struggle to hear his voice this time.

The soldiers, as if encouraged by the mere presence of this man, charged forcefully.

Kenshin and his three companions received them with an equally forceful defence. They stayed closer to each others, forming a semi-circle to repel the enemy's attack.

Most of the enemy's soldiers clustered close to Kenshin, for they knew that if he was to fall then all would be won. One of them thrust at him, but Kenshin blocked the lunge easily and slashed his blade across the man's chest. The man cried out in pain and fell by Kenshin's feet. Kenshin kicked his body and engaged another man.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru called his name warily.

Suddenly, as if he was awaken by the mere sound of her voice, the dark figure whipped his head toward her and he advanced.

To her direction.

Kaoru, who was standing next to Katsura, wrapped her arms around herself and took one pace backwards.

"Kamiya-san..." Katsura looked worriedly at her before turning toward the advancing figure.

"Don't worry, Katsura-sama" the man whose name was Kazuki said "I will kill him" and when the mysterious man was near, the soldier lunged at him.

The unknown man evaded easily, so Kazuki renewed his attack, but this time the dark figure manoeuvred and grasped his hand painfully before delivering a harsh kick on his abdomen. Kazuki doubled over in pain and the figure kicked him again, this time on the chin, sending him hard on the ground. The sword fell off Kazuki's hand and the dark figure did not waste any time seizing it.

Through this encounter, Kaoru struggled to see the cloaked man's face, but the dark night did not help to illuminate his features, even his smirk was barely visible in the feeble moon light.

Kenshin's attention was momentarily distracted by the the sight of the cloaked figure near Katsura and Kaoru. And his eyes went wide slightly when he noticed that Kazuki was on the ground and his sword was in the hand of the enemy. But he had to shun the attack of an advancing soldier, so he forced his attention back to to Shinsen gumi's soldiers.

Meanwhile, Katsura stared from the cloaked man to his soldier. The dark figure calmly circled the fallen Kazuki, as if he had all the time in the world.

Kazuki raised his head toward Katsura "run..Ka..Katsura-sama...ru.." he had no time to finish his words for the cloaked man rammed his blade on the back of Kazuki's neck. Killing him instantly.

Kaoru was trembling uncontrollably, her eyes were wide and her whole form shuddered as see saw the clocked man advancing toward them.

"Run, Kamiya-san," Katsura said, grabbing his sheathed sword "I will fight him, this will give you sometime to get away from here."

But Kaoru's feet were so rigid that she thought they would break like wood if she was to move them. So she remained fixed on her position, despite Katsura's urgings.

"Their leader will die" one of Shinsen gumi's members, who was near Kenshin, said enthusiastically.

"Ishin shinshi is over, we will win" another exclaimed.

Kenshin hacked and slashed at them with a force that, in spite of their joy, the enemy was shrinking from this killing creature, which appeared as a demon from nightmares. Kenshin's face and clothes were covered with blood, which gave him a frightful look, specially that the Shinsen gumi knew, more than anyone, that the blood was not his.

The cloaked figure was so near Katsura that some of the enemy's soldiers stopped their advancing, anticipating the moment of glory.

"We have to break them!" Kenshin shouted "we have to reach Katsura!"

Though a considerable number of the enemy were dead or wounded, more than half of them were still alive.

On the meantime, Katsura prepared to meet the enemy, he had heard and saw Kenshin's struggling to break the enemy, but they were still outnumbered. So Katsura was alone now. And he won't go down easily.

The cloaked figure was near, and Katsura could see the smirk, which seemed to be glued on his face, under the shadow of the black hood. Katsura's hand tightened around his still unsheathed sword. _I had promised not to wield it ever again, but..._

Now the unknown man was two paces away from Katsura. However, instead of stopping in front of Ishin Shishi's leader, he walked past him and stopped directly in front of Kaoru.

Kaoru was frozen on her spot as she looked up at the tall figure before her, the big hood covered his hair and eyes completely. His mouth curved upward before extending his hand and grasping her chin roughly. And the next thing he did, took everyone by surprise.

He bent over the shocked girl and pressed his lips hard on hers.

He kissed her.

Time seemed to stop for everyone who witnessed this scene. Kenshin's, Katsura's, the enemy's and everyone's eyes were fixed on that peculiar scene.

Shinsen gumi's members stared silently with opened mouths at the man who was supposed to kill Katsura. This same man was kissing some girl instead of doing his job.

Kaoru was the first to break the the silence.

"NO!" she screamed as she pushed the man away and she took unbalanced steps backwards before stumbling and falling to the ground, still repeating the same word "no, no, no..."

Kenshin suddenly gave a great roar which was carried across the cold night before running toward Katsura and Kaoru. A man tried to block his way, but Kenshin, with a single slash of his sword, beheaded him immediately. His eyes were burning with wild fury, which dared anyone to come on his path and challenge him. When he reached the cloaked man, who was still staring down at Kaoru, he lunged blindly at him. The cloaked figure swiftly span around and parried Kenshin's attack. Again, Kenshin swept his sword at him, trying to slash across his abdomen. And Again, the man dodged Kenshin's attack. He was not bothering to fight back, he was merely dodging and parrying Kenshin's furious, and almost blind, lunges.

"Himura behind you!" Katsura cried out when he saw one of Shinsen gumi's member trying to attack Kenshin from behind.

Kenshin almost reflexly manoeuvred to avoid the enemy's blade, but he was a moment too late. The enemy's sword slashed Kenshin across his right side. The sudden pain made Kenshin clench his teeth and hiss in pain.

At this moment, Kaoru was driven out of her trance and she cried out Kenshin's name when she saw blood, soaking his right side.

The soldier who had wounded him, lunged a second time to finish Kenshin, who was on one knee clutching his side. And just as the enemy raised his sword to strike the wounded assassin, Kenshin thrust his, now crimson, sword into the man throat swiftly.

The man made a choking sound, blood running out of his mouth, before falling backwards.

Kaoru ran to Kenshin's side.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru said in a choked voice, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears which were forming at the corner of her eyes.

Kenshin was breathing heavily, his head bent and his shoulders slumped down "it's...not over yet...Kaoru" and he looked up at two soldiers advancing toward them. Kenshin plunged his sword vertically on the ground to support himself as he stood to receive the enemy.

"RETREAT!" the cloaked man's voice sounded again.

Shinsen gumi's soldiers looked astonishingly at the cloaked man.

"What?" one of them said "we can't retreat, the assassin is wounded, we can defeat him."

The cloaked man turned his head to the one who had spoken, before advancing toward him. He grasped the man by the hem of his gi and whispered dangerously: "I won't repeat my order twice, and you would do good to heed them."

The man was astounded at the overwhelming tone in which the figure spoke.

"Fine" he said after few moments "we shall obey."

"Good" the mysterious man replied with a smirk as he released the man and made some movements to straighten the now wrinkled gi of the soldier. Then, casting a brief glance toward the only woman in this place, he was the first one to move, then was followed by what remained of Shinsen gumi's members.

When they disappeared into the night, Kenshin's feet gave away under him and he fell to the ground, into Kaoru's arms.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried "no...please" tears rolled freely down her cheeks.

"I'm fine...it's nothing" Kenshin said in a shaking voice, his eyes half closed "I will be fine..."

Katsura observed them silently with a sad expression before turning toward his men. Two of them had died out of the five and one had been wounded. The enemy could have finished them easily but why was he still alive?

* * *

That same night, in Kenshin's room.

A physician had already seen him and treated the wound, which was not, to Kaoru's relief, deep or fatal. Kaoru was re-bandaging the wound more securely.

Meanwhile, Kenshin, stripped to waste, was silently observing Kaoru. Her eyes were hidden under her raven bangs, though he could feel her trembling hands as she attended to his wound. When she secured the bandage, he placed his hand on hers, making her look at him. Then, raising her delicate hand to his lips, he pressed his lips on her hand, kissing it softly.

"You are trembling," he murmured against her soft hand "are you cold, Kaoru?"

"I..yes just a little" she lied.

"Who was that man?" Kenshin asked, straight to the point.

Kaoru shuddered as she remembered the cloaked figure "I don't know Kenshin, I really don't" this was true, Kaoru did not see the man's face under the black hood and the dark night did not illuminate his face. When he had kissed her, her mind had screamed _Enishi, Enishi, Enishi_, Kaoru had been too shocked to concentrate on his face. And, Kaoru thought that it was impossible, he was not in this time, not in that age anyway. She was brought out of her deep thinking when she felt Kenshin lips on the tip of her fingers. Kaoru's eyes soften as she looked at him.

He was wounded because of her, though it wasn't serious wound, it could have been worse. She extended her free hand and touched his cheek.

"Kenshin," she said when he looked at her "I'm sorry."

A confused look passed Kenshin's face briefly, before he took her meaning. "Kaoru," he said as he pulled her gently toward him "don't apologize" he hugged her tightly against his chest.

"But you got wounded because of me" Kaoru wrapped her arms around him, careful not to touch his wound.

"No, it was my carelessness that led to this, but it shall never happen again" he replied firmly "and that man, whoever he is, shall die for touching you."

Kaoru winced at the mention of killing, but she did not say anything.

They stay comfortably in each others arms for few more minuets, before Kaoru rose to her feet and went to prepare the futon.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said when Kenshin was about to put his gi on "you have to sleep on the futon today, your body should not be strained"

Kenshin shook his head curtly "I can sleep comfortably without the need to lay down."

"Please Kenshin, just for today, you need to rest."

Kenshin considered this for a moment, then he gave a hint of a smile, staring at Kaoru "and where will _you _sleep?"

Kaoru blushed, thinking about what her request must have implied "hmmm..I..I shall sleep sitting against the wall like you usually do."

"No, that won't do."

"It's fine Kenshin, I'm not injured, you are the one who must sleep on the futon."

"Fine, I will sleep on the futon."

Kaoru clasped her hands together, delighted in having convinced him to lay down for this night, but her happiness was short lived because Kenshin continued.

"But..."

"But..." Kaoru repeated.

"On one condition."

"And that is.."

"On the condition that you sleep next to me, on the same futon" he finished with a small smirk.

Blood rushed to Kaoru's cheeks upon hearing his condition.

"Kenshin!!" she exclaimed.

Kenshin walked to her and slid one hand around her waist, bringing her closer to his body "you don't need to be afraid Kaoru, I won't force you into anything" he pressed his mouth against hers softly.

Kaoru kissed him back, eager to erase the traces of the other man's kiss. In her mind, she was contemplating his offer. Of course she felt nervous about the prospect of sleeping next to Kenshin, but she trusted him and above all, she knew that his body needs to rest and if sleeping next to him was the only way to make him sleep like other people, so be it.

Kaoru withdrew her mouth and whispered the word "yes" softly.

Kenshin's respond was to plant a soft kiss on her forehead and release her in order to change into his sleeping yakata.

Kaoru was already wearing one, which was also Kenshin's, so she went to the futon and laid down, brining the blanket almost to her head to give Kenshin some privacy to change.

Kaoru's face was flushed and her pulse was racing when she felt him laying behind her. Now the room was dark and silent, and Kaoru was afraid that Kenshin could hear the wild beating of her heart. For a moment nothing happened, Kenshin was laying on his back motionless, while Kaoru rested on her side, her back to him. Then she felt him move closer to her, before a strong arm circled her waist, bringing her closer to his body. Her back was now pressed against his chest.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru breathed.

"It's alright," Kaoru could feel his warm breath tickling her ear "I just want to be closer to you."

"But your wound"

"It doesn't hurt, I'm adequately comfortable now" he moved his head and kissed her cheek "relax Kaoru, you trust me, right?"

"Yes Kenshin, I trust you" Kaoru replied, meaning every word.

* * *

The next morning, Kaoru opened her eyes slowly, trying to become accustomed to the bright light of the sun. She moved her head slowly to the right, expecting Kenshin to be absent as usual, however, to her surprise, he was still next to her, sleeping soundly.

Kaoru smiled as she observed him. His handsome face was framed perfectly by his loose crimson hair, his breath was even and he appeared to be in deep, peaceful sleep.

_He must be tired._

Kaoru did not dare to move, afraid that the slightest movement would stir him out of sleep. So she remained motionless reflecting last night's event, not the attack, but the party itself. In particular she thought about Okita. Kenshin had been angry after hearing Okita's words and despite that, he had not mentioned anything about it. Kaoru deeply regretted what she had told Okita about Kenshin, that he was a mere friend. Back then, she hadn't been sure about her feelings herself. But now, this moment, she was entirely confident about how she felt toward Kenshin.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she edged toward Kenshin, snuggling closer to his warm body.

* * *

For the next three days, Kaoru took care of Kenshin attentively. At the same time, because her hands were more or less healed, she resumed her work in helping the other women. As for Kenshin, he asked Katsura to allow him back to his duties, but Katsura refused him this request on the grounds that his wound was not fully healed yet. Unlike Kenshin, Kaoru was pleased with this refusal because she, more than anyone, knew how much he needed to rest.

During those days, Kaoru had successfully convinced Kenshin to sleep on the futon and each time he agreed with the condition that she slept next to him. Kaoru, though reluctant at first, had gotten used to the feeling of his body next to hers. She felt safe and secure, as if nothing on the world could hurt her if she was close to him.

Kenshin appeared content with only being close to her and showering her with kisses, which Kaoru received happily.

That was until the fourth night.

Kaoru was laying on her back, wearing the usual white sleeping yakata, while Kenshin, resting on one elbow, was planting brief kisses on her her chin moving up slowly to her mouth.

"Kaoru..." he breathed against her mouth.

"Hmmm..." this came as a soft moan. Kaoru was lost in the sensation which Kenshin plunged her in, whenever he kissed or touched her.

"Kaoru," Kenshin repeated as he moved down to her neck, which was still bandaged, breathing her lovely scent "I want you...I want you...Kaoru"

Upon hearing these words, Kaoru opened her eyes, looking at Kenshin, who was busy kissing her collarbone. This was the first time he spoke these words, though his tone was calm and serene, there almost something desperate about it.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered.

When he heard her voice, Kenshin moved his head above her face, gazing directly into her sapphire orbs.

The room was dimly illuminated by few candles, but Kaoru could see his dazzling amber eyes which portrayed deep emotions. Her left hand moved on its own accord and caressed his cheek tenderly.

"I want you," he repeated "for the past few days, being close to you has been driving me crazy" the fire in his pupils seemed to reach such a degree that Kaoru felt it within the depth of her heart.

This was the man whom she loved, this was the man whom she would do anything for. Yet if Kaoru had been a normal girl, if she hadn't been sexually abused, she would have given herself to Kenshin. Kaoru thought that this was a sacrifice she had to make.

She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh.

_No, this isn't a sacrifice, this is a proof that I love him._

This time, it was Kaoru who raised herself slightly and kissed Kenshin before saying: "I'm yours Kenshin, mind and soul and...body"

As if these were the words Kenshin had been waiting for, he climbed on top of her and claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

In that small room, under the pale rays of the moon, two bodies merged, their hearts beating as one and their souls were bound by love, while in another part of Kyoto two other souls were plotting their destruction.

"You failed."

"I did not."

"What do you mean "you did not"? The assassin is still alive as far as I know and I can't see Kogoro in our cell."

"It's true I did not do any of those things you have just mentioned, but they weren't my objective anyway."

"What? Those were the orders, don't go around making your own scheme, the mission was a failure."

"On the contrary it was a success."

"Explain yourself."

"Soon, very soon, you will see the results yourself, I have confirmed something important."

"And what the devil is that which you've confirmed?"

"The girl, this girl, is the key, give me sometime and I shall bring down the whole Ishin shishi, just be patient my friend."

"I will give you time and nothing more."

"That is all I'm asking for."

* * *

This time Kenshin was the first to rouse from sleep. His lids flattered open and he stared for few moments at the ceiling before turning his head toward the window. The sun had yet to rise from the the east, but Kenshin assumed that dawn was near because the sky was not totally dark. Then he moved his head to the other direction and he couldn't help but to smile remembering last night.

He silently moved closer to the girl sleeping peacefully next to him. She was laying on her stomach, her head toward him and her raven hair fanned around her, and, under the cover she was as equally naked as he was.

Kenshin stroke her hair tenderly as he recalled their night together. Kaoru had been scared, that much was obvious. But Kenshin had done his best to assure her and drive away her fears. He had been gentle with her, his touches, kisses and everything had been done with extra gentleness to calm her.

Soon afterwards, her fears were replaced by pleasure, a pleasure he had made her feel.

The smile on Kenshin's lips disappeared as he continued to look at her sleeping form. She was so innocent and inexperienced, and Kenshin loved her more for that. But he knew that her fears were the result of a forced experience. He had seen the marks himself. His eyes moved from her face to her back. Moving the cover further down, his eyes soften at the sight of her back. Those marks were burnt on her skin and Kenshin wondered if the man who inflected these scars was same man who had kissed her few days ago. He almost wished he was the same so he could give him a slow and painful death for what he had done to Kaoru. Kenshin's fingers started to trace the scars , it must have been painful for her, but knowing Kaoru, Kenshin was certain that she must have fought her torturer at first and refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her suffer. However, Kenshin assumed, eventually he had broken her. No man could stand this degree of torture, let alone a young girl like Kaoru.

His eyes settled on a certain scar on her shoulder, a scar he recognized too well because he had been the one who inflected it on her. This was the scar which she had received on the day they had first met, when she had thrown herself on his way.

As those thoughts were passing his mind, Kenshin felt her stir and smiled as her eyes were opened to reveal a pair of beautiful azure orbs.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru smiled dizzily when her eyes focused on him. Kenshin leaned closer and kissed her, but when she felt his hand on her back, she grasped the cover and pulled it up "don't look."

Kenshin's lips turned upward in a lope sided smile "I have done more than looking, Kaoru."

"No...but my back...it's..." Kaoru didn't find the words to describe her scarred back.

"Don't be ashamed," and he moved the blanket down "you are beautiful" to reinforce his point, Kenshin started to plant soft kisses on her back.

Kaoru smiled at the lovely feeling of his kisses on her skin.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said, when he was kissing her shoulder "thank you"

Kenshin stared at her confusingly.

"For last night" Kaoru continued shyly "it was different...different from before."

Kenshin, getting her meaning, kissed her temple before saying : "what we did last night was love-making, Kaoru. It's different from what that man had done to you."

Kaoru did not reply and Kenshin, not wanting to to say more about this painful subject, put a hand on her shoulder and urged her to turn on her back. He kissed her cross shaped scar making her moan.

"Kenshin, it's morning already" Kaoru breathed "we shouldn't..."

Kenshin moved to look at her before saying: "It's still early, Kaoru, we have plenty of time" and he captured her lips in a deep and ardent kiss.

* * *

So what do you think??

I promise that I will update sooner this time since I am excited about the next chapter. It's going to be a turning point, so look forward to it!!


	10. A Twist of Fate

Hi again, not so late this time, ne? I decided to work on this chapter before my next novel arrives and here it is. :D there are some comments as usual:

- Alwyzme thank you for your reviews, they are so inspiring and they give me some ideas here and there hehe, I really appreciate the time you spend writing them.

- Sosoru: don't worry I was not offended by your review. The problem is that after receiving your review I re-read the last chapter, and I admit I found some typing errors here and there, but you said some errors were confusing and made it hard to read, I did not see those errors. This lead me to an awful conclusion that I'm making some HUGE mistakes that I'm not aware of. So please, to Sosoru and anyone, if you read such errors just point them out and maybe give me an advice in how to correct it. I would really appreciate it.

- bbzachariah: you broke my heart when she said Kaoru resembles Tomoe in the last chap :'(...lol, Kaoru is much better as a character than Tomoe. And maybe some of you noticed that Kaoru's character in my story is very much like Kaoru in the Reflection OVA, I mean stubborn and strong yet calm and kind. (I still have this dream that the whole RK series will be reanimated to be similar to the OVAs. Now you can see how much I love angst. Hehe ) But don't worry Kaoru will have her time to shine ;-)

And I would like to thanks all who took the time to review, they are so encouraging.

Finally, two notes bout this chapter:

- I know nothing about Japanese religion whatsoever, whether they have a God or Gods, or whether they have hell or heaven. Seriously me is innocent .

- Warning: A disturbing scene is coming ahead.

* * *

Chapter 10: Twist of Fate

In one cloudy day, the kitchen was noisy with women's chattering and laughing. Some were cooking, some were cutting vegetables, others just talked and laughed.

But Kaoru, who was busy washing the breakfast's dishes, heard none of their voices. She had volunteered to do the whole dishes since she had missed her serving duty this morning and was now lost in her own world, remembering last night and glad that her back was to the all occupants of the kitchen because she could feel her cheeks burning at the memory.

She still could not believe that she had slept with Kenshin, she remembered that in her time all she had ever wanted of Kenshin was a look or maybe a kiss. But he, with all his polite attitude, had kept a constant distance between them. Well, that was until Enishi had come into their lives and after that the roles had been switched. It had been she who had kept a constant and long distance between herself and all those around her. However, here things were so different.

Kenshin was so different.

It was hard to believe that they were the same person. The Kenshin of this time, though insecure and taciturn, knew what he wanted and was very gentle. It's not like the older Kenshin was not gentle, on the contrary, he was polite and considerate with everyone, without any exception, however, Kenshin of this time reserved his gentleness for her alone. Everyone regarded him as a heartless assassin, only Kaoru, maybe Katsura too, knew the other side of him. As selfish as it sounded, Kaoru felt happy for this. It was as if she's the only person he could trust with his emotions.

"Kaoru-chan?"

Kaoru jumped slightly upon hearing her name before turning to the woman who called her.

"Kaoru-chan, I've been calling your name for the last few minutes."

"I'm sorry I did not hear you, Sazumi-san" Kaoru smiled sheepishly. _She must have thought I'm deaf._

"You have been day dreaming so often lately" another woman added "come, tell us what is occupying your mind" she laughed.

"Maybe it is a certain redhead swordsman?" Sazumi teased.

"Sazumi-san, what are you talking about?" Kaoru exclaimed as she pretended to dry her hand with the apron.

The two woman only laughed.

"That's may be true" Mizuki, who Kaoru recognized as one of her room mates, joined the conversation "you haven't slept in our room for few days."

"I was...was only taking care of his wound" Kaoru said, she was certain that she was blushing for the women kept smirking slyly at her.

"Oh dear Kaoru-chan, _you_ may only want to attend to his wound, but I doubt _he_ harbours the same intentions," Mizuki replied "we all have seen how he looks at you, during the serving" she winked at Kaoru.

Kaoru did not reply to that, she felt so embarrassed and speechless, for she knew what Mizuki had said was the truth, she, herself, saw the way Kenshin stared at her in more than one occasion.

_Kenshin you moron, look at what you are making me go through._

"Now, now girls leave the poor Kaoru alone" Ayami's, the landlady, voice sounded as lovely music to Kaoru's ears. She was saved "don't you have other more important matters to attend to?"

"Oh right, lunch should be served in an hour" Mizuki said "and I believe it's your turn today to serve, Kaoru-chan"

"Yeah about that, Mizuki-san, can you please take my turn?" Kaoru asked "I feel kinda tired, but I promise you I will repay this service."

"Tired? despite waking up late this morning!" she winked again at Kaoru and laughed when she saw Kaoru's expression "alright my dear Kaoru-chan I will take your turn, but I will hold you to your promise"

"Thank you, thank you" Kaoru smiled gratefully at her.

After finishing the dishes, Kaoru went to her room, the room which she shared with Mizuki. She had deliberately exchanged her turn with her, she did not want to see Kenshin now, specially not in front everyone. She felt embarrassed about the idea of seeing Kenshin again after they made love just the night before.

Kaoru started to unfold the futon and once done, she tugged at her ribbon and her raven hair came cascading down her back. Not bothering to change her kimono, she threw herself on the futon.

_I will sleep for an hour or two, that will do._

A pure oblivion descended upon her as soon as she closed her eyes, but not free of nightmares.

* * *

_The cold room was dark apart from two torches hanging by the door and a small fireplace which was located on the far end of the room. _

_She laid unmoving on the hard stone floor, her eyes were half opened. She could see a pair of foot walking in the field of her vision. But her body felt so weak and numb that all she could do was watch as it came closer. The pair of foot was covered in strange shoes, which were kinda unfamiliar to the girl, as were most of the things in this house. The walls were all made of thick, grey stones, in contrast to the wooden walls of her dojo, and she thought that they were designed to hide her screams and suffering from reaching the outside world. _

_The man stopped right in front of her tired form and knelt. _

_The girl, which was laying on her right side, did not move or flinch when he extended his hand and brushed a strand of raven hair off her tired face, but her eyes conveyed her hatred and disgust._

"_How are you today, Kaoru?" a deep voice sounded in the silent room. To anyone, his tone was affectionate and concerned but only Kaoru could detect the mocking in his voice, so she remained silent._

_The man smiled at her small display of defiance "I hope you are not finding my hospitality lacking, since I'm trying my best to entertain you."_

"_Go to hell" Kaoru's voice came in no more than a whisper, but the man's sharp sense of hearing enabled him to hear it well and he gave a loud laugh._

"_Spirit" he said in an amused voice "Oh how I admire your spirit, though your body is almost broken, you still have some spirit left in you. I must admit it all started at something I must do for revenge but now I'm enjoying it" he grinned cruelly "think about it this way my dear Kaoru, it's like a match, a duel between me and you, and one of us will be victorious at the end."_

"_You are sick" Kaoru said in a disgusted voice and the man eyed her with serious, sharp eyes for few moments before laughing again, but she felt that there was something different about this laugh. It seemed to conceal some other emotion._

_And she was right for suddenly he buried his hand in her rich raven hair and jerked her head by her hair "AHHH!" she cried out at the burning pain on her scalp._

"_Yes, yes," he growled as he shook her head "yes I'm sick, I'm sick here" and here, he placed his hand on his heart "I'm sick in my heart, which, since my sister had died, knew nothing but hatred. Hatred toward the man who killed her and hatred toward this country which did nothing to protect her" he tighten his grip on her hair, and Kaoru bit her lower lip and squeezed her eyes shut "I despise this world which stole my sister away from me. And the more I live in it the more disgusted I feel. I almost left this world years ago in China but I was saved by the Gods. Do you know why?" he asked calmly, and when Kaoru did not reply, he shook her head hard, almost banging her head to the hard floor "do you know why?!" this time he shouted. _

"_No, no, NO" she kept saying this over and over. Although she tried not to show it, she was afraid by this sudden outburst._

"_Because" his voice was low now and he jerked her head closer to him, so that his mouth was near her ear "because They want me to accomplish two tasks, one is to ruin Battousai, which is in the process. And the second, I will accomplish soon, I'm only waiting for a sign from the Gods, which, I'm sure, I will receive in due time" he released her hair abruptly and rose to his feet._

_Kaoru felt him walk a couple of steps and take a deep breath before turning to her with a malicious grin imprinted on his face "are you hungry, Kaoru?" _

_Kaoru stared astonishingly at him, his demeanour was so calm now that no one would have believed only few seconds ago, he had been shouting angrily. _

_Kaoru did not say anything._

"_Come on don't be afraid, say it if you are hungry" he paused placing one hand under his chin "when was the last time you ate? Was it yesterday? Or the day before?" he smiled and bowed slightly "Forgive me please, don't take it personally, it's just that sometimes my memory fails me." _

_Kaoru closed her eyes, not wanting him to see the need in her eyes. She was hungry and thirsty, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg. Her eyes opened again when she felt him move to the fire place. He crouched beside it and seemed to pick something up. And when he stood, she saw that he was holding a long metal rod which had a wooden handle and the tip of this rod, which was thicker than the rest of the rod, was glowing red. Kaoru stared at it for a long time and when she realized what he intended to do with it, she tried to summoned what was left of her strength to drag herself backward, eager to put some distance between them. _

"_I can see that you still have some strength in you" he was looming over her now and Kaoru looked up at him with frightful expression, she was scared, she did not know if she could endure more torture. It was only yesterday that she had been beaten to an inch of her life and her body was still throbbing with pain._

"_No..." Kaoru whispered, shaking her head but she refused to let any tear fell in front if her torturer. _

"_No?" he asked "where is your spirit, Kaoru? Don't disappoint me" he said and kicked her hard on the rib making her gasp in pain. Then he knelt beside her and tore her bloody kimono from behind, displaying her bruised back. Kaoru struggled, or tried to, but his large hand held her by the neck, pressing her hard on the ground. _

"_Yes, resist, struggle, but not too hard because if I get tired I will chain you to the wall, and that will be more painful for you" and with only this as a warning he placed the hot iron on her skin. _

_Kaoru screamed, the pain was worse than she believed and she tried to twist out of his painful grasp, but he held her down hard and dragged the blazing iron across her back making a line of red, burnt flesh. Her breaths came as short painful gasps and she shuddered in pain._

_Somewhere in her shrieking mind, she tried to be in another place with her loved ones, she tried hard to summon her happiest memories, but was brought back to reality when a second poker burnt her flesh. Her scream echoed in the miserable room again and this time she was not able to hold back the tears. So tears started to flow and sobs shook her weakened form. The stench of burning flesh was making her sick and agony was making her dizzy._

"_Let's make a deal Kaoru" she heard his amused voice "if you last half an hour without fainting you will get water, and if you last an hour, you will get food" and he went to reheat the poker._

* * *

Kaoru sat up abruptly, looking franticly around her as if to search for her tormentor and she suddenly yelped in surprise when she saw a man in the room.

"Kaoru it's me" the man immediately came to her, grasping her hand.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru blinked rapidly "Kenshin!" she said again "what are you doing here?" she looked around again to make sure she was still in her room.

"I came to see you."

"How long have you been here?"

Kenshin only shrugged, as if to say it did not matter.

Kaoru sighed and put a hand on her heart to still the wild beating. She was breathing rapidly and sweat made her hair clutch to her her face.

"Are you alright?" Kenshin eyed her closely.

"Yes, I'm fine" Kaoru tried to smile.

"I didn't see you during lunch today."

"It wasn't my turn today."

"Don't lie Kaoru, I know exactly when you are supposed to serve" Kenshin regarded her sharply.

Kaoru did not answer, only averted her eyes from his penetrating gaze. And she changed the subject "did Mizuki-san come here?"

"Yes, two women came, but I told them to go" Kenshin said coldly.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed "this is their room."

"I did not want them to disturb you"

"And they saw you here? Now there won't be an ending to their teasing."

"Teasing? Did anyone say anything that hurt you, Kaoru?" his tone was suddenly menacing.

"No, no," Kaoru said hastily "they only joke sometimes, nothing more," she paused for moment then spoke again "how is your wound?" Kaoru was eager to keep talking so she can forget about her nightmare.

"It's fine"

"Did the pain stop?"

"Yes"

"Can you sit without feeling any pain?"

"Yes"

"Can I look at it?"

"No"

"Kenshin! I must see it to make sure it's healing and if not, we can call the doctor back."

"I told you it's fine."

"You are so stubborn, look if you don't allow me to examine it I.." Kaoru paused, blushing slightly.

"You will what?" Kenshin could not hide his amusement.

"I will sleep here every night" she crossed her hand over her chest and turn her head sideways.

Kenshin smirked "I can always drag you to my room, after all you belong to me. And you did admit that yourself" Kenshin felt a surge of triumph at having turned her own words against her.

Kaoru whipped her head toward him and stared at him, lost for words.

"And" he added "our night together made it official" Kaoru felt her cheeks burning as she remembered their love making and she lowered her head.

Kenshin placed his fingers under her chin, raising her head, and leaned to kiss her. But he stopped before his mouth touched hers. Kaoru gave him a questioning look, which went unnoticed by him, for he was staring at her neck.

"Your wound needs to be rebandaged," he extended his hand and pulled the white bandage carefully "you are bleeding".

When the bandage was completely removed, Kaoru touched the scar gently and felt the warm liquid on her finger. This time, she had not felt the stinging pain which usually preceded the bleeding. The crimson liquid kept her attention for few moments before she lowered her head slowly and smiled.

Kenshin, who was watching all this time, eyed her puzzledly when the small smile appeared on her lips.

"Kaoru, are you alright?"

Kaoru nodded "I'm better than you think, Kenshin" she said calmly looking at him with eyes filled with passion and love "I had a nightmare, and usually when I wake up of such nightmares, I find myself alone and can do thing but to huddle in my futon and cry myself to sleep, but now things are different. I'm no longer alone, you are here and somehow the pain seems more bearable and a nightmare stays only a nightmare" Kaoru held his hand in both of hers, clasping it warmly "that's why, I won't cry, as long as I'm with you I won't cry" and Kaoru smiled at him, a smile so genuine that Kenshin could not help but to smile back. Kaoru moved closer and wrapped her hand around his neck, forgetting about her bleeding scar. Her mind was occupied with the smile that Kenshin had just given her. It was a sincere and calm smile which, she noted, had been given frequently on the last five days, since he stopped killing temporarily.

Somehow, he seemed at peace during that short period.

* * *

Later that day.

"Practice?" Kaoru asked "practise on what?"

"To defend yourself" Kenshin answered.

Both of them were alone in the backyard of the inn.

"But I already..." Kaoru did not finish her sentence, instead she averted her eyes.

"You already what, Kaoru?" Kenshin asked, his piercing eyes seemed to penetrate the depth of her heart.

Kaoru shook her head "it's nothing important."

For a while Kenshin stared intensely at her before grabbing a small, slender knife, which was hung next to his sword on his waist. It was the first time Kaoru saw this knife.

Kaoru blinked few times at it before looking questioningly at Kenshin "what is this?"

Kenshin raised an eye brow "what does it look like?"

"I know it's a knife, but you are not expecting me to use it, are you?"

"Why not? Do you prefer any other particular weapon?"

"A bokken."

This time it was Kenshin's turn to blink rapidly "a bokken?! It's a child play!"

"No, it isn't," Kaoru snapped suddenly "it's a way to protect, and it's far better than a sword. It's lighter and easier to wield and..."

"But it does not penetrate the flesh, hence kills" Kenshin argued calmly.

"You don't have to kill in order to defend yourself, there are other means."

"Unless one's opponent is dead, one is not safe" Kenshin said in a matter-of-a-fact manner "so you will use a knife. It's light and can be concealed properly."

Kaoru sighed, Kenshin was more stubborn than her. She looked at the knife. _It's not like I will kill anybody. I will only use it to scare any enemy, that's all. _

Kenshin held the dagger balanced on his middle finger, resting an inch or so below the blade "the balance point, that's where you want to hold it, so it fits comfortablely in your hand."

Kaoru tried with the dagger. When she had it comfortably fitted, Kenshin showed her different moves with the dagger.

"Here is the spot to aim for" he pointed on the centre, just under the breastbone chest "if you are killing face to face, aim straight up and in, as hard as you can. That will go to the heart, and will kill in a minute or two," he continued "but be careful, you have to avoid the breastbone, or the knife will be stuck and you will be without a weapon"

Then he set her to try stabbing in various positions and postures.

"Now charge as me."

"But Kenshin..."

"Do it Kaoru!"

Kaoru lunged at Kenshin, aiming at the centre of his chest. And when he did not show any sign of avoiding her strike, Kaoru stopped midway.

"Kaoru do it as though you mean it," he instructed her firmly "don't pull back at the last minute."

"But you did not move" she protested "What if I..."

"Don't worry about me, I can avoid your strikes."

Kaoru took a deep breathe and charged at him again. Kenshin dodged easily, he did a quick manoeuvre and grasped her hand firmly.

"Ouch" Kaoru cried out, the dagger fell off her hand at once.

Kenshin released her hand "let's try again."

The training lasted most of the afternoon. But Kenshin was good instructor and very patient. He was particularly good at demonstrating moves, over and over. And he noticed that Kaoru was a fast learner and she was able to pick up various moves in a short time. He also observed that she was starting to breathe deeply and despite the cold weather sweat beads were glistering on here forehead.

"That will do for today."

"But I can go on" Kaoru protested.

"We will continue other day, now rest."

* * *

"Did you have any previous training?" Kenshin asked once they were resting under a leafless tree.

Kaoru who was leaning against the trunk, eyes closed, opened her eyes when she heard his voice.

"Yes, since my childhood I've been practising using a bokken. But," she paused "but I haven't trained since..." again she stopped "since months ago."

Kenshin understood that she meant since those days, when she had been abused "who taught you?"

Kaoru smiled "my father."

Kenshin only nodded. He remembered her telling them that her parents died on their way to Kyoto, so it must be a painful subject to bring about.

They stayed silent for a while each lost in their own thoughts. Kenshin was looking at grey sky, whereas Kaoru closed her eyes again.

After few minutes of silence, Kaoru spoke "I've been wanting to ask you this," she looked at the one particular window which belonged to Kenshin's room "there is this toy, a spinner which I always see in your room. Is it something precious?"

"Yes," this was Kenshin's only reply, and when Kaoru thought he wouldn't say any more he spoke again "it's the only thing which remained of my childhood. I consider it as a reminder that one day I was innocent, one day my hands were clean of any blood" Kenshin kept looking straight ahead.

Kaoru's eyes were fixed on his profile before she moved closer to him and hooked her arm with his "is it from someone special?"

Kenshin nodded "but this person is no longer in this world"

Kaoru only squeezed his arm gently and rested her head on his shoulder. Then she felt him shift slightly and she looked at him. He was staring at her intently and opened his mouth to say something but decided against it at the last moment.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked with concern.

"It's nothing."

Kaoru refrained from asking more about himself and again rested her head on his shoulder. So they stayed like this, each is content with the other presence.

Then Kaoru broke the silence again "Kenshin, did you suspect me of being a spy when we met?"

Kenshin turned his head toward her wondering why she brought this subject, before he answered: "yes I thought you were a spy, but as the days passed by I thought you would make a poor spy."

Kaoru blinked several time and frowned "mou Kenshin, do you mean I'm stupid?"

Kenshin gave a small smile "no, it's because everything you think is written on your face, I can see it as plain as day, it isn't in you to lie."

Kaoru opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her so she immediately lowered her head, not wanting Kenshin to see the guilt which assailed her face. She felt as a horrible person. Since the moment she met Kenshin, Most of what she had been telling him were lies.

Was she ever going to tell him the truth? That she didn't belong to this time. And how was he going to take it? Would he forgive her for lying to him?

However, she thought that he did not need to know. There are things which better be left undiscovered, besides her time in the Meji era was starting to become something of the past. A past that she could not return to, which would only remain in her memory. She felt that she belonged here, with Kenshin. After all she loved him and as long as he was with her, as long as they were by each other's side everything will be fine.

_Yes things will be fine._

And she snuggled closer to his warm body.

* * *

The next day.

On her way to kitchen, Kaoru ran onto Mizuki.

"Ah Kaoru-chan!" Mizuki said as she clasped her hands "I'm glad I ran into you before going to the kitchen, I need to speak to you"

"What is it, Mizuki-san? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's just that..." she paused for a moment "do you remember the promise you made me the other day?"

"Yes."

"I need you to act upon it,"

"Sure, after all I have promised."

"Thank you my dear," Mizuki said gratefully "now, today is my duty to buy the grocery, but I need to meet someone important, will you cover it up for me?"

Kaoru smiled, a smile someone gave to tease another "you are going to meet Yoshida-san, aren't you?"

"Hush girl, not here" Mizuki said urgently as she looked around "you know that no one knows about it except you and Nami" Nami was Kaoru's second room mate.

"But, why are you keeping it a secret? From what you told me Yoshida-san seems as a good man" Kaoru asked with genuine interest.

"Because I'm a widow and it's been years since my husband has died and..." she paused, looking embarrassed "he is married."

Kaoru opened her mouth in shock when she heard the last words but Mizuki was not done "Furthermore, I'm not as young as you are, Kaoru-chan" Mizuki was a woman of twenty-seven "nor my man is called Battousai" she finished with a smile.

Kaoru pressed her lips together, she did not like it when people called Kenshin Battousai "what do you mean?"

"My point is, no one would dare to badmouth you here, everyone is afraid to call upon Battousai's wrath, so no worries about you, you have it easy" she paused again before smiling sadly "as for me, I must keep my relationship a secret till Yohida finds a decent job outside Kyoto"

Kaoru remained silent, she was thinking of Misuki's words _you have it easy._

* * *

Kaoru kept her promise to Mizuki and took the list from her. So she headed to the gate but not before glancing around to make sure Kenshin was not close by.

She reckoned that it must be about three in the afternoon, and Kenshin must be in his room or with Katsura. Glancing at the partially clouded sky, Kaoru made a mental note to do a quick grocery shopping because the days are shorts in winter and she estimated about two or three hours until sunset. So with quick steps Kaoru made it to the gate and pulled it open slowly, the hinges squeaked and Kaoru thought that it was louder than usual. When she opened it enough for her to slip out, she clutched her shawl and was about to exit but stopped dead when she came face to face with Kenshin.

Kaoru went pale and nearly slammed the door shut on his face.

As for Kenshin, for a split second a look of surprise was written all over his face, though no one would have detected it, for his expression immediately switched to a deep frown. He narrowed his eyes at Kaoru "where do you think you're going?"

"I..." Kaoru was inwardly cursing her bad luck that she could not answer.

Kenshin impatiently grasped her hand and pushed her backwards, but not too forcefully, before he pushed the door shut.

"No, Kenshin!" Kaoru found her voice when she heard the the door slammed shut "I need to go."

"Where?" Kenshin asked, his burning eyes seemed to reflect fury and Kaoru suspected that he was thinking of Okita.

"I'm going to town."

"You're not going anywhere."

Kaoru regarded him angrily before prying her hand free so suddenly and forcefully that Kenshin raised an eye brow at her strength "listen Kenshin, you don't have the right to order me around, you did not even listen to why I want to go there."

"I don't care, you are not going."

Kaoru clenched her hands tightly and glared at him. She was willing to explain everything to Kenshin and do it the easy way. But Kenshin was being a jerk "I'm going and you can do nothing to stop me".

"Don't challenge me Kaoru" Kenshin could see clearly now what kind of girl Kaoru used to be. He took a step forward intending to seize her upper arm, but Kaoru reflexly took two steps backwards.

She stared at him, he looked resolved and Kaoru had no doubt that he will drag her by force back inside the inn. So she closed her eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply "please Kenshin, I'm doing a favour for someone, and I'm the only one who can help her. And it's really something small, I won't be late."

"What are going to do in town?" Kenshin decided to listen.

Kaoru waved a small piece of paper "just buying what's in here."

"Any other woman can do it"

"No, no, to everyone Mizuki is now in town buying these things, I don't want to cause her any problem by asking someone else."

"Then I'm going with you."

"No, No" Kaoru said quickly "you can't."

"Why not?" he narrowed his eyes in suspision.

"What if we were attacked again?" Kaoru involuntarily shuddered as she remembered how she had felt when Kenshin was injured.

"And what if _you_ were attacked?"

"I won't be, don't worry" Kaoru said dismissively.

"It's either I go with you, or you won't go anywhere."

Kaoru's blue eyes stared directly at his amber orbs, she wouldn't go out unless he came with her. But Kaoru was afraid. What if someone followed them? What if Shinsen gumi attacked again? What if he got injured or worse..? Kaoru shook her head. Maybe she better ask another woman, but Mizuki had specifically asked Kaoru and Nami was busy somewhere else. Kaoru gave out a long, deep sigh. This was giving her a headache.

It took a while before she replied "fine, but I'm really angry at you" and she walked back to the gate.

Kenshin simply followed her with impassive face and opened the gate before her.

* * *

Kenshin and Kaoru walked silently first, but upon reaching the crowded town. Kaoru began to break the heavy silent. She stopped here and there asking Kenshin's opinion about different kimonos.

Kenshin inwardly reflected at how twenty minutes ago she declared that she was angry with him and now she was smiling happily. Not that he minded, he loved to see her smile.

"Wow Kenshin, look at this" her voice cut through his thoughts and she showed him a pearl bracelet with a white ribbon tied at the middle. It was simple, yet so dazzling.

"It's so lovely" she admired the bracelet.

Kenshin regarded Kaoru for few moments before turning at the salesman "I will take this one" he gestured at the bracelet Kaoru was holding.

"No, I was only showing it to you, you don't have to buy it."

Kenshin simply paid the man and gave the bracelet to Kaoru "it yours, Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled widely before she suddenly jumped at Kenshin, hugging him tightly "thank you, thank you, thank you."

Kenshin's usually sharp eyes were wide now. He was shocked for two reasons. The first one was for the intensity of his lust for her, even a brief touch can set him on fire. As for the second reason, he looked around them. Some people stopped and were looking at him and Kaoru, for she was hugging him intimately in front of everyone. He looked back at Kaoru, whose eyes were glittering with joy.

Kenshin found himself uncaring for what people thought. Seeing Kaoru happy made him feel warm at heart.

However, unknown to him, a pair of eyes was watching their every movement. This person, upon seeing them move, lowered the straw hat on his head and followed their track.

* * *

As the sun was setting, Kenshin and Kaoru made their way back to the inn. Kenshin was carrying the bag which contained what was written on the list, while Kaoru pulled her sleeve up and was admiring the pearl bracelet.

Kenshin thought that it looked lovely on her slim wrist.

Kaoru held Kenshin's right hand "thank you for buying it for me, I really like it."

He only smirked.

Kaoru furrowed her brows "I don't like this smile."

"You know this bracelet is not for free," he moved one step ahead and stopped before her "you will pay for it tonight."

Kaoru smiled and moved closer, closing the gap between them. Then she kissed him briefly on the mouth "this is your payment" she teased.

"That's not enough, I will consider _this _as a pre-payment" and he wrapped his free hand around her waist and pressed his lips against hers, in a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue easily gained access to the inside of her mouth and he eagerly explore it with wild passion.

Their figures were outlined against the last of the sun's orange rays. The sky was almost dark now but the two lovers were oblivious to their surroundings, each was lost in the lovely feeling of being close to one another.

"Well, well, we could have killed him easily just now."

Kenshin span immediately upon hearing the strange voice.

"Imagine the almighty Battousai, killed because of a woman" the same voice continued, amused.

Kenshin saw, about seven paces away, thirteen men . All of them were clad in black and masked. Only their eyes were visible.

_Assassins? _Kenshin wondered.

"Battousai, we have come for your life," the man aimed his sword at Kenshin "this night will be your last" then, his black eyes settled on Kaoru "and your woman will be our whore."

Kenshin pushed the bag into Kaoru's hands before he took two step toward them, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword "if you so much as touch a single hair of her," his voice was icy cold and his piercing eyes were glowing in the dark "I will cut you piece by piece like a dog, starting with your foul tongue. And I will throw your rotten flesh in the river so that no one will ever remember your miserable existence."

Some men were taken aback by this. He was alone and outnumbered, still, his threats seemed so real and menacing. To these men his aura was evil and dangerous.

"Don't listen to his empty threats," the man who spoke first told the rest "we will kill him and rid Japan of this demon."

"Kaoru I want you to run" Kenshin whispered to Kaoru.

"No" Kaoru shook her head "I won't leave you."

"There is no time for this, just obey" he gritted his teeth.

"I will fight, you taught me how to."

"Prepare to die" and one of them men ran to Kenshin, but just then, when a thick cloud obstructed the pale lights of the moon, a scream sounded from behind the group of men, making the charging man halt and one by one the other men began to fall motionless on the ground.

All Kaoru could see was a shadow moving, faster than a lightning, among the men before they fell with a thud on the ground.

As for Kenshin, he saw the men fall, he heard them scream, but he could not smell the metallic odour of blood.

The last of the enemy gave a loud groan of pain before he went down. The man, who saved Kenshin and Kaoru, stood hunched in a battle stance for a moment, his back to them, then he straighten up and sheathed his sword. After few moments he span toward them. The stranger was wearing a straw hat which shadowed his face, even if he weren't, the light was so poor that the only distinguishable things were his small figure and long hair. The man took a step forward, removing his hat and at that moment the clouds dispersed off the moon and the silver shafts illuminated the mysterious person.

Kaoru unconsciously dropped the bag, the items rolled on the ground, when she took in the looks of this man. A white hakama, a pink gi, long red hair tied in a low ponytail...a cross shaped scar. Her legs moved on its own accord and took a single step forward.

"Kenshin..."

On that night, under the cloudy sky and as the cold wind blew and lifted Kaoru's hair, she thought that fate was cruel. When she finally began to feel a sense of belonging to this time, when she fell in love, when the past was starting to become nothing but a beautiful memory in her mind, fate decided to remind her that she was nothing but an intruder in this time. Still, Kaoru thought that fate had a purpose for everything, it must have a purpose for bringing to two Kenshins in her life.

But fate was mocking her.

* * *

Yup our rurouni is back, now it's two Kenshins and one Kaoru. Hehe don't kill me people, many questions will be answered in the next chapter, specially this time travel concept.

Things will start to get complicated from here on and from the next chapter the real angst will begin!!

Now, now I need someone to tell me the difference in strength between the two Kenshins. I can't remember what technique he developed after Bakumatsu!! please help.

Until the next update take care.


	11. The beginning of the truth

Good morning everyone (yes it's 4 am here Y.Y ) I can't believe I have finally managed to finish this chapter, you won't believe how hard it was to write it :S I did not think that two Kenshins in one story would be so complex, but I hope this chapter will be easy to follow for all the readers.

nijiryuu: Though your speculation about the ending is good, mine is nowhere near it. To be honest I have **three endings** for this story, one is happy, one is bitter-sweet and the other is so sad that even I cry when I think about it! But this sad ending is the original ending which I invented two years ago when I had first thought of this fic. However, I'm still debating which one to choose / But it's still too early to end this story.

About the fighting style of Kenshin, thanks for all those who answered my question, but I must admit I'm a total failure when it comes down to fighting techniques. I usually leave those things for my brother to explain! I prefer the normal sword fighting and that's the reason I resolved to it in this chapter.

For this chap I want everyone to keep in mind that even our kind and gentle rurouni has a Battousai side in him.

Edit: I'm not sure about the year in which the anime started but I think it's 1878, correct me if I'm wrong please.

* * *

Chapter 11: The beginning of the truth

_Kaoru unconsciously dropped the bag, the items rolled on the ground, when she took in the looks of this man. A white hakama, a pink gi, long red hair tied in a low ponytail. Her legs moved on its own accord and took a single step forward._

"_Kenshin"_

* * *

The man, whom Kaoru recognised as Kenshin, smiled gently at her. "Kaoru-dono."

Just as her name left his mouth, Kaoru suddenly realised how much she missed him, how much she missed hearing him saying her name in the polite manner he always used. So she took another step toward him and another until she found herself running to him.

The rurouni strode to meet her with open arms and once she was close, he embraced her warmly. They stayed in each other arms for few moments before Kaoru spoke.

"How?...When?" Kaoru was now looking at him, her eyes glittering with tears.

"It's a long story, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin's voice was so warm that Kaoru felt it within her heart, "more importantly what about you..."

"Who is that man?" the young assassin, whose presence was momently forgotten by the two, spoke with cold voice that barely covered his shock. Yes he was shocked at the vast resemblance between himself and the man whose arms now lay casually around Kaoru's waist. "Who are you?" he repeated more firmly this time, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword.

Kaoru turned her head toward the younger Kenshin, "Kenshin this is..."

"I am not an enemy," the rurouni said in a loud voice.

The younger Kenshin was more shocked now. _His voice...his voice is similar to mine. _It was almost the same voice, but the rouroni's voice was deeper and calmer and did not possess the cold and indifferent tone which always accompanied his own voice.

"You did not answer my question!" the assassin retorted angrily.

The other Kenshin could see clearly why only the mention of Battousai's name could send wave of terror among many people. The aura around the young man, who stood few yards away, was dangerous. He could see confusion in his eyes, and though he tried to conceal it, shock was written on his features. It wasn't that the rurouni was in a better condition. Despite his calm appearance, his heart felt heavy at the sight of the amber-eyed man. It was like the man from his daily nightmares came to life. He felt as if he was living one of his nightmares, and he bitterly thought that it might not be far from the truth.

"Take me to Katsura-san," the rurouni said after a while, "you shall have your answers then."

The younger Kenshin, no longer capable of withstanding the confusion and pressure, charged suddenly toward the rurouni after unsheathing his sword.

The older Kenshin had foreseen this, so he gently pushed Kaoru to one side and ran to parry his attack.

"No Kenshin!" Kaoru herself did not know which one of the two she was calling. Her eyes were wide with terror as she observed the fight which was feebly lit by the pale light of the moon.

"How do you know Katsura-san?" the assassin barked as he delivered another strike at the rurouni's side. It was true that Katsura was well-known across Japan. But that stranger spoke his name as though he knew him personally. The younger Kenshin was no longer thinking clearly. Shock after shock was bestowed upon him in the last ten minutes. First was the appearance of this man, whose looks were similar to his. Then his acquaintance with Kaoru, who called him Kenshin and lastly his swordsmanship, which so much resembled his own, that the assassin thought this stranger could read his mind. This was too much for him to take, so he resolve to the only language by which he can freely express his feelings.

The language of the sword.

"I said," the rurouni replied firmly, "I will explain everything when..." he blocked another attack aimed at his right shoulder. All he could do now is block and parry the other man's wild strikes as he thought of what to do next. He couldn't simply say _I am you, ten years from now_ that would make him more aggressive. Kenshin conclude that the best thing to do was to beat him in this fight so he could force him to submit to his request. So he gathered all his strength and charged. He delivered blow after another, which made the younger Kenshin take few steps backwards, awed by the force of the rurouni's strikes. But just then the younger Kenshin noted something.

"Are you mocking me?" the assassin hissed as he narrowed his amber eyes at him, "fighting with such sword," he drew back and jerked his head toward the rurouni's sword.

"This might be a reversed edge sword," the older Kenshin stated in a steady voice, "but it's a weapon nonetheless," and he lunged at him before sweeping his sword toward his neck.

The rurouni thought that the younger Kenshin would avoid his slashing strike, and he did but was a moment too late. So the sharp point of the rurouni's sword slashed across his left cheek in a short cut as he duck low, this did not bother the young assassin, even as he felt the blood trickling down his cheek.

The rurouni drew back, shocked at the sight of the fresh scar he made.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried out and strode toward the younger Kenshin.

"Don't interfere!" he snapped angrily at her, making Kaoru freeze on her place.

"Don't talk to her like that," the rurouni recovered from his shock when he heard the tone in which the other Kenshin addressed Kaoru.

The younger Kenshin glared at him. "I can talk to her however I wish," and he charged more forcefully than before. The rurouni ward off each one of his attacks but was forced to move backwards by the sheer force of his strength. But then, seeing an opening at the left side of the assassin, he swiftly swept his sword, hoping to knock him over.

However, the younger Kenshin was ready for that. Instead of drawing back as the rurouni hoped, he braced his shoulders and swung his weight forward. He averted the sweeping strike and used the impetus of his charge to send a straight thrust at the rurouni's heart. The rurouni leaped backwards in the last minuet to avoid the fatal blow. Then he gathered himself and lunged again. They came together as the younger Kenshin blocked the rurouni's thrust.

Now being so close, the younger Kenshin could see clearly the features of the rurouni, more specifically he saw the scar which glazed his left cheek. And he realised with extreme shock that it was exactly the same scar as Kaoru's.

A cross shaped scar.

So for a brief moment, he stood staring at the scar, just for a moment. However, that short moment was all the rurouni could ask for in order to put an end to this fight. He moved down, almost kneeling, and with a loud cry, swept his sakabato in a great arch, striking the younger Kenshin on the abdomen.

The younger Kenshin gasped and doubled over before he fell on one knee. His left hand clutched his abdomen while the other still held the sword vertically to support himself. Still, he was not about to give up. So he raised his head and was about to stand but immediately checked himself, for he was staring directly at the point of the rurouni's sword.

"You've lost," the rurouni said sternly and, seeing the rebellious look in the assassin's eyes, added coldly, "I could have killed you just a moment ago by reversing my blade, but I didn't."

The younger Kenshin glared at him, his eyes flashed with fury. He could not believe that he had lost. Still, what the stranger was saying was fair and he had to consent to his demand. So, to show his defeat, he merely turned his head away, clenching his fists tightly.

Kaoru ran to the younger Kenshin's side and knelt beside him. "Kenshin, are you all right? Does your wound hurt?" she meant the wound which he received the week before "Kenshin?" she said when he did not answer.

Suddenly the assassin whipped his head toward her, and Kaoru was taken back by the intensity and hostility of his stare. His golden orbs glowed with anger, which she felt was directed at her, and maybe this was true because he suddenly pushed her roughly away from him and rose to his feet.

"I will take you to Katsura-san," and he started to walk.

The rurouni helped the shocked Kaoru to her feet. Even in her daze, Kaoru noted how hard his hold on her upper arms was. She saw that he was not looking at her, but was glaring after the retreating Kenshin.

Kaoru could not help but to shiver, though not from the cold, but from thel premonition of some awful events that will follow this fateful day.

* * *

"The future?" Katsura's voice was no more than a whisper, "you come from the future," he said each word ever so slowly, as if to allow his mind a much needed time to process the great meaning of these words.

Katsura was sitting on the head of the room behind a low table, while Kenshin was to his left and Kaoru and the man who looked like Kenshin were sitting next to each other to the right.

"I know it's hard to believe," the older Kenshin said in a calm and steady voice, "I did not believe it myself when I discovered I was in Bakumatsu 1864. Me and Kaoru-dono came from Tokyo the year 1878"

"Katsura-san," the other Kenshin protested, "don't believe his words, he must be an imposture."

"An imposture, you say?" Kenshin stared at his younger self, "you saw it yourself, wasn't my fighting style similar to yours? Or to Hiko Seijuro?"

The younger Kenshin stared at him with disbelief _how did he know?_

"Do you need more proof? What about Sakura-san?"

Kaoru, whose head was bowed all this time, raised her head now. Kenshin's voice was different, it was not the usual kind rurouni's voice, his tone was cold and harsh.

The younger Kenshin could only stare at the man who looked just like him. That red head stranger knew things that he had not told anyone. _Could it be that he is saying the truth?_ But Kenshin still refused to believe that this man was himself from the future.

"Himura-san," Katsura was addressing his assassin, "please just let us hear his story."

The younger Kenshin looked at Katsura for few moments before nodding curtly.

Kaoru was now looking at the younger Kenshin. She thought it must be hard for him, to come face to face with a man who claimed to be himself. Kaoru wanted him to look at her, to at least acknowledge her, but he totally ignored her presence, staring at the rurouni instead.

"How did you come to find yourself here?" Katsura asked.

"It would be better to start from the beginning," Kenshin said, shifting slightly, "about three months ago Kaoru-dono disappeared."

"If I recall rightly, Kamiya-san had been with us for three months. Isn't that right, Himura-san? You encountered her in one of your missions?"

Again the younger Kenshin only nodded.

"As I said she had disappeared one night and we had no idea where she went to, I asked the people in town if they had seen Kaoru-dono, I even informed the police and Sano, our friend, asked his many friends to lend a hand. Still all this was futile, days turned into weeks and weeks into months. And it was almost two months after, when despair was slowly creeping to my heart, that an idea sprung to my mind. The possibility that Eni..."

At that moment, the shoji door was slid open, cutting Kenshin off. All the occupants of the room turned toward the door to see a man, whom the younger Kenshin recognized as one of his comrades, standing by the door.

"I had specifically asked not to be interrupted," Katsura said with a deep frown.

"Pardon me, Katsura-sama," the man said with a bow, "but the prisoner had spoken." This prisoner was one of the masked men, whom the younger Kenshin was wise enough to drag for interrogation.

"What did he say?" Katsura asked.

"He said that they are not from Shinsengumi, but a mere band of outlaws," the man answered.

"A band of outlaws?" Katsura was surprised, "what would they gain by attacking Himura-san?"

"According the prisoner, the order to attack Battousai came from someone else. This order came from a man who called himself Enishi."

The older Kenshin felt Kaoru go tense beside him "Enishi?" this time it was Kaoru who spoke. "Ensihi?" she repeated, as if to make sure her ears did not deceive her. Her trembling hands clutched her kimono tightly and fear was written all over her face.

"Do you know him, Kamiya-san?" Katsura asked upon seeing her reaction.

Kaoru opened her mouth to speak but did not find the strength to answer.

The rurouni placed his hand over Kaoru's, wanting to reassure her, Kaoru looked at his calm violet eyes, he did not seem surprised at what they had just heard.

"Kaoru-dono it's all right," he nodded at her and squeezed her hand gently before he turned toward the man at door. "Did you get his last name? I mean this man Enishi."

"We tried to force the prisoner to admit, but he swore that he did not know his last name, because this Enishi refused to give them any," he paused, thinking, "though he described his appearance which is, according to him, peculiar."

"Continue," Katsura urged him when he stopped.

"He said that this Enishi was a very tall young man with broad shoulders, but what was strange was the fact that he had a silver hair, almost white, and wore small spectacles, even his clothes were different from ours," the man finished.

Kaoru shuddered when she heard these descriptions.

"What kind of man is that? A foreigner? " Katsura seemed suspicious, "are you sure the prisoner was not lying?"

"He's not lying" it was the older Kenshin who spoke, "I can guarantee that" and he turned to the man at the door "thank you for your help, Kawagami-san."

The man, whose name was not mentioned till now, looked puzzledly at the rorouni, "do I know you?" Kawagami had noticed the similarity between Battousai and this redhead man, but it did not occur to him they they were the same person.

The older Kenshin only smiled, a smile he gave when he did not want to answer.

Kawagami bowed and excused himself.

For a moment everyone was silent. The younger Kenshin's amber eyes were fixed on Kaoru, more precisely on her lab, where her hand was still covered by the rurouni's.

"I believe you know this man, whose name is Enishi?" Katsura asked.

"Yes," the older Kenshin said, "and it's not a surprise to me that he's here. If I'm not mistaken me and him were transferred to this time together."

Kaoru whipped her head toward him when he finished.

"Yes, Kaoru-dono," he looked at her with kind eyes, "when you had disappeared the possibility that you were taken by Enishi, again, held some validity, so I searched for him and challenged him. He did not deny nor did he confirm my suspicion. And he came to your place where we fought again, this time inside the dojo. I admit, my actions were rash and unplanned. I was blinded by the thought of Enishi hurting you again, and this was reflected in my fighting. Enishi managed to wound me and it was at that moment strange things started to happen," he paused, trying to find the right words to describe what happened. "I can't say I remember much since I was slightly dizzy with blood loss, but the best way to describe it is as though I was falling through an endless pit, then colliding with an invisible thing. That is vaguely what I remember before finding myself in a deserted dojo."

Kaoru reflected silently how his description was similar to what she felt when she had reached this time.

"You said," the younger Kenshin, who was listening attentively to his story, pointed "that you challenged that man two months after her-" he gestured with his head towards Kaoru "-disappearance, so what were you doing during the remaining month?"

"As I said I was wounded," the rurouni stared directly into his eyes "and my wound was serious so after I left the dojo I collapsed on the road and was found by a man, who took care of my wound."

"So Enishi, is your enemy. What grudge does he hold against you?" Katsura asked.

"That is another long story, which I prefer not to talk about now," Kenshin smiled apologetically, "this subject is too painful for both me and Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru wanted to tell Kenshin about Akira, but she thought it would be better to leave it for later.

Katsura opened his mouth to ask something, but he hesitate at the last moment.

"I know what you're about to ask, Katsura-san," the older Kenshin smiled, "you want to know if Ishin shishi will win, if the emperor will be restored to power."

Katsura smiled, "you know me too well, Himura-san."

"All I can tell you that ten years from now, in the time where me and Kaoru-dono are living, Japan is a peaceful country, a place where people live happily, but" Kenshin paused, looking at Kaoru "you did change few things, right, Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru hesitated for a moment before answering. "I only meant to help."

"I understand your motives, Kaoru-dono," he smiled gently at her before looking back at Katsura "During my stay with the old man, I asked him about Gion festival and what he told me was different from what I had lived through."

"What do you mean?" Katsura asked.

"What I mean is, during Gion festival Kyoto was supposed to be burned, many of Ishin shishi members were supposed to die during the attack on the previous inn," Katsura looked at Kenshin with shocked expression. "Yes Katsura-san you were to flee Kyoto temporarily and remain hidden for a while, and," now he looked at the younger Kenshin "I, which means you, was supposed to leave Kyoto."

"I would never leave Kyoto and abandon Katsura-san"

Kenshin shock his head with an ironic smile, "back then things were different," he thought of Tomoe _but..._he looked at Kaoru, whose eyes where fixed on the younger Kenshin, and noted the way she looked at him_...but I can't say that things are __**much**__ different._

Silence fell upon the room.

During the few moments of silence, Katsura was contemplating what to ask. So many questions raced across his mind that he did not know which one to ask. But then the rurouni's hand, which was still on Kaoru's, caught his attention "You and Kamiya-san are..."

The older Kenshin looked at his own hand before understanding Katsura's words. "I have been living with Kaoru-dono for more than a year. She accepted me in her dojo despite my past," he patted her soft hand before retreating his own.

At that moment, out of a sudden, the younger Kenshin stood abruptly. "Excuse me Katsura-san," he bowed curtly to Katsura, "I would like to retire for now," and not waiting for permission, he headed to the door.

"Kenshin," Kaoru called him, but he simply ignored her and stepped out of the room. She also rose to her feet and went after him.

"No doubts, things will be peculiar from now on," Katsura voiced his thoughts loudly "now that there are two Himuras."

The rurouni did not say anything, his eyes where sharply fixed on the door.

* * *

"Kenshin..." Kaoru had managed to catch up with Kenshin. She stood on the porch waiting for him to stop, but he Kept walking as though she had not called him at all. So she called again as she descended down the porch. "Kenshin."

Now he stopped, but did not turn to face her. Kaoru took few, slow steps toward him but stopped when he spoke.

"All this time," he spoke in low voice as the wind lifted his crimson hair, "I was some kind of an alternative, a substitute for that man."

"No," Kaoru shook her head although he could nor see her, "I did not think of you in that way."

"When did you plan to tell me the truth?" Kenshin snapped and span to face her, as though she had not spoken.

"I..." Kaoru felt unable to respond under his cold stare. She hadn't thought that he would ever direct such look at her, "I planned to tell you the truth, but..."

"But you didn't expect _him_ to appear suddenly, thus exposing your lies so soon."

Kaoru was silent because there was some truth in his words.

"What's the matter? Can't you think of something to say?" he waited only a moment for her to reply, and when she didn't, he turned again and started to walk away, "as I thought you have no excuse."

"Are angry only because I lied?" Kaoru asked this because she felt he seemed mad for another reason, "if that so, then I'm sorry. I've never meant to lie to you."

"But you have," he said calmly as he continue to walk away.

"I...I love you" Kaoru said in a soft voice, hopping to reach his heart. And when she felt him stop, her eyes sparkled with renewed hope.

Although he halted, Kenshin did not turn to face her. "I don't love liars" his tone was empty of any kind of emotion.

Kaoru's eyes were wide and she reached her trembling hand towards him when he started to walk again, the pearl bracelet was shining in the moonlight "Kenshin..." she called again but he continue to walk without even a glance toward her.

Kaoru lowered her hand and stared sadly at the bracelet.

Then, she bowed her head and wept.

* * *

The next day.

Kenshin came to Kaoru's room late in the afternoon.

"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin called as he stood near her door, "may I come in?"

He heard some movements before she answered, "yes Kenshin come in."

Kenshin slid the door open and stepped in. He observed that Kaoru was still in her sleeping yakata and was sitting on her futon. Her raven tresses were free, falling to her back.

"Were you sleeping, Kaoru-dono?" asked Kenshin as he closed the door. A quick glance toward her made him aware of how different she was. she looked tired, as if she hadn't had enough sleep the night before.

"No, no, it's just that I feel so lazy today," she replied, watching Kenshin settling near her futon.

Kenshin smiled tenderly at her. "How was your life here? have you been comfortable?"

"Yes," she answered with a weak smile, "everyone was nice to me. The girls were all welcoming and friendly, specially Mizuki-san. Even Katsura-san was nice and treated me well, despite everything. And..." Kaoru paused, thinking for a moment, before she changed the subject, "how is Yahiko and Sano?" she asked with a forced smile.

Kenshin regarded her with sharp eyes, he was aware of her attempt to change the subject. "Yahiko-chan spent most of his time with Tsubame-chan and Tae-dono. He scarcely came to the dojo the last month I was there. Sano dropped by from time to time. And he helped me great deal in looking for you," he reached his hand placed it over hers "everyone is so worried about you, Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru stared at his violet eyes, and couldn't help but to feel guilty, so she averted her gaze. Her friends had been worried about her, and she had not made any effort to go back to her time. She even thought of settling here and spending her days with Kenshin.

_How selfish I am. _Kaoru thought bitterly.

"That's why," Kenshin continued in a firm voice, "we have to go back."

Kaoru looked at him quickly at the mention of going back.

"Go back?"

"Yes, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin eyes never left her azure orbs, "this is not our time nor our place. We don't know what consequences our presence will have on the future, so we have to go back to our time, to our friends," he squeezed her hand, "to your home."

"But how?" Kaoru asked, her heart racing, "do you know how to go back?"

"I don't know for sure, but I believe the dojo, in which I found myself, forms some kind of connection between this time and ours. So we will go there, and hopefully things will work out."

Kaoru bowed her head. She was shocked. The thought of going back suddenly seemed so painful and she felt an unbearable weight on her heart.

_What about Kenshin?_ She meant the younger one. The thought of leaving him, never to see him again, made her heart ache.

Those painful thoughts were interrupted when she felt Kenshin's fingers under her chin, raising her head slowly.

"You understand, Kaoru," Kaoru did not even noticed that he dropped the -dono-, for she was looking into his eyes, which were no longer pure violet, she could see golden colour swilling with the violet as if battling to for domination. "You understand" he repeated "that we don't belong here, that _you _don't belong to this time. So we have to go back as soon as possible," as he said those words, Kenshin was edging closer to Kaoru until he was almost on the futon with her. His hand moved to her cheek, caressing it tenderly. Kaoru could feel his head leaning closer to her own until she felt his breath.

He was so close.

His mouth was so close to hers and Kaoru went rigid, she did not even blink. However, when his mouth was less than an inch away, she suddenly, almost reflexly, bowed her head.

Kenshin blinked rapidly "Kaoru..."

"I...I'm sorry Kenshin," Kaoru did not look at him.

Kenshin stared at her before pressing his lips on her forehead, in a swift kiss. Then he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, "never mind, Kaoru-dono," he murmured against her forehead.

Kaoru thought that she was supposed to feel warm, to feel happy and joyful, because this was the Kenshin she cared for and held dear to her heart. So why did she feel as though she was immersed in a fog of loneliness?

She felt empty.

As for Kenshin, he could feel the girl in his arm as still as a marble statue. And he was not surprised by her reaction.

After all Kenshin had seen everything.

He had seen her in town, hugging the younger Kenshin, had seen the way he looked at her and above all he had seen their passionate kiss near the river, before the attack of the masked men.

_I will not allow it._

Yes he will not allow Kaoru fall in love with the younger Kenshin and end up like Tomoe. His mind was set.

He would take her out of this time very soon.

* * *

Just as the sun was setting in the western horizon, Kaoru made her way to younger Kenshin's room. Her mind was occupied with what the rurouni had told her.

_We have to go back._

Kaoru wasn't sure why she wanted to see the younger Kenshin, but she felt that talking to him would help her to decide what to do next. More precisely, what answer to give the rurouni. As much as she felt guilty and selfish, if the younger Kenshin forgave her, she would consider staying here with him. After all she loved him and she was ready to accept the consequences which will inevitably follow her decision. So when she reached his room, she stopped by the door "Kenshin" she called in a determined voice "I want to speak to you" she assumed that he was in, for the room was lit from the inside "Kenshin" she called again, but no reply came. So Kaoru slid the door open and saw that the room was vacant.

_Is he in a mission? _

Kaoru entered and closed the door behind her. Then, she crossed the room and settled near the window, where Kenshin usually sat.

Kaoru was so lost in her thoughts that she did know how much time had passed when she felt movement outside the room and the door was slid open abruptly. Kenshin stood by the door glaring at her. And from his angry glare Kaoru could tell he wasn't surprise to find her here.

"What do you want?" he asked, still standing by the door.

For a moment, Kaoru felt uneasy under the intensity of his harsh glare, but she shook this uneasy feeling out of her mind.

_Come one Kaoru, he is still the same Kenshin, who showed kindness and gentleness just the day before. _Kaoru touched the pearl bracelet briefly, for reassurance before she rose to her feet with renewed determination. "I'm here to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to you," his amber eyes, she saw, were fixed on her face.

"You don't have to say anything," his coldness did not waver her determination, "I will do all the talking."

"You mean all the lying," he snapped suddenly, glaring directly at her startled sapphire orbs, "so you have come to weary my ears with more lies," he continued as he stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him.

"Enough, Kenshin" Kaoru said, "I have only concealed the truth about the circumstances by which I'd found myself here. No one would have believed me even if I had told the truth."

"Why not?" Kenshin asked harshly, "after all Katsura-san believes that man," he said the last two words with evident disgust.

"That is different, and besides I did not expect to stay here for this long, I did not expect to..." she was about to say -fall in love with you- but Kenshin cut her off.

"What else did you lie about?" he glowered at her, "did you lie about those scars which are burnt on your body?"

Kaoru crossed the room in few strides and came almost face to face with him. "I would never lie about such thing," she hissed angrily, but not without shock at the extent of his distrust.

"Then maybe you lied about the story behind it," he took a step closer to her, "maybe you deserved the torture and the ra..." he did not finish, for Kaoru raised her hand and was about to slap him, but he gripped her wrist painfully. And his hold did not loosen even when he saw her sapphire eyes glistering with unshed tears.

"Don't," his voice was colder than the icy weather outside, "you remember what happened last time you slapped me, and believe me I'm capable of doing much worse."

Kaoru tried to pry her hand free, but he kept a vice grip on her wrist, "what are going to do?" she could not stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks, "are you going to force yourself on me? Rape me?"

Kaoru would never believe that Kenshin, who had shown her passion like she had never known before, would hurt her in any way. However, had she known what emotional trauma he would put her through, she would have fled the room that instance.

"Force you? I don't think that would be necessary," he tighten his grip around her wrist painfully, "so accustomed you are to the world of men that I'm sure you will come to me yourself, after all you have lived with one for more than a year."

Kaoru looked puzzledly at Kenshin, not getting his meaning, and maybe that what made him lose his temper. He suddenly let go of her hand and grabbed her by her upper arms.

"You lived with that man for a year!" he dug his fingers in her flesh "for a year!" he repeated loudly, "don't feign innocence. Can you tell me that, during that time, nothing happened between you and him?"

"No, no..." Kaoru shook her head frantically, "nothing, we lived as a family, nothing more."

"Lies, more lies!" he was almost shouting now as he shook her form so roughly that her hair came loose and the ribbon fell to the floor, "all what you say are LIES" and he pushed her hard.

"Ahhh!" Kaoru cried out before she stumbled and lost her balance, falling on the hard floor. She would have fallen face first if she hadn't placed her hands to absorb the fall.

Kenshin was looking down on her with intense eyes and his breaths were short, loud gasps.

Kaoru looked up at him with astonished and wide eyes, surprised at the level of his anger.

"Tell me, for once in your life be truthful," he said in a harsh voice, "look into my eyes and tell me that during the year which you lived with him, you felt nothing toward him."

Kaoru remained silence, her mouth opened and closed but no words were formed, so she averted her gaze.

"Look at me!" Kenshin commanded angrily making Kaoru stare at him again, "I knew it," Kenshin spat, "at least you did not lie this time," and he took a couple of steps toward the window.

"No Kenshin," Kaoru said as she rose slowly to her feet, "it's different, what I feel toward you is different."

Kenshin ignored her, he was looking through the window, his back to her.

"I love you Kenshin, I've never lied about that," she said desperately, "please for the sake of our love, forgive."

"Our love?" Kenshin asked before he turned to face Kaoru with an impassive face, "did I ever mention love to you?" he asked coldly. "From the moment I met you all I felt towards you was lust, all I wanted was your body and you must be more naïve than I thought if you have mistaken my motives for love."

"But..." her eyes were wide with disbelieve and fear.

"But what?" Kenshin cut her off, "I was kind to you? I was very gentle? Well those approaches were necessary if I were to get what I wanted from you, because you were raped," he said the word -rape- so casually that one would think he was merely discussing the weather.

Kaoru shook her head refusing to believe that all this time his only desire was her body.

"Eventually I got what I wanted, and," he looked at her up and down, "believe me when I say that having sex with you once is _more _than enough," he emphasized the word -more- "after all, who would want to see that disfigured body of yours twice," it was not a question, he spoke it as a matter of a fact and stared at Kaoru directly in the eyes.

But as long as he lived he would never forget her expression after hearing his insult. The hurt which assailed her face and shadowed her bright features made him, unconsciously, take one step towards her. However he stopped himself and glared at her with cold and emotionless eyes, even as fresh tears started to flow down her cheeks.

He was hurt, and he wanted her to feel the same. Her weak point was known to him and he intended to make use of it.

Kaoru tried to speak, to say something, anything. She opened her mouth but all she uttered was a choked sob that was ignored, for Kenshin turned again toward the window.

"Get out," his tone was merciless.

Kaoru did not wait to be told twice and, as if a demon was on her heels, she slid the door open and fled the room. She only ran, not thinking where to go, only wanting to make as much distance as possible between her and Kenshin, as if the the longer the distance the less pain she would feel. So she kept running until she found herself outside, in the yard.

Kaoru stopped by a tree, gasping for air, and placed one hand on the trunk for support. He legs were trembling and her eyes were clouded with tears.

Finally her legs gave away under her and she slumped on the ground, sobbing her heart out. She rested her head on the trunk and placed one hand on her racing heart.

_It hurts, it hurts so much. _

Then she buried her face in her hands and wept like she had never done before. She kept crying and even when she felt warm liquid flowing down her neck she did not stop.

Her heart was broken.

* * *

Kenshin walked slowly to the door and closed it. He remained standing in his position for a while, head bowed. Then he glimpsed something blue on the floor.

Kaoru's ribbon.

Kenshin bent to pick it up and as he held it, Kaoru's sweet scent assaulted his senses.

_Jasmine._ He breathed deeply as he closed his eyes.

Then he opened his eyes and let the ribbon slip off his fingers before he crossed the room and settled against the books. His chest expanded in a heavy sigh and he closed his eyes again.

He tried to erase the image of Kaoru's hurt face, but it was in vain, for it kept reappearing whenever he closed his eyes.

His lids flattered open when he felt something warm trickling down his cheek. He touched his scared cheek and was shocked when he looked back at his hand.

_Blood._

Kenshin touched the scar again to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him.

It was bleeding still.

Kenshin stared at his hand with wide eyes. This scar had stopped bleeding since yesterday, so why was it bleeding again? It was only a shallow wound, yet...

An image of a cross shaped scar appeared in his mind, but Kenshin shook his head to clear it away.

_It has nothing to do with it..._

_nothing at all._

* * *

The next day started with a scream.

The older Kenshin, who did not have much sleep last night, happened to be early that morning. He was heading to Katsura's quarters when the scream echoed in the cold, misty morning. So upon hearing the scream he ran toward the yard where the voice came from and saw a woman standing near a tree, her back was toward him so he could not see her face but he can tell she was looking at something by the tree.

"What's wrong?" Kenshin strode to her "are you..." his questioned remain unasked because, as he neared the woman, he saw what made her scream "Kaoru-dono!" and he ran toward the tree, where Kaoru was sitting, her body leant against the trunk, eyes closed.

What made the woman scream was the crimson colour which covered most of Kaoru's neck and the upper hem of her kimono.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin called her name again as he held her hands. Her skin was icy cold. He placed his hand on her heart and, to his relief, it was beating.

"Kaoru-chan was here when I came to take the clothes..." the woman said, "is she.." she placed her hand over her mouth, unable to voice her question.

"No, no," Kenshin answered quickly, "she is breathing." Kenshin heart was beating wildly as he held her icy hands in his.

_How long has she been here? Did something happen? And why is she bleeding like this? _

Kenshin was surprised at the amount of blood, even in their time, after saving her from Enishi, she had not bled so much.

Kenshin made it to carry her inside, but at that moment Kaoru's lids flattered open.

Kaoru blinked several times before staring at him with half opened eyes.

"Kaoru-dono..."

"Ken...shin?" Kaoru blinked again before looking around her, "this is..."

By now some members of Ishin shishi gathered in the yard as well, alarmed by the scream.

"Kaoru-dono why are you here? How long have you been in this freezing weather?"

Kaoru only closed her eyes, not wanting to answer.

"Kaoru-dono, please tell me. Did anyone hurt you?"

Kaoru opened her eyes again, "I feel so dizzy..."

"It's because you lost a considerable amount of blood," Kenshin said, "come, I will take you to your room. We can talk there," he hooked one arm under her knees and placed the other around her shoulder, holding her close to his chest. He carried her through the onlookers of men and woman, who parted to allow them passage. Among them was the younger Kenshin, who had been attracted by the commotion.

The assassin could see his lookalike carrying Kaoru in his arms, whose neck was covered with blood. To anyone, who did not know about her scar, it seemed as if her throat had been slit open, because the blood covered her neck entirely, even the white bandage was barely visible.

Kaoru was too dizzy to notice him, but the older Kenshin did see him and glared fiercely at him, before he carried her inside.

The younger Kenshin stared after them for a moment before he walked away.

He did not care about the fact that Kaoru was in another man's arms, he didn't care if she was alone with another man in one room, he already had her so it did not matter what happened to her now.

Kenshin clenched his fists.

But why did he have this desire to kill someone so badly?

* * *

Once in her room, Kenshin placed Kaoru slowly on one unrolled futon.

"Kaoru-dono, don't move. I will go and fetch some bandages," he was about to stand when he felt something tug at his hakama. He looked down and saw Kaoru's hand griping his hakama.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru's voice was almost a whisper and she tried to sit up but Kenshin immediately knelt beside her.

"Don't move, you can't," Kenshin tried to make her lay again but stopped immediately when he noticed the tears which streamed down her face, "Kaoru-dono! Does it hurt? Tell me I will fetch a physician now."

"Let's go back..." Kaoru said through her tears and Kenshin thought that he did not hear her right but she repeated, "let's return to our time."

This time Kenshin helped her to sit and he gathered her in his arms, not caring that her blood was staining his gi. "I will take you away, Kaoru," now he drew back and cradled her face in his hands, "and I will not let anyone hurt you, no one," and he brought her face closer to his, before he pressed his lips on hers.

Kaoru yielded her mouth to him. She did not respond to the kiss nor did she draw back.

_It's for the best, it's for the best._ She kept repeating in her mind.

Tears squeezed through her eyes as she closed them slowly.

* * *

Though this is my story, I can't help but to feel sorry for Kaoru!

And you won't believe how many days I've spent debating whether to make our rurouni all kind and fluffy or to make him possess a small dark side in him. Well I decided to spice things up and choose the latter! Well it not that he will be all mean and dark, no no, his kind and gentle side will always win.

Now, now, I hope this chapter wasn't confusing to anyone, for I'm sure it must be hard to follow the description of two Kenshins.

Finally, thanks for reading and see ya!


	12. Betrayal

Heya!!

Yup I'm kinda late in updating, but I'm sure that I'm not the only one busy, everyone must be occupied with school/ university or whatever. I for one did not even have time to breathe last week :S And as my Professor said "you are no longer a student but a professional" I sure don't feel like a professional yet!! But anyway, here is chapter 12. And a very BIG thanks to all those who reviewed.

P.S. I received many different opinions about the ending some want it sad others prefer happy ending. One even suggested to write all three endings!! I haven't decided yet but I will sure think about it.

* * *

Chapter 12: Betrayal

It was a bleak December day, the clouds were so grey and low that they seemed touchable and so heavy which a promised a vigorous rain soon.

The older Kenshin was walking on the porch, heading for Katsura's quarters. It was the same day in which he found Kaoru bleeding near the tree. Having left her sleeping in her room, he intended to talk to Katsura.

He stopped by Katsura's door, which was unguarded.

"Katsura-san, may I come in?"

"Yes, yes, Himura come in" Kenshin heard Katsura's voice before he slid the door open. He remained standing by the door because Katsura was not alone.

The younger Kenshin was there.

"I'm sorry Katsura-san" the older Kenshin said once he saw the assassin "I can come another time."

"It's fine, come in" Katsura gestured with his hand "nothing I say would be a secret to you, after all both of you are the same person."

"Katsura-san!" the younger Kenshin protested "me and _him_ are not the same."

"Well, maybe you are right" Katsura replied as he watched the rurouni settling directly opposite to his assassin "in term of attitude there is vast difference between you two, but I doubt that your skills are unequal. I can see that he managed to scar you in a single fight."

The younger Kenshin touched his scar "that won't happen again."

"I'm not criticising you," he smiled at the younger Kenshin before turning to the rurouni "I have heard about Kamiya-san," his tone held genuine concern "how is she?"

The younger Kenshin lowered his hand and stared intently at the rurouni, showing interest but hiding his concern.

"I have left her sleeping," the older Kenshin answered, his eyes softening "it took sometimes to calm her down and persuade her to rest, but she lost blood so eventually exhaustion took the upper hand."

"But what happened? One of my men told me it seemed that her throat has been slit open, which I'm sure, is not the case" Katsura asked.

"No, it was her scar bleeding. She had this scar for a long time but it wouldn't heal," Kenshin said bitterly "but I don't know what caused it to bleed this much, she refuses to tell me" he finished with a troubled sigh.

The younger Kenshin looked away, not wanting anyone to see the guilt in his eyes. But this emotion disappeared as soon as it appeared. _Why should I feel guilty?_ Kenshin thought_ if anyone should feel this way it's her. _Even though he thought this way, he could not get rid of this feeling which gripped his heart painfully.

"But Katsura-san" the older Kenshin continued "I came her to talk to you about a different matter" his face was serious but with a hint of relief "I want to tell you that me and Kaoru-dono are leaving."

The younger Kenshin jerked his head toward the rurouni upon hearing this declaration.

"Leave?" Katsura seemed shocked "to go where?"

"To our time" Kenshin answered calmly "we can't stay here. I have intended to take Kaoru back once I find her. And," now the rurouni stared at the assassin "it came from Kaoru. She has asked me to take her back."

The rurouni could see the effort his younger self was trying to make in order to control his emotions. The younger Kenshin's face was struggling to keep the mask of indifference but his clenched hands were trembling on his lab.

"But how can you go back?" Katsura asked after a while.

"I think I have found the connection between this time and ours, though I'm not sure. Either way I have to try. Kaoru-dono must not stay here. She doesn't belong to this bloody and hard time" he said with determination.

"What about the man who came here with you? Your enemy?" Katsura persisted.

A dark look passed the rurouni's features "this is the more reason I have to take Kaoru-dono away. Enishi is planning something and I can not let him hurt her more than he had done already."

"You failed to protect her the first time, what makes you think you can now?" the younger Kenshin's sharp voice cut through the room.

"Himura!" Katsura said, although he did not know what they were talking about, he did not like the tone in which his assassin addressed the other Kenshin.

"You weren't there with us at that time" the rurouni eyed the younger Kenshin sternly "so I wouldn't make a judgement if I were you."

"I don't think it would be necessary to have been there, I have seen the marks myself" the assassin said vehemently.

Kenshin's eyes widen at what his words implied. He clenched his fists and glared at the younger Kenshin. Kenshin was having an inner battle, there was nothing more he wanted to do than grip his sword and beat the assassin in a fight again, demanding he tells him what he meant by this. But his other rational side, told him his words meant nothing and he was only trying to anger him. So the rurouni took a deep breath and turned to Katsura again.

"Himura-san, are you all right?" Katsura asked, as he regarded him closely.

"Don't worry about Enishi, Katsura-san" the rurouni said, going back to their subject "I doubt he would do anything if he learned that I am gone. His grudge is directed towards me, not Ishinshishi or" he looked at the younger Kenshin "you."

"You still don't trust us enough to say why he bears you this grudge?" Katsura said.

Kenshin shook his head "it's not that I don't trust you. The only reason is that it's irrelevant now."

The younger Kenshin remembered what Kaoru told him. _My friend had killed his sister. _And by friend she meant this man. His amber eyes stared at the rurouni sternly.

_So all what Kaoru went through was because of him...me._

He dismissed this thought, he still refuses to believe that this red head man was him.

"It's better if I'm gone and I don't want to cause confusion among your men" the rurouni continued.

"That is not a major issue" Katsura replied "I have already invented a story to ward off all the doubts."

The older Kenshin nodded before he rose to his feet slowly, looking at Katsura with kind eyes "I want to thank you Katsura-san for taking care of Kaoru-dono and keeping her safe all this time" he bowed in gratitude to Katsura, who stood as well.

"Don't thank me," Katsura shook his head "thank him" he gestured toward the younger Kenshin "he had kept her safe and had trusted her when everyone else doubted her intentions."

Kenshin's eyes flickered to the younger Kenshin coldly. He could not help but to feel angry at the younger man. He did not know why but he had a feeling that Kaoru's tears and pain were somehow connected to the assassin. Or even caused by him. Nevertheless, the rurouni thanked him.

The younger Kenshin did not say anything, only turned his head the other way.

"So you really have to go" Katsura said.

"We have to, Katsura-san. I don't know how our presence may affect our time. Kaoru-dono had already changed major events, not only concerning Japan," Kenshin stared at the younger Kenshin again, who was looking the other direction. He wondered how he will carry on in his life, without Kaoru...without Tomoe. Then he dismissed this thought out of his mind "we will leave in two days Katsura-san. Kaoru-dono needs sometimes to recover."

"You can take as long as you wish Himura-san, and if somehow you don't succeed in returning home, you and Kamiya-san are always welcomed."

"Thank you Katsura-san" Kenshin smiled at him before walking towards the door. He stopped by the door and turned to Katsura "Just follow your ideals Katsura-san, you were a great leader to me and you still are. I'm sure you will win and bring peace to Kyoto and the whole of Japan."

This time Katsura bowed curtly "I'm honoured by the faith you place on me."

Kenshin smiled sadly and left the room.

* * *

Later that day, Kaoru awoke to find herself alone in her room. She sat up slowly recalling last night's events and immediately wished she hadn't.

The first thing she remembered was an image of a pair of amber eyes looking at her distastefully. Her hand rose to her temple massaging it slowly. Kaoru had a headache and what was worse she felt weak and dizzy.

_I feel horrible. _And she slumped back on the futon.

Her mind drifted to the other Kenshin, the rurouni, and unconsciously her left hand moved to her face and traced her lips, while she stared absently at the ceiling.

_He kissed me. _

Months ago, she would have jumped in happiness at the memory, but now she did not even know how to feel. When she felt his lips on hers, she was not thinking about him but of the other Kenshin.

"Kenshin.." Kaoru whispered, and she felt a painful pang in her heart when she remembered how he looked at her with disgust.

Despite that, she smiled bitterly.

_What have I expected? _Kaoru thought as she looked at her palm, in which a trace of a scar ran across it. _This is only a sample of all the scars I have, I can't blame him for being disgusted. _Kaoru thought about her back, and the various scars that Enishi engraved on her skin. _It must be disgusting to look at, but still..._

Kaoru felt her eyes watering. She had trusted him with her soul and body. She had told him things that she hadn't told anyone else, and he had thrown it all on her face and crushed her heart. But some voice inside her head told her that she deserved his rejection, after all she had lied to him. He must think that all what she had done for him, was done for the sake of another man.

_He hates me._ She thought gravely and could not stop the tears which streamed down her face.

She sobbed heartily, and unknown to her the older Kenshin was outside her room, listening to her choked sobs.

Kenshin stayed for few moments before he walked away.

* * *

The next time Kaoru opened her eyes she saw that she wasn't alone.

"I'm glad you're awake Kaoru-dono" Kenshin was sitting next to the futon.

"Kenshin" she smiled sleepily at him "how long have I been sleeping?"

"The sun is setting outside as we speak, you've been sleeping since the morning and," he smiled reproachingly "you didn't eat anything."

"I'm not hungry."

"Kaoru-dono, you must eat" and he moved closer to her and place his hand gently behind her right shoulder "and you don't have a choice" he helped her to sit straight.

Kaoru, not having much energy for arguing, obeyed him.

Kenshin had already prepared food for her and he brought the tray.

"Here, Kaoru-dono" Kenshin placed the tray on her lap.

Kaoru ate slowly, little by little and Kenshin stayed with her to make sure she ate all the food.

"Aren't you hungry, Kenshin?"

Kenshin shook his head "I have already eaten, more importantly how are you feeling? Did the dizziness fade?"

"Yes" Kaoru lied, not looking at him "I feel better."

Kenshin could see that she was lying, she seemed tired. Her skin was deathly pale and he saw that her hand was shaking as she raised the cup to her mouth.

"When are we leaving?" Kaoru asked suddenly, startling Kenshin.

"Whenever you are better, I think in two days will be appropriate" he would take her away this instance if he had the choice, but he understood that her condition did not permit so.

"I see" was Kaoru's only reply.

An awkward silence fell upon them.

Kenshin thought she would speak no more when she said, "Kenshin?"

He looked at her.

"I did not only prevent the burning of Kyoto and the attack" she paused for a moment "Akira is alive, it means that Tomoe is alive" she stared at him now.

Kenshin could feel his heart skip a beat at the mention of Tomoe, he had thought about her when he had arrived at this time, however what occupied his mind all this time was finding Kaoru.

"The first day I had arrived here," Kaoru continued "was the day when Akira was about to die, but I managed to save him. So do you think..." Kaoru looked at him with hope in her eyes "now that Tomoe is alive, Enishi will forgive what happened? Do you think that his grudge against us will vanish?"

Kenshin's eyes soften, he could tell that she was scared now that Enishi was here. He doubted that Enishi's grudge would be forgotten that easily. With Enishi, the harm was already done, he had seen his sister murdered right in front of his eyes and experienced many dreadful things when he had left Japan. And what made Kenshin doubt Enishi's forgiveness was the attack of the cloaked figure which had been made on Ishinshishi on the road. Kenshin had no doubt that this man was Enishi, and that he was planing something by siding with Shinsen gumi. However, he did not have the strength to tell Kaoru all that. The hope which shone in her eyes made him want to reassure her , and the last thing he wanted was to scare her, so he reached out his hand and held hers to his lips, kissing it softly.

"Don't worry Kaoru-dono, I am sure Enishi will forget about his revenge when he sees Tomoe."

Kaoru smiled at him, but her smile disappeared when he continued "I will protect you."

She remembered those same words being said by the other Kenshin. And anguish crept into her heart again. She tried to dismiss this dreadful feeling by concentrating on the warmth Kenshin's hold was emitting to her.

_They are the same person. _

Even though her mind told her that...

...her heart refused to accept it.

* * *

On the next day Kaoru stayed must of the time in her room. Partially to avoid the younger Kenshin and the other reason was the rurouni's demand that she must get as much rest as possible. Her weakness was gradually fading, but she still felt dizzy sometimes, probably due to the amount of blood she had lost.

On the day when they were meant to leave Kaoru decided to talk to Katsura and say her goodbye. So early in the afternoon she made her way to his quarters.

"Katsura-san?" she called, when one guard had ushered her to his door "it's me, Kaoru, may I come in?"

There was silence at first but finally she heard Katsura's voice "come in"

Kaoru opened the door and smiled at Katsura, but her smile faded when she saw that the younger Kenshin was in the room as well, standing near the window. He was looking at her now, and Kaoru stared back with uncertainty.

"Come inside, Kamiya-san," Katsura said when he saw that she stood motionless near the door "are you sure you should be moving at all? You look tired."

Kaoru indeed looked tired, her sapphire eyes were dull, lacking the usual sparkle which gave them the lovely appearance, while her beautiful features were shadowed by grieve. And her skin was unnaturally pale.

"I'm fine and I won't be long, Katsura-san" Kaoru said, forcing herself to look away from Kenshin, whose intense stare were still on her "I just want to say goodbye and thank you for allowing me to stay here all this time" she took two hesitant steps inside the room.

Katsura rose and walked towards her, before he placed his hands on her shoulders "I am more than glad to have met you" he smiled warmly at her. Although Katsura was only thirty years old, he felt a fatherly affection towards her "I wish you can stay longer."

"I can't" Kaoru said, trying to hold back tears "I have to leave, it's for the best."

Katsura looked down at her before he drew her closer in a warm embrace "stay safe, Kamiya-san and I should thank you, you did many great favours to us" he did not only mean preventing the burning of Kyoto and the attack, but also helping his assassin in ways more than any of them realised. Katsura turned slowly towards Kenshin "aren't you going to say goodbye to her, Himura-san?"

"I have nothing to say" Kenshin said as he turned toward the window again, his tone was harsh but he could not control the trembling of his hands nor the frantic beating of his heart.

"Himura..." Katsura said in disbelief.

"It's all right, Katsura-san" Kaoru said with a sad smile "we have already said our goodbyes" she pulled away from Katsura and walked quickly to the door. Katsura did not make an attempt to stop her. He had seen the tears which streamed down her cheeks and understood that she did not want Kenshin to see her crying.

Just as she stepped out and closed the door behind her, Kenshin span around and stared at the door with wide, desperate eyes. Katsura could see the sadness in his eyes, but knowing his assassin, his stubborn and proud nature wouldn't allow him to stop her.

"Excuse me, Katsura-san" Kenshin said quickly and strode out of the room.

Katsura looked after him with grieve expression.

_He won't be the same._

* * *

Kenshin made his way to his room, trying not to think of Kaoru. But his heart was still beating as wildly as when he first heard her declaring her departure.

When he neared his room, he saw that the door was open.

_Kaoru. _

Kenshin covered the distance to his door in two strides.

And his suspicious was confirmed. There, near the book stacks, stood Kaoru. And when she felt someone near the door, she whirled towards him, staring at him with wide eyes, as though she was not expecting him to appear here.

Kenshin stood by the door glaring at her. His face impassive and he told himself inwardly not to be weak. What he wanted was to beg her to to stay. But his strong pride took the upper hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked her fiercely, almost growling at her.

"I..." Kaoru's lips were trembling and that was all she said before she crossed the room and walked past Kenshin, stepping out.

His golden eyes stared after her retreating form for a minuet, before he entered his room and closed the door behind him.

His impassive mask immediately dissolved, and sadness appeared on his young handsome face.

Kenshin's hand had almost reached out and held her. He wanted to hold her body near his and kiss her, like he did in the previous months. However, his pride was still wounded.

He walked to the book stacks and wondered what she was doing here.

Then he saw it.

There, above the books, was the pearl bracelet, and it seemed to shine just like the day he had bought it for her.

Kenshin reached out and held it with a trembling hand. Images of Kaoru's delighted face when he had bought her this appeared before him. And he reflected how much she changed in few days. He remembered her lovely eyes were shining with happiness and her glossy raven hair dancing in the soft breeze.

"Kaoru..." Kenshin whispered and brought the bracelet to his lips, kissing it softly.

Then, he stared at the door.

_I can't bear it any longer._

And he rushed out of the room.

* * *

When he was descending the stairs, he saw one of his comrades.

"Have you seen Kaoru just now?" Kenshin asked impatiently.

The man started back, taken aback by how his golden eyes seemed to glow.

"Answer!"

"Yes...yes...I have seen her just now by the gate" the man answered, recovering "alone"

"Alone?" Kenshin asked, surprised "Are sure you are not mistaken?"

"Yes, I'm positive. I was entering by the front gate when I saw Kamiya-san stepping out, unaccompanied"

"Which direction did she take?"

The man thought for a moment "west"

Kenshin stormed past without thanking him.

* * *

In the meantime Kaoru had left the inn.

She walked slowly looking at every street's corner as if to remember every part of Kyoto.

The time was about one in the afternoon.

_I only got two hours._

She and Kenshin were supposed to leave around three, and she took this opportunity to visit Okita. So she made her way to Okita's house. She did not intend to take a long time. She would only say that she will move to Tokyo and bid him goodbye. The rurouni was unaware of this visit, but she did not let that trouble her. The rurouni's kind nature would not allow him to be angry with her, maybe reproach her mildly but nothing more.

Kaoru sighed and looked at the grey sky. She predicted that it will rain or even snow soon.

_What a miserable day. _

She thought bleakly that the weather matches her mood.

When she reached Okita's house, she stopped at the gate and smoothed down her green Kimono, before knocking on the door.

Kaoru waited patiently.

There was no answer.

"Okita-san" she called before knocking again.

She waited and still there was no answer. But when she was about to turn and leave she heard some movements then the door was pulled open, revealing a very nervous looking Okita.

"Kaoru-chan" Okita said and seemed very surprise at seeing her.

"I'm sorry Okita-san, have I come in a wrong time?" she stared at him with questioning eyes.

Okita gave a brief glance behind him.

"No...no" he answered quickly "I'm not doing anything, come in" again he stared behind him before he opened the door wide for her.

"No Okita-san, I won't take long, I only want.."

"Come in Kaoru-chan, I can't let you stand here in this freezing weather"

"But.."

Okita wouldn't hear more of it and he grasped her wrist and pulled her inside. He led her through the front yard and into the main house. As they walked through the corridor, Kaoru thought she saw some movement around the corner to her right.

"Is there someone else here?"

"No, I'm alone" Okita answered without looking at her.

Okita led her to a relatively small room, which was different from the one she stayed in her last two visits. Not listening to her protests, Okita left her in the room in the excuse of preparing tea.

Kaoru sighed and settled down, folding her legs under her. She shivered involuntarily and reflected how cold this room was. She wondered why he didn't received her in the previous room, which had a small hearth. Her eyes scanned the room, which was totally empty. Not even a table was there. And she noticed that there were two doors at either side of the room. One, to her left, by which Okita had just led her and the other was to her right.

Kaoru waited for five minuets and shifted uncomfortably.

She thought that she had heard some talking voices, and she strained to hear more. But the voices ceased.

_Okita is late._

The five minuets turned into ten, then fifteen, and Kaoru was about to stand to look for him when the door was slid open.

"Sorry for being late, Kaoru-chan" Okita smiled at her, as he sat down and placed the tray on the floor.

"I have a feeling you are busy."

"No, no" he said as he handed her the cup, his brown eyes refused to meet hers "on the contrary, I'm happy to see you."

A short silence descended upon them as Kaoru took a small sip, then she eyed him sadly "I'm here to say goodbye."

Okita turned his head towards her quickly "goodbye?" his brown eyes conveyed his shock.

"Yes, I'm moving to Tokyo. And..." she lowered her head "I think this is the last time we will see each other."

Okita was silent for few moments, he seemed to think deeply about something.

"You are going with _him?"_ Okita said, and Kaoru noticed how his tone had changed to a colder one.

"Him?" Kaoru asked, looking at the brown haired man.

"The man you love, you said you love him. So are you moving together, aren't you?"

A painful looked passed Kaoru's face, before she bowed her head again "no" she said simply, then she whispered more to herself "he hates me."

"What did you say, Kaoru-chan?" Okita regarded her sharply.

"I only said I won't be going with him," now she raised her head and smiled "so I came to say goodbye, I'm glad I have met you, Okita-san" she reached her hand and patted his gently "you were very nice to me...a friend."

Okita's expression changed from the sharp calculating one to a grieve stricken look and obvious guilt appeared on his kind face.

Kaoru did not have the time to see the change in Okita's expression because the door to her right was suddenly and forcefully slid open.

"You are as naïve as ever, my dear Kaoru" a familiar voice sounded in the room.

Kaoru dropped the cup to the floor when she heard and saw the newcomer.

"En..Enishi..." her eyes widened in surprise and panic and she froze on her place.

Then, her refluxes kicked in, so she immediately sprung to her feet and stared fearfully at him, as though she could not believe her eyes. It's been about nine months since she had last seen him, and he hadn't changed much. Still wearing the arrogant expression on his face and the amused smirk.

Kaoru felt Okita rising and she unconsciously edged closer to him while still looking at Enishi with wide eyes.

"What?" Enishi said in feigned shock "you don't have anything to say to me after all this time?"

"Okita..wha..what is Eni..he doing her?" Kaoru's trembling lips tried to form a coherent question while keeping her wide eyes on Enishi.

Okita remained silent.

But Enishi's laugh echoed in the small room "I had a different plan to capture you, but you always have a way of making my job easier..." he took one step towards her and Kaoru moved closer to Okita, and her trembling hand clutched his sleeve. Enishi smirked darkly at her reaction "...by wandering right into the enemy's territory."

Kaoru looked at him, not understanding what he meant. And then she turned to Okita, and immediately wished she didn't.

The moment of betrayal is the worse, the moment which you realise that someone you trust and consider a friend has wished you harm.

Okita's expression made Kaoru immediately jump away from him and press herself against the wall.

Guilt was written all over his face.

"No..no..no..." Kaoru's voice was choked in an obvious shock and disbelief.

"Kaoru..." Okita's eyes looked at her with remorse and pity "please come with us quietly."

Kaoru tried to control the frantic beating of her heart and the trembling of her legs, she tried to think of a way to escape. Enishi was blocking one door and, she looked back at Okita's direction, Okita was about four paces from the other door.

_I can make it, I can make it. _

And she made a wild dash for the door, and, when she was close to it, she felt a hand grip her wrist and jerk her backwards painfully.

It was Okita.

He pulled her forcefully towards him and seized her upper arms.

"Kaoru..."

"NO! Let me go!" Kaoru struggled franticly and hit him as hard as she could.

"Kaoru, stop," his hands let go of her upper arms and griped her wrists to prevent her from hitting him "there's no use."

She tried to twist her hands out of his firm grasp, but he did not even budge. He did not appear to be making any effort in restraining her and his eyes continued to regard her with underlying pity.

"Let go of me! No..." Kaoru was struggling so wildly that she lost her footing and fell to the floor, pulling Okita with her. She felt the air rushing out of her lungs and gasped in pain when her back connected with the hard wooden floor.

Okita had fallen over her, and he took this new position to his advantage. He straddle her waist and, when Kaoru recovered and renewed her struggle, he seized her wrists and pinned them at either side of her head.

"No..please..." Kaoru was panting for air, but still she tried to twist and writhe under Okita's weight "please let me go...please..."

A movement to her left made her turn her head, and Enishi, who had been observing her desperate struggling with amusement, stepped into her view.

Through all this frantic struggle, Kaoru did not shed a single tear. She concentrated all her energy into trying to escape. But now, as the man of her nightmares stepped closer, she could no longer hold back the tears. So tears flowed down her cheeks, and when Enishi knelt beside her head, she started to fight Okita again with what remained of her strength.

When she felt that her struggling was futile and Okita was not moving an inch, she started to beg "Okita..please...please don't let..." but her voice became muffled when Enishi pressed a white, damp piece of clothes on her mouth and nose. She tried to shake her head, but he pressed the rag more firmly.

"Sleep now, Kaoru" Enishi said in a low charming voice "and when you awake the world will be different to you."

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks upon hearing those familiar words. He had promised her the same thing when he had captured her months ago.

And he had kept his promise.

Her pleading eyes moved to Okita, who although was staring at her with sympathy did not loosen his strong, painful grip on her wrists.

Kaoru's chest heaved in one final display of resistance, before she felt herself weakening. Her eyes darted wildly between Enishi and Okita and black spots appeared before them. Her vision became blurred before her lids dropped down and darkness overwhelmed her.

Her last thought was of..

Kenshin.

* * *

Kenshin stood outside waiting. He had followed her from the inn, but did not reveal his presence. His intention was to find out where she was heading. And when she had stopped by a certain house and the gate was opened, revealing the man who she had called Okita, Kenshin had almost lost his temper. But he composed himself and waited.

She would hear him later. As for now, his eyes glanced towards the gate.

_Kaoru is late._

His anger was starting to turn into worry.

He had circled Okita's house from the outside in his long period of waiting, and noticed a small back door. But he doubted that Kaoru will exit from that door. So he moved again to stand in a position allowing him to have a good view of the front gate while still being concealed behind a wall.

While he stood waiting, he wondered why he had followed Kaoru.

_What am I expecting? For her to change her mind when she sees me? _

Kenshin heaved a sigh and continued to wait.

Just when he was about to lose his patient and storm into the house, a carriage pulled at the house. And, to his utmost surprise, three Shinsen gumi soldiers stepped out of the carriage and waited by the house's gate.

Kenshin concealed his aura and continue to observe from behind the wall.

Few minuets later, the gate was opened and a tall man wearing a black cloak stepped out and seemed to be talking to the soldiers.

Kenshin's hand immediately went to the hilt of his sword upon seeing the cloaked man. Silver hair, tall and broad shoulders wearing small spectacles.

_This should be the bastard Enishi...I will kill him._

He made it to unsheathe his sword and announce his presence, however, he immediately stopped and stared with wide eyes when Okita appeared out of the house holding an unconscious girl in his arms.

_Kaoru. _

Kenshin left his hide-out and strode to them, unsheathing his sword.

The voice of the blade hissing out of its scabbard made the men look towards him.

"Where do you think you're taking her?" Kenshin glowered at them, staring fiercely at Okita.

Everyone seemed surprise at his appearance, and stood staring at him, except for Enishi, who took a step towards him.

"So the younger murderer decided to make an appearance" his eyes stared at him up and down.

Kenshin glared distastefully at him. This was the man who was the reason for all Kaoru's suffering, he had kidnapped her, tortured her and...Kenshin tighten his grip around the hilt and gritted his teeth.

_...raped her._

He stole a brief glance towards the unconscious Kaoru, her hair was loose and dishevlled, her Kimono was in disarray state, all these were signs of struggle. And on her pale cheeks he saw traces of tears "what have you done to her?" he hissed.

Enishi eyed him amusingly "the question is what I am going to do to her" he chuckled at the fury he say in the assassin's amber eyes, then spoke to Okita "take her inside."

When Okita moved towards the carriage, Kenshin drew nearer.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Enishi warned, as he produced a knife from under his cloak and held it close to Kaoru's face.

Kenshin abruptly stopped and he recognized the knife as the one he had given Kaoru.

"As much as I would like to stay and accept your challenge, I have more important matters to attend to," he smiled expectedly at Kaoru "but don't worry, your turn will come" he added under his breath before he turned and walked to the carriage, followed by Okita "kill him" this time Okita ordered the three soldiers.

One of the men charged at Kenshin, and he easily deflected the attack then rammed his blade into his heart, killing him instantly. The remaining two attacked together, and Kenshin tried so hard to kill them as fast as possible but when he heard the carriage's door being slammed shut, his fighting became more frantic.

"DIE!" he gave a loud cry as he lunged at one of the unlucky men and pierced his throat, then he twisted the blade inside his air pipe and pulled. A movement behind him caught his attention and he span quickly and jumped away from the thrusting blade of the remaining soldier. Not giving his enemy time to recover from his offensive attack, he slashed with his blade across the soldier's eyes blinding him at once. The man screamed and fell to his knees, covering his bleeding eyes in agony. But Kenshin paid no attention to any of this, he whirled towards the carriage, but it was long gone.

Kenshin stared at the empty road for few moments before he turned to the injured man and griped him by his bloody upper hem of his gi, shaking him hard "what are they going to do with her?" he asked fiercely.

"Just for interrogation..I don't know...have mercy...I can't see...please"

Kenshin shook him even harder "is he going to show any mercy to Kaoru?" Kenshin shouted angrily at him, he could no longer control his temper "is going to treat her kindly?"

"I have nothing to do with it..nothing" the man cried pathetically, but Kenshin shoved him on the ground then kicked him on the chin, making him fall on his back.

"For pity sake...have mercy" the man begged. But Kenshin did not hear any of it. Fury was eating him from the inside, and this fury was directed towards himself. Just two days ago he was blaming the other Kenshin for his failure to protect Kaoru. And...

Kenshin gripped his sword tightly and raised it vertically above the blind man's head.

_I'm no better than him._

And he thrust his sword downwards, piercing the man's skull. The victim twisted and writhed as he died slowly, however the redhead assassin had no eyes for that. He was remembering Kaoru's face as she laid helplessly unconscious in the enemy's arms.

It seemed he was destined to fail Kaoru.

Kenshin raised his head towards the sky.

At that moment it began to snow...a pure white snow.

* * *

So what did you think?? Evil Enishi I know, but I like it now he is back. Hehe

Now I'm not sure when I will update next, but I will try and organize my time, probably it's going to be mostly on the weekend, but there are coming weeks when I will be kinda free (if the lecturers are merciful enough) -sighs- anyway please review and tell me what you think.

Byebye for now.


	13. Pain

Hi mena-san!! sorry for the late update, but I have my same old excuses...uni, novels etc I won't bore you with the deatils.

Important note:

emm..I don't know why some reviewers think it's strange that the rurouni's memory wasn't altered so that he will remember his love to Kaoru. To be honest I didn't even think about it this way. Let me explain, if the changes which Kaoru inflected upon the past affected the memory of the future-newcomers (i.e. Enishi and Kenshin), then this would mean that the older Kenshin wouldn't know why the hell Enishi is after them, because he did not kill Tomoe, in fact he wouldn't know her at all cuz the younger Kenshin did not meet her. That's not all, if those changes alter the memory, then consequently the physical element must be involved. By this I mean, Kaoru's scars would have disappeared the moment she saved Akira because by saving Akira, she had saved Tomoe and by saving Tomoe, Enishi would grow up as a normal boy and wouldn't have sought revenge and tortured her, do you see what I mean? In short, all the characters have lived their past, their personality has already been shaped.

So what is the catch in all this mess? Since I had this story in mind, I always thought that the future and the past are somehow like "different dimensions", maybe this is the not the right description but this is as best as I can portrayed it. However, bear in mind that this does not mean they are not connected. And by this you can somehow see how the two Kenshins are different persons. Because if I have stuck to the first theory i.e. The change in past alter the memory, then I will side with those who say both Kenshins are the same, yes they are the same..hmmm biologically...but they have different memory, they have experienced different events and they love Kaoru for different reasons.

Warning: this chapter contains reference to rape. The chapter might be disturbing, sad, disgusting, violent...I don't know, it will mean different things to different people. So you've been warned.

* * *

Chapter 13: Pain

"Katsura-san, please give me your permission" the younger Kenshin said. He was asking Katsura to allow him to take some men and attack Shinsen gumi hideout in Kyoto. He and Katsura were alone in the room, the older Kenshin had disappeared the moment he learned the news from the assassin. The younger Kenshin felt ashamed, he didn't even looked at the face of the rurouni when he told him about Kaoru. It was only few days ago that the younger Kenshin was blaming the rurouni for failing to protect Kaoru. And the fact that the rurouni did not become angry with him or blamed him made the young assassin more distressed.

"Himura," Katsura said sternly "I can't permit that. You, more than any one, should know why. Shinsen gumi possess two headquarters in town that we know of, and another two hideouts at the outskirts of Kyoto. Which one would you start with? And if you were lucky, how do you plan to save Kamiya-san in the bulk of their forces?"

Kenshin's fists curled into tight balls, the thought of Kaoru alone and powerless with those men made him furious "then let me capture one of their members, I can make him speak."

"Yes you can make him speak," Katsura agreed "but can you make him speak the truth? They want you to come, you are their target. And I'm sorry Himura, I can't send you to your death."

Kenshin bowed his head, his fists shaking uncontrollably.

"I understand your concern, Himura-san" Katsura's tone became gentle "I'm worried about Kamiya-san as well, but try to think rationally. I will try to communicate with our spies and send men to try and find out as much as they can."

Kenshin nodded "thank you, Katsura-san" and he turned to leave. He was not satisfied with that, but he couldn't disobey Katsura, nor could he blame him for taking things too slowly. Katsura thought that Shinsen gumi wanted to lure him using Kaoru and kill him. However, Kenshin didn't believe so. He saw more in that man's eyes.

Enishi.

He was planning to do something horrible to her, more than what he had already done. The anticipation and pleasure had been obvious in Enishi's eyes when he had held the knife to Kaoru's face.

Kenshin gritted his teeth.

He will kill him. The death of Enishi will be by Battousai's sword.

* * *

Kaoru shivered involuntarily as she walked between two Shinsen gumi members. One of them held her upper arm in a painful iron grip. She suppressed the urge to shrug his hand away but, judging from his grim expression, he didn't seem very friendly.

She had no idea where they were taking her. When she first opened her eyes she found herself in a large room laying on the floor. At first she thought all what had happened in Okita's house was a dream, a nightmare to be precise. But reality hit her hard when the two soldiers burst in to retrieve her.

The men suddenly stopped in front of a well-lit room from the inside.

"Kiyokawa-sama, we have brought the prisoner" the one holding her arm announced, before he slid the door open.

Kaoru's legs refused to move, not because the room was filled with men, or because a man, who seemed to be their leader was staring sharply at her. No, all this she was aware of at the back of her mind, but what made her stop at the entrance was the tall, muscular man with silver hair, whose back was to her, staring outside of the window. He did not turn to meet her even when they announced her presence. But, of course no one would miss his peculiar appearance, let alone her.

She was jostled out of her thoughts when one of the men became impatient and pushed her inside the room. Her feet stumbled by the force of his shove, but she managed to keep her balance.

Kaoru stood in middle of the room starring at Enishi's back, ignoring the murmuring she heard to her right, then she forced herself to look away from Enishi and her eyes scanned her surrounding. She turned to her right first, where three men were sitting and recognised one of them.

_Iizuka._

Kaoru glared disgustingly at him, fighting the urge to spit on his face. His response to her hateful glare was to smirk in his annoying way. She moved her head to the other direction and again saw a man she didn't recognised but beside him sat someone she knew.

_Saito._

Her eyes remained fixed on him, taking in his different appearance. Well he wasn't that different, he still had the golden, piercing eyes and his features were wolf-like, sharp and calculating. His hair was long however, and he wasn't wearing the police uniform. She must have been looking at him for long time because he raised an elegant eye brow at her deep scrutinising. She quickly looked at the man next to him and how she wished she hadn't.

A painful look shadowed her features.

_Okita._

Okita was sitting next to Saito, all the traces of the friendly boy she knew were gone. He was a soldier, a member of Shensin gumi now, wearing the blue and white uniform. He looked like the other men. His eyes were on her as well, his face was hard and indifferent.

Kaoru was forced to look away from Okita, when the man sitting at the head of the room cleared his throat and rose to his feet.

"I hope you had enough time getting acquainted to everyone here..." he trailed.

"Kamiya" Iizuka reminded him "Kamiya Kaoru, Kiyokawa-san."

"Ah yes, yes, now I remember," Kiyokawa answered "forgive my bad memory, Kamiya. But I must add," he paused "I didn't expect Battousai's woman to be a mere child."

Kaoru remained silent, staring at him. She certainly felt like a child standing before this man, he looked in his late forties.

"You forget something yet again," it was that wretch Iizuka again "Battousai is no older than her"

Kiyokawa heaved a troubled sigh "I'm still finding it hard to believe that the assassin who is responsible for the death of countless of my men is a mere boy of eighteen."

"But even that young monster has a weak point" Iizuka laughed.

Kaoru whipped her head towards him, speaking for the first time "don't talk about Kenshin like that, you traitor" she hissed at him.

"Watch your tongue, wench" Iizuka retorted.

"Don't tell me what to do, you scoundrel" Kaoru's voice did not waver.

"Enough you two!" Kiyokawa ordered, he fixed his eyes on Kaoru "a girl like yourself should learn her proper place among men."

"Then why am I here? _Among men" _Kaoru held his gaze "what do you want from me? If you are trying to lure Kenshin using me, then I will spare you the trouble..." her voice shook a little but she took a deep breath to steady it "he doesn't care what happens to me, so he won't be coming."

"My sources tell me otherwise, Kamiya, and" he added "you might be useful in keeping us up to date with the Ishin sheshi."

Kaoru looked at him with distasteful expression "no matter what you do, I won't tell you anything, I won't betray them."

A low chuckle made Kaoru tense and freeze on her place. During her interaction with their leader, she tried successfully to block the presence of Enishi, and he helped her achieve that by standing motionless near the window, without looking at her. But now when she heard his voice, the brave façade melted and her legs started to shake slightly.

"Isn't she a fierce one?" Enishi turned to meet her fearful eyes, Kaoru unconsciously took a step backwards "_I won't tell you anythin_g" he repeated her own words "I'm sure you will change your mind when I tell you that **I **will be in charge of your questioning" he smirked maliciously at her.

Kaoru felt her pulse racing and breath quickening. Fear gripped her making her throat dry, but then she remembered something that might help her so she took two steps towards him.

"Enishi," Kaoru's voice was trembling as she said his name "I have helped Akira, he is alive. That means Tomoe...AHHH!" Kaoru cried out when she felt herself being flung to the floor.

Enishi had strode to her so fast that Kaoru had not noticed he moved at all until he was right before her and his hand had connected with her cheek, sending her down to the hard floor.

All the occupants of the room stared with wide eyes at Enishi. However, he only stared murderously at the girl on the floor "don't you dare speak of her" he snarled.

Kaoru raised her head off the floor slowly, shaking her head to clear the dizziness. Enishi's blow had sent her few paces away from her original position. And now she found herself near Okita, who was staring at her with sock and concern. Kaoru's eyes met his and she couldn't stop herself from uttering this question: "why?"

Okita looked at her without speaking although he had heard her.

"Why Okita?" Kaoru asked again, louder this time "why did you betray me?"

"Take her" she heard Enishi order the two men who had brought her.

Kaoru ignored his order and kept her eyes on Okita, who was staring at her with guilty expression "I thought we were friends...let me go!" she hit the hands of one of the men "don't touch me!" both of the men seized her arms and dragged her to the door. Kaoru tried in vain to resist their rough handling.

"Take her to the room I told you about earlier" Enishi ordered.

The men nodded and drew Kaoru forcefully out of the room.

"What a stubborn girl" the leader said after Kaoru was taken out.

Enishi shrugged "I can tame her easily, I can assure you she will cooperate, but" Enishi paused "I must ask for no interference if I resorted to...let just say more effective methods."

Kiyokawa waved his hand as if to say it did not matter to him "you can use whatever you deem necessary, just get something useful out of her."

"Kiyokawa-sama," all the pairs of eyes were fixed on Okita, whose voice was appealing "she is only a girl, I don't believe extreme measures are required."

"I didn't say I would torture the information out of her," Enishi said, eyeing Okita intently "but if she refused to cooperate I must scare her, for the benefit of Shinsen gumi, I'm sure you won't mind."

Okita stared at Enishi for few moments then he nodded "yes for the good of Shinsen gumi, I won't mind."

* * *

Everyone was dismissed, only Enishi and Kiyokawa remained in the room.

Enishi was again staring outside the window. It was snowing heavily, a thick white layer covered the whole of Kyoto by now.

_Just like that day._

"Enishi, are you listening?" Kiyokawa's voice made Enishi turned away from the window.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"I was asking when are you going to start the interrogation?"

Enishi thought for a moment "tomorrow's night, I need to go somewhere tonight."

"Visiting someone?" the leader asked.

"Yes, I'm visiting someone important" Enishi smiled, a warm smile, void of all traces of malice.

"Are you sure you don't want anyone else to be in charge of this?"

"No, no, I had specifically asked for this task" Enishi insisted.

"Good because I can see that you have some kind of influence on the girl," he paused before adding: "I wonder why is that?"

Enishi smirked evilly now "let's just say I, too, hold a grudge against Battousai."

Kiyokawa nodded "that much is obvious, I wouldn't have accepted your help if I wasn't sure you were on our side, and I hope you would succeed in what my men had failed to do."

"And that is..." Enishi asked despite knowing the answer.

"Bringing Battousai's head to me"

* * *

After they were dismissed, Okita headed to the room where Kaoru was being held. When he reached the room, he opened the door abruptly and paused by the threshold.

Once she felt the door open, Kaoru raised her head from between her knees quickly. The two men had tied her to a wooden post situated at the middle of the cold room. Her hands were tied together behind her and another thick rope was looped around her chest to prevent her from moving.

Kaoru stared at Okita without saying anything. Mixture of emotions swelled inside of her, the most dominant two were anger and sadness.

"Kaoru..." Okita stopped when Kaoru started to speak at the same time.

"Did you plan this from the moment we met, Okita?" Kaoru asked in a calm voice "was our meeting by the river no coincidence?"

"Kaoru..." Okita took a step inside the room "this isn't important now..."

"It's important to me!" Kaoru snapped as she struggled against the ropes "I've considered you a friend, I cared about you, and you...all you did...all our meetings..."

"Were not coincidences" Okita said "every single meeting from the one by the river to the encounter in the rainy day, the party, everything was planned."

Kaoru's eyes were wide as she stared at him, she had figured this out by now, so why was the pain so unbearable as she heard it from him? Her eyes glittered with tears and she immediately buried her face in her knees.

Okita sighed as he inclined his head, then he looked at Kaoru whose face was still hidden "Kaoru, try to cooperate with him," he almost pleaded "for your own good. Enishi"- he felt her tense now- "will not have to hurt you if you are willing to help."

Kaoru remained silent.

"If you have a sense of pity, Okita" Kaoru suddenly lifted her head "if there is a trace of the kind man who I've known for the last few months, kill me...kill me but don't leave me at the mercy of Enishi" tears flowed down her cheeks, not only tears of fear but tears of frustration. Frustration at herself for being weak and helpless.

Okita was taken aback by her request. _Why is she so scared?_ But then he attributed her fear to normal reasons. She was a young girl, alone and powerless, any girl in her place would be scared "Kaoru, if you are cooperative, no one will hurt you."

"You don't understand..." Kaoru shook her head, tears flowing down her cheeks "please..."

"I'm sorry, Kaoru" Okita apologized in a sad voice before he turned and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Kaoru stared at the door as tears spilled over, then she closed her eyes and buried her face in her knees again.

The next time the door was opened, she did not raise her head to look at the arriver.

* * *

The scream was terrible.

She had been screaming for a long time, most of the men did not care what was happening to her. After all they considered her the woman of the demon who killed many of their comrades and leaders. Only one of them was affected by her cries and screams. With every gasp he heard he felt his heart being ripped to pieces, and every scream made him feel self loathing. Okita was standing around the corner of the room where Kaoru was being tortured. He wanted to burst inside and kill Enishi for whatever he was doing to her but the order was clear: _No interference._ He pressed his back to the wall and closed his eyes trying to calm his breathing. His hands were fisted into tight balls at his sides. Then he heard a splash of water and a loud gasp coming from the room and he pushed himself off the wall heading towards it when suddenly Saito appeared out of nowhere.

"Where are you going, Okita?"

"Saito-san!" Okita jumped, he did not feel him approach, his all senses were with every scream Kaoru made.

"You can't go inside" Saito reminded him.

"Saito-san, can't you hear? He is killing her!" Okita was shaking with anger "we can't allow this to continue."

"There is a chance we will obtain good information out this. If we don't," Saito's voice was dark "I will kill the bastard myself."

"You may be too late, listen to her" although her screaming had stopped Okita could hear her choked sobs clearly "oh Saito-san, we are supposed to bring order and peace to Japan, we are supposed to make this place better."

Saito was silent for a minute listening to the cries and sobs of Kaoru, then he looked at Okita, his amber eyes hard "better does not mean better for everyone it always means worse for some."

Okita stared wide-eyed at Saito, taking few steps backwards. Then he turned the other way and started to run just as the scream started again.

Outside the storm was raging.

* * *

Next morning.

Okita made his way quickly to the room where Kaoru was held. He had not remained in this headquarters last night, not trusting himself in obeying Kiyokawa's order. Still, he had not gotten any sleep, all his thoughts had been with Kaoru. He wanted to see her and he was not disobeying any order by doing it now. Kiyokawa only said: _No interference _and as far as Okita knew the questioning wouldn't be resumed until later this night.

He halted by the door, trying to catch any voices.

But there was nothing but silence.

Okita slid the door open and stepped in. Immediately his sense of smell was assailed by the odour of blood.

"Kaoru!" Okita breathed in shock.

Kaoru was bound to the same wooden post. But this time she was bound vertically, her arms raised above her head, her back was to the door and her kimono was stained red in different places.

Okita crossed the room to her in two long strides, he touched her hair gently and to his horror he felt that it was completely wet, in fact she was drenched in water from head to toe.

"Kaoru...Kaoru can you hear me?" he asked anxiously.

Her eyes were closed and her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Her cross shaped scar was bleeding and a rough thick rope, tied around her wrists, held her hands above her head, pulling her upwards so that she had to stand on her toes to lessen the pulling force of the rope. Kaoru tried to press herself further against the wooden post "pl..please...dddon't...hurt me" her teeth was chattering so strongly that she couldn't speak coherently.

Okita's eyes soften "Kaoru it's me Okita, I won't hurt you."

Kaoru's eyes started to open slowly when she heard his name "Oo..ookita.." she managed to give something resembling a smile when she recognised him.

Okita stared at her eyes which were bloodshot and puffy before he reached up for her restraints to untie her. He did so with extreme delicacy because he noticed that blood trickled down her forearms as a result of the rough rope, which was so tight that it bit into the broken skin of her wrists.

As soon as he freed her, Kaoru collapsed but Okita held her before she hit the floor. He lowered her down slowly, and even though he was careful not to strain her body, Kaoru started to whimper in pain.

"I am sorry, Kaoru" Okita apologized as his eyes roamed over her body, assessing the damage. Apart from the big red stain at her left side, every visible part of her body was bruised. He looked away to a thick wooden stick cluttered on the floor, he had no doubt that it was used to beat some information out of her.

Okita gritted his teeth. This was outrageous. Even when they captured a soldier for interrogation they never resorted to such extreme measures.

"I..I'm..so...sorry..." Okita winced when he heard her broken voice. A shiver rippled through Kaoru's weak body violently. He looked at her puzzledly. _What is she apologizing for?_

She started to mutter several words as she pressed herself closer to his body, seeking warmth "I..dddidn't...mean...lie...sorry" another tremor rocked through her as she kept repeating the same words. Okita understood that she wasn't addressing him. His hands moved slowly to wind around her waist as he brought her closer to him "hhhe...ha..hates..mme.." she said in a weak voice.

Although Kaoru was shivering violently Okita felt that she was so hot and her cheeks were flushed in contrast to the pallor of her body. _She has a fever_. Okita realized. And he could see why. Her bloody kimono was thoroughly wet and outside it was still snowing heavily.

He doubted that she could make it through the night if she was left untreated. A suffocating feeling gripped his heart as he realised whose fault it was. He tighten his hold around her and buried his face on her hair "I'm sorry Kaoru, I've never meant to hurt you" he kissed her blazing forehead "I will get you out of here" and he was about to lift her when he felt a movement at the entrance.

"Going somewhere?" the deep, hard voice of Enishi echoed in the room.

Okita stared darkly at Enishi's amused face and he felt Kaoru's trembling hand clutching his gi "I will take her out of here."

"Well," Enishi tilted his head to the side "that would be a problem, I am not done extracting information out of her...yet."

"Look at her!" Okita retorted angrily "you are killing her, she won't make it though another round of questioning."

Enishi surprised Okita by chuckling "oh don't worry about her, you will be surprised at how strong she is, I know how far to push and when to stop exactly" he folded his arms across his muscular chest "I am too familiar with her limits."

"You...how.." Okita gritted his teeth "she is only a girl."

"You should have thought about that when you had helped me capturing her" Enishi smirked when he saw the guilt which assailed Okita's features.

"I did not expect she would be treated like this" Okita whispered as he bowed his head.

"I must say I am surprise at your reaction," all the humour disappeared now as Enishi spoke "this isn't a behaviour of a devout Shinsen gumi member, the woman in your arms is your enemy."

Okita froze for a moment before he looked down at Kaoru, whose face was buried in his chest. _Some one like her could never be an enemy _ "I have done my duty," Okita's head was bowed as he spoke "I have captured her so we can get the required information, haven't you done that already? She is of no use to you now."

Enishi shrugged "she is so stubborn, she knows more than what I already shared with Kiyokawa so I have to question her further, and" the corner of his mouth curved upward slightly "there has been a change in the plan."

Okita raised his head to meet Enishi's eyes "change?"

"She will be used to bring about the fall of Battousai, you don't have to worry about the details, but Kiyokawa has accepted my help to deal with this matter, I will have her moved out of here soon."

"You can't" Okita tightened his hold on Kaoru.

"Are you disobeying your leader's orders?" Enishi raised one eye brow at him.

"I...No" Okita stammered before he closed his eyes, he didn't want to think of what would happen to Kaoru if she was alone at Enishi's mercy.

"I didn't think so," Enishi nodded "after all you are one of the best here" Enishi grinned triumphantly "now, I have a job to do" he crossed the room and seized Kaoru by her upper arm, pulling her away from Okita before he simply shoved her to the hard floor.

Kaoru uttered a chocked cry and whimpered as her bruised body hit the floor, her hand went to her left side, clutching her wound. On that exact moment Okita jumped to his feet, hand on his hilt.

Enishi was amused.

"You want to fight me?" he asked in a feigned shock "fight me for Battousai's woman?"

Okita was panting in fury, his hand was shaking as he griped the hilt tighter. He closed his eyes partly to calm himself and partly to block the image of Kaoru clutching her left side in pain. Then he turned quickly to the door and ran outside, trying not to block Kaoru's sobs.

_I'm sorry Kaoru, I'm really sorry.

* * *

_

Enishi stared at the door for a moment before walking to it and sliding it shut. He then turned and headed to Kaoru's quivering body. She was crying softly, clutching her side in pain. He settled on the floor next to her before grabbing her shoulders and pulling her to his lap.

Expecting her to struggle or shrink away from him, he was surprised when she pressed herself closer to him. Enishi's brow arched in confusion. Her fever must be worse than he had expected. She usually sensed him even when she was deep asleep. His eyes scrutinised her face sharply. Her eyes were closed and her lips were trembling and muttering words he couldn't make out. And though she was shaking so hard from the cold her body was so hot, and she clung to him in an attempt to warm herself.

Enishi's eyes were hard as he stared at her.

_She won't fool me...not again._

A memory of another night, the last night of Kaoru's captivity, flashed across his mind.

_Enishi was walking through the dark corridors of his mansion, a cup in his hand, heading to the room which was located on the basement. _

_He always kept her there, underground, with no windows, no sun light and no fresh air. That was a small part of the punishment. _

_He stopped by a grey door and unlocked it. _

_The room was almost dark, apart from a single torch hanging by the door. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they settled coldly on her. _

_By the the feeble light of the torch, he saw her huddled on the floor, on the corner furthest from the entrance._ _Her face was hidden in her arms, her knees pulled to her chest. She did not look up when he entered but he saw her tense and when he stepped closer to her she shrank further into the wall, whimpering. Enishi stopped a couple of paces away._

"_Look at me Kaoru" _

_Kaoru did not waste any time in obeying him. She raised her head immediately to obey his order._

_Enishi knew that she was past the stubborn and fighting-back stage. She was at this phase where she would scream before the pain came and the mere sight of him would make her cry and beg for mercy, like she was doing now._

"_Please...no more...no more pain...I can't..." she begged in a low, trembling voice as tears streamed down her face.. _

_Enishi's eyes were emotionless as he looked at her face, which was full of pain. Tears stained her skin so that it made Enishi think they would make a permanent trail on her white cheeks. There was no trace of the stubborn, spirited girl which used to spit on him or hit him whenever she was not gagged or bound. Her eyes were dim and blood shot from sleep deprivation, her lips were always trembling, even when she breathed. She resolved to begging and pleading rather than resisting him. _

_He had broken her completely in the duration she was here...which was more than a month. _

_Enishi pressed his lips on a thin line, his jaw tightening. A month... He had kept her more than he had intended, always saying he would reveal her place to Battousai the next day. _

_Kaoru kept looking at him warily, eyes filled with fear. He held her fearful gaze before he placed the cup on the floor and knelt beside her. His hands reached out and grabbed her shoulders. _

_Kaoru whimpered, a tremor shocked her from head to toe at the feeling of his rough hands on her "please..." _

_Enishi ignored her plea and pulled her carefully toward him. He settled on the floor and placed her easily on his lap. It felt as if he was carrying a child, she was so light. _

_Kaoru did not struggle nor did she try to move away, but her pulse was racing and her breath uneven in anticipation of pain. But Enishi did not hurt her, he only picked the cup again and held it to her mouth._

"_Drink" he ordered. _

_Kaoru looked uncertainly at him as if to try to catch the trick in his demand._

"_It's only water" he encouraged._

_Upon hearing those words Kaoru started to drink, for she was very thirsty. _

_Enishi eyed her face intently as she drank, before his eyes travelled to her body. She was clad in a torn sleeping yakata. It was supposed to be pure white but now it was red in many places, specially on her back, where a big red spot stained the white garment almost completely. The sleeping yakata was torn from below, making it so short that it barely reached her mid thighs. His eyes settled on her exposed legs, which were bruised and even burnt in some places. His eyes lingered on her body for few moments before he looked back at her face. She was looking at him fearfully, she did not even move her head away from the now empty cup. Enishi pulled the cup away and replaced on the floor. But he did not move or push her away, instead he wrapped his strong hand around her waist, making her whimper in pain as he touched her deformed back. Still, she did not struggle. _

_She had been like this for so long now that he could barely remember the girl he had first brought here. _

_Enishi knew exactly what broke her entirely. It wasn't the daily beating or the regular torture, nor was it the food or sleep deprivation. No it was something else. _

_It was the repeated sexual violation that shattered her spirit and changed her to the submissive girl in his arms. He saw it in her eyes, with each thrust he made, something inside her broke. He had raped her more than once, in fact he couldn't remember how many times he had forced himself on her. However, one thing he was aware of, he was addicted to her body. He had never meant to enjoy it. His original plan was to rape her once so he could throw the fact that he had touched Battousai's woman on his face. What Enishi had expected was to find her already used by Battousai. So he had been totally shocked, on the first night he had raped, her by her innocence, by her virginity..._

_Enishi was brought out if his thoughts, when he heard a low choked sob out of the girl in his arms. She started to shake uncontrollably as she cried. Kaoru herself didn't know what good it would do by crying in front of her tormentor. But she was tired of crying to the cold, grey walls, tired of hearing her sobs echo in the stone room. She wanted to express her agony and pain to a human being, someone who would feel her sorrow even if that person was the reason of all her suffering. _

_Enishi held her closer as the sorrow crushed her once more. He did not shove her away when she clung to him and sobbed harder, muttering incoherent things like: pain, home, friends...He only stared at her face, and suddenly he realised how young she was. He was aware that she was only seventeen and she wouldn't be the same after what he made her experience. He had subjected her to various awful things; hunger, extreme pain, humiliation, sexual violation, he made her do things to him and whispered dirty encouragements to her. He didn't feel much guilt for beating her, after all that was part of his revenge, but he did feel guilty after each time he raped her. He kept telling himself he would stop, however, seeing her weak, alone and defenceless intensified his lust, he was a man after all... _

"_Ke..Kenshin..." _

_This name, uttered unconsciously by a weak, broken voice, was all it took to dissolve all the feelings of pity and mercy in Enishi's heart. He suddenly shoved her hard on the hard floor, making her cry in pain as some of her wounds were reopened again. _

_And hell broke loose on her. _

_Enishi could still clearly remember that night -and he had no doubt that she still did too. The night he had almost killed her. He could still hear her screams of agony, could still see her as she curled into a small ball trying to protect her already beaten body. But this couldn't be compared to her screams when he raped her that same night. He raped her so hard and violently that she bled vigorously, ignoring her tears and begging. She begged him to kill her, to spare her the pain and his response was to beat her more after he finished with her body until her tattered yakata was completely red with blood._

_Through the whole month of her captivity, Enishi had followed a simple rule during the beating and torture sessions, which was: never touch her head, because he understood that any blow to the head can kill her immediately and because he did not want to deform her face, which he liked and thought was rendered more lovely when filled with pain. But that night he had broken the rule. The beating did not stop, it lasted hours, until she was suddenly silent. He stared angrily at her sprawled form on the floor, his fists shaking uncontrollably, his breathing hard and uneven. He saw that her eyes were still open, somehow she had stayed conscious during the terrible beating. There was a big gash on her forehead, oozing fresh blood in an alarming rate and a thin red line was trickling at the corner of her mouth. At first Enishi thought he had killed her because she was perfectly still. But then she blinked slowly, before fixing her eyes on him again. He didn't like the way she looked at him, he could almost swear that her eyes were smiling, triumphant as if she had won against him. Then her lids dropped down slowly. _

_And that was the last time he saw her blue eyes...for months._

Enishi looked down at Kaoru as she tried to absorb some of his body heat.

"Iiiit..it's cccold" she whispered.

Enishi kept looking at her coldly, he wouldn't be fooled by her innocent appearance. His strong arms moved tightly around her, so painfully tight that Kaoru gasped in pain. He ignored her as he lowered his head to her face so that their noses where almost touching. Then he crushed her lips with his, devouring her mouth hungrily. He felt her tense, as if she had just realised she was in the arms of her torturer. Her trembling hands tried to push at his chest but this only made him hold her more firmly. He purposely touched the fresh scar at her left side, making her scream in pain against his mouth, this gave him the opportunity to slide his tongue inside her mouth.

Tears spilled down Kaoru's cheeks when she felt she was suffocating. Only then Enishi broke the kiss.

He chuckled lowly under his breath "you know, I've missed you," he said as he kissed her again "but you are here now," he muttered against her mouth "and you will be moved soon to a place where you will be under my mercy...again."

"No...no..." Kaoru cried weakly.

"You don't have to worry now," Enishi said as he brushed her tears gently with his thumb "you still got few days here, I still need to keep the façade of interrogating you, and tonight," his hand moved down her body pushing the lower part of her kimono apart to expose her thighs "my methods of interrogation will be different" his hand moved slowly, deliberately up and down her thigh as he continued to kiss her "no one will help you, no one will come to save you" then he suddenly pushed her to the floor and rose to his feet "so wait for me tonight" he loomed over her for a moment before he deliver a painful kick to her side. Kaoru's breath caught in her throat, the pain was so intense that she couldn't utter a sound. She just opened her mouth trying to suck in some air.

Enishi smirked at her before he headed to the door and stepped out, not bothering to restrain her.

* * *

Kaoru was now panting for air trying to absorb the pain. She raised her head slowly looking at the door.

_Maybe...I.._

She dared to have a glimmer of hope. With one hand on her side and the other pressed to floor she tried to lift herself off the floor. She managed to rise few inches before slumping back down. Her hands were shaking so hard that she couldn't keep steady. She extended her hand in front of her trying to crawl to the door but the mere movement of her hand left her breathless and all she did as she crawled slowly was hurt herself further by scrubbing her raw wounds. So she gave up and curled into a ball, crying helplessly.

_Why should I try?_

Tears spilled down at the corner of her eyes as tried to ease the quivering which gripped her body painfully.

_I want to die._

Kenshin hated her, her friend had betrayed her and what awaited her was pain and more pain.

_It's better if I die..._

Kaoru's lids were heavy and they dropped down slowly until she completely closed her eyes.

Even in the darkness that followed there was no salvation.

* * *

Poor poor Kaoru, I am sure most you will now understand why Kaoru is so friable and submissive in my story. And next chapter you will understand more when I throw the light on the consequences of her captivity. Hehe evil evil...

Please tell me what you think.

Thanks


	14. Forgiveness

Hi there. God how late I am!! I didn't mean to update this late. But the last month of uni was pure hell, a quiz every week, deadlines for several assignments, etc…you got the idea.

Anywho this is chapter 14 and I don't know what to say but….. I don't like it!! maybe cuz it was the hardest chapter to write I don't know. But read it and please tell me what you think. It starts bleak but read till the end. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 14: Forgiveness

_"Oh Kaoru, please no Kaoru open your eyes"_

_No answer_

_"please, god, no Kaoru please"_

_Nothing_

_"Kenshin she's alive! She's breathing" another voice sounded in the stone room "she needs help, we have to take her to Megumi"_

_But the man was not listening, he just held her tight as if to protect her from the evil that had already been inflicted on her.

* * *

_

Kenshin opened his eyes.

The rurouni was sitting on the porch and leaning against the wooden post in the inn. He must have fallen sleep there.

His eyes stared at the sky.

It was near sunset.

His body was so exhausted. The last three days were a nightmare to him.

Kenshin sighed. How he wished it was really a nightmare. But he couldn't remember falling asleep those last three days, so no, this was reality.

Kaoru had been taken again.

When the younger Kenshin had told him that she was captured, he felt his whole world crumbling. He failed twice to protect her and this time he might be too late. Kenshin closed his eyes again, thinking of what might be happening to her now. Was she hungry? Or cold? Or was she in pain at this moment?

Those last days he spent searching for the only person who could talk some sense in Enishi.

Tomeo.

His hand went to his cheek, touching the scar. He had been nervous about the idea of meeting her; however, he hadn't had the time to hesitate. So he had set to look for her in all the possible places he could think off.

But…all his attempts were unsuccessful.

He wondered if she was in Kyoto at all. But now that he had the time to sit and think about it, it was unlikely. Kaoru ad told him Akira was alive so he and Tomoe must be married by now.

A sad smile appeared on Kenshin's lips.

_At least one of us is happy. _

His hands left his cheek and went to his sword.

_My first plan failed so now_, he gripped the hilt tightly _I will have to use force._

Kenshin was surprised at how the idea of shedding blood did not disgust him at all.

_Am I ready to kill for Kaoru?_ Kenshin searched within himself for the answer and what he found scared him.

A movement to his left cut through his thoughts, he tilted his head to that side and found the younger Kenshin approaching him.

When the assassin was near, he stopped next to the rurouni and stared ahead at the yard in silence.

The rurouni was aware of the reason why the younger Kenshin overcame his aggression toward him and sought his company; still he was surprise at his silence. The rurouni couldn't believe that he used to be _him._

"I have no information on the whereabouts of Kaoru," the rurouni said and felt the assassin tense then dropped his shoulders in disappointment "but I have no intention of stopping I will find her tonight" _even if I have to hurt someone…kill someone _the rurouni shook his head to clear those violent thoughts.

Silence.

The rurouni was about to stand when the other Kenshin spoke "why have you involved Kaoru in all this? Why did you allow that bastard to hurt her?"

The rurouni started, and then leaned again against the post.

_Why indeed. Because I was weak, because I couldn't bring myself to leave Kaoru, leave what I had called home for the first time. _

"Because I was selfish" the rurouni finally said "I thought Enishi would be the last ghost of my past to defeat before I could live peacefully…with Kaoru."

The younger Kenshin looked down at him sternly when he said the last two words then he stared ahead again wanting to know more "why did you kill that man's sister?" he remembered Kaoru telling him that he loved her, so why would he kill someone he loved?

"At this time, same year, I –which means you- had met a girl named Tomoe. I loved her and we were married."

The younger Kenshin looked down at him in surprise "married? You killed your wife?" and what made it more frightening that he was also talking about himself.

The rurouni nodded "I met her first on a rainy night. She saw me kill and I had to take her to the inn. She worked here and things happened as our relationship grew stronger forcing us to flee and marry as a cover," the rurouni did not want to uncover the events in which Ishin shishi lost "I loved her," Kenshin continued in a sad tone "but later I discovered that she came upon me with revenge in mind, for I had killed her fiancé," again he felt the assassin's shock "still I had refused to believe that she did not feel for me so I went and fought for her. I was wounded and tired by the time I reached my last opponent and I probably would have died if…" here Kenshin's voice trembled slightly "if she hadn't protected me and placed her body between me and my opponent taking my killing blow and" he breathed deeply "all this happened in front of Enishi, he was just a boy back then."

The younger Kenshin was lost for words. He didn't know how to feel about this story. His legs shook for some reason so he perched down next to the rurouni.

"This was how you were supposed to live. You were supposed to meet Tomoe, fall in love with her and after her death you were to wander Japan for ten years and then meet Kaoru."

The younger Kenshin's eyes went wide when he heard that. _Meet Kaoru after ten years?_ He couldn't imagine living that long without her. No he and Kaoru were meant to meet; he didn't care what the rurouni said.

"That's why me and Kaoru must return to our time before things get out of hand," the rurouni said "if they haven't already" he added, thinking of Enishi.

"How did that man capture her the first time?" the younger Kenshin wanted to know about what Kaoru had gone through.

As much as the rurouni wanted to forget this whole experience he felt the need to talk "he challenged me in her dojo. I should have known he had the desire to hurt Kaoru, because otherwise the location wouldn't have mattered. He had not come alone so I had to fight few battles at first, but my friends were with me so things were alright until my fight with Enishi started," Kenshin felt that he was living that day again, felt the pain of the wounds, the anger and the urge to protect when Enishi had made it clear that Kaoru was his target "I got injured but I fought fiercely for Kaoru, however, chaos spread when a gas bomb was used and the next thing I knew Kaoru was captured."

"Still I had felt hope because Enishi had not killed her but as the days turned into weeks and my search was a failure I grew anxious"

"How long had he kept her?" the younger Kenshin asked as he remembered what Kaoru told him about her experience there. The rape, the humiliation, the torture.

"About a month, little bit more. A letter was sent to Kaoru's dojo revealing her whereabouts which was in an island."

_The bastard._ The assassin thought.

"When I found her she was unconscious in her own blood. At first…" Kenshin took a deep breath again "I thought she was dead. She was beaten badly, what little she was wearing was completely red and she was thin, so very thin...she's been starved. But I had noticed that her serious wounds were bandaged. I had not known why Enishi would beat her half to death then care for her wounds. However, I came to realize the reason soon after" Kenshin was silent now; his eyes were fixed on the bare tree situated on the middle of the yard.

The younger Kenshin was lost in his own mind, thinking about Kaoru and dreading that they might find her in the same condition this time. He was pulled out of his thoughts when the rurouni spoke again.

"I understood that Enishi wanted me to suffer and he chose the perfect method for that. I had thought that maybe there was some hope for Enishi because he treated some of Kaoru's wounds and did not let her die. But in the next three months I realised that saving Kaoru's life was part of his revenge," icy wind blew mercilessly against them, lifting their red hair, but neither of them seemed to care "he wanted me to suffer through Kaoru's pain and he succeeded. During the first month Kaoru was barely conscious and when ever she was awake she would cry and beg us not to hurt her," Kenshin paused, all the memories of that black time came vivid in his mind "no matter how much we told her she was safe here, she kept sobbing. And the sight of me made her cry even more. She refused to eat and when Megumi forced her to, the food wouldn't stay in her stomach. Her condition was going from bad to worse. She kept saying that he was here with her, no matter how many times we assured her she was safe" the corner of Kenshin's mouth rose in a bitter smile "we should have listened carefully to her; we should have read the signs."

The younger Kenshin looked over to him. He sensed something in his voice, bitterness and self-loathing. He was blaming himself.

The rurouni kept looking straight ahead as he spoke "toward the end of the second month, we discovered the meaning behind Kaoru's words, why she had kept saying that Enishi was always with her, he…" Kenshin's voice quiver, it was hard for him to continue but he forced himself to carry on "a part of him was with her…inside of her" he paused allowing the meaning of his words to sink into the younger Kenshin's mind. It didn't take long. The assassin's head whipped toward him, his amber eyes were wide with disbelief.

"Kaoru…Kaoru got pregnant?" Kenshin's voice was no more than a whisper; he was totally shocked though he told himself he shouldn't be. She had been raped, and pregnancy was a natural consequence to sexual intercourse but he just couldn't imagine Kaoru, after all what she had been through, to be burdened with a child.

"She was on her second month when the miscarriage happened. She was too weak to support herself let alone another life within her," his hands were tight balls on his lap "I went blind with fury. I looked for Enishi everywhere with death in my mind. My oath did not calm down my desire to kill, my mind was filled with the images of Kaoru writhing on the futon when the miscarriage took place. I vowed to kill him and I caught one of his men who informed me that Enishi had left Japan," his head tilted up towards the darkening sky "till this day I don't know if I am relieved or sorry that I had not found Enishi," the bitter smile was back on lips "that's why I told you Enishi had succeeded in his revenge. His aim was for me to wish for Kaoru's death and for a moment my heart had wished she had been found dead rather than go through all the pain which came later. But what I had strongly wished for was for me and Kaoru to have never met. This would have spared her a world of pain and suffering."

"After her miscarriage, there was some change about Kaoru. She stopped crying and resolved to staring at nothing often. She started to eat a little and generally her condition got better. But whenever I was in the room with her, she would stare at me with strange look in her eyes. Her eyes were no longer the same, they were tired, they had seen so much now. Her innocence was lost forever" the rurouni paused and looked over to the younger Kenshin. He saw that the younger man's hand was on his sword and they were shaking violently with, Kenshin had no doubt, rage.

"I will succeed in what you've failed to do," the younger Kenshin vowed, feeling his blood boil with pure anger "I will make the bastard breathe his last breath with my sword deep in his throat" and even then, Kenshin thought, his anger would not be satisfied.

"Even if he died in the most painful way," the rurouni said "it won't erase the pain and suffering inflicted on Kaoru."

The younger Kenshin agreed silently, remembering Kaoru's scars. He stared at the scar on the rurouni's cheek and how it resembles Kaoru's. He was about to ask about his scar when the rurouni stepped down the porch.

"I have to go" the rurouni said "the sun had already set and I should be in my way if I want to catch one of Shinsen gumi."

"I will go with you" the assassin declared as he rose to his feet.

The rurouni glanced at him "did Katsura gave you permission"

"No" he replied simply. He would break the rule this time only. After what the rurouni had told him there was no way he would sit and wait here.

"But…" the rurouni stopped abruptly, hand on his sword.

The other Kenshih felt it too and he jumped down the porch, stopping next to Kenshin.

"Who's there?" the rurouni called.

Silence.

Both Kenshins scanned the yard sharply.

And then a figure stepped from behind a tree, far in the corner hidden by the shadows.

The figure stepped in the moonlight. The silver shafts illuminated his brown hair and chocolate eyes.

Okita

* * *

Kaoru barely opened her eyes when she heard the door slid open forcefully then close again.

It was Enishi again.

And he was very angry.

She was laying on her right side in the middle of the room, facing the door.

Enishi kept pacing the room's length over and over again. His whole large form was shaking with fury.

"I should kill you," he kept saying "I should kill you now for what he's done" he strode to her and looked down, anger radiating from his dark eyes. Kaoru thought he would beat her again but he kept glaring at her before he went back to pacing the room.

Kaoru thought that she should be scared by his anger, but she was too sick and weak to feel anything other than pain. Her breaths were irregular and she felt very cold.

And she was very tired.

Tired of being weak, tired of the constant pain that seemed to be part of her now.

Kaoru thought, no she hoped, she would die soon. But death was coming slower than she hoped, so she tried to separate her mind from her broken body again, tried to retreat within the corner of her mind. Maybe then no one would reach her, Enishi could do whatever his heart desired to her body, he couldn't possibly do more damage than he had already done. Or maybe she would try to float away from her body. Be a witness, a witness of her suffering from far off, not actually living it.

Kaoru curled into a ball more tightly; the movement made Enishi stop and notice her.

He walked to her and went down on one knee. His hand moved toward her face, touching her cheek gently.

"You are in pain, aren't you?" he said, all the traces of anger were gone. And Kaoru thought she saw pity in his eyes, or maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Nonetheless she nodded to answer his question, she tried to speak but no words came out.

But then he abruptly stood. As if he had remembered something, all the anger was back to his face.

"Tomorrow you will be moved," he smirked at her graved expression "I will have you all to myself then," there was no reaction to that on her face, Enishi pressed "but don't forget that tonight your interrogation will continue" he frowned when there was still nothing. Suddenly, when he realised what she was trying to do, he lunged at her and seized her face between his fingers, pressing hard on the hallow under her cheekbones.

"You're trying to kill yourself!" he shouted at her "you've just tried to bite your tongue!"

Kaoru closed her eyes as he pressed harder at her cheeks, her breathing became painful gasps for air yet he did not relinquish his hold on her.

"I," he hissed, bringing her face closer to his "decide when your life will end. You don't own your life Kaoru. You are mine body and soul" tears streamed down Kaoru's cheeks upon hearing those words and as she realised how true they were, more tears willed in her eyes.

Enishi placed his free hand in his pocket and pulled a piece of clothes. His hands released Kaoru's face and he wrapped the rag against her mouth, tying a knot behind her head.

"You've forced me to do this, Kaoru" he breathed before he grabbed a discarded rope on the floor. Moving behind her, he seized her hands and pressed them on her back. Kaoru started to struggle, her breathing became harder and harder, but Enishi held her easily. He stopped for a moment when he saw her wrists. They were red and raw; the blood had already dried on the broken skin. Without further hesitation he looped the thick rope around her wrists, securing them tightly.

"Think carefully before you anger me again" He rose to his feet and stared down at her as she struggled uselessly against her restraint. Enishi eyed her body hungrily, he almost crouched down again to touch her but he stopped. He could wait till tonight; there would be less chance of interrupting then.

Enishi was about to walk out of the room, but he halted, looking back toward the window. He crossed the room and opened it wide. A rush of icy wind blew into the room making Kaoru shiver to the bones.

Enishi chuckled "that will give you something to think about while I'm gone," he smirked "maybe then you will look forward to the warmth of my body" and with that he went out.

* * *

The younger Kenshin gave an angry battle cry and lunged at Okita, drawing his sword.

"Where is she?" Kenshin hissed as Okita sidestepped his attack.

"I am not here to fight" Okita tried but Kenshin wouldn't listen.

"Where is she?" the younger Kenshin thrust his blade at him again but Okita avoided it.

He was so fast.

The rurouni came between them, stepping in front of the younger Kenshin "listen to him, stop!"

"He was there," the assassin spat, his eyes glowing with anger "he had captured Kaoru with the other bastard."

The rurouni stared at Okita with sharp eyes "where is she, Okita?"

Okita stared at him in shock "how do you know my name?" he glanced from the assassin to the rurouni, thinking how strongly they resembled each other. Then he remembered Enishi saying something about another assassin, a cousin to Battousai.

"It doesn't matter how I know you, just please answer the question" the rurouni replied.

Okita focused on the reason he's here "that's why I'm here, to tell you about Kaoru..." he looked at the younger Kenshin "to help you get her back."

Both Kenshins looked at him in surprise.

"You? One of Shinsen gumi helps Kaoru-dono?" the rurouni asked.

"Yes I can manage to sneak her out. Tonight meet me near the bridge" Okita responded looking directly into the rurouni's eyes.

"This must be an ambush" the younger Kenshin spat.

"It could be," Okita replied calmly "but you wouldn't know unless you come, would you? And if you really care about Kaoru you should come, 'cause this is your only chance."

The younger Kenshin narrowed his eyes at him, but it was the rurouni who spoke "what time?"

"At nine." Okita responded "if I don't make it till ten then I've been caught."

The rurouni nodded before he asked: "why? Why are you helping us?"

"Because I want to and because…" Okita lowered his head "because I believe that Kaoru won't last this night if left without help."

Both Kenshin's eyes were wide as they look at him, then the younger Kenshin lunged at him again seizing him by his gi "what did you do to her?" he shouted.

Okita looked away "it's not me, it's Enishi. He's been interrogating her the whole night yesterday, I left her with him this morning..." Okita fisted his hands into tight balls "it's not interrogation, it is torture."

The rurouni closed his eyes. This was what he had been fearing.

The younger Kenshin gripped Okita's gi tighter as his mind counted the possibilities of the interrogating methods Enishi could use.

"If you kill me now," Okita spoke, feeling the anger rising in the assassin "you will lose the only chance to save Kaoru, he plans to move her out of Kyoto tomorrow."

The assassin glared at him for several moments before he released him.

"We will wait tonight" the assassin said as he sheathed his sword "however if she was…"

"Don't threaten me Battousai!" Okita snapped "remember your present position, and you will do good to remember also that I'm not doing it for you" with that Okita span around and left.

* * *

"Kaoru!"

Okita froze by the door. Not only because of the site of Kaoru but because of the icy air in the room. The window was wide open and he immediately ran to it, shutting it before he crouched next to Kaoru. She was breathing hard against the gag and her whole body was shivering violently. He worked quickly on her bonds and gag then he glanced at her side. To his relief the wound had stop bleeding so he wrapped her with the thick cloak and carried her in his arms. Kaoru moaned but did not open her eyes.

His eyes moved down to her tired face, he wouldn't allow her to suffer anymore. She was innocent and defendless, he joined Shinsen gumi to protect the helpless people and…

He brushed a strand away from her hot skin and let his finger caress her cheek tenderly. His finger lingered there for few moments before he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead.

Her skin was burning.

Okita pulled the hood over her head. He walked to the door and stopped, taking a deep breath.

_I can do that, for Kaoru I can do it. There is no time to waste. _

Okita had no problem sneaking out of the headquarter. In fact he did not have to _sneak _at all. It was time for the soldiers' night meal and he was supposed to cover the guarding position at this time so no one gave him any problem on his way out.

Once he was on the road he walked faster. It was around nine at night so the routes were almost empty; most people were home or drinking sakes somewhere. Besides, no one will be out in this cold weather. His feet made crunching sounds as he stepped quickly over the fresh snow. He wished that the bridge was nearer 'cause although Kaoru was wrapped in a thick cloak, it must be very cold for her. Thinking of that made him glance down at her and he froze on his place.

This time it was not from the cold.

When they left the headquarter Kaoru was panting, breathing hard for air. However, now her breath was shallow…

Almost non existing.

"Kaoru?" he shook her slightly.

No answer.

"Kaoru?" he tried again.

Nothing.

Okita started to panic. He lowered her on the ground and touched her forehead.

His eyes went wide.

She was cold, so very cold.

_Am I too late? Is she…is she…

* * *

_

The two Kenshins had been waiting by the bridge about two hours before the designated time.

It was almost nine now.

The younger Kenshin was restless, he kept walking around. The slightest movement made him look around.

"They are late" the younger Kenshin whispered to himself, but the rurouni, who was leaning against the bridge's rail, heard him clearly. He had had no words of comfort to offer. Though he kept a calm façade he was restless from the inside.

_What if Okita was caught? What will they do to Kaoru? Or had Enishi already taken her away? What if…_

So many possibilities and all he could think of were the bad ones. He took a deep breath and glanced at the assassin who was still pacing around.

Just then they sensed a movement, someone was moving fast towards them.

Kenshin pushed himself away from the rail and went to stand next to the younger Kenshin just as Okita emerged from behind one of the corners, about fifteen paces away.

And someone was in his arms.

The younger Kenshin was the first to run towards them but the rurouni followed closely.

Just as they were close enough to hear Okita's ragged breath, the younger Kenshin extended his arms and snatched the unconscious girl from Okita, pressing her close to his body. As a result of the abrupt movement the hood fell off Kaoru's head, her head rested limply on the crook of Kenshin's neck.

Both Kenshins gasped when they saw the state she was in. She was as pale as death and there were bruises along her cheeks and neck.

"She…she's bleeding" Okita breathed as he leaned down and rested his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath "she ne…needs help…now."

"Who did this to her?" the younger Kenshin demanded fiercely, glaring at Okita with cold golden eyes.

"This is not the time.." the rurouni spoke.

"Who!!" the assassin ignored him.

Okita stared at the younger Kenshin for a moment "I told you, it was that man Enishi, none of Shinsen gumi had hurt her."

"Think again," the younger Kenshin spat "you are as responsible as that bastard" and he turned on his heels and start running in the direction of the inn.

The rurouni stared sympathetically at Okita, whose eyes were wide with shock as the implications of the assassin's words dawned on him.

"Thank you, Okita" the rurouni smiled at him and he was about to turn when Okita spoke.

"Please" Okita spoke softly; his head hang down in shame "please tell Kaoru that I'm sorry, ask her to forgive me" _that is if she lived._ Okita thought bitterly as new pain gripped his heart.

Kenshin moved closer to Okita and placed one hand on his shoulder. He respected this soldier, remembering how he fought honourably in the war. Kenshin would be forever grateful for what he did today.

Okita looked at the warm purple eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder "don't worry. Kaoru-dono will forgive you" Kenshin's smile was proud "she has a big heart."

Okita nodded and smiled weakly at him, somehow reassured by his words.

Kenshin smiled back and took off towards the inn.

Okita stood on his place staring after the disappearing figure, he didn't know how long he was there, minutes, hours but when he snapped out of his stupor he realised it was snowing.

He lifted his head to the sky, thinking of Kaoru.

_Has she already been taken care of? Or was that assassin too late?_

He doubted that Battousai would be late in attending to her; he seemed protective and capable of taking care of her.

Okita smiled bitterly, _so unlike me._ He thought he wouldn't be able to offer anything to Kaoru…

Not for too long anyway.

As if the gods seemed to agree with him a coughing fit seized him and he went to his knees, coughing strongly. He covered his mouth with his hands and blood dripped from between his fingers, dropping on the white snow.

The coughing subsided and his sad eyes stared down at the white snow, now stained with red smudges. _This must be a punishment. _Okita thought.

But the question was: was it a punishment for betraying his friend? Or his leader?

* * *

Kenshin placed Kaoru on the futon just as the doctor came in the room. He had called him before he and the other Kenshin had gone to the bridge. The doctor now knelt beside Kaoru and was about to help Kenshin remove the cloak but stopped when Kenshin glared at him.

The physician gulped nervously "her clothes need to be removed so I can examine her."

"Let him do it," the rurouni's voice sounded near the door "every minute delay is a danger to Kaoru's life."

The younger Kenshin stared coldly at him before he removed the cloak.

The three of them gasped when their eyes fell on the large red stain on her side.

"There is no time," the doctor said as he picked a knife out of his bag "the bleeding needs to be stopped now" and he began to cut at Kaoru's obi.

"Wait!" the younger Kenshin ordered and stared at the rurouni "I can understand why the doctor has to see her body but you…"

"Stop it!" the rurouni retorted "she needs-"

"Get out of the room!"

"I won't move out of here unless you do."

The doctor glanced between them "please both of you…she will die."

Both Kenshins stared at the pale girl on the futon, then the younger Kenshin rose to his feet and headed for the door.

"Care for her as you do your own blood" he glared threateningly at the doctor.

"Yes, yes I understand."

Once they were outside, the younger Kenshin started to pace the corridor. Many emotions were swelling inside his heart. However, the most dominant one was rage.

When he had seen Kaoru's bloody kimono anger boiled his blood inside his vessels.

Oh, how he wanted to kill that man.

And he would kill him.

Kenshin vowed silently that he would make waterfall out of Enishi's blood.

He stopped and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself.

After what seemed like forever the doctor slid the door open, wiping his hand. The younger Kenshin walked inside the room immediately while the rurouni talked with the doctor.

"The bleeding had stopped," the assassin heard the doctor as he stared at the unconscious girl, she was naked under the cover, he could see. Her breathing was irregular and her face was now flushed "but she has a strong fever," the doctor continued "you have to call someone to dress her, she must be kept warm and the wet piece of clothes on her forehead needs to be changed regularly to cool her skin."

"Are there other wounds?" the rurouni asked anxiously "I mean has she been…" Kenshin struggled to continue the question.

"You mean violated?" now the younger Kenshin stared at the doctor. The physician cleared his throat, uncomfortable under Kenshin's glare "no, no, there was no evidence of _recent_ forced intercourse" the doctor emphasized the word recent.

The younger Kenshin's hands were tight balls at his lap.

"But," the doctor carried on "she has other injuries; a couple of broken rips and bruises at various places of her body. I assume that she had been beaten repeatedly with a hard object. Despite that her head doesn't seem to be affected and that is a good thing of course."

The rurouni closed his eyes as if to control some deep emotion then he looked at Kaoru with great sadness in his eyes.

"Now if you will excuse me" the doctor said "I need to go back to the clinic but I will come again tomorrow to check on her."

The rurouni nodded, eyes still on Kaoru "thank you for you help, I will walk you to the door" Kenshin tore his eyes away from Kaoru and fixed them on the younger Kenshin "could you please call one of the girls while we're gone?"

The younger Kenshin nodded. He didn't want to leave Kaoru alone but he must get someone to dress her. Though he would be more than happy to do it himself, he knew that the other Kenshin was watching him. Not that he cared about him but it wasn't the time for argument. So he rose to his feet and followed them outside.

* * *

When Okita arrived at the headquarter he knew what all the fuss was about.

"Don't give me that crap," he heard Enishi's voice as he rounded the corner "there is no way someone could have sneaked in, it must someone from…" he paused when he saw Okita "speaking of the devil" Enishi muttered angrily under his breath.

"What is this all about?" Okita asked as he looked at the gathering soldiers, all of them appeared to be nervous and uncertain.

"I am glad you have decided to show yourself, Okita" Enishi said "we have a big problem here."

"And that is?" Okita asked.

"There is a traitor among Shinsen gumi."

Okita narrowed his eyes "may I ask how you came upon this conclusion?"

"The girl is gone" Enishi spat with evident anger.

Okita feigned a surprise expression "Kaoru is gone? When?"

"When you weren't around."

"What are you implying?"

"Wasn't today your shift to secure the position of guarding?" Enishi replied angrily "Yet you were no were to find when the girl had disappeared."

There were sharp inhales of breath among the soldiers. Despite Okita's young age he was respected by his comrades for his skills and devotion.

"So you are accusing of freeing her?" Okita asked calmly.

"No, no of course not," Enishi smirked "I just want to know were you've been in the last few hours."

"I was around, securing the area."

"Any proof?" Enishi demanded.

Okita remained silent.

"Okita-san," one captain spoke among the soldiers "prove him wrong"

No words left Okita's mouth for few moments before he said: "I can't give any proof, I was alone."

"Okita-san…." The captain breathed, eyes wide.

Okita was aware that no one believed him. How could they? He had left his post unguarded and it happened to be at the same time Kaoru had disappeared.

"Okita-san," the captain said, not looking at him "we have to inform Kiyokawa-sama about that."

Okita smiled and nodded "I understand."

Two soldiers stepped at both sides of him. They looked down, not meeting his eyes. Just when they were about to seize him a voice made them stop.

"I don't think that is necessary."

The gathering soldiers parted to make way for the newcomer.

"Saitou-san" Okita said.

Enishi crossed his hands over his broad chest "don't interfere, Saitou. There is enough evidence to condemn Okita" Enishi smiled evilly "and you know what happens to traitors."

Saitou's amber eyes were icy cold "Okita is one of our best soldiers, if not the best. Do not associate him with treason."

"He helped Battousai's woman to escape. This sounds like treason to me" Enishi responded.

"And your evidence?"

"He left his guarding post the same time she disappeared."

Saito tilted his head towards Okita "you didn't tell them, did you Okita?" Saitou continued without giving Okita the chance to reply "I sent him in a mission."

"What mission?"

"Patrolling, I have heard about some Ishin shishi activity in town so I sent him to investigate." Saito shrugged "but it has been a false alarm."

"Why didn't he say something about it earlier?"

"You seemed so intended to condemn him that I'm sure he felt it was useless to argue."

Enishi narrowed his eyes at him "then would you care to explain how could the girl have disappeared?"

"That is your mystery to solve," Saitou replied as he turned to leave "she was your captive after all" and he left followed by Okita.

* * *

As both men walked in the corridor Okita stopped, falling few steps behind the taller man "thank you, Saitou-san."

Saitou halted but kept his back to Okita "don't get use to me saving your head, next time you think of pulling something like that , you're on your own."

"I just couldn't leave her like…"

"Don't Okita," Saitou said as he looked at Okita over his shoulder "just don't."

Then he walked away.

* * *

The next morning as promised, the doctor came to examine Kaoru again. She had yet to awake and her fever did not subside at all. Both Kenshins did not leave her side and Katsura paid several visits to check on her.

"Is she any better, Himura-san?" Katsura asked the rurouni on the second night as he watched her from the door.

Kenshin shook his head "the fever is as bad as when she has been brought here. I wish she will wake up to eat something, her body is so weak," Kenshin paused "it is as if Kaoru-dono refuses to wake up."

Katsura's eyes settled on Kaoru's face for a moment before they focused on his assassin who was kneeling next to Kaoru and damping her forehead with wet clothes.

After Katsura excused himself, the older Kenshin went back to his position at the other side of Kaoru, opposite to the other Kenshin.

Kaoru was panting heavily and her skin was burning. The rurouni reached his hand under the cover and touched her hand, ignoring the younger Kenshin's glower.

The younger Kenshin did not like the rurouni touching Kaoru; in fact he did not want anyone to touch her apart from himself. He wanted to shield her with his body and prevent anyone from coming near her. His eyes were fixed sharply on the rurouni when suddenly he sensed Kaoru's movements.

First her head shook right and left, and then she started to writhe and the struggle earnestly.

"Shhhh Kaoru-dono" the rurouni spoke softly as he touched her hand "it's okay, you're safe now."

She had been doing this a lot since she had been rescued. Both Kenshins knew that she was having nightmares.

The younger Kenshin wetted the piece of clothes and just as he was about to place it on Kaoru's forehead her lids flew open. Kenshin started for a moment.

"Kaoru…" he breathed.

Kaoru kept her eyes on him. They were unfocused and hazy as if she was still dreaming.

"Kaoru-dono!" the rurouni said "can you hear me?"

But Kaoru did not look his way; her eyes remained focused on the younger Kenshin. Then tears appeared at the corner of her eyes.

"I'm…sor…sorry" Kaoru's voice was hoarse and low "I…I didn't mean…to lie, don't…hate…me..."

The younger Kenshin froze on his place; he sat staring at Kaoru without moving as she kept repeating her apology. But suddenly she started to struggle and attempted to sit up.

"No, Kaoru-dono" the rurouni placed his hand on her shoulder "don't, you will hurt yourself…"

"NO!" Kaoru fought against him "don't hurt me please…no more…"

The rurouni tried to calm her with no use then he placed one hand behind her shoulders and the other looped gently around her waist as he pulled her to his chest "it's alright Kaoru, it's alright," he whispered to her, trying to ease her "no one will hurt you, you're safe here" he rocked her gently back and forth, until her resistance ceased and she clung to him "I will protect you."

The younger Kenshin snapped out of his reverie as he heard those words. He made this same promise to her weeks ago.

And he had failed to keep it.

Not only he allowed her to suffer at the hands of Enishi, but he had hurt her himself and now she was suffering due to it, and asking for _his_ forgiveness.

The assassin clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, his shoulders were shaking. He stared at Kaoru as her bandaged hand fisted around the rurouni's gi. He never felt self-loathing as strong as he did at this moment. He was the one who's supposed to comfort her, care for her and protect her. But how could he do so if he was one of the reasons of her suffering?

Kenshin abruptly stood up and stepped out of the room, leaving Kaoru with the rurouni.

Seeing her in his arms was killing him, yet he couldn't bring himself to hold her.

He felt worthless.

* * *

Hours later, when it was almost midnight the younger Kenshin made his way again to Kaoru's room. Relief washed over him when he found that the rurouni was not there.

Walking to her futon, he settled beside her and found her deep asleep. He placed his sword on the floor beside him and bowed his head. He inhaled deeply before he raised his head and looked at Kaoru with sad eyes.

Kenshin took her hand in his "Kaoru," he paused for long moments, looking at her sleeping face "ever since we've met you've opened your heart to me and showed me kindness like no other," he pressed his lips to the back of her hand "while all I have done is hurt you," his expression softened as he stared at her face "you were like a candle in my dark and bloody world, always shining, always warm and beckoning to your light..."

"You asked me to forgive you but I'm the one who should beg for your forgiveness" Kenshin placed his hands on his lap and bowed his head low "so Kaoru, if you can hear me, please forgive me, for I love you. I guess I loved you the moment I saw you but I was stubborn and refused to believe my heart. I don't deserve your forgiveness. Still…" he bent down slowly and brushed his mouth against hers "I'm truly sorry" he kissed her softly.

At the moment the door was slid open.

The rurouni stood astonished by the door, staring the assassin's body crouched over Kaoru.

"What the hell are you doing?" the rurouni almost hissed as he stepped into the room.

The younger Kenshin moved slowly and pressed another kiss on Kaoru's forehead.

"Are you taking advantage of her?" the rurouni pressed angrily as he closed the door.

"I don't have to explain anything to you" the younger Kenshin responded coldly.

The rurouni gritted his teeth, he wanted to shout and unsheathe his sword but Kaoru needed her rest. So instead, he moved to his place next to her as he watched the younger Kenshin rise to his feet and settle against the wall, closing his eyes. The rurouni sighed and looked at Kaoru; he reached his hand out and smoothed a strand away from her face before touching her forehead. She was still hot but at least her breath was regular. His eyes lingered on her face, although she looked tired she was still beautiful, Kenshin thought. Her black hair was free and it framed her face perfectly. And her mouth was parted slightly, giving Kenshin the desire to kiss it. But he wouldn't be like the younger Kenshin.

He looked up to see the assassin's eyes glaring at where his hand touched Kaoru. His glare was intense and dangerous as if he was ready to jump at him if he made the wrong move. However, the rurouni could care less. He had just opened the door to find him kissing her; he could kill the younger man for that.

Finally the rurouni pulled his hand and he too went to the opposite wall.

He welcomed sleep with open arms.

* * *

Early next morning, the younger Kenshin stirred out of sleep before the rurouni. He stood up, moving soundlessly towards Kaoru. His hand moved to his eyes, rubbing them gently as he sat down next to the futon. Just as he removed his hand away from his eyes he stiffened, looking at Kaoru.

Her blue eyes were opened and she was looking at him.

"Kaoru…" Kenshin's body was tense, waiting for her to cry or fall into unconsciousness again, instead she smiled weakly.

"Kenshin…"

The younger Kenshin only stared at her; afraid he was dreaming. Even as he felt the other Kenshin moving towards them he kept looking at her.

"Kaoru-dono!" the rurouni said in shock "are you alright? How do you feel?"

"I…" Kaoru now looked at the rurouni "I'm...thirsty."

The rurouni couldn't be happier he reached for the cup next to the futon and placed his hand under Kaoru's neck, helping her to drink.

Kaoru's closed her eyes momentarily, breathing deeply as if the act of drinking was too much work for her. She tried to sit straight but the rurouni placed one hand on her shoulder "easy Kaoru-dono you're still weak."

"I feel sore" she whispered "I want to sit."

"You will sit soon enough," the rurouni said, touching her forehead carefully "I will bring food now. You're hungry Kaoru-dono, are you not?"

Kaoru smiled and nodded slowly.

"I won't be long" the rurouni said smiling warmly at her. His eyes focused on the younger Kenshin briefly before he rose to his feet and stepped out of the room.

Once he was out, Kaoru turned towards the other Kenshin. His eyes never left her face for any moment, still, he said nothing.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered as she reached her hand slowly from under the cover and touched Kenshin's "I forgive you and…" she squeezed his hand gently "I love you too."

The emotions that overwhelmed Kenshins were so great that he, for the first time in his life, felt like crying. He took Kaoru's hand in both his and kissed it gently. Warm feeling spread through his veins and to his heart. It was a strange feeling, it was a great feeling…

…he felt alive.

* * *

Now, now Kaoru's back finally. The next chapters will be kinda joyful –well as joyful as this fic can be- however I need some help from my creative reviewers. I need few suggestions. Don't panic, I'm not having a writer block, I know exactly where I'm going with this fic but there is this event which will trigger the beginning of the end but I still feel early for it so I need few suggestions for the next couple of chapters. I have some…. (sexy) ideas of my own –hint hint- but some help will be appreciated. So get creative and…review please.

C ya.


	15. Past Mistakes

Hi again, I hope it hadn't been long since I have updated. I figured I should update now before uni starts properly and I will be too busy to write quickly.

Thanks people for all the wonderful reviews sobs sobs they made my day.

**Lise**: I just laughed when I read your suggestion about threesome. I can't say I haven't thought about it in my hentai mind but I can't actually write it. Kaoru has been traumatised enough that handling one person is too much for her let alone two. But I might write one for the fun of it and post it on my journal hehe.

**The Spirit Mage: **You have some interesting questions; yes Kaoru's relationship with the rurouni is more complicated than hers with the other Kenshin. But most of your questions will be answered next chapter because my plan for chap 16 is to flash out Kaoru's affair with the rurouni. And thanks for your encouragement ;-)

WARNING: this chapter contains adult themes towards the end, so if this disturbs you in one way or another don't kill me...

* * *

Chapter 15: Past Mistakes

_"Kenshin..." Kaoru said as she reached her hand slowly from under the cover and touched Kenshin's hand "I forgive you and…" she squeezed his hand gently "I love you too."_

_The emotions that overwhelmed Kenshins were so great that he, for the first time in his life, felt like crying. He took Kaoru's hand in both his and kissed it gently. Warm feeling spread through his veins and to his heart. It was strange feeling, it was great feeling…_

…_he felt alive. _

"Are you feeling all right?" the younger Kenshin asked in a gentle voice, as one of his hands brushed a strand away from Kaoru's cheek "are you in pain?"

Kaoru managed to shake her head weakly "I feel better."

The younger Kenshin was about to speak when the rurouni appeared at the door, holding a tray. Kaoru turned her head towards him and smiled as he placed the tray near the futon and settled next to it.

"It's only water and miso soup, Kaoru-dono," the rurouni explained "you haven't eaten for sometimes so you can't have solid food for now."

Kaoru nodded.

"I will help you to sit now," the rurouni continued and was about to lean over to help Kaoru when the younger Kenshin interfered by putting both his hands on Kaoru's shoulders.

"I will do it" the assassin said firmly while glaring sharply at the rurouni, daring him to object.

The rurouni matched his glare but retreated eventually, not wanting to ruin his own happiness at Kaoru's recovery.

For a moment Kaoru looked between them, confused. But when the younger Kenshin moved one hand behind her shoulders and started to raise her upper part, a sharp pain shot through her side. She winced and bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying out. The last thing she wanted was to worry them more, however, both of them did notice her pain because she heard the rurouni's sharp voice "be careful with her!" she felt the younger Kenshin tense as he looked down at her.

"It's all right," Kaoru tried to reassure them "I'm fine."

The younger Kenshin helped Kaoru slowly to a sitting position. Unable to support herself, Kaoru leaned on the assassin's shoulder. His right arm sneaked around her waist to give her further support.

"Kaoru-dono, are you all right?" the rurouni asked as he noticed cold sweat break on her forehead and her breath become uneven.

"I am...fine...I..." Kaoru paused and breathed in deeply "I guess I've been lying for long time" she smiled at the rurouni.

The rurouni smiled back, though not convinced by her words. He sensed that she was in pain. The wound on her side, though did not affect a vital organ, was the deepest and would take sometimes to heal. These were his thoughts when he picked up a cup full of water "here Kaoru-dono I will help you to drink, keep your hands warm under the cover."

Kaoru nodded, she didn't want to move either hand. One was clutching her side to ease the pain and the other was on Kenshin's left hand, under the cover. She drank slowly and even when he helped her with the soup, she didn't mind. She was so hungry that she finished the entire bowel. No one could blame her, after all Enishi wasn't a generous host.

The assassin, though kept an impassive face, didn't like the older Kenshin feeding Kaoru. He should be taking care of her alone and he thought that the rurouni was so close to Kaoru for his own liking.

"There is more," he heard the rurouni's voice "I will bring some."

"No" Kaoru said "thanks Kenshin but I'm satisfied now, I just want to lie down again."

The rurouni nodded while the younger Kenshin helped her down slowly. Once she was comfortably on her back, Kaoru breathed deeply. Her head turned towards the window to judge the time, but it was closed.

"What time is it?" Kaoru asked trying to keep her eyes open, she felt so tired and weak.

"It's early in the morning, the sun is rising as we speak" it was the rurouni who answered.

Kaoru looked at him "have I been sleeping for long?"

"For about two days you were unconscious, Kaoru-dono" the rurouni said "your fever was strong but-" he now reached his hand and touched her forehead "it's better now."

Kaoru smiled sleepily at him "your hand is warm."

If Kaoru wasn't so dizzy she would have felt the younger Kenshin's hand squeeze hers tightly and she would have seen him glaring daggers at the rurouni.

The rurouni ignored him; he had only eyes for Kaoru.

Soon enough Kaoru's lids dropped down and her breath became even as she drifted quickly to sleep.

The younger Kenshin now looked at Kaoru's face. She seemed in a peaceful sleep. Her features were relaxed and he could almost see traces a smile on her lips.

And he didn't like it.

Because the smile wasn't for him.

"You know, it isn't fair," the assassin stared at the rurouni when he heard his voice. The rurouni's violet eyes were fixed on Kaoru's face "it isn't fair that you keep Kaoru here in this time...by your side."

"No one asked for your opinion," the younger Kenshin snapped, he was angry by the mere presence of the rurouni. Furthermore, the way the rurouni was looking at Kaoru unnerved the young assassin.

"It's not fair for her, I mean," the rurouni continued as though the other man had not spoken "she has suffered so much and you will still make her suffer by binding her to you" now the rurouni looked at the assassin's hand, it was on top of Kaoru's left hand which protruded from under the cover.

"I will keep her safe; I will make sure of that."

"Yes, I have no doubts that you will, after all we are the same person," the rurouni ignored the scowl on the younger Kenshin's face; he knew that the assassin did not consider himself the same person "but what are you going to do about the disasters of war? Are you so selfish as to keep her by your side while you fight? Or make her suffer by waiting for you?"

The younger Kenshin clenched his free hand tightly "there is a chance we can eradicate the shogunates here in Kyoto without war."

The rurouni smiled bitterly "that's what I had kept thinking until the war broke and lasted for four years."

The assassin jerked his head towards him, for a moment despair showed on his face but he concealed it immediately, and only shock remained "four years?"

The rurouni nodded "this had been the duration of the evolution in which I had fought before I gave up killing and started wandering. I can't say the same about now though since many things had been changed," he now looked at Kaoru "but there is a chance it will be longer than that and Kaoru deserves to live a peaceful life," then he fixed his eyes sharply on the assassin "so you have to understand when I take her back to our time."

"You. Will. Not. Take. Her." the younger Kenshin said each word slowly and deliberately, but they carried anger and malice. He clenched his hand and almost glowered at the rurouni, his glowing amber eyes conveyed murderous intentions.

The rurouni was taken aback by that. He expected to reach the assassin by his speech but it had only served to enrage the young man. Then he narrowed his eyes "I didn't know how selfish I was."

"Stop speaking like tha,t" the assassin hissed "me and you are different, I will never be like you and I will prove it."

The younger Kenshin said the last few words louder than he wanted and he felt Kaoru stir in her sleep. Both of them looked at Kaoru but, to their relief, she remained asleep.

Suddenly, the younger Kenshin rose to his feet, stepping out quickly and closing the door behind him. He was seething with anger. The rurouni's words had affected him, however...

_I will not let her go. She's mine._

No matter what, the young assassin thought, Kaoru was going nowhere.

* * *

The rurouni sighed deeply when he was alone. Things were harder than he had expected. His younger self was determined to make Kaoru stay. Kenshin's eyes settled on Kaoru's face. He wouldn't allow her to suffer more. Yes, he was more determined than the other Kenshin.

He was going to take her back, no matter what.

* * *

In Shinsen gumi headquarters.

"So you had gotten something useful out of her" Kiyokawa, the leader of Shinsen gumi, said as he faced Enishi, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his muscular chest.

"Yes," Enishi replied "I had managed to squeeze this piece of information out of her, and would have gotten more if she hadn't escaped" he finished darkly.

"It's still a mystery how she managed to be rescued" the leader sighed.

"Maybe you should start questioning your soldiers" Enishi suggested.

"It won't be necessary. My men hate Battousai so fiercely that they won't sympathise with his woman, someone must have sneaked in."

"Then you should worry that it might happen again," Enishi shrugged "anyway, you should contact the Bakufu's leader and tell him about Ishin shishi's plan."

"Yes indeed, what the girl had told you means war, and we will be ready for it."

Enishi smirked as the leader turned to look through the window. His real plan had started and once again he had used Kaoru. Of course she had not revealed any of what he had told Kiyokawa, it was all part of his plan.

Enishi just turned and went out of the room without a word. He was still mad because his first plan failed. Kaoru was supposed to be under his mercy now, in the outskirts of Kyoto. Enishi felt excitation surge through his body at the thought of what he had intended to do with her. His lust for her had not subsided through the months in which he had not seen her and it had intensified when he had captured her again. He longed to feel her small body beneath his, to feel her lips against his, to be inside her...

"Damn!" Enishi cursed _I think I will go to that brothel tonight. _

He fisted his hands tightly.

_Kaoru, _he thought angrily, _you will pay next time I capture you, you will pay dearly.

* * *

_

The older Kenshin made his way to Kaour's room. She had been given a private room to help her rest and well...so that both of he and the younger Kenshin could stay near her. It had been two days since Kaoru had awakened for the first time and she was still recovering.

Kenshin halted by the door. For a moment he remained motionless before sliding the door open slowly.

A smile broke onto his face as he observed that Kaoru was awake.

"Kenshin," Kaoru smiled back and made it to sit.

Kenshin was immediately by her side, helping her "how are you feeling today?"

"Much better," Kaoru replied, the wound on her side was still hurting but it's tolerable now "what time is it?" she glanced at the window which was closed.

"It's past eight in the evening" Kenshin stared at Kaoru who was still glancing at the closed window "I know it must be irritating not knowing what time it is most of the day, but it's for your own good, it's snowing outside."

Kaoru nodded "I can't wait to move again, I must have become a burden to you all."

Kenshin shook his head "don't say that Kaoru-dono, I love taking care of you."

Kaoru smiled as she reached out and patted his hand "thanks," she retracted her hand and looked down "the...the other Kenshin is in a mission, right?"

The rurouni nodded "yes, Katsura has just told me so."

"I see," Kaoru wondered when he was coming back; she wanted to be there for him.

Both were silent for a while.

"It must be strange," Kaoru said after a moment "meeting your past self, I mean" she looked at Kenshin.

Kenshin sighed "very strange and uncomfortable, it's hard to tolerate him most of the times. I can't believe I used to be him."

Kaoru gave a soft laugh. Even the over-patient rurouni was at loss when it came to the young man "yes," she agreed "I can hardly believe it myself; it is as though you and him are different person."

"Still," his violet eyes locked her blue one in a hard gaze "me and him are one."

Kaoru couldn't break their eye contact; she kept staring at him feeling that he was giving her a certain message under those words. His eyes were serious and stern, and now she could see the resemblance between both men.

She bent her head downwards trying to avoid the inevitable thoughts which Kenshin was conveying to her. She kept staring at her lab.

An uncomfortable silence settled upon them.

"How long have I..have I been captive?" Kaoru, eager to break the silence, asked looking down at her bandaged wrists.

"Almost three days Kaoru-dono" the rurouni replied, staring at her closely "thanks to Okita, you didn't complete the third day."

Now Kaoru looked at him "Okita??"

"Yes he is the one who sneaked you out of Shinsen gumi's place."

Kaoru was surprised by this. She had wondered how she'd been rescued. The last thing she remembered was being cold to the bones on the floor, unable to move after Enishi had tied her. She tried to remember Okita but all she recalled was him arguing with Enishi about something.

"You must be unable to remember that Kaoru-dono, you were unconscious and barely alive when Okita brought you."

"Did he bring me here?"

"No, we met him by the bridge and," the rurouni paused "he asked for your forgiveness."

Kaoru, for few moments, stared at Kenshin silently then she smiled, shaking her head. Tears were welling in her eyes "Of course I forgive him. I can't begrudge Okita, no matter what. He shouldn't have asked," Kaoru wanted to see him again to tell him it was okay, that she didn't hold anything against him.

Again silence settled on the room.

It was Kaoru who broke it again "I still don't understand," she said softly.

Kenshin waited for her to continue.

"I still don't understand why Enishi is doing this," she paused. Talking about Enishi was something hard for her "Tomoe-san is alive; I thought if he sees her he will come to his senses and forget about revenge. However..."

"He seems more determined than before," the rurouni continued for her.

Kaoru nodded "his anger is fuelled by something, he has been so angry when...when he has hit me last time."

The rurouni's hands fisted on his lab.

"I wish I could talk to, Tomoe-san," Kaoru carried on "she is the only one who can save him."

Kenshin stared at her, astonished "Save him?"

"Yes save him," Kaoru said in a firm voice "Killing him won't do any good...right, Kenshin?" Kaoru looked closely at the rurouni, who did not meet her gaze "Kenshin...?"

"I don't know any more, Kaoru-dono," the rurouni shook his head "I used to think there is a hope for him, but after this..." Kenshin took a deep breath "...he had nearly killed you again," he looked at her now and Kaoru could see fear in his violet eyes "I had nearly lost you."

"Kenshin..." Kaoru didn't continue, she could tell it had been very hard on Kenshin seeing her near death for the second time "still...don't you think Tomoe-san can help him? If we just..."

"I tried to find her while you were captive, however she was nowhere to be found" the rurouni wanted to meet her badly, he wasn't sure what he would say, but somehow seeing her alive was like undoing the greatest mistake in his life even though that was literally impossible, after all the proof of his crime was still here. His hand went to his left cheek. This scar was one proof of the fact that he **did** kill Tomoe, however...

He stared at the girl on the futon, his eyes settling on Kaoru's bandaged neck then moving to her bandaged wrists. These were only small examples of the scars she was carrying.

Kaoru was the greatest proof of his past mistake...

...a living proof.

* * *

The younger Kenshin walked soundlessly on the silent corridors. It was past midnight and everyone was already asleep. Upon reaching Kaoru's room he slid the door slowly and stepped in, closing the door silently. Although all the candles had been put off, he could see clearly because the fireplace was still burning at end of the room. The rurouni was perched against the wall, leaning on his sword, eyes closed. The assassin's amber eyes glared at the rurouni for few moments before he went to the futon, glancing at the sleeping girl.

To his surprise she was awake.

"Kenshin..." she whispered reaching one hand to him.

Kenshin knelt besides her, grabbing her hand "you should be sleeping."

"I couldn't," Kaoru smiled sleepily "are you all right? Are you hurt any where?"

Kenshin could clearly hear the concern in her voice "I'm fine, rest now," he tucked her hand under the cover and placed his hand on her cheek caressing it tenderly "sleep."

Kaoru planted a soft kiss on his palm before she closed her eyes.

Kenshin remained by her futon until he sensed her even breath. His eyes never left her face. Certain words kept ringing in his head.

_It's not fair for her._

Kenshin heaved a sigh before he rose to his feet.

"I know you're awake," the assassin said as he settled by the window.

The rurouni opened his eyes "do you understand what I had said to you now?"

The younger Kenshin did not reply, he kept staring at nothing in particular.

"Your mission..." the rurouni spoke again "it did not go well."

"The guarding was tight," his voice was cold "somehow they knew we would target him."

The rurouni thought deeply "Enishi."

The younger Kenshin nodded "the scoundrel must be telling them about our potential targets."

This was what the rurouni had been fearing: As well as playing with their emotions Enishi was playing with history.

* * *

Few days passed by and Kaoru was recovering day by day. She was still not allowed to move around freely, for her side wound was not fully healed. The girls helped her if she wanted to bathe or change. The younger Kenshin would have been happy to perform these tasks but of course the rurouni wouldn't let him.

_Bastard_

These were the assassin's thoughts as he slid open the door to Kaoru's room.

When he entered he found Kaoru standing by the window her back to the door. The sound of him entering made her turn "Kenshin" she smiled.

He did not smile back. With two strides he crossed the room to her "what are you doing?" he grabbed her upper arm.

Kaoru blinked at his angry gesture "hmmm..looking out the window"

"You shouldn't be standing at all," he slammed the window shut and started pulling her towards the futon.

"Mou! Kenshin," Kaoru protested "I'm sick of lying down, I want to move."

"You're not fully healed yet."

"Please, Kenshin," Kaoru almost pouted which made Kenshin stop. He stared at her lips for a while then suddenly he took her in his arms and kissed her on the mouth.

Kaoru's eyes were wide at the sudden kiss, she remained motionless for a moment before she relaxed and kissed him back.

Kenshin deepened the kiss, relishing the taste of her mouth. It had been a great test for his patient these past few days. Watching her lying on the futon -her raven hair fanned around her, the rise and fall of her breasts, her slightly parted lips when she's asleep- all the time without being able to touch her had been killing him. And just now when she was standing by the window in nothing but sleeping yukata, her soft, shiny hair free to her waist, her lovely curves visible to him, this made him want nothing more than to undress her, push her down the futon and show her how much he wanted her...hell he might as well put his thoughts into action. Without breaking the kiss he kept one hand around her waist and moved the other to the hem of her rope, pushing the fabric over her shoulder.

He didn't go far.

"NO!" Kaoru turned her head pushed away from him.

Kenshin raised his brow at her "no?"

"I mean..I.." Kaoru clutched her yukata closely, painful words filled her head...

_Who would want to see that disfigured body of yours twice_

Kaoru smiled nervously at Kenshin "it's nothing I just felt tired suddenly," she walked to the futon, lying down, and gladly covered herself.

Kenshin stared at her sharply, trying to understand her behaviour. _Could it be that she's scared again?_ He thought. It possible because Enishi might have made sexual advances on her, still...

..._there is something else._

Kenshin kept his golden eyes on her even as she looked up at him nervously.

"Kenshin..." he heard her voice and saw her clutch the futon cover tightly.

Just then it clicked. He remembered her clutching the rope tightly as if to cover every inch of her body from his view. This made everything clear to him.

Anger overwhelmed him.

He knelt abruptly by the futon, startling Kaoru.

"Tonight we will go out," he declared.

"Out? Where to?" Kaoru was so confused by his actions.

"No not tonight...tomorrow," he appeared to be thinking "yes tomorrow, I will take you out."

"But..."

"No but," he said and leaned over her pressing his mouth on hers.

* * *

The next day, after sunset, the younger Kenshin made sure that the rurouni was out somewhere. The assassin had asked Katsura for a favour for the first time in his life.

And he hated it.

Well not asking Katsura a favour but hated_ having_ to do it. But he had to, otherwise he wouldn't be in a carriage with Kaoru now. He pulled her closer to him and tightened his arms around her. Two shawls were draped over her to make sure she was warm enough.

"Come on, Kenshin," Kaoru said as she snuggled closer to him "tell me where we are going."

"You will see soon," he simply replied.

Kaoru sighed, he was so stubborn.

Kenshin stared out the small window, thinking of the rurouni.

He could not stop the small smirk which graced his lips. He would love to see his face when he discovered that Kaoru was gone for the night. It would have been impossible to get her out without Katsura's help, who had resigned to the assassin's request reluctantly. Kenshin hated the fact he had to be careful about his actions with Kaoru just because the rurouni was watching. If he wanted to kiss Kaoru, touch her, sleep with her, he should be able to do it without the rurouni's consent and he would do it anywhere, anytime, but tonight was different. Kaoru needed his entire attention...with no interruption. To hell with the other Kenshin. _He can meet my sword if he has any objection. _

The carriage was moving slowly because of the snow. They could have arrived sooner by foot; however Kenshin wouldn't allow Kaoru to walk in her condition. If only the rurouni was not there, Kenshin would have done what he intended to do in the inn, without the need to take her outside in this weather.

When they arrived to their destination it was totally dark apart from the light which came out of the stone building. Kaoru stared at the large building after Kenshin had helped her down the carriage. After giving few instructions to the driver, Kenshin put his hand around Kaoru's waist and steered her inside.

"Stay here Kaoru," Kenshin said as he let go of her and went to the reception.

Many people were going in and out that place; Kaoru noted and the furniture was all western in style, the doors were different, tables were high above the ground with wooden chairs to match. She wondered why Kenshin brought her here. It looked like an inn.

The receptionist smiled at Kenshin "Mr. Himura, your room is ready just as you have requested."

Kenshin nodded "good."

"Your wife is lovely, Mr. Himura" the man said as he handed Kenshin a key, looking past him at Kaoru.

"Wife..." Kenshin's hand stopped midway when he was about to take the key and he turned to look at Kaoru who was looking at some paintings on the wall.

_Wife_

Kaoru as his wife, he liked the sound of that...Kenshin smiled and turned to the man "yes, she is a great wife"

* * *

Kenshin led Kaoru to their room.

"Kenshin stop ignoring me," Kaoru said angrily "why are we here? In an inn."

Kenshin kept pulling her without a single word until they reached room number 17. He unlocked the room and pushed Kaoru gently inside.

Kaoru scanned the room. It was relatively large room, with western furniture: a table, two chairs, a desk and...a bed.

Kaoru stared at the bed for a while, remembering the first time she had used one.

It had been with Enishi.

The sound of the door being closed with a click made Kaoru whirl around. Her eyes looked questioningly at Kenshin, who was leaning against the door; his golden eyes were fixed on her, burning with emotions she understood too well.

"No..." Kaoru shook her repeatedly as she took one step backwards "no, no, no..."

"Kaoru..."

"NO! I don't want this."

"Kaoru listen to me.." he moved toward her.

"No please if you love me...no" Kaoru wrapped her arms around herself when Kenshin came too close.

"Kaoru listen," he put his hands on her shoulders "because I love you I want this," he looked into her eyes in which two obvious emotions where swirling.

Fear and shame. The latter one was more dominant.

Fear was caused by Enishi and shame was caused by...him.

And Kenshin loathed himself for that.

"Listen to me," he continued, one hand went to her hair touching it softly while the other hand was placed on her cheek "are you afraid?"

Kaoru nodded.

"But it's not what's making you refuse, right?"

Again she nodded.

Kenshin stepped closer, closing the gap between them, but her arms, which were still wrapped around her body, prevented him to close it fully. He felt her tremble.

"Kaoru my love, I had done many mistakes in my life and what I said to you that night-" Kaoru understood fully what he meant by that night "-was the greatest mistake, I wish I could take it back. It was a lie, I only wanted to hurt you because I felt hurt..." he trailed off when he sensed that she wanted to say something.

"It was no lie," Kaoru's voice was a mere whisper, she kept her eyes down "it was the truth."

"It's not the truth, I hate myself for saying that."

"You shouldn't," Kaoru managed to shake her head slightly "my body is disfigured, all scars and bruises. It's tainted and defiled," Kaoru closed her eyes, and before she could help it, tears escaped at the corners of her eyes.

Kenshin felt his heart tightened at the sight of her tears "Kaoru look at me."

She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't hate you for what you have said, I can't blame you for saying the truth."

Kenshin felt worse now, if she begrudged him for hurting her, his self-loathing would decrease slightly.

"Kaoru, Kaoru," his hands cupped her face, making her look at him "do you remember when we made love?"

Kaoru nodded.

"You remember I told you how beautiful you were. Do you think I was lying back then?"

Kaoru hesitated before she said "no."

"I did not only mean your face but all of you, your soul, your face, your body."

"But.." her voice was chocked "I have new scars and bruises...he...he had hit me all night. I don't want you to look at them; I don't want you to be disgusted with me."

Kenshin closed his eyes trying to calm himself. Hearing that the bastard had beaten her all night unleashed new rage inside of him and now wasn't the time to be angry. He breathed deeply and looked directly into her beautiful sapphire eyes. "You are pure. No matter what has been done to you, you are still you..." he kissed her forehead "so pure..." he kissed her eyelids "so beautiful..." he kissed both cheeks then stopped looking directly into her eyes. He felt her arms relax before they dropped down at her side. His head leaned towards her and he captured her lips with his.

Her lips responded slowly.

And Kenshin did not wait for any further signs. He scooped her in his arms without breaking the kiss and carried her to the bed. Just as he lowered her on the edge of the bed and sat beside her, Kenshin started working on her obi. Before he started to push her kimono apart, Kenshin broke the kiss.

"Undress me, Kaoru," Kenshin said, looking at her. A tiny smirk formed on his lips when he saw the colour rush to her face before she lowered her head. His hands grasped hers and placed them on the upper hem of his gi "don't be embarrassed of me."

Shyly, Kaoru started to push apart his gi. When he was topless, apart from his arm protectors, Kenshin leaned towards her again and kissed her deeply. His hands undressed her. First he took off her kimono then removed her breast bindings. Kaoru kept her head down when he broke the kiss to look at her, now fully naked apart from the bandage around her torso, of course Kenshin wasn't about to remove this since her scar hadn't healed yet. However he removed the one around her neck, exposing her cross shaped scar. Kenshin drew back, his eyes roaming over her naked body, he almost groaned. Kenshin wanted to be inside her now, he was becoming impatient but Kaoru needed time, this was the least he could do.

Kaoru, whose eyes were casted downwards all the time, risked a glance at him when she noticed he had been motionless for long time. She could see that his eyes were intense but small smirk played on his mouth.

"I told you are beautiful," he said as his hand reached out and untied her ribbon. Her thick raven tresses came down in soft waves covering her back. He leaned towards her again but this time he pushed her gently on the bed and was on top of her in less than a second. His breath was becoming deep from the effort of holding himself. He didn't wait for Kaoru to remove his hakama, in a single motion he discarded the garment on the floor.

His mouth planted soft, wet kisses on her neck, while his hand found her left breast; he squeezed gently and was rewarded with a moan from Kaoru. Kenshin slid his arms underneath her and held her as tightly as possible; he nuzzled her neck, kneaded her hips and ran his fingers down her thighs. "Spread your legs for me, Kaoru" he whispered in a cold dark voice, and Kaoru obeyed.

Kenshin took care of the rest.

* * *

Some time later, Kaoru was trying to recover her strength, and Kenshin was behind her, one arm wrapped around her flat stomach. He was panting as he kissed her cross shaped scar.

"Are you all right?" he mumbled.

"Y...yes," Kaoru breathed.

Kenshin turned her to face him and he pulled her tightly to him, kissing her "you were great."

Kaoru smiled sleepily against his mouth "I love you."

"I love you too, but I won't allow you to sleep yet," he ran his hand all over her body "the night is still young."

"hmmm..are we going to be kicked out of here first thing in the morning?"

"We can stay here as long as we want but I only booked the room for a night because I have a mission tomorrow."

"Don't go," Kaoru kissed his chest softly.

"You know I have too," he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply "but I will make it up to you tonight," he rolled her on her back and his hand gently stroked what was visible of her stomach. His mouth was on hers and Kaoru snuck her hands up to his shoulders. As sore and tired as her body was, it wanted more. And despite the memories her mind kept showing her, she responded. Kenshin eagerly nipped at her lips, his tongue easily gained access to the inside of her mouth. His kiss was strong and firm as his hand moved down her body. It slid between her legs and a finger glided right into her. Kaoru made a noise against his mouth. The finger began moving in a wonderful rhythm. Her mind was running far behind and her breaths were short pants as she came. Kaoru arched her back and called out his name.

Kenshin kissed her forehead and was on top of her, ready again.

Kaoru gasped when he thrust forcibly inside her before he leaned over her and pressed his lips on hers.

"I told you, Kaoru," he murmured "no sleep tonight."

* * *

Kenshin is all hormones!! hehe

Chapter 15 is done!! Next chapter will be the time for the rurouni to shine, of course he won't sit around while the younger Kenshin have Kaoru all for himself, and how does Kaoru put up with their competition? ...hehe...so until then take care and please review.

Thanks.


	16. Conflicts

**Toni:** Kaoru was held captivefor little more than a month. When I said Enishi didn't see her eyes for months, I meant she had not awaken till Kenshin found her, and when she had been captured by Enishi **for the 2nd time **(which was after months) that was when he saw her eyes again...I hope that made since XD

WARNING: the beginning of this chapter is disturbing at many levels, I have considered deleting it but it's kinda essential for the plot, no detailed description though. Either way you've been warned.

* * *

Chapter 16: Conflicts

_"No, please no"__ Kaoru tried to yank__ her wrist free from __Enishi's __painful__ grip__"not again" tears poured down her cheeks b__ut these along with her pleas__ were ignored by Enishi, who silently dragged her through the corridors to a room Kaoru knew too well. _

_Kaoru struggled as fiercely__ as she could, she pulled at his hand, tried to yank her wrist free, hit his back, but all __was __in vain. _

_Enishi stopped by a room and __kicked__ the door open._

_"Please not this" Kaoru begged "anything but this, NO!"__Kaoru screamed__ as he tried to pull her throu__gh the threshold and __went down on her knees by the door just so he couldn't pull her in "I beg you, you can do anything to me but not this, please not again" Kaoru sob__bed hard as she looked up at his hard face_

_Enishi's eyes were fixed on her angrily. He was angry __at her and__ himself for want__ing her body again. This was not his initial intention __but he found himself unable to resist. And what enraged him further was__ the fact__ that Kaoru was willing to endure hours of torture rather than a single touch from him. His free hand fisted tightly. _

_He would__ show her._

_He jerked her up easily and lifted her off the floor, __dropping__ her on his shoulder. _

_"NO!" Kaoru screamed "let me go!" her__ hands delivered several blows on__ his back before she felt herself being thrown on the bed. Kaoru cried out as her abused body hit the bed roughly and she watched with horror as Enishi pulled his sleeveless top over his head and discarded it on the floor. Her bod__y moved as fast as her weak state__ permitted, but it wasn't fast enough. Enishi caught her around the waist before she jumped out of bed. He pulled her forcefully towards him from behind and Kaoru cried out in pain again when her back hit his hard chest. __Her scars __had stopped__ bleeding the day before from the whipping she had received__. Kaoru breathed hard to control the nausea which assaulted her __due to __extreme __pain. _

_"No..." Kaoru whimpered when he began to remove her torn __yakata__ One hand pushed the clothes down her shoulder, __while the other went to her__ breast. She starte__d to resist again "don't TOUCH ME__!" she scream at him. _

_Enishi paused, one hand over her breast, and for a moment Kaoru's hard breathing was the only sound in the room. Then he __leaned towards her ear "I see that there is still some spirit left in you" __he smiled against her ear before he pushed her forcefully on her back. He was on top of her faster than it took Kaoru to blink._

_"NO!" Kaoru hit him__ but Enishi easily pinned her hands above her head._

_"I will make sure nothing is left after tonight__" he smirked as he looked down at her fear-filled eyes. _

_Another long night had just started for Kaoru. _

_Hours__ later, Kaoru laid staring blankly at the ceiling. Her tears had long since dried and her throat was dry from screaming. She felt a suffocating sensation as the smell of the room assailed her. Smell of sweat, blood and other thing__s__. She wanted nothing more than to get out of this __room;__ however, the rope which held her hands over her head was tied firmly to the bed rails. After finishing with her, Enishi had bound her__ hands__ to the bed to make sure she could not go anywhere __while he slept __comfortably__ beside__ her. _

_Kaoru tugg__ed at__ t__he rough rope for the hundredth time, __succeeding__ only__ in hurting her raw wrist__s__. Her tired eyes closed for a moment as she tried to calm herself. _

_It's alright, Kaoru told herself. Things would be fine, she only need__ed__ to be patient and endure the pain__ and__ humiliation for little longer_

_Kenshin would come soon. _

_S__he had to be strong till he found her. And when he found her he would__ hold her g__ently, telling her that everything wou__l__d__ be fine, that it's o__kay, no matter what had been done__ to her it didn't matter_

_Fresh tears slid along Kaoru's cheeks._

_He would not care. Things would be fine, just like before. She kept telling herself. _

_And then she tensed, opening her eyes._

_Enishi had stirred._

_Kaoru's breath quickened as __he rolled __next to__ her and placed one hand across her stomach. _

_"I trust you had __slept well__" he smiled sleepily as he kissed her. _

_Kaoru turned her head sideways to escape his mouth. Enishi appeared to be in a good mood, he kissed her ear and down to her neck, all the time his hand fondled her naked body._

_"Stop..." Kaoru closed her eyes, feeling helpless. She told hers__elf not to beg more than she already had__. He had humiliated her enough for one night. _

_"You're beautiful" he kissed her neck before raising his head to her face and licking her tears "and you taste great" _

_Kaoru kept her eyes closed and tried to remain calm. She thought of her dojo, of her friends, of Kenshin..._

_"You're thinking of him" _

_Kaoru's lid flew open._

_"I guessed right" Enishi smirked "__you better forget ab__out Battousai, he will not come"_

_"Kenshin will come, he will find me soon" she __said, for a moment her tired eyes shone with confidence._

_"F__ind you? I can assure you__ it__ is__ close to impossible. __No one will guess you are in an island__"__ he said __"I have showed you where we__ are__ and how the island is in the middle of nowhere. __However," he smiled__ evilly "__allow me to indulge you and __assume he will__ be able to__ find__ you" Enishi touched her cheek gently "what will he find? I can tell you he won't be finding the same innocent and pure girl he used to know"_

_"No" Kaoru shock her head "I didn'__t want any of this, Kenshin would__ not care"_

_"No, he __**would**__ care. I am a man Kaoru and I understand how he would feel. He wouldn't want a used and tainted girl"_

_"No...__no__" Kaoru shock her head, but he could tell that his words __were __starting to reach __her, as her eyes filled with panic._

_"You are not the same anymore"_

_"No__..I am still Kaoru...the same__"__ tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to deny his words._

_"__Battousai __wou__l__d__ be disgusted with you. He might show you pity and kindness but inwardly he would be sick of you"_

_"No..." __Kaoru__ whispered weakly and broke into tears. S__obs started to shake her tired form. _

_Enishi watched her as she sobbed. He had touched her weakest point an__d he could tell she believed his words__. His eyes scanned her quickly. Just by looking he knew that she had not slept at all, she looked more tired than before and he had to feed her soon. She almost fainted twice during their intercourse, but whether it was from pain or lack of food he didn't know. Still..._

_He was not finished with her yet._

_"Kaoru" he kissed her forehead "shush Kaoru"__he wiped her tears with his __fore__finger "I can see that you're very tired. And you must be hungry and in pain" Kaoru closed her eyes trying to stop her tears "I will make a deal with you Kaoru, a simple one __and if you obey I will treat your painful wounds, feed you and let you sleep for six hours alone in bed"_

_Kaoru opened her eyes when she heard the last sentence. Sleep was something rare, Enishi always made sure sh__e slept no more than three hours on the cold, stoned floor and that was a treat, usually he chained her to the wall__ so when the time came for her torture she would already be tired and broken. Her body needed rest so badly and it was telling her to say: I would do anythin__g, just let me sleep. But in those early days the old, stubborn__ Kaoru was still there._

_"I rather die than obey you" she looked directly into his eyes, expecting him to be angry._

_Instead a malicious smile broke on Enishi's handsome face which scared Kaoru more than if he had been angry "Kaoru, Kaoru you know I am trying to be kind with you. I'__m giving you __an __option__ here__, which is the first and __last time I will ever offer__. So don't be foolish and think abo__ut it. Also__," his hand traced circles on her__ flat__ stomach "bear in mind that I can take what I want whether you cooperate or not,__ I just want to make things easier__ for you. Otherwise," his hand moved further down, making Kaoru gasp "it will be painful for you" he finished with a smile._

_Kaoru's __breath__ quickened "stop this__" she breathed as she writhed uselessly "why are you doing this? If this is revenge, I don't think Tomoe..." she was cut off when Enishi's same hand flew to her neck, gripping her painfully._

_"Don't make me hurt you more than I al__ready had__"__ his face was inches from__ hers and__ his fingers curled tightly around her neck, cutting the air supply. He kept his hold for few moments before it relaxed, allowing the air back to her lungs "now will you cooperate or not?" _

_Kaoru inhaled deeply, trying to calm her breathing, once her breathing became normal she stared at the ceiling, weighing her options. In reality she had none. It was either he rape her sava__gely like he did few hours ago__ or rape her with less pain at her consent. It would be hard but at least he will feed her__ later and__ allow her to sleep, two things she needed badly. _

_"So?" Enishi's patience__ was wearing out. It was a great test to his control to be with her on the same bed, both naked. __He__ was tempted not to wait for her answer and take her forcefully again. But her answer did come finally._

_Kaoru closed her eyes, nodding._

_"Great" Enishi smiled "now let's test you. I will kiss you and __expect you to__ kiss me back" when Kaoru nodded again, he leaned towards her and pressed his mouth on hers. _

_Kaoru instinctively turned her head away._

_Enishi retreated, raising an eye brow._

_"I can't__..." Kaoru shock her head, tears glistened at the corner of her eyes "I...just __can't"_

_"Too bad, then we will do it in the hard way" Enishi was about to move on top of her. _

_"No...__no__" __Kaoru cried "I will try"_

_Enishi kissed her again and this time Kaoru obeyed by kissing him back and he slid his __tongue inside her mouth savouring her taste. _

_"Good" Enishi pulled back and brushed Kaoru's tears "good start__, now__..."_

_It was at that night Kaoru broke completely. Before she had told herself she had no option, she could not do anything against Enishi's strength. But now, she could have refused and endured pain instead of __complying with his many orders__. After it was all done she cried like she never had, her heart felt heavy and self-loathing filled her senses. Kaoru hated herself, and if she was unable to love herself then nobody else would love her or accept her._

_Enishi held her while she cried, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. It was as though he was apologizing for what he had made her do, though it had not prevented him from repeating his actions later on__. But he kept his promise to fe__e__d her__, despite ending up forcing her to eat,__ and allow__ed__ her to sleep alone for six hours –although to the tired girl it had been more like six minutes._

_When she opened her eyes__ again__, she was back __in__ the torture room._

_There was no end to the pain_

_And Kenshin didn't come.

* * *

_

"Kaoru, Kaoru" she heard Kenshin's voice.

Kaoru opened her eyes, blinking slowly, and stared at the younger Kenshin's worried amber eyes.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru said in a dazed voice, looking at him for few moments. Then her hand went to her cheeks, touching them lightly. They were wet with fresh tears. And, on the left side of her neck she felt some pressure.

Kenshin stared worriedly at Kaoru. He had awakened before her, put on his hakama and went to look out the window. Knowing how tired Kaoru was, he did not desire to disturb her sound sleep. But, a while later, he had sensed that her sleep wasn't sound at all. When he had checked on her, his blood had gone cold. Her scar had been bleeding, and it still was, so he had grabbed his discarded gi and pressed it to her neck in order to stop the bleeding.

"What's wrong with me" Kaoru tried to smile, as she laid on her back and started to wipe her tears with back of her hand "I was crying while I slept?"

"Kaoru..."

"I'm fine Kenshin, don't worry, it's nothing"

She was not fine, Kenshin could tell. And the smile she was giving him made him uneasy. It was so fake. She was trying to hide something.

"Kaoru talk to me, don't hide anything"

Kaoru shook her head, or tried to "it's nothing, I'm fine" despite saying that, more tears welled at the corner of her eyes "I'm fine..." Kaoru raised both hands to her face and covered her eyes "I will be fine..." her voice became strangled "I'm sorry...give me a minute...I will be fine"

Kenshin watched with concern as Kaoru tried to suppress her sobs. Many thoughts raced through his mind. _Had I hurt her? Had I pushed her so fast? _Kenshin cursed inwardly. He had been so preoccupied with his lust that he had not thought of what she had been through, and what made the matter worse, he had lost control yesterday and used her roughly. This must have triggered awful memories. Kenshin gritted his teeth.

"Kaoru" with his free hand he griped one of her wrists "I didn't mean to hurt you"

"No, no. It's not you" Kaoru looked up at him as she wiped her tears "it's nothing important" she pulled the blanket to her chest as she sat up, making Kenshin withdraw his hand away from her neck "let's go back, please" she said not looking at him.

Kenshin stared at her, surprised at her sudden calmness. She had stopped sobbing as quickly as she had started. He was about to question her more when she said: "please"

His scrutinising amber eyes did not leave her face for few moments before he nodded. He did not want to upset her more.

However, he would not let the matter pass by. She would talk.

* * *

Kenshin walked with Kaoru to the inn. She pleaded with him to walk instead to taking the carriage. Despite his initial refusal, he yielded eventually. His submissive behaviour this afternoon was a way for apologizing for his actions last night.

But his patience was running thin.

She was silent all the way back to the inn and most of the time she seemed somewhere else. Kenshin hoped she was not living the future again.

Kenshin decided that once they were in the inn he would make her talk. He would not let her bear the pain alone, even if he had to force her speak.

Upon reaching the inn, Kenshin expected the rurouni to welcome them but to his surprise, and utmost relief, they made it to Kaoru's room with no disturbance.

However, his relief was short lived.

Just as he was about to ask Kaoru to explain what was wrong with her, the door was slid open and the rurouni stormed in.

"Kaoru-dono" the rurouni walked towards her "I was so ..." the rurouni halted immediately, not because he saw her uncovered raw scar or the blood on the assassin's gi. No those he noticed later. But he stopped because as soon as he came close to Kaoru, she jumped away from him as if his intentions were to hurt her.

"Kaoru..." the rurouni said in disbelief. Her reaction surprised the younger Kenshin as well.

Kaoru stared with wide eyes at the rurouni before she recovered "I'm sorry...I feel little bit tired" Kaoru realized her mistake and forced a smile at the rurouni.

The rurouni's surprised violet eyes studied her. Her raven hair was loose and she looked very tired and he could tell she had been crying. He immediately whirled towards the younger Kenshin, anger replaced his shock "where have you taken her?" he hissed.

"It's none of you concern"

"Don't tell me it's none of my concern" the rurouni took two steps towards him "she's still recovering and you took her out in this weather, and above all you brought her back in a worse shape"

"I don't have to explain anything to you" the assassin said calmly before he turned to Kaoru "Kaoru, come to my room so we can speak in private" he glanced briefly with distaste at the rurouni before looking back at Kaoru "you will sleep in my room, just like before"

Kaoru was about to speak but the rurouni spoke before "she is not going anywhere near you again"

"Oh yes?" the assassin sounded amused "and who is going to stop me from going near her?"

"Stop it" Kaoru said, but was ignored.

"I will"

"How?"

"Stop it"

"I will use force if I have to" the rurouni's hand went to the hilt of his sword.

"Your toy does not scare me" the assassin mimicked his move.

"STOP IT!" Kaoru screamed at them.

Now, both Kenshins were looking at her. She was glaring at them, her face flushed from anger.

"You two are acting like children" Kaoru said angrily "and talking about ME as if I'm not here" she looked at the younger Kenshin "I'm not going anywhere; I will sleep HERE, in this room, MY room. And you," she looked at the rurouni, and for a moment, a brief moment, her resolve faltered. But her anger took over "I can make my own decisions alone. So both of you stop telling me what to do and get out of here"

"Kaoru..." both said at the same time.

"Out!" Kaoru span around, making them stare at her back "leave me alone, get out"

Several moments passed and when Kaoru still refused to face them both Kenshins gave up and left the room.

They walked in silence first but just as they rounded the corner the rurouni gripped the younger Kenshin's bloody gi and slammed him against the wall.

"Where have you taken Kaoru? And what have you done to her?" the rurouni said through gritted teeth.

The younger Kenshin narrowed his amber eyes at him "get your hands off me"

"Not until you tell me what is wrong with Kaoru"

"Well I don't know what is wrong with her. But," the younger Kenshin continued calmly "to answer your first two questions I have taken her to another inn and slept with her"

The rurouni's eyes were wide with disbelief "you...you forced her to..."

Anger shone in the assassin's eyes "I wouldn't do that. Me and Kaoru made love, on her consent"

"Kaoru wouldn't...she was..." the rurouni's hands were trembling.

"Apparently she only needed the right kind of man to help her forget her past experience" the assassin said smugly and...

...received a punch on the face.

The rurouni breathed hard, glaring hatefully at the younger Kenshin. His body shook with anger as he saw the other man wipe the blood off the corner of his mouth.

"Hitting me will not undo what had happened" the younger Kenshin said triumphantly before he walked away, leaving the other Kenshin with his rage.

* * *

After they had left her, Kaoru went to take a bath and re-bandage her neck. In an attempt to take her mind off what had happened the last few hours, she decided to help in the kitchen. She pulled her wet hair into the usual ponytail and went to the kitchen.

"Kaoru-chan" Mizuki was the first one to greet her "you should not be here"

"I have nothing to do Mizuki-san so I decided to help" Kaoru smiled at her.

"It is a rare thing that Battousai leaves your side for a minute" she teased "how did you escape him?"

"I told him to leave me alone"

"What a brave girl" another woman said "I can't form a coherent sentence in his presence let alone tell him what to do"

"Kaoru-chan got a talent when it comes to Battousai" Mizuki said "though I personally prefer the other one. He is Battousai's cousin right?"

"Emm...yah he is" Kaoru mumbled.

"They look so much like each other" she replied "but the new one is such a gentleman and older too. Do you think I stand a chance with him?" Mizuki said wistfully.

"Mizuki!" Kaoru said in disbelief "you have Yoshida" she lower her voice.

Mizuki laughed "I know, I know. I didn't think I have a chance, after all he also only has eyes for you"

Kaoru tensed "you're imagining things"

"I am certainly not, I know a man in love when I see one" she put her hand around Kaoru's shoulders "but he is up to a fierce competition, Battousai won't let you go easily"

Kaoru face darkened at that, she didn't like how both Kenshins were acting toward each other. That's why she had become angry with them. Kaoru sighed as she went to her chores. For now she wanted to work herself out and forget about everything.

But it was easier said than done.

* * *

After the evening meal, Kaoru made her way to her room. She had been working since the afternoon and she felt exhausted, there was nothing she wanted to do more than put on her yakata and curl in the futon.

But it seemed she had to wait. When she entered the room, the rurouni was there.

"Kaoru-dono" Kenshin said.

Kaoru remained by the door for a moment, then she smiled nervously "Kenshin" she stepped in the room, closing the door behind her.

Kenshin was about to say something then he paused, looking at her "are feeling ill Kaoru-dono? You look tired"

"I've been helping the girls, but don't worry I feel good actually. It's good to be up and moving"

"I'm glad to hear that Kaoru-dono" Kenshin said with a smile "but don't overdo yourself"

Kaoru nodded not looking at him "I'm sorry Kenshin, I had not meant to lash out this afternoon"

Kenshin shook his head "don't worry about that" he said, though Kaoru could feel something under his calm voice. She waited for him to speak.

"We have to go back" Kenshin said simply, his expression was serious and dark.

Kaoru blinked, well she expected Kenshin to come and talk about that sooner or later, however it was his bluntness that made her speechless.

"We have stayed longer than necessary Kaoru" he took two steps towards her.

"I...I know...but..."

"But what Kaoru?" though he said these words calmly she could see different emotions in his eyes "Enishi is planning to do something, and I don't won't you to be here so he can have the opportunity to hurt you again" he was close to her now "Kaoru, I will protect you with everything I got, but I don't want to see you suffer anymore" he brushed his fingers on her cheek "don't hesitate"

"Kenshin, I..." Kaoru hesitated "I just can't, not now...not.."

"Is it because of him, Kaoru?" Kaoru could see the anger clearly in his eyes, in spite of his attempt to control it. Then he paused and closed his eyes, whether to control his emotions or think about what he was going to say next, Kaoru didn't know. However, when he spoke again, Kaoru knew the answer.

"Yesterday" he paused again "yesterday, you slept with him," it wasn't a question and he looked directly into her now wide blue eyes.

Kaoru was shocked. _How did he know?_ _Did he guess? Or did the other Kenshin tell him?_ Kaoru was speechless.

"So it's true" Kenshin said when Kaoru did not say a word.

"Kensh-" Kaoru was unable to finish what she'd intended to say, for she felt Kenshin's mouth on hers and his hands gripped her upper arms, pulling her to his hard body.

His kiss was forced and desperate. He held her tightly to his body, and even when she started to resist, he tightened his hold.

Kaoru turned her head sideways "stop!!" she pushed him away and stepped back, breathing deeply. Kaoru was about to give him a piece of her mind but all her anger evaporated when she saw his eyes.

They were sad and guilt was obvious in them.

"Do you hate me, Kaoru?" he asked in a sad voice "do you blame for what Enishi had done to you?"

Kaoru shook her head immediately, forgeting about her anger "no, no. Don't think like that. I have never hated or blamed you for what happened" this was true, although sometimes, when she had been driven to the point of madness by extreme agony and torture, she would think: if only she had not met Kenshin, she would not have endured all this pain. She was human after all, and in those dark hours she needed someone to blame for her suffering. However, after she regained her senses, she would regret those thoughts.

"So why do you push me away Kaoru? Why does it seem so hard for you to accept me?"

Kaoru bowed her head "it's not you Kenshin, it's..." she thought of the reasons behind her attitude toward the rurouni. First he had seen her in a condition she wished no one would see her in, let alone the man she loved. In the days –no months- after her rescue she had been damaged severely. Enishi had broken her both physically and emotionally and left her half, if not totally, mad with all the memories and scars. And Kenshin had seen it all; he had been there beside her all the time.

And above all...

_He wou__l__d__ be disgusted with you. He __might__ pity you and show y__ou kindness but inwardly you wou__l__d__ make him sick._

_He won't find the same __girl;__you're__ not the same anymore._

Instinctively, Kaoru's hands went to her ears, covering them.

Kenshin stared at her with horror evident on his face "Kaoru..." he whispered "Kaoru I am sorry" he made it to touch her but stopped himself "I didn't mean to make you upset" pain filled his tone "I'm sorry" he apologized again, inclining his head down, and walked past Kaoru.

When Kaoru felt him pass her, fear filled her features and she whirled around immediately "NO!" she griped his right hand with both hers, tears made her blue eyes glister "don't leave me please, don't be disgusted with me" Kaoru couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheeks "I'm still Kaoru"

Although her words made little sense to Kenshin, he could feel her fear and sadness so he gathered her in his arms "what are you saying?" Kenshin said gently to the trembling girl "why would I ever..." Kenshin went rigid. Those were not her words, she'd been told this by someone.

Enishi

Fury overwhelmed him "Kaoru" he placed his fingers under her chin to make her look at him "do you think if I was disgusted with you, I would do this?" he planted a soft kiss on her lips, while his other hand started to unwrap her neck bandage "or this" he softly kiss her cross-shaped scar. Though he did not show it, Kenshin felt his chest hurt and his heart tighten at the sight of her scar. He thought of the pain and memories this scar represented. Just like him, she must be tormented by the sight of the scar, that must be the reason why –the moment she had first recovered- it had been covered all the time.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered in a fearful voice, fearing the reason behind his sudden halt.

Kenshin kissed her scar again and pulled away, staring directly at her deep sapphire eyes. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his body "I'm sorry Kaoru. I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he kept apologizing "if only you've never met me, if only I wasn't in your life"

"Don't, please" Kaoru felt like crying again, she circled her arms around his waist as if her life depends on it "don't say that" she couldn't imagine her life without him. She loved him. She loved them both. But she didn't know what she was supposed to do. She couldn't be with both men at the same time.

Kenshin pulled away slightly "Kaoru..." he looked at her "let's go back, for your own safety let's go back to our time"

"Yes..."

"Call Katsura!" they heard a voice outside the room as a man passed by the door "it's Battousai, he is..." his voice disappeared when he moved away from the room. But Kaoru had heard enough to understand that there was something wrong with the other Kenshin. Her body moved on its own accord, pushing away from the rurouni and stepping out of the room.

She ran to where few soldiers of Ishin sheshi were gathering. And when she saw what all the commotion was about, the blood froze in her veins and she went pale.

The younger Kenshin was crouching near the door, gripping his left shoulder from where blood was pouring.

"Just get Katsura-san!" he snapped angrily at one of the nearer soldiers, and then his tired eyes met hers "Kao..."

"Kenshin!" Kaoru ran to his side, crouching beside him.

Kenshin stared at her, noticing the absence of her neck bandage. His eyes moved to the spot she had been standing on, now occupied by the rurouni who was holding the white bandage in his hand. The younger Kenshin narrowed his eyes at him before he turned to Kaoru.

"Kenshin you need to be treated now" her voice betrayed her fear and concern, and now he noticed trails of tears on her cheeks.

Something had happened.

"I'm fine" he said coldly.

"Kenshin you are pale, you have lost blood"

"What is this all abou...Himura!" the crowd parted as Katsura came.

"I have failed to assassin Hanjiro" Kenshin said "the guarding was tight, they were expecting me"

The rurouni tensed. He remembered that he had assassin Hanjiro –a Shinsen gumi ally- smoothly with no difficulties whatsoever.

"This has happened twice now" Katsura said in a troubled voice.

"There must be another traitor" one soldier said.

The rurouni was about to speak when one soldier shouted: "it's her!" he pointed at the only woman present, Kaoru "she must have talked when she had been captured"

Kaoru stared at him with shock written all over her face, but she recovered quickly when she felt the assassin beside her about to move, undoubtly to strike the man "no Kenshin" she wanted to take care of that herself, she looked up at her accuser "I have not betrayed you even under torture. Even when all Shinsen gumi's soldiers had wanted to skin me alive for a single indication of Ishin shishi's plans I had kept silence"

"How do we know?" the man said, trying to ignore the assassin's burning glare "for all we know you had spoken the moment you were captured or you may have broke under torture, you are a woman after all"

"Yes you are right, the torture had broken me. However, I can assure you I had not spoken a single word about Ishin shishi"

"How can you be so sure? Most people don't even remember what they say during pain"

"Because I have not been interrogated at all" Kaoru replied calmly.

The man blinked, surprised. All the gathering's eyes were fixed on Kaoru "but you said..." the man murmured "you said you had been tortured"

"Yes I had said that. But I had not said I've been put under pain for information. I have been tortured just to keep a facade of interrogation" Kaoru forced a smile, trying to hide the different emotions that took over her at the memories of those nights "so rest assured that nothing was extracted from me"

The man was speechless, he had been positive she was the one responsible for information-leakage. And now he made a dangerous enemy.

Battousai.

She was his woman after all, and he would not let this accusation pass. The man swallowed.

"Are you assured now?" even the rurouni was angry. He had seen Kaoru's fear due to remembering her recent capture, though she had tried to hide it under her smile "he needs to be treated now" he moved to where Kaoru and the younger Kenshin were crouching.

"Go fetch the doctor" Katsura said to the soldier nearest to him "Himura" he meant the rurouni "I would like to talk to you"

The rurouni nodded, watching Kaoru help the younger Kenshin to stand. The rurouni was close to her "you did great" he whispered in her ear before he followed Katsura.

Kaoru stood staring at him in surprise. Then she smiled a genuine smile.

_Thank you Kenshin.

* * *

_

Kaoru sat beside Kenshin as the doctor bandaged his shoulder. To Kaoru's relief the wound was shallow and not dangerous.

The rurouni came as the doctor finished his work and made his exit after getting his thanks from Kaoru, who stood up to open the door for him.

The younger Kenshin, who was leaning topless against the wall glared the newcomer "what do you want?"

"Kenshin!" Kaoru whirled towards the assassin.

"It's alright, Kaoru" the rurouni said.

"What happened to the 'dono'?" the younger Kenshin asked not very friendlily "and where is your neck bandage, Kaoru?"

Kaoru touched her neck, feeling the absence of the bandage for the first time "in my room...I think" Kaoru answered truthfully.

"I have thrown it away" the rurouni said "I will help you with a new one in a minute. Now," he stared down at the younger Kenshin "I came to tell you that me and Kaoru are going back"

Immediately, the assassin jumped to his feet and was at Kaoru's side so fast that she barely registered his movement.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru stared with surprise at him, he was so close.

"You're not going anywhere" the assassin hissed.

"Don't tell her what to do, you don't have the right" the rurouni took a step towards them.

The younger Kenshin gripped Kaoru's left upper arm "she is mine! **My** woman. If anyone is leaving, it is you, only you"

"Kenshin stop acting like this" Kaoru tried to pry her arm free, but Kenshin kept a firm –but not painful- hold on her "I belong to no one" she said hurriedly as she saw the rurouni's hand on his sword "listen, both of you listen. It is true I said yes to you" she looked at the rurouni "but I didn't have the chance to continue. Yes I will go back but not now" she felt the younger Kenshin's grip tighten, she continued quickly "we can't leave now and allow Enishi to manipulate the past. Can we, Kenshin?" she asked the rurouni.

"But Kaoru-dono..."

"Think about it, his actions may be affecting the future in the long terms. So not now, please not now"

The rurouni closed his eyes and sighed. She was right. They couldn't leave Enishi playing with history, but he was hoping to send Kaoru back alone if possible and he would stay to deal with Enishi. He looked at Kaoru now "fine, Kaoru-dono"

Kaoru sighed in relief.

"But..." the rurouni said.

"No buts" the younger Kenshin snapped "you've heard her"

"But" the rurouni ignored the assassin "tomorrow I'm going to that dojo, to see if I can find out how we came to be here. Come with me Kaoru-dono"

Kaoru nodded "yes I want to know that as well"

"I will be going too" the younger Kenshin stated coldly. He was not leaving Kaoru alone with the rurouni; he might force her to go back.

"That will make it quicker to search the place" Kaoru said "now Kenshin you have to rest if you want to come with us"

The younger Kenshin released her arm and wrapped his around her waist "you're sleeping here tonight"

"She is not" the rurouni protested.

Kaoru pried Kenshin's arm away "I've said I will be sleeping in my room, and that's my final decision" She walked to the door "now rest"

The younger Kenshin followed her "then I will walk you to your room"

"Kenshin I will not be going anywhere..."

The rurouni watched them as they went out the room, in particular his sharp eyes were fixed on the assassin.

_She is mine, __**my**__ woman_

He had not known that he had this possessive side in him. Even Tomoe had not awakened this dark side. Kaoru was affecting the younger man in many ways and he didn't like it.

He anticipated a great hardship when the time came for them to return.

But he wouldn't give up.

* * *

Next afternoon. The weather was cold and dry. White layer of snow covered the ground.

The walk to the dojo was silent. Each was preoccupied with their own thoughts.

As they neared the dojo, they passed by the place where Kaoru had first met the younger Kenshin. Kaoru glanced sideway at the assassin, who was looking straight ahead. She wondered if he remembered.

"Kaoru-dono, do you remember passing here?" the rurouni asked.

Kaoru nodded "yes, I think we are close" Kaoru spotted the alley in which she had hidden while the battle between Kenshin and Akira took place "this way" she led the way through the narrow path and when they emerged the dojo was across the street.

"This is the one" the rurouni said, walking to the dojo.

No sign or name appeared near the door, which was partially opened.

"It's a deserted dojo, right Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.

"Yes" the rurouni answered "I've been told no one had lived here for years" he pushed the door open.

Kaoru looked around as they walked across the yard to the dojo. When the three of them entered the training hall, Kaoru half expected to be thrown back to the future suddenly and she could tell the younger Kenshin thought so too, because his hand gripped her wrist tightly.

But nothing happened.

The dojo was still in the same condition as when they had first appeared in it, silent, cold and empty, with lots of dust covering the floor. But there was strange feeling to it. As if something had happened here.

Something awful.

Kaoru shivered at the thought.

The rurouni sighed "just as I expected"

"What is it Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.

"It seems the dojo does not make a constant connection to our time. Something must have happened the night you had disappeared, something that triggered the time travel" he paused "what I am trying to say is that if anyone else, say me for instant, had been the one in the dojo that night instead of you, nothing would have happened"

"Then why had you and ...Enishi come later on?" Kaoru asked.

"I'm not sure, but the red moon was the only thing in common between the nights you and I had arrived here"

Kaoru thought about it. She tried to remember the last night in her dojo so she could pinpoint anything that could have triggered the time travel. She remembered not being able to sleep, so she had sat on the porch before going to her dojo to clear her mind. There was nothing unusual about that night, still Kaoru had a feeling she was missing something.

"I will go and ask the surrounding houses for some information about this dojo and its last occupants" the rurouni said "Kaoru-dono you look though the rooms here, see if you can get anything" he completely ignored the younger Kenshin, knowing he wouldn't leave Kaoru's side.

When Kaoru nodded the rurouni left the dojo.

* * *

Kaoru and the younger Kenshin sat on the porch, waiting for the rurouni. Two hours had passed since they began searching and the sun was to set in an hour.

"I can't believe we couldn't find anything" Kaoru sighed "it is as if everything had evaporated"

Kenshin listened to her. He was pleased that their search yielded nothing and hoped the rurouni would face the same outcome. For now, there was no way back to their time which means Kaoru was staying whether the rurouni wanted or not. One side of his mouth curved upwards in a small smirk. His plan can be put into action soon.

"Kenshin are you listening to me?" Kaoru narrowed her eyes at him.

Kenshin's hand moved around her waist and pulled her to him "yes my love, I'm listening" he kissed her mouth but Kaoru turned away.

"Kenshin, this is not the time"

Kenshin tightened his hold "this is the right time" he kissed her cheek "I have something..."

The sound of the wooden door being opened interrupted him and made Kaoru jump to her feet.

"Kenshin" Kaoru stepped down the porch as the rurouni made his way to them "did you find out anything?"

The rurouni shook his head "nothing that would help us. People living around here think this place is cursed because the last occupants of this dojo have disappeared suddenly. However, their belongings were untouched"

"This means..."

"Yes this means they might have travelled through time"

"But no strangers appeared in my dojo as far as I know" Kaoru said thoughtfully.

"This leads me to think your dojo is not the only link"

"Or not a link at all" both Kaoru and the rurouni turned to the younger Kenshin, who for the first time shared his opinion with them "you have not thought that neither this dojo nor Kaoru's is relevant to the time travel concept. Maybe Kaoru was meant to come here in the first place, that whether she had been in her room or in the dojo that night she would have come to this time for one reason or another"

"You're trying to say it is destiny?" the rurouni asked.

The younger Kenshin shrugged "it's one way to put it"

_Had I been sent here to safe Akira? _This was Kaoru's first thought, but if this was true then why was she still here? She had accomplished that, right? There must be another explanation.

"I need to take a look at something in the dojo" the rurouni said.

He started to walk, followed by the younger Kenshin. Kaoru stood for a moment, lost in her thoughts, but she made it to follow them. But then, she tensed, a clicking sound echoed behind her and that was all the warning she received before a thunderous sound exploded. Kaoru felt a sharp rush of air beside her left cheek, missing her by an inch. And the smell of ignition powder assailed her nose.

Slowly and rigidly Kaoru turned towards the wooden door, her wide eyes settling on the man standing there.

The man of her nightmares.

"Glad to see you're well, Kaoru" Enishi smirked viciously, pointing his gun directly at her.

* * *

I just love Enishi, even though he's sick and evil in my fic, I can't help but to love him. Next chapter will be action-packed chap, but which of the Kenshins will be fighting Enishi, I will leave it to your guess.

So until then, read and review please

Ja ne.


	17. Blooded

THANK you all for the wonderful reviews. I was so happy reading them :-D.

Now about this chap, I'm really not confident with it. I suck at writing fighting-scenes! I know Enishi is really strong but I'm not sure about the level of difference between him and the younger Kenshin. So I had to make it up. I hope I have done an acceptable job and...

...please be gentle!! XD

* * *

Chapter 17:

_Kaoru felt a sharp rush of air beside her left cheek, missing her by an inch. And the smell of ignition powder assailed her nose. _

_Slowly and rigidly Kaoru turned towards the wooden door, her wide eyes settling on the man standing there._

_The man of her nightmares._

"_Glad to see you are well, Kaoru" Enishi smirked viciously, pointing his gun directly at her._

The rurouni stood motionless, staring wide-eyed at the wooden post to his left, now pierced with a bullet, which had missed him by an inch. He was standing on the porch, next to the younger Kenshin (on his right). Both were heading to the dojo when the gun exploded, while Kaoru was still on the yard.

Now the rurouni turned around slowly.

Kaoru was between them and Enishi.

"No one moves," Enishi warned, his gun was pointed at Kaoru "next time I won't miss."

"Enishi..." the rurouni whispered in shock. The last thing he had expected was to encounter Enishi here. Had he been following him? Or was it a coincidence?

Enishi smirked "surprised to see me?" he looked briefly at the rurouni before looking back at Kaoru, who kept looking at him with wide eyes "come here, Kaoru" he said with a smile.

"No!" the rurouni took a step forward, intending to come down the porch.

"Don't. Move" Enishi warned again, words coming between his teeth slowly "or I will shoot her" the sound of the gun clicking made the rurouni halt "Kaoru," Enishi fixed his black eyes on her "come here."

Kaoru remained motionless on her spot, staring at him.

Enishi narrowed his eyes at her before smiling "I see that you had recovered some of your old spirit" he remarked "let's see now, how about drawing some blood" he moved his hand and pointed the gun at the rurouni "it will be a good shot at his head from here."

"NO!" Kaoru jumped to the right, her arms spread. she was at the gunpoint again, blocking Enishi's aim "don't hurt him" she pleaded.

Enishi looked at her with amusement in his eyes. "I won't if you obey," he said "now come."

Kaoru forced her legs to moved, and she started towards him.

Enishi kept his eyes on both Kenshins, daring them to move. When Kaoru was few paces away, he spread his free hand and smirked at her in a mock welcome. Kaoru stopped a couple of steps away, but Enishi extended his free hand and pulled her to him, pressing her to his body, his hand looped around her lower back. All this happened while he kept the gun aimed at the rurouni.

"Enishi" the rurouni spoke again, desperation evident in his voice "don't hurt her, you have done enough"

"Hurt her?" Enishi asked, looking at the rurouni as he tightened his arm around Kaoru "I won't hurt her, I have other plans for her" he felt Kaoru's rigid form starting to tremble. Her back was to the dojo so neither the rurouni nor the younger Kenshin could see her face. Enishi laughed loudly "it's astonishing" he continued "it's astonishing what a combination of torture, starvation and sleep deprivation can do to a strong person. You were strong Kaoru, weren't you?" he briefly stared down at her before looking back at the rurouni "it took me ten days to shatter her completely, and even then her old self would resurface occasionally. Still..." Enishi's eyes were mocking as he stared at the rurouni "has she told you what I had put her through?"

"Stop..." Kaoru whispered.

Enishi heard her clearly but ignored her "I guess she hasn't, maybe we should give him a brief idea ne, Kaoru?" Enishi leaned slightly down while keeping his eyes and gun on the rurouni "now Kaoru" he whispered "you don't want Battousai to get hurt, do you? So you better do as I say. Now kiss me."

Kaoru tensed; her eyes wide then her breathing quickened "no...no..."

"No?" Enishi said before he suddenly pulled the trigger and fired at a spot by the rurouni's feet.

The sound of the gun made Kaoru jump "NO!" she tried to turn to get a glimpse of Kenshin but Enishi kept a tight hold on her.

The rurouni stared down at the hole on the porch, wondering what Kaoru had said to anger him. The last exchange was whispered between them so he had no idea of Enishi's order. And he was so lost in thinking of a way out of this predicament that he never wondered about the unusual calmness of the assassin next to him.

"Don't worry he's not hurt" Enishi told Kaoru "however, I won't guarantee the same next time."

Kaoru heard the clicking sound again. Tears were brimming at the corner of her eyes. There was nothing more she wanted to do than push him, or kick him, but what if he fired again? This time the bullet might be buried in Kenshin's chest. Though this wasn't the only reason of her fear, Kaoru knew too well that when it came to Enishi she was a coward. Memories of her days of captivity kept rushing to her mind and the possibility that he might take her again made her frightened and incapable of thinking logically.

"Kaoru..." Enishi whispered calmly but Kaoru heard the threat in his voice so she closed her eyes and stood on her tiptoes, tilting her head towards his.

She kissed him and as Enishi kissed her back his smiling eyes were fixed on the rurouni.

The rurouni's eyes became wide in disbelief "Kaoru..."

As for the younger Kenshin, this was the opening he had been waiting for.

He moved as fast as he could and jumped down the porch. To a normal person, he moved in a blurry motion, which was hardly detectable. However, Enishi was a skilled fighter and he sensed his movement.

But it was a little bit too late.

He saw the assassin lunging at him, saw him unsheathe his sword. And because Enishi was more than a head taller than Kaoru, he had no doubt that the younger Kenshin would behead him in a single sweeping motion. Survival instincts kicked in and he pushed Kaoru towards the assassin and jumped back quickly, however, due to the surprise element and chaos, Enishi's finger, in a reflux motion, pulled the trigger.

A thunderous explosion echoed for the third time that day.

A loud hiss escaped the rurouni's mouth as he gripped his right shoulder. This bullet would have been buried in his chest had he not moved with the intention to descend down the porch. If he had moved a second earlier, the bullet would have missed him. But because he recovered late from the shock of seeing Kaoru kissing Enishi, his movement had been delayed.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru ran to the rurouni, who was crouching on the ground, hand on his bloody shoulder.

"Don't worry about it..." he breathed deeply "it had passed by my shoulder, it's only a scratch."

"But..."

"I had forgotten your presence, brat" Kaoru heard Enishi's voice as he spoke to the younger Kenshin.

The younger Kenshin glared resentfully at Enishi. When he had first heard the sound of firing and seen Enishi by the gate, close to Kaoru, he knew there was no way to help Kaoru unless Enishi changed his gun-target. The assassin had almost smiled when Enishi had pointed the gun on the rurouni; however, Kaoru had again, foolishly, placed her body at gun point, preventing him from making his move. So he had deliberately remained silent, hoping that Enishi would give him an opening. Although it had been a great test for his self-control, the opening had presented itself when the sickening display of Enishi's power over Kaoru took place. And Enishi made it easier for him by keeping the gun aimed at the rurouni, which had been a risk he was MORE than willing to take.

The younger Kenshin felt the rurouni stand, he and Kaoru came to stand next to him. His blood was boiling in his veins when he felt Kaoru near "you low-life bastard" the younger Kenshin hissed "you will pay with your life today."

Enishi raised his eye brow "I will?" he asked mockingly "do you really believe you can beat me?"

"You will die slowly by my sword" the younger Kenshin took a step forward.

"No Kenshin!" Kaoru gripped his sleeve desperately "he is so strong, you can't fight him."

"You better listen to her" Enishi stared briefly at the gun, which was few yards away. It had fallen out of his hand after he had fired. But it was useless now since it hadn't been fully loaded. He looked back at them; he would have to fight using his sword.

But then he realised something. His black eyes narrowed at Kaoru and the younger Kenshin, particularly at the way Kaoru clung to the assassin "you two..." his eyes moved from them to the rurouni, who was a couple of steps away from Kaoru, then back to the couple. He had thought that the rurouni and Kaoru loved each other not ...

"You two are..." Enishi suddenly threw his head back and started laughing "oh Kaoru, do you prefer younger men?" but his laughter were cut short when he saw the younger Kenshin circling his free hand around Kaoru's waist, bringing her closer to him.

"Did you think that your sick methods would prevent Kaoru from loving?" it was the younger Kenshin's turn to smirk.

Enishi made no reply. He felt anger building within him at the sight of Kaoru in the other Kenshin's arms. It seemed that his intentions to separate Kaoru emotionally from the rurouni had driven her to the other's arms. And though Enishi wouldn't admit it, a new emotion gripped his heart.

Jealousy.

He slowly unsheathed his sword.

"Enihsi" the rurouni spoke "stop this right now. You have no excuse..."

"Don't tell ME I have no excuse!" Enishi bellowed in anger, making Kaoru tense in Kenshin's arm "just because we are thrown here, it does not erase the crimes you have committed, does it?" he gripped his sword tightly "it doesn't erase the fact that you had killed my sister in a day like this."

This time the rurouni went rigid, remembering Tomoe.

"Yes" Enishi said angrily "do you remember how my sister blood had covered the white snow? Do you remember how her life ebbed away slowly? Do remember how you had held her lifeless body in your arms? DO YOU?" Enishi roared "because I do. I had seen you kill my sister. I had suffered, went through deprivation, illness, starvation in China. Can you change that? Can you give me back my life?" Enishi's entire form was shaking now.

Kenshin bowed his head; his eyes were full of guilt and remorse. Yes Enishi had hurt Kaoru, made her suffer gravely, yet it was not his fault. Kenshin felt responsible for turning him into the sick person he was.

During the weeks he had been in this time, he had almost forgotten his past. Living during the revolution again made him think that all was fine, that he had never killed Akira nor Tomoe.

Or maybe he pretended that everything was fine.

Deep inside he knew that nothing could undo what he had committed in the past.

Nothing.

"Enishi" the rurouni raised his head when he heard Kaoru's voice and saw her disengage herself from the younger Kenshin's arm "I can understand what you had gone through" and she really could. After all Enishi made her suffer the same during her captivity "but," she spoke softly as she took a step in Enishi's direction "you've been given a chance to see your sister alive" Enishi kept looking at her with unreadable expression, he never blinked "not everyone can be blessed with this chance. Tomoe-san is happy with Akira-san now. You should be happy for her."

Enishi's eyes never left Kaoru. Then suddenly he moved towards her, intending to seize her, however the younger Kenshin anticipated his move and pulled Kaoru back.

"Don't waste your breath on him, Kaoru" the younger Kenshin said "all what you had gone through is less than what you truly deserve" he spoke to Enishi "and today you will die slowly for making Kaoru suffer and for..." the younger Kenshin's grip tighten on his sword "and most of all for making her pregnant" he finished deliberately.

Kaoru snapped her head towards the assassin "wh..what..how...?"

Enishi stared at him in shock before glaring at Kaoru's abdomen, as if he was trying to see a bulge below her kimono "what did you say?" he asked.

The younger Kenshin spoke to Enishi, his amber eyes blazing with hatred "you heard me well."

Enishi kept looking at Kaoru. After he had given out her whereabouts in the island, he had sent someone to report her condition to him. This spy had made no mention about her being pregnant "where is it?" he asked Kaoru.

Kaoru made no reply.

"WHERE IS THE CHILD?" Enishi bellowed.

Kaoru jerked involuntarily upon hearing this. But this time it was the rurouni who spoke "do you think she could have supported a life in the condition you've left her? She was barely alive" the rurouni hissed the last words angrily.

Enishi's black eyes never left Kaoru, his expression was unreadable. Then he pointed his sword at her "you are coming with me today."

And he charged.

The younger Kenshin ran to meet his attack, so they would be at a distance from Kaoru.

Kaoru heard the clash of their swords "Kenshin!" she made it to move towards them but the rurouni held her upper arm with his left hand, staining her kimono with blood.

"Kaoru"

"We have to stop them" Kaoru said, not looking at the rurouni "Enishi is too strong"

"Kaoru" the rurouni let go of her arm and gripped her chin, making her stare at him.

Kaoru almost gasped when their eyes met.

His eyes were pure amber.

"Kenshin..."

"Listen to me Kaoru. You have to leave this place now."

"No, I can't leave" Kaoru shock her head.

"Enishi will target you and he" the rurouni meant the younger Kenshin "will be distracted. He can't protect you and fight at the same time. I will stay to help, however," the rurouni looked at his right shoulder. His gi on that area was drenched with blood and his right hand hung uselessly at his side.

"You are badly hurt" Kaoru knew that his wound was more serious than he really showed, and what made it worse was the realisation that he might not be able to wield his sword effectively.

"Don't worry about that. I want you to head back to the inn as fast as you can"

"I can't leave" Kaoru glanced briefly at the dojo. There were bokkens inside.

_Maybe I can..._

"Don't even think about that" the rurouni said, guessing her intentions "you said it yourself, Enishi is too powerful."

Kaoru stared at his amber eyes. The last she had seen them like this had been during the months after her captivity. He didn't seem like the Kenshin she knew, not even like the younger Kenshin.

He seemed ready to kill.

"Now go. I will aid him against Enishi" he gave her a light push towards the door.

Kaoru watched the other Kenshin as he blocked a brutal strike from Enishi. She told herself that she had to leave. She would only serve to distract both Kenshins. Her eyes moved to the rurouni and his bloody shoulder. At this rate he might lose huge amount of blood. She had to do something.

"Kaoru, go"

Her hand touched her neck and started to un-wrap the bandage

"What are you doing?"

"It won't be much, but I have to stop the bleeding in your arm" she moved closer to him and started to wrap it above the wound "is the bullet still inside?" she tried to ignore the sound of clashing swords behind her.

"It passed by my shoulder...barely" Kenshin replied "now go Kaoru"

Kaoru didn't look at him but only said: "please come back, both of you" and she turned and ran towards the door.

Spotting her, Enishi delivered a blow towards the younger Kenshin's side and he moved in the direction of the door with the intention to block Kaoru's way. However, the rurouni managed to painfully unsheathe his sword and block Enishi's advance. Enishi backed away so he could have view of both Kenshins. His eyes glanced briefly at Kaoru before she was out the door.

"So I have to kill you both to get to her?" Enishi asked.

The younger Kenshin glanced at the door before glaring at the rurouni. He didn't like Kaoru moving alone in the streets of Kyoto, especially now that dark is befalling soon.

"Though I must say that two against one is hardly fair" Enishi said.

"Had it been fair when Kaoru had been alone against you?" the younger Kenshin spat.

"Yes you are right, it hadn't been fair at all" Enishi said solemnly before his mouth curved upward into a smile "it had been pleasurable" his statement had the desired effect.

With a cry, the younger Kenshin lunged furiously at Enishi and because the latter was anticipating the hasty attack, he sidestepped Kenshin blow and swept his long sword towards the younger man's back. Luckily, the younger Kenshin sensed his movement and turned quickly to block Enishi's sword.

However, Enishi had planned beyond this.

One of his hands released the hilt and punched the younger Kenshin on his left shoulder.

The younger Kenshin hissed in pain and his hold on his sword faltered as he felt warm liquid trickling down his arms.

His wound was reopened.

The rurouni knew that the younger Kenshin was in trouble and he moved to strike Enishi. Enishi leapt back "your mission was a failure last night, I heard you were injured" he rested the sword against his shoulder, staring at the younger Kenshin "both of you can't defeat me in this condition" he pushed his glasses back.

"I won't defeat you," the younger Kenshin said "I will kill you" ignoring the pain on his shoulder, he attacked again.

The rurouni watched as they fight. He thought this was no good. This wasn't the way in which he usually fought. The rurouni remembered that even at his age, he used to fight calmly and think carefully before he attacked. However, the younger Kenshin was blinded by fury, and Enishi was fuelling his anger deliberately. At this rate the younger Kenshin will lose not only due to his hasty attacks but also because Enishi was more experienced, hence stronger.

But, the rurouni wondered if he could do much to help. He stared at his shoulder. His right arm was numb; he wondered how he still managed to grip the sword. His eyes settled on the white bandage.

_Kaoru_

He wondered if she had reached the inn safely.

* * *

Kaoru kept running.

The sun was setting and the streets were empty. Kaoru had passed by few people few minutes ago, and they had stared at her, whispering among each others. No one could blame them. She was in a mess. Her hair was loose and dishevelled, probably her ribbon had fallen when Enishi pushed her against Kenshin, and her kimono was stained with the rurouni's blood as well as her chin, where he had grabbed her.

But Kaoru could care less.

_I have to reach the inn._

Her priority was to reach the inn as fast as she could to send anyone to aid the two Kenshins against Enishi.

Horrid memories kept racing through her minds. Memories of Enishi's and the rurouni's fight, and how Enishi had all but defeated Kenshin, despite the renowned skills of the rurouni. She knew the younger Kenshin was skilled too, but he lacked the time experience.

Kaoru stopped for a moment to catch her breath. She was in town now, and though the street was empty the lights shone from open tea houses and restaurants. Walking faster, she passed the noisy places and turned left to reach the road by the river. But then, when she passed by a dark alley, she sensed a movement. Kaoru stopped and squinted her eyes to see in the dark. Her mind told her to move on, that whatever was happening it's none if her business. And she was about to keep moving when she noticed an outline of a person slumped against the wall.

_A woman?_

Kaoru walked towards the person "ano...are alright?" Kaoru wondered what anyone –let alone a woman- was doing sitting here in this cold weather.

When she came close, Kaoru confirmed that it was a woman. Her head was bent, her features hidden behind the thick black hair.

Kaoru knew she had little time to waste but she couldn't leave her here. _What if she was injured?_

Kaoru bent down and was about to touch her shoulder when the woman raised her head. Kaoru blinked. The woman was beautiful, with onyx black eyes, full red lips and pale skin.

"I'm...I'm sorry" Kaoru felt embarrassed for staring "are you hurt?"

The unknown woman kept looking at Kaoru with unreadable expression before she opened her trembling mouth "help me"

Kaoru immediately crouched beside her "are you hurt anywhere? Show me I will try to help"

"He is crazy, help me"

Now, being close to her, Kaoru could smell the strong odour of _sake. _

"Are you being followed?" Kaoru asked looking around.

"He will come after me"

"Do you know anyone who might help?" Kaoru felt stupid for asking this question. Of course she didn't have anyone to turn to; otherwise she wouldn't be out here. But Kaoru thought she was drunk and distorted.

"I'm alone" the woman said, clutching her shawl closer as she shuddered.

Kaoru thought she could take her to the inn for this night and figure out what to do later.

"It's alright, don't worry" Kaoru reassured her "I will help you...hmmm..what's your name?"

"Tomoe" the woman said in her melodic voice "Yukishiro Tomoe"

Kaoru's eyes widened as a cold wind blew across the streets of Kyoto.

* * *

Meanwhile, the fight continued.

Enishi whipped his sword in a great arc, but the younger Kenshin ducked low and thrust upward, aiming for the soft flesh beneath Enishi's jaw. Enishi lowered his blade and deflected the attack.

"I wonder, why are you even fighting?" Enishi asked as he parried another blow "she loves the older Battousai not you."

Kenshin ignored him, trying to focus on the fight. He could tell that he was seriously at disadvantage. Enishi was only blocking and deflecting his blows, in other words Enishi was only defending, while he did all the attacking.

"Did you capture her heart by empty words? Even so, I must say that her body belongs to me," he said confidently "has Kaoru spoken to you about her experience with me? Has told you that she made love to me" Enishi smiled at how the assassin's expression changed from anger to shock, then to extreme anger again. He pressed the matter "she had obeyed everything I told her, and you know what a man can ask from a girl like Kaoru."

"LIAR!" Kenshin delivered a blow so strong that Enishi had to use both arms to block the strike; he even took a couple of steps backwards to absorb the blow.

"I'm not lying" their faces were close now "I promised her food and rest and she relented."

Fury shone in the younger Kenshin's eyes, and it blinded his judgment. He leapt back, intending to deal a vertical blow on Enishi's right shoulder.

"Wrong move!" Enishi moved fast, taking the advantage of distance off the assassin and slashed his sword across Kenshin's chest "it's over."

Blood splashed from the younger Kenshin's chest. He fell on his knees, blood dripping and covering the white snow.

"It's over" Enishi repeated, his hand raised to deal the final blow. But he stopped, sensing a movement to his right. He leapt back.

But it was too late.

He felt a searing pain on his right side, as blood started to spread on his blue top.

Enishi met the golden eyes of the rurouni.

"How could you?" the rurouni was breathing hard, his hands were trembling as he gripped the sword "how could you do this to her?" the rurouni had heard the exchange between the other two men. He knew Kaoru was raped, knew she was tortured and starved. But this....Kaoru had never spoken about what she went through. All his knowledge was based on Megumi's examination. Kenshin tightened his hold on his sword, ignoring the agonizing pain on his shoulder. He had been so ignorant. All of them had. All this time Kaoru was being tormented and none of them knew the extent of her suffering "How could you...Kaoru is innocent, YOU HAVE RUINED HER!"

Enishi stared at him coldly "just like you had ruined my life and my sister's. Do you understand our suffering now? Do you understand how my sister's felt when you had killed the man she loved?"

Kenshin tensed.

"You are partially responsible for what happened to Kaoru because if you haven't killed my sister, Kaoru wouldn't have suffered."

"Stop it"

"Do you know she kept saying you would come and safe her? That to last moment she kept calling your name?" Enishi persisted, wanting to torment the rurouni.

"Enough"

"She kept her sanity by believing you would come."

"STOP IT!" the sword fell off Kenshin's hand and he bowed his head. Guilt, exhaustion, blood loss, he suddenly felt the weight of all these ten folds more. His legs gave away under him and he fell on his knees.

Enishi stared mercilessly at him, before the movement of the younger Kenshin, who leaned on his sword as he stood up, gripped his attention.

"It...it's n...not over"

"Look at you. You can hardly stan-" Enishi's words were cut short when the younger Kenshin charged and punched him on the face.

Enishi staggered backward. He was weakening as more blood flow out of his wound. But still he had delivered a more serious wound to the assassin.

The younger Kenshin was panting "I don't...care...what...you have gone through...Kaoru had...nothing to do with it" He again attacked, trying to take advantage of Enishi's state.

Enishi parried, but his movement was slower.

_I have to end this soon. _

Enishi stepped back and punched the younger Kenshin on his head, using his sword hand. Because his sword was still on his hand, the hilt struck Kenshin's forehead. Blood flew down his face covering his left eye. The younger Kenshin swayed and almost fell again but used his sword to steady himself. He stared at Enishi, but his vision was blurry "I...I will...ki...kill you" he hissed, though he stood panting on his spot unable to move.

Enishi's black eyes scanned him then moved to the other Kenshin. This was going nowhere. He himself was starting to feel dizzy, he needed treatment right now. This fight could be resumed later, though, looking at the condition of the younger Kenshin, he doubted he will remain alive. "We will continue this later" Enishi said as he backed away "this is not over. As for Kaoru," he stopped by a yellow fabric on the white ground.

Kaoru's ribbon.

He stared at it before bending slowly and picking it up "it's not over yet" and he left.

The moment he left, the younger Kenshin immediately collapsed. He fell on his side, gasping for air.

"Hey" the rurouni stood up slowly and tottered to him "we have to go to a doctor" he knelt beside him "you can't lay here."

"Kao...ru" the younger Kenshin whispered "is...sh..e...safe?"

"Kaoru is safe, she probably in the inn now"

"Th...en let...me...sleep...for a whi...le" and he closed his eyes.

"NO!" the rurouni shook him "you can't sleep" he shook him harder. They had to get help now. But the younger Kenshin's eyes were closed and his breath, hard just few moments ago, was now shallow and hardly detectable.

This wasn't good.

However, the rurouni doubt he could do anything now. He himself was injured and had been losing blood before the fight had even started. His legs were shaking and strange light appeared before his blurry vision.

_Maybe I could rest for a while too. _

He slumped on the ground and thought he heard voices before darkness engulfed him.

* * *

Kaoru was pacing the yard. She was unable to sit down even for a minute.

It was almost midnight.

And they weren't here yet.

Kaoru tried to reassure herself by thinking that they might have passed by the clinic to treat the rurouni's arm. Yes there was no need to worry. They would be here any minute.

Kaoru stopped, placing her hand on her temple. She was lying to herself. Her rational side told her that if it was only the rurouni's arm being treated, it shouldn't be taking this long. They should have been here hours ago.

Something was wrong.

One of them, or both, was gravely hurt.

Kaoru shook her head. _Stop thinking negatively. _

She urged her mind to turn to the other issue.

Tomoe.

She had brought her here and Tomoe had passed out. She was tired and apparently drunk. Kaoru wondered what had driven her to this state. Was she running from Enishi? Possibly. He might have scared her by stalking her or even telling her the truth. She wouldn't easily accept that he was her younger brother who came from different time.

Still, where was Akira?

The sound of a carriage pulling by the gate brought Kaoru out of her thoughts. She immediately ran to the gate, where two soldiers had already pulled it open.

"They are back" she heard one of the soldiers say as she neared the gate.

Kaoru's pulse was racing as she stared at the carriage's door. The door was opened and the rurouni came out, but turned immediately to assist someone down.

It was the younger Kenshin.

Kaoru's heart almost stopped beating at the sight of him and she covered her mouth to stifle her cry. Under his new gi, she could see white bandage covering his entire chest. His head was wrapped as well and he was so pale. Deathly pale.

"Here I will help him" one of the soldiers placed the younger Kenshin's right arm around his shoulder and helped him to stand.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru dashed toward him.

The younger Kenshin opened his eyes slightly upon hearing her voice "Kao...ru" he whispered, trying to focus his eyes on her face. He raised his left arm to touch her face but even this simple movement proved difficult and immediately his arm fell to his side and his head slumped down. He was unconscious.

"Ken...shin..." Kaoru whispered in panic.

The rurouni pulled Kaoru out of the way "please take him to his room" he told one of the men and two of them carried the unconscious assassin inside.

Kaoru stared after them, unable to stop her tears "he's badly hurt."

"Don't worry," the rurouni tried to assure her "he only needs rest."

"He's hurt because of me" anguish and pain filled Kaoru's heart, she felt responsible for what happened.

"Kaoru..." Kenshin placed his left arm around her shoulder and led her inside, to the yard. Kenshin noticed that her neck was bare and the cross-shaped scar was visible.

"I'm sorry," Kaoru started to wipe her tears with no use, more kept streaming. "How is your arm?"

"It has been treated. I should not use the sword for sometimes," he said "don't concern yourself with it."

Kaoru nodded without saying a word and then she stared at the dark sky for a while. "It seems all I do is causing you pain."

"Kaoru, don't say that," he tightened his arm around her "you know it's not your fault."

"Then I wonder whose fault it is..." she whispered, her glittering blue eyes never left the sky, sadness was visible in them. She suddenly looked down and disengaged herself from Kenshin "Tomoe-san" Kaoru said, her back to Kenshin.

Kenshin looked at her in confusion; thinking he had heard her wrong.

"Tomoe-san is here."

Kenshin's eyes widened at her word "wha..what? When?"

"I met her today. She was drunk and scared so I brought her here" that was all she said before walking to the porch and entering the dojo.

Kenshin remained rooted on his spot, staring at nothing while his mind screamed: _TOMOE IS HERE. _

The fact that he would see her move, speak and breathe again made his pulse race in his veins.

And somehow no one else in the world seemed to matter anymore.

_Tomoe_

* * *

Kaoru slid open the door to Kenshin's room as soundlessly as she could. Upon entering, she walked slowly to his futon and placed a large bowel full of water beside her as she settled down on her knees.

Her eyes never left his face. She reached out to him and brushed a strand away from his cheek. Tears welled in her eyes at the sight of him. His face looked so haggard and worn. She touched his cheek gently. His skin was warm. Kaoru had no doubt that he would be feverish tonight so she wetted a piece of clothes and damped his cheek gently since his forehead was bandaged.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered "I'm really sorry" she kept apologizing. Guilt was tearing her from the inside. Kaoru thought that she shouldn't have stayed here for this long. She should have looked for a way back instead of involving him with her and burdening him with her problems. He already had his own issues to deal with.

Then her thoughts moved to Tomoe. If Tomoe was on her place –like it was supposed to be- she would have helped him through this hard time instead of adding her problems to his, like Kaoru was doing. _Yes_, Kaoru thought, Tomoe was the one for him, and maybe he would realise that once he saw her. And then maybe it would be better if Kaoru stepped out of the picture and let the two find their happiness. But...

Kaoru let go of the clothes and buried her face in her hands.

_But I can't let him go. I love him, I love him._

* * *

Kaoru spent nights and days caring for Kenshin. He rarely opened his eyes or spoke. But in those rare occasions, Kaoru made sure to help him drink something or eat a little. Four days passed and Kaoru seldom left his room, and an hour or two was all the sleep she got during this time. Anguish was building up inside her heart and worry was eating her. She never knew if Tomoe and the rurouni spoke to each other, actually she did not meet him during this time. She only went to the kitchen to put the pretence she was eating and to get fresh water in case Kenshin awoke. The doctor came daily to check on him and always reassured her that Kenshin's condition was stable and his body was compensating the blood loss, that's why he was only awake for short periods. Despite his words, Kaoru couldn't stop worrying.

On the fourth night, Kaoru opened her eyes to the grey light of the dawn. She was leaning against the wall, her head bent down. Blinking rapidly, she looked at the window briefly before attempting to rise to her feet, immediately she fell down again as the room spun around her. Kaoru breathed deeply and leaned against the wall. This wasn't something new, she was being assailed by dizziness almost every day for the past four days due to lack of food and sleep. When she was sure the fit had passed, she placed her hand on the wall and stood up. Spotting her ribbon, she grabbed it and pulled her loose hair on a ponytail and went to settle near Kenshin again.

Her hand reached to his face and she sighed in relief. His temperature was normal. His face had regained its natural colour as she could see by the faint light of the few candles burning in the room. Kaoru smiled for the first time in four days.

_He is getting better. _

Unable to stop herself she bent down, placing each hand on the futon at the side of his head, and pressed her lips on his cheek, planting several soft kisses along his cheek until she reached his mouth. Placing another kiss there, she pulled away slowly.

Then she froze.

Confused amber eyes looked up at her before amusement lit them up.

Startled blue eyes blinked rapidly.

"Ken...shin..." Kaoru remained in her position over him before she quickly pulled away, blushing. However, she immediately showered him with questions "Kenshin, are you alright? How are feeling? Do you feel pain anywhere? Here," she poured some water on a cup "you must drink," she placed her hand behind his head gently and helped him to drink.

Kenshin gladly accepted the water and breathed deeply when he finished the cup, closing his eyes.

Kaoru watched him closely, she expected to see the regular movement of his chest as he went back to sleep. However, he opened his eyes again, staring at her.

"Kenshin are you in pain?" Kaoru asked.

"No"

"Then you must be hungry" her eyes never left his face, she was afraid he was sleep-talking and he would fell to the darkness anytime soon "I will bring something for you."

"Wait" he said, trying to sit.

"No!" Kaoru immediately placed her hands on his shoulder "you must not move."

"I've been lying for long time, I feel stiff."

Kaoru nodded. "Four nights had passed" she pulled the blanket to his neck "but you still need rest and you should eat a little before you go back to sleep. I will bring food right away" she rose quickly, too quickly, and wished she hadn't. Instantly she fell again on her knees, near the futon, and placed one hand on her head, but she removed it as soon as she had put it and looked at Kenshin, who narrowed his eyes at her.

Kaoru smiled nervously at him "I will bring food now."

She was about to stand again but Kenshin extended his right hand and gripped her wrist.

"When was the last time you slept?" he demanded.

"Just few minutes ago I was asleep, really Kenshin that was noth..."

"For how long?"

"I...I don't know."

"For how long Kaoru?" he pressed, glaring at her.

Kaoru looked away "less than an hour."

"You've been doing this for the last four days, haven't you?"

Kaoru nodded.

Kenshin tightened his grip around her wrist. He was angry with her. The moment his eyes settled on her, he knew something was wrong. She looked worn out and thinner than he remembered. It's obvious that she had been depriving herself of sleep and food because of him.

Kenshin sighed and let go of her wrist "are you trying to kill yourself? You have just recovered from a dangerous wound."

Kaoru bowed her head "I couldn't help it" she whispered "I was sick with worry, you..you were hurt because of me, I couldn't stand it" tears fell on her hands, as she clutches the fabric of her kimono on her lab.

Kenshin reached out and touched her cheek "you shouldn't torment yourself, I had fought because that what I wanted, you hadn't pushed me to fight."

"But...But if I had been strong, if...if I had stood up against him..."

"Then what, Kaoru?" he wiped her tears with his thump. His eyes stared at her face before moving to the scar on her neck "do you believe you could have done something against him?"

Kaoru gripped his hand and kissed his palm "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've pulled you into all this."

"Kaoru, Kaoru stop crying and don't apologize for nothing."

Kaoru started to wipe her tears "you are hungry, right?" she asked through her tears "I will go down now."

"I'm not hungry and you are not going anywhere now."

"Then you must sleep, I will bring breakfast once you are awake."

"Yes I will sleep and_ you_ will sleep too"

Kaoru nodded "I will sleep after you rest."

"I'm not having any of this" he began to move slowly to the left "you will sleep here."

"Don't move, Kenshin, your wounds..."

"My wounds are fine; now take off your kimono."

"Kenshin! This is not the time"

Kenshin smirked "you were kissing me ten minutes ago" he was trying to cheer her up.

Kaoru blushed and smiled a little. Her beautiful face lit by that small smile.

"There is a spare yakata there" she figured since Kenshin was able tease her, she could rest for few hours. She stood up slowly, wiping her tears, and walked to extinguish the candles. Once they were off, the room turned into grey colour. Kaoru found the yakata in the usual place. Her eyes moved to Kenshin, and she felt him looking at her, though she couldn't see his eyes.

Kenshin's eyes never left Kaoru. Although he felt tired, knowing she was near awakened all his senses. He watched as she took off her kimono. In the faint light of the dawn, he was only able to see the outline of her thin body. He swore silently that he will make her regain every pound she had lost. She put on the yakata and tucked at her ribbon. Her raven hair came loose and Kenshin knew she must look beautiful. If only she hadn't put off the candles.

Kaoru walked to him.

Kenshin ushered her to his right side because his right arm was not hurt during the fight.

Kaoru pulled the cover away and lay on her side next to him. Kenshin turned his head towards her and kissed her. Kaoru responded softly.

"You should rest" she murmured against his mouth, before she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Ah" Kenshin said simply. He knew she needed sleep more than he did. He kissed the top of her head and not before long, he felt her breathe evenly against him.

Kenshin sighed and stared at the sealing.

Kaoru was suffering and he couldn't do much about it.

He had to talk to her soon and made her reveal what's in her heart. There was so much to be said and he wouldn't let her suffer alone even if he had to force her to speak.

Again he kissed the top of her head before he was claimed by the darkness.

* * *

OMG this chapter was so hard to put together!! I really struggled with writing it.

Don't worry about the rurouni and Tomoe, things will become clear next chapter. And actually the end is near, well it should be 6 or 7 chapters till the final one. But I don't know, I planned to put more in this chap but it's already too jammed.

And I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with this chapter.

EDIT: I see one of the greatest fears of reviewrs is that Tomoe and the rurouni getting together. I say DON'T jump to conclusion people, for all you know no one will end up with anyone!! And I have added Tomoe for a PURPOSE and it isn't necessarily a love-purpose-kind-of-thing. Anywho just wanted to clear things up


	18. Shattered Mind

Warning: this chapter contains one of Kaoru's flashbacks, and you know how unpleasant they are.

* * *

Chapter 18: Shattered Mind

Light streamed through the half opened window, illuminating the small room.

Kaoru opened her eyes slowly, blinking rapidly to adjust her vision to the light seeping from the window. The warm body beside her was motionless apart from the rise and fall of his chest. Kaoru could feel the rhythm of his breathing because her arm was thrown loosely across his chest. It felt so good that Kaoru didn't want to move and she hoped the weight of her arm didn't exert any pressure on his chest wound.

Koru sighed and snuggled closer to Kenshin. She couldn't remember the last time she had such a good sleep, and now she felt reluctant to get up, to leave the warmth radiating from Kenshin and the safety of being near him. But she had to rise; judging from the bright light it would be almost noon and food was her priority. She will make Kenshin eat plenty of food so that he would regain his strength quickly.

Withdrawing her arm slowly, Kaoru propped herself on one arm. But she didn't get far. Kenshin's right arm circled around her waist and brought her to his side again.

"Where are you going?"

Kaoru blinked, looking at Kenshin.

_When did he wake up?_

"Kenshin...sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I've been awake for a while."

"Really?" Kaoru was surprised "why didn't you say something?"

Kenshin gave a small smile "I love watching you asleep" and he bent his head to kiss the blushing girl.

"Ken...shin..." Kaoru murmured against his mouth "y..you...must...be..hun...gry"

"hmmm..." he moved his mouth along her jaw and down her neck. But he stopped there, staring at her unbandaged neck, particularly at her cross-shaped scar.

Certain words had hunted him even in his sleep.

_Has she told you that she made love to me? She had obeyed everything I'd told her, and you know what a man can ask from a girl like Kaoru_

"Kenshin?" Kaoru said uncertainly.

Silently, Kenshin pulled away and lied on his back again.

"Kenshin are you alright? Are you in pain?" she asked anxiously.

"It's nothing" he said simply and made it to sit.

Kaoru immediately sat up "easy Kenshin" and she helped him into a sitting position.

Kenshin winced, feeling a throbbing pain spread across his chest.

Kaoru's eyes never left him "you're in pain, I should summon the doctor."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Kenshin, I cou-"

"I'm fine" he repeated without looking at her.

Kaoru stared at him for a moment, wondering what had darkened his mood "I will go to bring food for you" she said as she rose and walked to grab her kimono. Kaoru had no option but change in this room, since she didn't want to walk in an inn full of men in her sleeping yukata. Not wanting to strip in front of Kenshin, Kaoru walked to a corner of the room so that Kenshin's back would be to her. And to her disappointment Kenshin didn't protest at all.

_Something is wrong _Kaoru thought as she stared at his loose red hair. But now wasn't the time to question him, not in this mood. Heaving a sigh, Kaoru was about to unfasten her sleeping yukata when she heard the rurouni's voice.

"Kaoru-dono, you there? Can I come in?"

"Ah..." Kaoru stared at the younger Kenshin's back before replying "yes Kenshin come in."

The door was open and the rurouni stepped in, but then he halted by the door, staring at Kaoru, whose gaze dropped to the floor.

_Of all the times, _Kaoru thought _now..._

The rurouni kept looking at Kaoru. Seeing her in the assassin's room wearing only a sleeping yukata made them look like...Kenshin didn't even want to think about it, but they seemed as a husband and wife.

"What do you want?" the younger Kenshin demanded impatiently when the rurouni's eyes never left Kaoru.

Finally the rurouni tore his eyes off Kaoru and stared at younger Kenshin "I see that you have recovered fully."

"I see that this doesn't go according to your hopes."

The rurouni ignored him and looked again at Kaoru "Kaoru-dono, I need to talk to you..." he paused "Kaoru-dono, are you all right?" he walked to her "you look tired."

"I'm totally fine, don't-"

"Are you having enough sleep? You haven't been eating, right?"

"Seriously Kenshin I feel fine..."

"But you look ill, Kaoru-dono-"

"Haven't you heard her?" the younger Kenshin interrupted, irritably "if that's all what you want to say, leave."

The rurouni glared at the younger Kenshin's back before looking back at Kaoru "Kaoru-dono, come with me, please, I need to talk to you"

"Yes...sure..."

"You can talk to her here" the younger Kenshin said as he attempted to stand, but pain spread across his chest and he clutched it tightly.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru strode to him and knelt on the futon.

"Don't exhaust yourself," the rurouni said as he walked to the futon, looking down at the younger Kenshin "your wound might reopen."

The younger Kenshin glared at him, detecting a mocking tone in his voice.

"Now Kaoru-dono, maybe we should let him rest and-"

"Excuse me," a voice sounded beside the door.

The rurouni immediately whirled towards the door upon hearing the soft and melodious voice.

"Tomoe..."

All the three pairs of eyes were fixed at the door, staring at the beautiful women whose skin was as pale as the snow outside. But that gave her a unique look which, just like the snow, reflected an air of purity and calmness.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," Tomoe still stood by the door, holding a tray "but Kaoru-chan haven't come to the kitchen this morning so I've figured she must be hungry."

"Thank you, Tomoe-san" Kaoru said "I really appreciate it" Kaoru glanced at the rurouni, he didn't seem surprised to see her, so they must have met previously and talked. Kaoru could detect the difference in the air around him. The rurouni's face was radiating, and genuine smile spread across his face. He seemed to have only eyes for Tomoe and was looking at her as though she was the only one in this world and the fact that he had called Tomoe by her name informally didn't went unnoticed by Kaoru.

Tomoe entered the room and knelt beside the assassin's futon, placing the tray on the floor.

_Tomoe? _The younger Kenshin thought that he had heard this name before and the rurouni's reaction implied that she was someone he knew.

Then it clicked.

"You..." the assassin all but hissed at her "you are that maniac's sister" he remembered Kaoru telling him about why all this revenge had started "what the-" the younger Kenshin's question was cut off because the rurouni suddenly grabbed him by the upper hem of his sleeping yukata.

"Don't you dare speaking to her this way" the rurouni warned, tightening his fist on the fabric.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed "let him go, he's injured."

The rurouni ignored her, glaring at the younger Kenshin, who glared back "let go" the younger Kenshin said calmly.

The rurouni didn't release his hold, but kept staring fiercely at the younger man.

"Please, Himura-san"

The rurouni's hold relaxed the moment he heard Tomoe's voice. Then he released him.

"I don't know why you have spoken to me in that manner" Tomoe spoke to the younger Kenshin, holding his gaze "I haven't met you before and although it's true I have a brother, he is too young to be maniac" she finished calmly.

Kaoru stared at Tomoe as she spoke. She was so calm; her demeanour did not waver when Kenshin had lashed at her. Her features were composed. Now, in the bright light, Kaoru could see how beautiful Tomoe was.

Kaoru had been curious about Tomoe ever since Kenshin had mentioned her in their time, and now seeing the woman whom Kenshin had loved all his life, she could understand why. Apart from being beautiful, Tomoe was elegant with a serene aura and she seemed like a strong woman.

Kaoru glanced at the younger Kenshin, whose eyes were locked on Tomoe as she spoke. Despite his earlier outburst, Kaoru could see that he too was curious about Tomoe and he stared at her with strange look in his eyes.

An unfamiliar feeling gripped Kaoru' heart.

_Maybe he will realise now who is the right one for him. _

Looking at Tomoe, Kaoru was suddenly aware of every scar on her body, every burn, every cut. She looked down at her wrists, which were surrounded with red circles. Compared to Tomoe, Kaoru felt so unattractive.

"Kaoru-dono"

Kaoru snapped her head when she heard her name "Hai!"

"Are you all right, Kaoru-dono?" the rurouni asked "Tomoe asked you to eat, there is enough for two."

Startled, Kaoru looked at Tomoe before staring at the tray "ye...yes...I will eat" Kaoru rose to her feet suddenly "but I will eat down in the kitchen...ah...I have something that I must do" Kaoru picked her kimono again "thank you Tomoe-san, I'm sure Kenshin will eat all what've brought."

"Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin tried to hold her.

Kaoru kept walking to the door "I will see you later" and she stepped out of the room.

Both Tomoe and the rurouni were staring silently after Kaoru, while the younger Kenshin stared straight ahead, with unreadable expression.

Tomoe broke the silence "Kaoru-chan's scar" both Kenshins looked at her "Kaoru-chan's scar seems so deep and painful" she stared at the rurouni "it similar to yours, but hers looks as if it was done deliberately to hurt her. I wonder why someone would harm her; she seems like a kind girl."

The rurouni looked away, his face shadowed by guilt "it is a painful subject for her, please don't ask her about it, Kaoru-dono has been through a lot of pain."

Tomoe nodded "I understand."

The younger Kenshin looked at the window.

_Kaoru_

He thought that Kaoru had gone through more than any of them- including him- could comprehend.

* * *

Kaoru held the empty basket in one hand as she headed outside, towards the back of the inn. After leaving the room, she had headed to the closest vacant room to change into her kimono. Then she had accepted any task that could keep her busy. Kaoru had no idea what was wrong with her. Nothing had happened between Tomoe and the younger Kenshin, yet seeing her close to him made her heart ache. Kaoru stopped in the backyard, where the clothes were hanged.

_Am I jealous of Tomoe-san? _Kaoru wondered and felt bad doing so. Tomoe seemed a like a kind woman and there was no reason to stir her jealousy. She raised her head to the now cloudy dark sky. The bright day had turned to a dark one. It was very cold and the icy wind stirred Kaoru's hair and slapped at her face. But Kaoru was too lost in her thoughts to bother about the weather.

Kaoru sighed and started to pull the clothes, which weren't completely dry due to the cold weather.

"Kaoru" a voice called.

Kaoru immediately whirled around "who's there?" her eyes scanned the empty yard wearily.

"Kaoru here"

Her eyes followed the voice, which led her to a huge tree at the corner of the yard. And beside it stood someone she didn't expect to see.

"Okita!" Kaoru was really surprised that for a moment she just stood staring at him, then she ran to him "oh Okita, I'm so glad to see you, I didn't-"

She was cut off when Okita, whose eyes never left her face, suddenly gathered her in his arms.

"Oh, Kaoru I'm really sorry" he hugged her tighter "I'm really sorry, you were hurt badly because of me."

"O..kita..."

"I didn't know that he intended to hurt you, I thought...I thought I was doing what was best for Shensin gumi, please forgive me."

"Okita" Kaoru moved her hands around his back, patting him gently "what are you saying, there is nothing to forgive, you have helped me, if it wasn't for you, I would still be a captive."

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been captured in the first place, I'm really sorry."

Kaoru pulled away slightly to look at him "please" she touched his cheek "don't blame yourself. I don't hold any ill-feeling for you."

Okita placed his hand over hers "say that you forgive me."

Kaoru smiled "I forgive you Okita."

Okita smiled back, the smile that Kaoru loved so much "you are really so kind, Kaoru-chan."

They looked into each other eyes silently for few moments before Kaoru became aware of their intimate position. Their bodies were pressed against one another, with Okita's hand over hers "ah.." Kaoru pulled away, blushing "I'm...I'm really happy to see you" she said, not meeting his eyes "how long have you been here? But first," Kaoru continued before he answered "we shouldn't stand here where anyone can see us" she pulled him behind the tree, which bark was so thick that two persons could stand behind it without being seen.

Both of them settled down the foot of the tree before Okita began to speak "I've been coming here daily for the last five days, hoping to see you. But there was no sign of you that I was about to give up. It's good that I persisted" he smiled before his expression changed to a serious one "five days ago that man, Enishi, returned to our headquarters injured. He said that he had fought Battousai, so I was worried that you were involved."

Kaoru nodded "I was there when he attacked" she didn't want to think about that day.

"Are you all right Kaoru-chan? Did he hurt you?"

Kaoru shook her head "no I'm fine. But Kenshin was hurt badly; I couldn't leave his side for the last five days"

"I see" Okita said, not looking at her. Silence settled upon them, each lost in his own thoughts as the icy wind kept blowing.

"I don't understand," Okita spoke again, making Kaoru look at him "I don't understand how you can sympathise with a man like Battousai. He is an assassin, a murderer."

"He doesn't kill because he enjoys it; he is doing it for a better country."

"There are other ways to change our country" his eyes looked directly into hers now.

"I know, I know. I can't say I agree with what he's doing, but Kenshin is suffering and bearing the burden of the country on his shoulders."

"You really love him, Kaoru" Okita looked away again.

Kaoru didn't say anything.

"What is wrong with me?" Okita smacked his forehead playfully "I came here to apologize not to upset you" he held her hand and squeezed gently "please forgive me again Kaoru-chan" he said cheerfully.

Despite his earlier comments, Kaoru smiled when he spoke in that manner.

Again silenced descended upon them, a serene, tranquil silence this time. Both sat in mutual harmony under the leafless tree, their shoulders pressed together, their hand joined.

Kaoru felt sudden peace and warmth fill her heart in spite of the freezing weather. She attributed this feeling to Okita, whose smile had cheered her and made her forget about her problems.

In the end they ended up speaking about trivial matters, childhood memories, gossiping, the weather etc. Kaoru always felt at ease when talking to Okita as he did not know what she had been through at the hands of Enishi.

Kaoru smiled and leaned against Okita as she closed her eyes, praying for the happiness of the man that held her hand warmly in a cold day.

* * *

The sun was descending when Kaoru finished her chores. A smile lifted her mouth. Kaoru was really happy for seeing Okita. Whenever she talked to him calmness and peace washed over her heart. She had never doubted his kindness even after hearing how they planned to use her against Kenshin before Enishi had even appeared in this time. Just before Okita had left, he had told her how she had been targeted when Okita had seen her in the market with Kenshin months ago. And ever since, their meetings, which Kaoru had thought were mere coincident, had been designed priorly.

When Kaoru turned into the corridor which led to the room, she saw the rurouni standing by her door.

"Kenshin" Kaoru smiled.

"Kaoru-dono" he smiled back.

When she saw him she remembered that he had meant to speak to her but she had totally forgotten.

"I'm sorry Kenshin have you been waiting for too long?" Kaoru asked as she opened the door to her room.

"Not too long Kaoru-dono" Kenshin followed Kaoru in "but I have to talk to you about Tomoe"

For a moment Kaoru tensed, she didn't know why always felt this way whenever she saw or heard about Tomoe.

"What is wrong with Tomoe-san?"

"I have spoken to her and she's told me why she had been alone and drunk that night" Kenshin said "she had been scared of Enishi"

Kaoru's eyes widened "had he been hurting her?"

Kenshin shook his head "no but he appeared suddenly in her life, saying that he would protect her. Enishi is not stupid to tell her that he is her younger brother from the future. However, coming into her life unexpectedly and saying he would protect her had been a bad move. Tomoe said that she felt she was being stalked and watched constantly and she couldn't understand what he was trying to protect her from."

"But what about Akira-san?" Kaoru asked "why isn't he with her?"

"That is another ordeal for Tomoe. According to her he had returned one night with a serious wound that took more than a month to fully heal. And when he had finally recovered he was so enraged by his master's death that he decided to join the shoguns" Kenshin sighed "so he had left temporarily to join the war."

"I see" Kaoru said softly "it must be hard for Tomoe-san."

"She is really worried about him, that's why she is here in Kyoto at the centre of the conflict" Kenshin explained "and I have talked to Katsura-san and explained Tomoe's condition. She will be staying here for now. So I wanted to make it clear that Tomoe does not know about all the time travel matter and it is better if it stays this way for now. Only me, you, katsura-san and hmmm...the younger me know, let's keep it that way for now."

Kaoru nodded "I understand."

"I will leave you to rest now Kaoru-dono, you must be tired" Kenshin said as he turned towards the door.

"Kenshin"

Kenshin halted, turning his head sideways "yes, Kaoru-dono?"

"You must be really happy," Kaoru said hesitantly "I mean for meeting Tomoe-san again."

Kenshin immediately smiled, a smile that Kaoru had never seen before. It seemed as if his heart was smiling too "yes, I'm so happy that I fear it may be a dream. It is as though all my sins, all the crimes I have committed were unreal" with that he left the room.

Kaoru remained standing in the middle of the room, staring at nothing.

"...unreal..." she repeated, her lips moving slowly.

Kaoru moved her hand and touched her newly bandaged neck.

_Then why do my scars feel so real?_

* * *

After the rurouni had left, Kaoru went to take a bath in the bath house. Then, when most of the inn's occupants were having their evening meal, she took a tray of food and made her way to the younger Kenshin's room. Shiver ran down her spine as she walked down the corridor because her hair was still wet.

_It's really cold. _Kaoru complained inwardly.

Kaoru stopped by Kenshin's room "Kenshin I'm coming in" and she slid the door open with one hand while balancing the tray with the other. She saw Kenshin standing by the window; he turned briefly when she entered before looking out again.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed as she placed the tray on the floor "you shouldn't be moving around" walking to him, she grabbed his hand "come, you should rest."

Kenshin turned to look at her again, and Kaoru would have melted by how handsome he looked with his red hair loose and framing his face perfectly. But the cold look which Kenshin gave her, made Kaoru forget about all these. Well it wasn't a cold look exactly, but his features were expressionless and void of emotions, which was the face he always showed to the rest of the world but not to her.

"Kenshin, is everything okay?" Kaoru asked nervously.

"Ah" that was all he said.

Kaoru felt more nervous "I...I brought you food."

Kenshin's golden eyes flickered to the tray on the floor before he pulled his hand away from Kaoru and went to sit on the futon.

For a moment Kaoru stood on her spot unmoving. Her mind didn't know what make out of this. But in the end she attributed his action to one of his dark moods or something. _Yah it's nothing serious. _

However, soon she would know better.

When Kaoru was about sit next to the futon to help him eat, Kenshin spoke.

"Kaoru" he said, not looking at her "thanks for the food, but I want to stay alone."

Kaoru tensed, she was on her knees now, staring at his profile. He still did not look at her. Kaoru's heart began to beat faster and she just froze in that position, not knowing what to do.

_Something is wrong _Kaoru thought_ what should I do? Should I ask him?_

"Ken-"

"Please, Kaoru."

Kaoru felt her heart tighten at that but she protested no further and rose to her feet.

Kaoru walked to the door "please Kenshin, eat and rest" and she stepped out closing the door slowly behind her.

* * *

Kaoru walked to her room, in dream-like haze. She was so shocked at Kenshin's behaviour that she didn't know how to feel. When she entered her room, she stood motionless in the middle of the dark room.

_Don't cry _she told herself _he must be feeling agitated because he had been doing nothing for a while, yah that must be it. _

Still the tears came. However, amidst the tears, Kaoru smiled _tomorrow all will be fine...tomorrow all will be fine. _She kept repeating this over and over in her head.

_Tomorrow all will be fine. _

* * *

But it wasn't.

The next day it was the same. Kenshin didn't speak unless she spoke to him, and even then his answers were brief. And whenever she asked him what was wrong, he simply said "nothing". Kaoru felt that they were growing further and further apart.

And she couldn't do anything about it.

A week had passed in this manner, and Kaoru grew restless by the day. And one evening when she was walking on the corridor she encountered the rurouni.

"Kaoru-dono" the rurouni greeted her, but then he frowned "something is wrong?"

Kaoru sighed, leaning against the wall "I don't know..."

"Kaoru-dono, you can tell me anything" he touched her shoulder "what's troubling you?"

"It's Kenshin" Kaoru said after few moments "he...he has changed. I mean the way he behaves toward me...is just...I don't know, I keep trying to remember if I did something to upset him"

Kenshin thought for a moment, trying to remember the time when he was at the same age. He had always been taciturn and rarely smiled "maybe he is restless because he isn't doing anything for Ishin shishi for the last two weeks" he said "Katsura-san wouldn't allow him to go in a mission unless he recovered fully."

"I thought about that too, but I don't know. I have a feeling that he is angry with me. Maybe I did something or he heard something."

When Kaoru said the last two words, Kenshin's mind immediately went back to the battle between them and Enishi.

_Has she told you that she made love to me?_

Kaoru stared at him "you Know something" she said and grabbed his gi "tell me, what is it? Is it something I did?"

"Kaoru..." Kenshin looked around before he grabbed her hand, pulling her behind him. They were close to his room so he decided they would head there to talk in privacy.

Once in his room, Kenshin allowed Kaoru in before he entered and closed the door. For few moments he stood facing the door, debating whether he should open this subject with Kaoru.

"Please Kenshin tell me."

Kenshin closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning to face Kaoru "I'm not sure but I think I know what making him behave in such way" he walked to where Kaoru was standing "it's Enishi."

Kaoru's whole body went rigid. She knew that anything related to Enishi was bad for her "wha...what about him?"

"That day, when we fought him, he, I mean Enishi said things..." Kenshin looked away from Kaoru's weary eyes "I...I know you...you were forced...I mean he had..." Kenshin clenched his jaw "that Enishi had raped you...I mean Megumi-dono had said so, but Enishi...he said that you..."

"No...no..."

Kenshin looked at Kaoru now. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking her head in denial.

"I knew it Kaoru-dono, he was lying ri-"

Kenshin didn't have the chance to finish his question because Kaoru threw herself at him, clinging to his gi "I didn't want any of it, please believe me!" Kaoru cried "I really didn't, but I was in pain, I couldn't take it anymore" Kaoru's whole body was quivering as she sobbed hard "I...I just wanted the pain to stop...I obeyed him because he promised to stop torturing me and allow me to sleep...please believe me...please don't hate me...please..." Kaoru buried her face on his chest, sobbing. Shuddering spasms of grieve seemed to wrench her whole small body.

Kenshin stood motionless, he wanted to speak to tell her that it didn't matter, things were fine. But he was too shocked to utter a single word.

"Wh...why is he doing this? No one was supposed to know...no one" more tears streamed down her face as she drew herself away from the still silent rurouni.

When Kaoru drew away Kenshin's eyes settled on her neck "Kaoru!" Kenshin held both her hands "please calm down" red spot was appearing at the left side of the bandage "it's okay Kaoru, I believe you."

But Kaoru wasn't listening, she was moving her lips. But Kenshin didn't make what she was saying.

"Kaoru..."

"I have to go" Kaoru said, bowing her head.

"I can't let you leave like this, Kaoru listen to-"

"Please Kenshin" Kaoru raised her head and stared at him with pleading eyes "I want to stay alone" and she withdrew her hand away and walked to the door, exiting silently.

* * *

Kaoru walked slowly in the dark corridors of the inn. She paced but didn't feel anything around her. The floor beneath her seemed to shift and her surroundings seemed to whirl. Kaoru stopped and leaned against the wall as dizziness assaulted her, stronger than before. She was aware of the blood oozing from her cross-shaped scar, but she tried to ignore this feeling and concentrated on breathing deeply. However, the sensation didn't seem to go away and Kaoru closed her eyes as she cried.

_He knows, _She thought bleakly. Kaoru had no doubts that the younger Kenshin must be feeling disgusted with her that's why he had been pushing her away. _He couldn't stand the __sight of me. But why..._

"Wh..why?" Kaoru's trembling lips whispered in a broken voice. She wondered why Enishi hurt her. Even when he was far, he kept hurting her. She had planned to keep this a secret, to keep the pain of that memory all to herself. But now both Kenshins knew. And Kaoru couldn't help but to think that they are both disgusted with her. Even the rurouni had been speechless.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, but Kaoru started to wipe them. _I have to speak to Kenshin. _Kaoru meant the younger Kenshin. He would surely understand if she explained to him why she had succumbed to Enishi.

Using the wall to support herself, Kaoru started toward the younger Kenshin's room. Once she ascended the stairs, Kaoru halted to catch her breath. She inhaled deeply to calm her racing heart. Even the simple process of taking the stairs proved to be a laborious task. But Kaoru didn't think too much about it, attributing her mounting weakness to lack of food. When she neared Kenshin's room, Kaoru started to wipe her tears and tried to calm herself. But she noticed that the door to his room was slightly open. Slowing her pace, she peered into the room and saw that Kenshin wasn't alone.

Tomoe was with him.

Kaoru couldn't see Tomoe's face because she was kneeling beside Kenshin's futon her back to the door. However, what Kaoru could see, in fact it was all she could see, was Kenshin's face.

He was smiling.

They seemed to be engaged in a conversation, oblivious to their surrounding. Kaoru didn't hear their voices, she didn't care what they were saying, and she just focused on Kenshin's face. He hadn't smiled for her in a long time. He had only shown her indifference and coldness in the last week.

As silently as she had come, Kaoru retreated. Not a single tear escaped her eyes as she made her way to her room. Her hand moved to the scar on her neck and when she looked at it, her fingers were smeared with blood. Looking straight ahead again, her vision started to blur but Kaoru forced herself to keep walking until she reached her room. Upon entering her room, Kaoru closed the door behind her, her head bowed. Moving across the room, she almost tripped on her own feet. Then she leaned against the wall and started to slide along it.

Kaoru thought that she shouldn't feel betrayed. This was how it's supposed to be from the beginning. Kenshin and Tomoe together. Kaoru was certain that the younger Kenshin had started to see this as well.

_What have I expected?_ Kaoru thought as she hugged her knees to her chest. _I was a fool. _She thought that she was a fool for believing that anyone would accept her after what had been done to her. After what _she _had done with Enishi. Enishi had been right all along.

_I'm a whore. _Kaoru buried her face into her knees and into the past.

* * *

_The room was silent, apart from the deep, loud breathing of two people. Well, one person in particular. _

_Enishi moved his hand and buried it in the silky raven hair of the girl lying on top of him. Apart from her deep intake of breath, which he felt on his neck, she was motionless. But Enishi knew she was awake. He thought to allow her a short period of rest while he savoured the feeling of her naked body on top of his. Her face was hidden on the crook of his neck. Enishi ran his other hand along her back, succeeding in making the exhausted girl whimper as his callous hand brushed against her burnt and bruised skin. Enishi smirked at her reaction and started to kiss her shoulder. _

_Kaoru remained silent, she had no strength to fight him or protest against his touches. So silence filled the room once more, while Enishi ran his hand along her body._

_"Enishi..." _

_Enishi stopped his caresses upon hearing the low weak voice. To tell the truth, hearing his name from her lips sounded strange and if he remembered right, it was the first time she uttered his name. He ran his hand along her hair again "yes my Kaoru?" he said as he resumed fondling her body._

_Kaoru didn't answer immediately, he felt her hesitation, as though she was debating to speak or not. She decided on the former._

_"I'm tired" that was all she said._

_Enishi raised an eyebrow at this "but we had just started." _

_"Please..." she whispered. _

_Enishi stared at the ceiling as he contemplated this. Usually she would struggle and resist and wouldn't beg him to stop until towards the end, when her body could bear no more. But now, despite her shivering, he felt her body radiating heat. It must be the start of a fever, he reckoned. Not that it was the first time. Now after three weeks of daily torture and rape, she had been sick often. However, he noticed that lately she was getting weaker and weaker. Enishi thought that before her spirit was sustaining her, or maybe the hope that Battousai would come. But it had been too long and Enishi had crushed her both physically and emotionally. And he sensed that she had lost hope long ago._

_Usually Enishi would just ignore her pleas and continue doing whatever he desired, or if she persisted he would lose his patience and gag her so he wouldn't put up with her begging. _

_He felt generous today. _

_"Well Kaoru, you know that if you want something, you have to give something in return. So I will make a deal with you," he felt her body tense "now, now Kaoru" he planted soft kisses on her shoulder "no need to be afraid. It's a simple deal and we've been through it before" still Kaoru's body remained rigid and he sensed her fear "all you need to do is pleasure me, unlike before, I won't tell you what to do, you will take everything into you hand" Enishi buried his face into her hair "I'm sure after what we've been doing, you have learnt. And in return we will be done early and tomorrow I will let you rest, no torture, no pain." _

_Kaoru was silent, and Enishi allowed her sometime to consider._

_But she remained silent longer than he could indulge. _

_Though he knew that she would eventually agree, he felt that she was testing his patience. _

_"So Kaoru?" he again touched her back and this time he applied more pressure to remind her of the pain she would feel if she chose not to obey. He heard her sharp intake of breath as she tried to suppress her scream. _

_"Y...yes" she whispered. _

_"What was it, Kaoru? I couldn't hear you."_

_"Yes" she said more clearly. _

_"Good" Enishi said "of course you will get food as well. You're hungry Kaoru, aren't you?"_

_"I...I'm th...thirsty" her words were unclear because she started to hyperventilate. Enishi knew that this time it wasn't only fever which made Kaoru gasp for air but fear. He allowed her body some time to calm..._

_...while he attacked her mind. _

_"I've been thinking, Kaoru" Enishi said "that, although the circumstances are different, there is little difference between you and any common whore" Enishi stroke her hair as he spoke "whores use their body to pleasure men for money, and in the end this money is used for food and water and to have a roof above their head. In other words they pleasure men to keep living, and isn't this what you're doing?" he didn't wait for her to answer "you do as I say to get water and food and to rest meaning that you pleasure me to live. I give you options and you choose. Do you see the similarities?" Enishi finished and a smirked when he felt fresh tears falling onto his neck._

_"I'm...I'm not a whore" Kaoru started to move. She was starting to__ push herself up when Enishi wrapped both arms around her and pressed her again to his body "NO!" Kaoru screamed "let me go!" she tried to hit him as she writhed in his arms, but Enishi held her easily. While Kaoru cried and struggled to break free, Enishi kept smiling, amused by her small show of defiance._

_"I'm not a whore, I'm not a whore..." Kaoru kept repeating through her tears. _

_"Kaoru" Enishi said sternly, his smile disappearing "stop this now or," he warned "do you want to be punished?" this had the desired effect. All her struggling ceased as Kaoru went still upon hearing those words. _

_"No...please no..." she pleaded in a small voice._

_"Then be a good girl and I won't hurt you." _

_Enishi made her rest her head on his chest. He knew that this threat would silence her. After all, he had been using this method to crush her defiant nature. Whenever she showed any sign of resistance, even if she so much as refused to kiss him back, he would inflict severe punishment that would make Kaoru think twice before she showed any defiance. Thus, gradually, he had killed the old Kaoru. In addition, the daily torture had made her so physically weak that concurring her mind became easy. His method of torture now focused in reopening her old wounds and aggravating her burns. He would torture her to the point where she would beg him to stop and say that she would do anything for him if he stopped the pain. Of course Enishi would use those words to his advantage and would derive pleasure from making Kaoru stick to her words. And this method had been successful so far. She did whatever he asked her so he had achieved many things in this single method. He broke her entirely and in the same time received his pleasure as a man. But most important of all he achieved his revenge. _

_Though he had been occupied with the pleasure of flesh, Enishi hadn't forgotten why Kaoru was here in the first place. He told himself that breaking and hurting Kaoru was a way of hurting Battousai and getting revenge. And despite keeping Kaoru for much longer than he had planned originally, he thought of this prolongation as a mean of increasing Battousai suffering. _

_However, there were times when, seeing Kaoru writhe and struggle against her chains while he tortured her, he felt this strange feeling grip his heart which told him that he was wrong, that his revenge was out of hand. Was it pity? Was he being affected by her tears and cries of pain? But still, this feeling was short lived and soon it was replaced by rage which led him to hurt her even more. But now, when he listened to her sobs and felt the wetness of her tears on his chest, this feeling was revived. Especially with the knowledge that this time she wasn't crying because of the pain but her tears were due the fear of what he would make her do soon. Sexual abuse had not been part of his plan. And at the beginning he felt angry after each time he had raped her. But gradually he had convinced himself that Kaoru was strong and in order to break her completely he had to continue use sexual means on her. This was what he had been telling himself, however, this reasoning did not succeed in banishing this feeling of guilt completely. _

_Enishi gripped Kaoru's upper arm and raised her so he could look at her face. Then he rose to a sitting position bringing Kaoru up with him. _

_Kaoru who thought it was time to do what she had agreed to do, started to cry again "pl...please..." sobs were making it hard for her to speak "I..d...don't want...this..." _

_Enishi's eyes never left her face. He kept staring at her while she sobbed, something told him to stop this, to tell her that he would call off this deal, just stop crying. But Enishi didn't utter a single word of this instead new thoughts filled his head while he watch her cry. He thought she was beautiful when she cried, and now sitting in front of him naked, with her long raven hair scarcely covering her breasts, the feelings of pity and guilt were replaced by desire and inevitably anger. _

_He wanted her..._

_Enishi pushed her on her back,_

_He desired her..._

_and he climbed on top of her_

_"I have changed my mind Kaoru" he said and pressed his mouth on hers before she uttered any word "__**I**__ will take what __**I**__ want, in any way __**I**__ want, and YOU will pleasure me like the whore you are" and his mouth was on hers again. _

* * *

Kaoru threw her hands over her ears.

"Stop, stop I'm not a whore" she sobbed, trying to banish the voices which filled her entire being.

"Th...this is too much" Kaoru cried "please...someone help me" she curled into a ball as if to protect herself against her harsh and cruel experience "I can't take it...I can't take it anymore..."

Kaoru continued to cry for a while before she raised her head and looked at the door. Her sapphire eyes were dull grey and bloodshot because of crying. She started to stand and headed to the door. Her feet barely supported her but Kaoru swayed out of the room, leaving the door open behind her.

* * *

Now, now before everyone jump on me and curse the younger Kenshin for his attitude please wait till next chapter before doing so.

And wow I can't believe that some reviewers thought that I have introduced Tomoe last chapter simply to throw her with the rurouni while Kaoru would be with the younger Kenshin and all will live happily ever after!! I'm sure after reading 18 chapters of pure angst you would know that a simple ending, where everyone will be happy is close to impossible. Let me tell you more about the end, I still haven't decided which one to choose however, I think I will go for the 2nd ending. I just can't bring myself to think- let alone write- the original ending. I can't do that to the characters! In that ending (first ending) none of the three i.e. Kaoru and the 2 Kenshins will have a happy ending (no deaths). As for the 2nd ending, only ONE of them will end up being happy (and no, DON'T think Romeo and Juliet type of ending). Well the 3rd ending is somewhat a happy one, all the 3 will be...hmmm content. I will be curious to know what everyone will speculate.

Take care and ja ne.


	19. Shattered Happiness

Hi ALL!!

I could't believe how much the last chapter had inspired hate towards the younger Kenshin. I hope this chapter will redeem him in your eyes. He is a good kid!!

* * *

Chapter 19: Shattered Happiness

"Kaoru!" The rurouni stormed into the younger Kenshin's room, glancing around the room frantically, causing both Tomoe and the assassin to look at him.

"Where is Kaoru?" the rurouni asked urgently.

The younger Kenshin jumped to his feet "what do you mean where is Kaoru?" he took a step towards the rurouni "she must be-"

"I went to her room she's not there!" the rurouni said impatiently "nor is she in the kitchen or anywhere in the inn, the women had not seen her" the rurouni clenched his fists "I shouldn't have let her leave my room in that state"

"What?!" the younger Kenshin demanded "your room! What the hell was she doing in your room?"

"Kaoru was upset" the rurouni retorted, glaring at the assassin "she was hurting because of the way you've been treating her!"

The younger Kenshin looked away, averting his gaze.

The rurouni sighed. This was not the time to be angry so he moved towards the door "listen" the rurouni halted by the door way "I made a mistake and told Kaoru what Enishi had told us-"

The younger Kenshin jerked his head "what? Why-"

"Because Kaoru needed an explanation for your behaviour!" the rurouni almost shouted at him, not caring that Tomoe was still in the room "I know it was a mistake, but if something ha-"

Suddenly, the occupants of the room whipped their heads towards the window, where they heard voices in the yard.

"Kaoru!" the rurouni said before storming outside the room, followed by the younger Kenshin.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the front yard.

"Please, let me out" Kaoru begged the two guards standing by the gate "open the gate, please"

"Kamiya for the last time no!" one of the guards said "where are you going at this hour?"

"And we can't let you out at this state" the other one added, looking at the girl before him. Tears streamed down her face and her neck was bleeding. It seemed she would faint any moment because her skin was so pale and she barely remained standing straight. However, what bothered him the most was her eyes. Instead of the radiant sapphire colour which dazzled anyone who looked at them, they were grey and a faraway look dominated them as if she was physically present but her mind was somewhere else.

"Please…" Kaoru pleaded again as she moved towards the gate "I have to go".

One of the men sighed, blocking Kaoru's path "where is Battousai? Isn't she his woman?" he asked his comrade.

Kaoru tensed when she heard that "MOVE!" she pushed at the man "move now!"

"Hey Kam-" the guard's protests ceased when he heard footsteps.

"Kaoru-dono"

Kaoru stopped her attempts when the rurouni had uttered her name. Slowly, she turned her head sideway.

"Kaoru-" the rurouni froze at his spot when his eyes met Kaoru's. He had seen her like this before. She was looking at him, but at the same time she wasn't. Her eyes had a crazed look about them. Her aura was different; he had sensed this same aura in the months after she had been saved from Enishi. Kenshin looked at her neck, which was covered with blood "Kaoru, you are bleeding-"

But Kaoru did not hear any of this, as soon as her eyes settled on the younger Kenshin behind the rurouni, she threw herself at the gate "open the gate!" she pounded on the wooden door "now, now!" her hands moved to the large metal handle "let me out now" she cried, trying to pull the door open but one of the guards slammed his hand on the wooden gate.

"Kaoru…" the rurouni started to approach her when he sensed that the younger Kenshin was about to move. He understood that the younger Kenshin was the trigger which started all this and did not want him to make the matter worse.

"Kaoru-dono" the rurouni came closer "please, for your own sake calm down" he was close to Kaoru now.

Kaoru did not turn to face him "I have to go" she whispered through her tears, her trembling hand gripped the metal handle tightly.

"Kaoru-dono, everything will be fine" he extended his hand and touched her shaking shoulder "you wi-"

"NO!" Kaoru whirled around; trying to hit him, but the rurouni gripped her wrists firmly "DON'T touch me!" she struggled fiercely however, the rurouni held her easily. No matter how hard she fought, her body was weak and Kenshin sensed she was using the last of her energy.

"Kaoru, Kaoru please calm down" the rurouni pulled her body against his, hugging her tightly.

"No! Please let me go" Kaoru struggle in his arms "please…please…" but her resistance started to subside and she buried her face in Kenshin's chest.

"Kaoru…" the rurouni felt her tears on his skin.

"Please…Kenshin" Kaoru started to slide down, and the rurouni went down with her on his knees.

"I'm sorry Kaoru" he stroke her hair gently "I'm sorry"

Kaoru griped his gi tightly "please…help me" she whispered "I can't take it anymore!" she cried more loudly this time "please don't let him hurt me, don't please…"

The rurouni was shocked when he heard this, his heart broke for her and his face contorted with pain. His arms tightened around her body, burying his face in her raven hair "no one will hurt you Kaoru, I promise" he whispered to her, then he looked up to see the younger Kenshin standing behind Kaoru.

"Let her go" the rurouni heard the assassin saying and felt Kaoru tense again in his arms.

"Leave" the rurouni almost hissed "haven't you done enough?"

"Kaoru" the younger Kenshin knelt behind Kaoru "Kaoru come with me" he raised his hands and touched her waist.

Without saying anything, Kaoru wrapped her arms around the rurouni's neck, refusing to look at the younger Kenshin.

"Kaoru…"

"Can't you see that she doesn't want you near her? You have hurt her enou-" the rurouni stopped speaking when he felt Kaoru's arms relax then go limp completely "Kaoru?" he lowered her slowly in his arms, staring at her face. She was unconscious.

The younger Kenshin looked down at Kaoru's face with unreadable expression "you said that I'm the one who started all this" he pulled the unconscious girl into his arms "then I'm the who will end it" rising to his feet, the younger Kenshin held Kaoru tightly in his arms and walked towards the inn and past Tomoe, who had observed everything silently.

* * *

Inside Kenshin's room.

The younger Kenshin looked down at Kaoru, who was sleeping on the futon. He had removed her Kimono and put her in his sleeping yakata, after cleaning her wound, which to his relief had stopped bleeding. He extended his hand and brushed her hair away from her face. His eyes never left her face. Even in sleep she seemed tired.

He withdrew his hand without taking his eyes off her face. Remembering how she had looked at him near the gate, she had not looked like the Kaoru he knew. He almost did not recognise her. And she had asked the other Kenshin to help her, not to allow _him_ to hurt her. The younger Kenshin wondered if by _him_ she meant Enishi or himself.

Kenshin fisted his hands on his lap and gritted his teeth.

_Fool, fool, fool…_he kept repeating.

* * *

The younger Kenshin's eyes fluttered open. For a moment he sat motionless, leaning against his sword. After sitting for few hours watching over Kaoru, he had moved to lean against the stack of books to rest for a while.

He turned his head towards the futon, expecting Kaoru to be still asleep.

But she wasn't.

She was sitting on the futon, looking down at her hands. And when she sensed his movements she spoke "I understand Kenshin" she said, still looking down "you don't have to explain anything. I have not been honest with you; I haven't told you what Enishi and I have done" she continued "so now that you know the truth I should not expect you to accept me, I should not expect anyone to" Kaoru was fudging with the blanket nervously while she spoke "you have suffered Kenshin, you still do, carrying the weight of this country on your shoulders. It must be hard. You are burdened with the future of Japan. And since I have come all I have done was adding to your burden. This has not been my intention. I have wanted to share your pain, to carry it for you, but I have failed. And now," Kaoru stopped for few moments "after meeting Tomoe-san I have understood that she is the one for you" now Kaoru looked at Kenshin, trying to smile "it's hard but I will have to accept it, for your happiness. After all, I don't belong to this time…your time"

Kenshin stood abruptly, causing the sword to drop to the ground. He walked to the futon and knelt beside Kaoru "you think I care about that woman? You think I care about any other woman beside you?"

"You might not care now, but you will. She is the ri-"

"Stop saying that Kaoru!" he cupped her face with his hands "can't you see? You are the one for me. I love _you_"

"But…you can't…no one can love someone like me" Kaoru averted her eyes "and now you know why"

"No Kaoru I don't know. What I know that no one is worthy of you, not even I"

Kaoru looked at him after hearing this.

"You must have thought that I've been pushing you away because I was disgusted 

with you. But the one I was disgusted with was myself" Kenshin withdrew his hands "after what that man had said I understood how much you'd suffered and I understood what a jerk I was. Ever since I met you all I tried to do was to possess your body, to get you to sleep with me. Though I knew you were raped, I kept pressuring you, wanting to show you what it meant to make love" a bitter smile appeared on Kenshin's face "the fool me did not know that you had been forced to make love"

"It wasn't your fault" Kaoru found her voice "no one knew, I kept that from everyone"

"That does not make me any better person, I should have taken things slowly with you and I have almost forced myself on you twice" Kenshin looked away "I hated myself, after what that man said, self-loathing filled me and I felt so unworthy of you"

Kaoru kept looking at him, and she thought that he and the rurouni were really the same "you know Kenshin, down there at the yard I was intending to go to Enishi"

Kenshin was shocked to hear that.

"I wanted to ask him why he had ruined my life, that Tomoe was still alive and she was with the man I love" Kaoru smiled slightly "when I saw you with Tomoe in this room and a smile on your face I was jealous"

"You came to my room?" Kenshin was surprised that he had not sensed her.

"I came to explain to you why I had obeyed Enishi and done all those things with him. But seeing Tomoe with you had clouded my mind. I did not expect I was the jealous type of girl" Kaoru finished with a soft laugh.

Kaoru felt herself suddenly being crushed against Kenshin's chest as he gathered her in his arms "I'm sorry Kaoru" she heard him say "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I will ask for it" he buried his face into her hair "please forgive me" Kaoru felt his arms tighten around her and she did not know what to say. She forgave him, she could not hate Kenshin. However…

"I'm scared Kenshin" she whispered "I don't want to be hurt. I don't think I can take any more pain"

"I won't hurt you Kaoru" he ran one hand along her back "I promise, I know I have failed to keep my first promise to protect you but this time I will not let you down"

Kaoru felt that he arms were shaking, he tried to hide it by moving them but she felt it clearly.

"I don't want to lose you" she heard his voice again, and she was surprised to detect a hint of fear in his voice. She remembered how fragile he had seemed the night he came from one mission, how he had wanted comfort. She suddenly realized how young he was. Outside he might put a strong façade to show the world, but inside he was insecure and afraid of being alone.

She was the only one he trusted to show this side of him.

Kaoru's arms moved around him. She had woken up before him and thought of what to say to him. She had wanted to say that she was not right for him, that she had to leave, she did not belong here. But she couldn't. He needed her and he…loved her.

Kaoru did not know how long they had stayed in each others arms, but eventually she felt him slowly withdrawing, looking at her.

"You need rest, and when you wake up, you will eat" Kenshin touched her hair, tucking a strand behind her hair. He kissed her forehead before he rose to his feet.

"Aren't you…" Kaoru hesitated "aren't you going to sleep next to me?" Kaoru finished shyly.

"No Kaoru, you need to rest" Kenshin saw doubt appearing on her face and he immediately knelt again "Kaoru," he touched her cheek "don't you ever doubt what I have just said to you" he started to stroke her cheek gently "it's just that when I'm close to you, I can't control myself. I want to touch you, to feel your body against 

mine. But right now you don't need this" his mouth captured her lips; kissing her softly "what you need is rest and a lot of it" Kenshin helped her to lie down and tucked the blanket under her chin "I will stay right here"

"But your wounds…"

"They have healed, don't worry about me"

Kaoru smiled, nodding slowly "goodnight"

"Goodnight Kaoru"

* * *

Two days later.

"Yes, come in Kenshin" Kaoru said when she heard the rurouni asking to come in. She smiled apologetically at the younger Kenshin, who did not appear too happy about the admission of the rurouni into his room.

When the rurouni entered, he smiled at Kaoru, who was sitting on the futon "you seem better today Kaoru-dono" he settled at Kaoru's left side, exactly opposite to the frowning assassin.

"It's because I have slept for countless hours and eaten a lot, I feel so full" Kaoru touched her flat stomach.

"I'm glad to hear that Kaoru-dono" Kenshin smiled again, then looked at the younger Kenshin, his smile disappearing "I want to talk to Kaoru-dono"

"Talk" the younger Kenshin said coldly.

"Alone" the rurouni's tone matched the assassin's coldness.

"You're not staying with her alone"

"She is safer with me than with you" the rurouni said with disdain.

"That is your opinion and I don't care about-"

"Please Kenshin" Kaoru cut him off "he only wants to speak with me"

"I will not leave, Kaoru" the younger Kenshin replied calmly.

"Then I will!" Kaoru said stubbornly and shot off the futon. However, as soon as she stood the room swirl around her and she fell on her knees.

"Kaoru-dono!" the rurouni was about to hold her but younger Kenshin pulled her to his lap by her upper arm.

"Be careful with her!" the rurouni snapped.

But the younger Kenshin ignored him, focusing on the distorted girl on his lap "Kaoru? Kaoru? Are al right?" concern was evident in his voice.

"y…yes" Kaoru replied after few moments "I should stop standing this fast"

"I think that you need to see the doctor, Kaoru-dono"

"No, I'm fine. See" Kaoru said while she returned to the futon, sitting with her legs folded under her "It's because I've been lying down all day"

"But if you feel unwell again, you will tell me, right Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru smiled "yes I promise you" Kaoru now turned to the younger Kenshin "listen, Kenshin-"

"It's fine Kaoru-dono" the rurouni said "he won't listen to you, let him stay" his gaze flickered to the stubborn assassin for a moment before he looked back at Kaoru again "Kaoru-dono, I know it's hard" he hesitated "but I want to speak to you about what Enishi had said to us" Kenshin paused, looking at how Kaoru tensed before she looked down at her hands "I know you must have cleared things with him" he said motioning at the younger Kenshin "but I have yet to explain myself"

"You don't have to explain anything, Kenshin" Kaoru whispered, still not looking at him.

"All this time" Kenshin continued "none of us comprehended the extent of your suffering. We have only known what Megumi-dono had told us"

"It's because I have not spoken to anyone"

"This is not an excuse. We should have been more considerate. **I **should have been more considerate. Specially that I am the one who has caused you all this pain"

Kaoru looked at him. She hated it when Kenshin blamed himself "Kenshin please, don't. I have told you many times not to blame yourself. I…"

The rurouni shook his head "Still, last week I have been acting foolishly" he actually seemed ashamed "I mean, seeing Tomoe has made me forgotten what I have caused you"

"It's because you still love her, right Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, a hint of pain was evident in her tone, but Kaoru tried to suppress it.

"I love Tomoe, but the Tomoe I love is dead" the rurouni said calmly "I understand that now. Nothing can change the fact that I have killed her, even if Tomoe is walking in this inn as we speak. Nothing can change what you have been through" Kenshin stared remorsefully at Kaoru's bandaged neck, which was partially hidden by her loose hair.

"I understand what you mean Kenshin" Kaoru said, looking at her hands again "I know that no matter what no one can erase that part of my life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to forget what Enishi has done to me during that time. In few months, it will be a year since I have been captured by him, but nightmares still hunt me in my sleep and fear still griped my heart whenever I hear his name" Kaoru smiled bitterly, her hands fisting on her lap "I guess I'm a big coward at heart"

"Kaoru" the rurouni extended his hand and touched her fisted one "don't say you're a coward. Men break under torture, no matter how old they are or how strong, I have seen many lose their sanity after a week of torture" he squeezed her hand "and you, a young girl, have been through more than torture for more than a month. Yes, your spirit has been broken, but I have seen how you have fought against your illness, nightmares and memories and you have won" Kenshin smiled "The fact that you are here talking, thinking, eating and willing to live is a proof that you are no coward"

Kaoru smiled back, even as few tears slid slowly down her cheeks "thank you Kenshin" she placed her hand over his "thank you"

"But Kaoru-dono, please I'm asking you for one thing. Speak to us, if you felt that you were sad, speak. It will help you. Can you promise me that?"

Kaoru nodded, as she wiped her tears "yes I promise"

"I'm glad to hear that" for a moment the rurouni's gaze settled on the younger Kenshin and immediately wished it hadn't. Hatred and anger poured out of his golden eyes and the rurouni knew the reason.

His hand was still connected with Kaoru.

The rurouni sighed as he slowly withdrew his hand "Kaoru-dono, are you sure you want to stay here? Don't you want to go to your room?"

"I…" Kaoru blushed, not knowing what to say.

"Kaoru will stay here" the younger Kenshin said venomously "and it's time for you to leave, Kaoru needs rest"

"I know she needs rest!" the rurouni snapped "and I doubt staying here will allow her that"

"I can take care of her, now leave"

"Kenshin! He can stay here if he wants, I don't feel sleepy yet"

"It's fine Kaoru-dono. I should leave you to rest" the rurouni said as he stood "and don't forget if you need to speak, just talk to me" smiled at her "goodnight"

"Goodnight Kenshin" Kaoru watched as he left the room, before she jerked her head towards the younger Kenshin "why are acting like this?" she demanded angrily.

"Like what?" the younger Kenshin almost shrugged.

"Like a jerk!" Kaoru glared at him.

Kenshin raised one eyebrow at that, before smirking "I haven't seen you like that for a while" he said as he leaned towards her and wrapped one arm around her waist "you are beautiful when you're angry"

Kaoru pushed him away "yes I'm angry, because you're so stubborn" she pulled the blanket "and don't talk to me until your learn how to behave" she covered herself entirely with the thick blanket.

Kaoru curled into a ball under the cover. She expected Kenshin to pull the cover any moment, but instead she heard some movements and she hears his foot steps. For few moments there was no sound but she felt the blanket being pulled slightly before she felt his body behind her.

Kaoru half turned towards him "what are you doing?" she saw that he was now wearing a sleeping yakata.

"I thought you're not speaking to me?" he said amusingly.

"Right, I am not. So go away"

"You only said no speaking, but" his arm found it way around her waist again "you didn't say anything about touching" he pulled her to his body so that her back would be against his front.

"When I said speaking, I meant touching as well" Kaoru tried to pull away, but he tightened his arm.

"Too late now" he kissed her ear "besides, do you think I was happy seeing that bastard touch you? I was angry and you touched his hand as well, so we both made each other mad" Kenshin said playfully "we are even"

"You did not have to treat Kenshin like that, he's so kind"

"I don't like him"

"You can not dislike yourself"

"We are different"

Kaoru detected disdain in his tone. Sighing, she said "you should not hate Kenshin, he had been through a lot. You more than anyone should know that"

"That does not make me like him" he whispered into her ear "he comes too close to you to suit my liking; you are not the only one who feel Jealousy" his hand moved along her body expertly, making Kaoru's breath quicken "you know Kaoru, I have not touched you for more than a week, am I allowed to do that now?"

Kaoru smiled, he was actually asking for her permission.

So unlike him

"If I say no?" Kaoru teased.

Kenshin remained silent, contemplating for a moment "you won't" his hand pushed the sleeping yakata away from her thigh and started to stroke it gently, moving his hand further up.

Kaoru moaned. She loved the way Kenshin touched her. _So different, so different…_she tried to banish all the awful memories of that time and focused on Kenshin's touch.

"Kaoru?"

"Hmmm…" she mumbled.

"You are fine with that, right?"

Kaoru felt that his breathing was quickening and she knew why "y…yes"

Kenshin turned her on her back and started to untie her sleeping yakata, while he kissed her passionately "I knew you wouldn't say no" he murmured against her mouth.

* * *

Next day.

"Mizuki-san! What are you doing here?" Kaoru was sitting on the futon when Mizuki had entered Kenshin's room, carrying a tray of food.

"Oh my God Kaoru-chan!" Mizuki exhaled, placing the tray on the floor "I don't see you for three days and you lose half of your weight! I'm really going to have a word with Battousai and tell him to lay off a little. What does he do to you? Well apart from the obvious" Mizuki raised her eye brow, looking at Kaoru's gaping sleeping yakata "he can't keep his hands off you, can he?"

"Mizuki!" Kaoru snatched the upper hem of the sleeping yakata closer, to cover her breasts "it…it's just that I move a lot"

"So he makes you do all the moving? That sure gives me a surprise, Battousai seems like the kind who loves to take control" Mizuki said casually as she settled next to the futon, enjoying the way blood rushed to Kaoru's face "yah that's better, at least now you have some lovely colour on your face, seriously you were the deepest shade of yellow when I have entered this room"

"It's because of the miso soap Kenshin makes me drink everyday. I feel that my blood is full of it"

"He better be feeding you properly to make up for all the work he makes you do at night" Mizuki smiled evilly at Kaoru "you haven't been out of this room for the last three days"

Kaoru blushed again "you have come here to tease me, haven't you?"

"That and to make you eat, one can not ignore Battousai…hmmm…requests"

"Kenshin? He asked you to bring me food?" Kaoru asked "he usually does that himself"

"Well, Katsura had ordered everyone to the meeting room. They have been there since one O'clock, and it's almost three now"

Kaoru wondered what Katsura wanted with them.

"Now, now, no need for that face. It's probably a routine meeting or something"

Kaoru smiled "yah you're probably right"

Mizuki moved the tray "now we have to put some meat on you. That what Battousai had wanted me to do" Mizuki spoke as she watched Kaoru eat some boiled rise "you should have been there when he asked for me among those entire women. He seemed nervous and uncomfortable under their gazes. We all agreed that he was more handsome when he shows some normal traits. I for one have found him so adorable. Do I see jealousy in your eyes?" before Kaoru could reply Mizuki continued "of course not, we all know that Battousai has only eyes for you, though many women wish he would notice their existence"

"I'm sure you gave Kenshin a hard time"

"How mean Kaoru-chan, of course I didn't. I have only asked him when you are fit to walk again 'cause we're short at hands"

"You said that!" though she felt embarrassed Kaoru laughed "poor Kenshin he must have been very uncomfortable"

"He sure was, especially that I have said it too loudly so the other girls can hear"

Kaoru continued laughing, imagining Kenshin in that situation "I wish-" Kaoru suddenly clamped her hand over her mouth as she pushed the tray away and rose to her feet. Striding across the room, she pulled a paper back from under her folded Kimono and started to throw up.

"Kaoru-chan!" Mizuki went over to her and started to rub her back. She waited patiently until Kaoru stopped.

"I'm sorry Mizuki-san" Kaoru said finally, breathing deeply "I don't know what's wrong with me"

"How long have you been having this kind sickness?" Mizuki asked wearily "I'm sure it's not the first time since you're prepared" she meant the paper bag.

Kaoru thought for few moments "I felt nauseated most of last week but I only threw up twice in the morning" Kaoru paused "last week had been kinda hard for me so I thought I was sick because I was not taking care of myself. But now…"

"Kaoru-chan listen to me" Mizuki took the bag away from Kaoru and set it aside "I might know what is wrong with you and it's all Battousai's fault"

"No! Don't blame Kenshin. He did not mean to hurt me"

"I know he does not intend to hurt you, he just can't keep himself off you and now he has gotten you pregnant"

Kaoru went still, her eyes widening "pre…pregnant?"

"Yes Kaoru-chan, there is a big possibility that you're pregnant"

"But…I can't…I…"

"What do you mean you can't? You're a woman Kaoru-chan and Battousai is a man. And I'm sure you and him were not **only** talking in the nights you've been spending in his room"

Kaoru stared at the floor, still shocked. _I could be pregnant? _She did not know how to feel_. _Many things had happened in the last month that she had not thought of this. Suddenly Kaoru thought about her previous pregnancy, which had resulted from forced intercourse. Tears welled in her eyes, which gave Mizuki a fright.

"Kaoru-chan, don't cry" Mizuki tried to calm her "I'm sure Battousai is man enough to take responsibility, and if he doesn't I will give him a piece of mind. Don't be sad…Kaoru-chan?" Mizuki trailed off when she saw that Kaoru was smiling amidst her tears.

Kaoru started to wipe her tears "I'm happy Mizuki, so happy" Kaoru said in a shaky voice "I'm having a child with the man I love" Kaoru touched her belly "this child will be loved. This…is different…so diff…" tears kept coming and Kaoru could not stop herself from crying.

But she did not want to stop, they were tears of happiness.

* * *

Kaoru kept pacing the room, she could not sit still for even a moment. The sun was setting outside and still Kenshin did not return. Before Mizuki had left Kaoru made her promise not to tell anyone about her supposed pregnancy. Kaoru would tell Kenshin herself and then they would decide what to do. Anticipation made Kaoru restless. She wondered what his reaction would be. Rejection did not cross her mind. Kenshin loved her and he sure would be as happy as she was about this child. Kaoru was so happy that she did not consider how having this child meant that she might have to forget about her time and the life she knew before.

Kaoru stopped and looked through the window. White flakes fell from the sky, making the ground thick with snow. She closed the window and went to light more candles. Just then the door was opened and the younger Kenshin stepped in.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru smiled brightly. However, the smiled dies on her lips when she saw Kenshin's expression "Kenshin…"

Kenshin closed the door silently before he walked to Kaoru. Without uttering a single word he pulled Kaoru into his arms, hugging her tightly. Then pulling away slightly, he started to kiss her deeply.

"Ken…shin…" Kaoru tried to speak, but he pressed his mouth on hers.

When he finally broke the kiss, he looked into her eyes and Kaoru knew something 

was wrong.

Something big.

"Kenshin, what's wrong?" Kaoru raised her hand and touched his cheek gently.

Kenshin closed his eyes, loving the way Kaoru's hand felt against his cheek "I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Kenshin you're scaring me"

Kenshin opened his eyes, sensing the fear in her low voice. He had to tell her "I will have to leave"

"Leave? To where? Do you have a mission?" Kaoru's hand slowly dropped down and settled on his chest.

Kenshin wished it was only a mission "war. I will have to fight"

Kaoru's eyes widened "war? How…I mean in Kyoto everything is peaceful"

"It will be outside Kyoto. The shoguns and their allies are gathering on the outskirt of Kyoto. We will do the same. During the next ten days Ishin shishi members will leave in small groups to our headquarters outside Kyoto. I will escort Katsura-san, so I will leave on the tenth day. I have to fight. It's my duty" Kenshin finished in a soft voice as if begging her to understand that.

Kaoru was too shocked to speak; she lowered her head to hide her moistening eyes. She told herself not to cry, to understand that he had to go, but she couldn't. He was going to leave, probably for months. She was so scared for his life. This was war, people die in wars.

Her pregnancy forgotten, Kaoru buried her face on the crook of his neck, not wanting him to see how weak she was.

Her cries were silent and if it wasn't for the wetness he felt on his neck, Kenshin wouldn't know she was crying. His arms tightened around her, remembering the rurouni's words.

_Are you so selfish as to keep her by your side while you fight? Or make her suffer by waiting for you?_

Yes he was selfish. He did not want to let her go, he couldn't. He needed her.

"Kaoru" Kenshin moved a little and placed one hand under her chin to make her look at him. Pain gripped his heart as he stared at her tear stained face. .

He always made her cry.

"Don't cry Kaoru" he rubbed her back "I will come back safely" he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"But…but this is war Kenshin, awful things happen in wars"

"I will survive. For you, I will fight to survive" he kissed her again "and when I come back, me and you will be together always. I will never leave you again" he kissed her forehead, then her eyes, then each cheek before reclaiming her mouth again. He suddenly carried off the floor and walked to where the futon was folded on the floor. He unfolded it with a single kick and lowered Kaoru on the futon, never breaking their kiss.

They had few days together and he would spend every moment with her.

* * *

Under the same sky and on that snowy day, Enishi lied on his back staring at the ceiling.

His head turned sideways to glance at the woman sleeping next to him. He grimaced in disgust, resisting the urge to kick her out of bed.

_No one is like __**her**__, no one. _He stared back at the ceiling, thinking about Kaoru. He was in a brothel where he had picked a black haired girl with a small body just like Kaoru, but no one had Kaoru's blue eyes. In fact, no one here came close to her.

_They are real whores_.

Enishi heaved a frustrated sigh and rose, sitting at the edge of the bed, the cheap blanket covering his lower body. He had come close to capturing her again, so close. He remembered the way her trembling body had felt against his hard one in the yard of that abandoned dojo.

_Damn those two! _

But his anger was directed more fiercely toward the younger Kenshin, who had held Kaoru possessively as if she belonged to him.

Enishi clenched his fists. He had thought that he had broken Kaoru entirely that she wouldn't trust another man. Yet she had allowed that assassin to hold her.

Enishi ran his hand through his silver hair, his thoughts travelling to another matter.

_You will pay for making her pregnant. _

Those had been the words of Battousai. And since that day, there wasn't a single moment when he had not thought about those words.

_Kaoru had been carrying my child. _He thought

Why had he been so surprised when he'd heard this? He had raped her everyday for more than a month and had kept her in his bed for hours. Maybe because he had been also torturing her in those days which had made him think no life could grow inside her weak, broken body.

He figured she had become pregnant during the last ten days of captivity. This explained a lot. She had become exhausted easily and begged more and more. Before, she had used to last longer, fight longer.

He remembered that he had used her mounting weakness against her and made her pleasure him. She was so inexperience that he had to tell her exactly what to do. And he had wondered why Battousai had not used her.

_It doesn't matter_ Enishi thought he was glad he had been her first, since it had given him great pleasure- though it had caused Kaoru severe pain- and he would feel that pleasure again once she was captured.

This made him think about another more important matter.

_Tomoe._

He had to be patient; his sister would be with him soon. His plan had already begun, he only had to wait and then his sister would understand everything and would be at his side and he would protect her.

Enishi slumped back onto bed, resting one hand behind his head.

He himself would participate and this time he would remove his two enemies and…

His mind travelled to Kaoru again. He smirked when he thought of the things he would do to her once she's captured.

And he would capture her soon.

* * *

Kaoru and Kenshin laid next to each other on the futon; his arms were around her, while her head rested on his chest.

Kenshin touched her cheek with his finger "are you alright?"

Kaoru rubbed her other cheek on his chest while trying to calm her breath "y..yes"

Silence settled upon them and Kaoru snuggled closer to Kenshin, thinking it was time to sleep. Kaoru was pretty sure it was after midnight.

"Kaoru?"

"Yes?" she mumbled.

"When I come back, I will marry you"

All sleep fled from Kaoru and her eyes went wide. She raised herself, looking down at Kenshin, as if to make sure she had heard him right. He met her gaze, and his blazing amber eyes told her that she had heard him correctly.

"I want us to get married" he said calmly, never breaking their gaze.

Not expecting this, Kaoru was speechless.

Kenshin reached up and brushed his fingers against her cheek "I know it's so sudden, but did you expect I will continue sleeping with you without any commitment?" his hand moved to the back of her head and brought her face down.

"But…" Kenshin cut her words by kissing her.

"But what, Kaoru?" he again looked at her.

"I…" Kaoru began "I'm not from this time" Kaoru was shocked and happy by his words, especially now that a child was growing inside of her. She had not told him about her pregnancy. She couldn't do this because it might distract him in the war he would be fighting. However, marrying the younger Kenshin meant that she had to forget about her time, her dojo, her friends and…the rurouni.

Kenshin rose to a sitting position, bringing Kaoru up with him "I don't care about that"

Kaoru averted her gaze "we can't ignore this fact. I have always been aware that when everything is settled in this time, me and you…" Kaoru paused, what she was about to say was hard on her "that me and you will have to separate. We have meddled enough with history and-"

Kenshin griped Kaoru's upper arms "I will never let you go Kaoru, I have told you that you are my woman, I won't allow anyone to take you away" he pulled her closer to his body "and marriage will make things easier because you will be officially mine" he kissed her "and it will be known to all" he kissed her again, this time a slow gentle kiss that made Kaoru close her eyes and kiss him back.

Kaoru wanted to argue, to tell him to think but instead she wrapped her arms around his back and before she could stop, tears started to stream down her face agaib "I will marry you Kenshin" she buried her face into the crook of his neck "but please…please come back, come back safely" Kaoru was so scared. They could deal with the marriage issue later but right all she cared about was his safety.

"I will be back," he stroke her hair "I promise" Kenshin hoped this war would end the conflicts between the shoguns and anti-shoguns, but what he hoped above all was for him to encounter Enishi so he would kill him slowly and smile while he watched him suffer.

Then, he would marry Kaoru.

He would not allow anyone to take her away; he would keep her by his side and protect her. Even the rurouni wouldn't be allowed near her.

He would make sure of that.

* * *

The rurouni sat outside on the porch, watching the snow fell slowly on the white ground. How long had it been since he had arrived at this time? He didn't know exactly but it had been almost two months, which made it about three months for Kaoru, who had been thrust into this time a month before him. Kenshin did not like this. Kaoru was getting used to this time and more importantly she was getting attached to his younger self, which was really bad.

Kenshin wanted to protect Kaoru from more suffering, he had caused her enough pain in the future and it seems that even his past self was making her suffer, even though it was unintentional. Nevertheless he was unsuitable for her.

_Does that mean __**I'm**__ suitable for Kaoru? _Kenshin wondered, remembering the times he had kissed Kaoru in this time. He did not know what was wrong with him. In their time, he did not even touch Kaoru. But here he felt himself getting bolder. _Is it because I had felt I was close to losing her to my younger self?_ Maybe. Or is it 

because he did not like the other Kenshin?

Kenshin sighed. This was really weird, meeting your past self and hating him. Well it's not that he hated him; he just did not get along with him. They were exactly the opposite and the rurouni did not recall being this mean and possessive. Maybe because in the rurouni's past Tomoe was there to suppress his anger and calm his heart.

What about Kaoru?

The rurouni thought that Kaoru had the opposite effect of Tomoe's. Kaoru was making the fire within the younger Kenshin burn more fiercely. She made him yearn to protect her and to possess her. To love her and to hurt her. His emotions must be in turmoil when he's near her. And the rurouni wondered what had started all this? He remembered that when he had been at that age, he had not cared about women. They had feared him because of his reputation and Tomoe had been the only young woman who had come close to him. And it must be the same with Kaoru. Only this time, unlike Tomoe, Kaoru did not want revenge. She simply must have wanted to help him, to show him kindness, to teach him that there was more to the world than killing and blood.

The rurouni smiled.

_Kaoru is so kind. _

But her kindness, which was rare in the time where the assassin lived, had made him attached to her and this attachment had turned to love. And love was making him so possessive, well not only love. The rurouni knew that his own presence was threatening to the younger Kenshin, which made him scared of losing Kaoru. Scared of losing the only light in his dark world. And the problem was that Kaoru could do nothing about it. She tried to be stubborn, to answer back; however, Kaoru had been through a lot in a very short time. She was emotionally drained and her physical state was worrying him. He hoped with rest and food she would be healthier soon.

But…

Kenshin thought about the war. It must have been hard on her to know they were leaving. And the days, no weeks-maybe months- would be even harder on her, having to wait. He had warned the younger Kenshin before that the time he was living in was not suitable for Kaoru. But he had stubbornly refused to listen to him. Kenshin narrowed his eyes and stood up, placing one hand on the wooden post.

He didn't care how stubborn his younger self could be. After this war he would be taking Kaoru back, away from this bloody time.

He would figure something out for sure...even of he had to force her.

* * *

Three men, each with different plans for poor Kaoru, guess who will win??

I feel that there is something wrong with this chapter, but I'm not sure what. Maybe I'm rushing things. I would like to hear your opinions about this. It could help a lot

Thank you all for your reviews; it was really a nice surprise when I came back to see my inbox full of reviews and favourite alerts. You're the best!!

And see ya soon.


	20. Shattered Dreams

Chapter 20: Shattered Dreams

"Kaoru-chan?" Mizuku called "where are you going?"

Kaoru placed the tray on the bench before turning to Mizuki "I've just finished serving, I'm going to retire for today"

Mizuki wiped her hands with a piece of clothes before walking to Kaoru. The kitchen buzzed with movements and voices, women were chatting, laughing, some were even crying.

Their men were leaving.

Through out the week Ishin shishi members had been leaving in groups, to join the others outside Kyoto.

Katsura would be leaving tomorrow with both Kenshins.

Mizuki pulled Kaoru aside "Kaoru-chan, have you told him?"

Kaoru shook her head, knowing exactly what Mizuki was talking about.

"Kaoru-chan! He is leaving tomorrow, he has to know"

"I can't. Telling him will only serve to distract him"

"But how dense can Battousai be? Hasn't he noticed your morning sickness?"

"He's been busy with Katsura-san" Kaoru explained "usually he's not around when I wake up"

"But Kaoru…"

"It's ok Mizuki" Kaoru turned her head sideways, her attention seized by a crying woman being comforted by another "he will come back, and when he does I will tell him" Kaoru smiled ruefully before she walked to the door.

"Kaoru-chan?" Kaoru stopped and tuned when she heard Mizuki again.

"Tell him to be easy on you, you two are not alone anymore" and she winked at Kaoru.

Kaoru blushed and looked nervously at the other women, luckily everyone seemed busy.

Once she was outside the kitchen, Kaoru placed one hand on her flat stomach. She wondered what month she's in. Apart from the daily morning sickness, it didn't feel that she was pregnant at all. So Kaoru assumed she might be at the end of her first month or beginning of the second. Kaoru smiled and imagined what Kenshin's reaction would be upon hearing that's he's going to be a father.

_What about the other Kenshin? The rurouni? _

Kaoru halted in the corridor. She had not seen the rurouni with the other men when she had served. _Maybe he's with Katsura as well. _

Kaoru decided to go check on him in his room.

While walking to his room, Kaoru thought about the next day.

_The day when both Kenshins will leave. _Kaoru thought bleakly.

Shaking her head, a determined look dominated her features. She had promised herself to be strong for both and wouldn't cry. She believed they would return safely.

Kaoru halted by the rurouni's room. There was dim light coming from the inside, but she sensed no movements.

_Maybe he is with Kstsura after all. _

Kaoru slid the door open slowly and peered inside.

"Ken-" Kaoru's trailed.

Then blood rushed to her face.

"I'm sorry Kenshin!" she squeezed her eyes shut as her body froze by the door.

The rurouni blinked, looking at Kaoru before staring down at himself. He was perched in the middle of the room and was trying his new arm protectors so his upper 

body was naked.

He let out a soft laugh before standing up and walking to Kaoru, who was still standing by the door. He had sensed her approaching but had expected her to call out to him.

"Kaoru-dono" he placed one hand on her shoulder "no need to apologize, I was only testing these. See"

Kaoru opened a single eye, looking at the arm protector clamped to his arm. She smiled sheepishly as she opened her eyes "I thought you were changing, silly me. I should have asked for permission to enter"

"Don't worry about it, Kaoru-dono" he smiled warmly at her as he led her inside.

"I thought you were with Katsura-san"

"I was there until…well until the other me had arrived" Kenshin shrugged "they must be discussing tomorrow's final preparations".

"Yes," Kaoru averted her gaze "you all will be leaving tomorrow"

"We have too, Kaoru-dono" Kenshin said, looking intently at her face.

"You don't have to go Kenshin!" Kaoru suddenly looked at him "this isn't your battle, you don't have to go"

Kenshin shook his head "of course it is my battle Kaoru-dono. You are forgetting that Enishi might be there. I have to stop him"

"But…"

"What are you afraid of, Kaoru-dono?"

"I…" Kaoru hesitated "you have been through a lot of hard time, you have fought in wars and though I have been too young to fathom the disasters of war, I know it must be hard to be part of it. People will die and nothing can be done to save them. I…I don't want you to suffer"

"You don't have to worry about me. You said it yourself, I've been there and understand what I will be facing, I will manage…somehow" he looked at her with gentle eyes "all I want is to end everything with Enishi, I know he hates Ishin shishi and I predict he will try to work things to his advantage. I don't want him to middle with history and try to change the outcomes of this war. He needs to be stopped"

Kaoru stared closely at Kenshin before realization dawned on her "you're going to kill him" it wasn't a question "you…you can't Kenshin" Kaoru's eyes were wide "You…"

"I made an oath?" he continued for her "I know that, however, I think this is the only way to stop him. He is so determined to hurt you that I can't stand and try to only talk to him. I still don't understand why he is so resolved to make _you_ suffer," he said sternly "but if he doesn't come to his senses. I-"

"There must be other way!" Kaoru said urgently "maybe if Tomoe-san speaks to him, he will understand" Kaoru said "you don't have to kill for me…" Kaoru trailed off when Kenshin placed one warm hand on her cheek.

"I will do anything for you, Kaoru" Kenshin said in a voice, so different from his usual one.

They stood in the middle of the room, facing each other. Kenshin was looking at her in a strange way which made Kaoru blush and lower her eyes. Just then she noticed the countless scars which covered his bare chest and thought about the countless battles he had fought. The younger Kenshin had some but not as many as these. Kaoru was seized with incomprehensible desire to touch them. She startled the rurouni by suddenly extending her hand and touching his chest. His hand dropped from her cheek to his side.

_Do my scars look like this? _Kaoru wondered as she traced a long line across his muscular chest. _Probably not. _Kaoru thought that somehow Kenshin's scars were 

beautiful, they were signs of his bravery and strength unlike her scars which were ugly and only indicated humiliation and weakness.

Kenshin stared at Kaoru, who seemed lost in her own world. First, his muscles tensed under her touch then he relaxed and closed his eyes, loving the feeling of her soft fingers on his flesh. It felt great and he wanted her touch him more…

He felt her hand stop.

"Kenshin…I…" Kaoru blinked, looking at Kenshin in bewilderment before she bowed her head "I…" her cheeks were hot with embarrassment.

Kenshin opened his eyes slowly, he felt as if had been awakened from a beautiful a dream "Kaoru…"

"I'm sorry Kenshin" Kaoru still didn't look at him "I don't know what is wrong with me"

"Kaoru…" Kenshin repeated.

His tone made Kaoru raise her head and look at him. For moment she froze.

His eyes were amber.

Kaoru was about to withdraw her hand but Kenshin gripped her wrist and pressed her palm flatly on his chest. Kaoru could feel the fast beating of his heart but they were no match to the frantic beatings of hers.

"Ken…shin…" Kaoru tried to say something but she was lost in the golden pool of his eyes.

_So like him…they are so alike…_

This was what she was thinking when Kenshin leaned slowly towards her. Instead of pulling away, Kaoru found herself welcoming the feeling of his mouth on hers.

His kiss was gentle, slow and soft. As though he wanted to taste her slowly and savor this taste. Kaoru closed her eyes and her body surprised her by kissing him back. She heard him groan against her mouth, a low husky voice, as if to show his approval of her kiss.

"Ka…Kaoru" he whispered against her mouth "Kaoru…"he repeated "when this war is over, we will leave here"

Kaoru's eyes shot open.

_Leave?_

Kenshin withdrew slightly and stared at her "yes" he planted a soft kiss on her mouth again.

"But…"

"But what Kaoru?" Kenshin rasped and lowered both hands, resting them on the small of her back "don't you miss them? Don't miss our friends? Your dojo? Our time?"

She found herself replying sadly "yes" Kaoru felt tears pooling in her eyes "I miss them all, I miss that time" Kaoru meant the time before she had been captured by Enishi, the time when she had been strong and stubborn.

The time when she was innocent.

"We will go back to that time" the rurouni whispered as he leaned towards her again "me…and…you"

At that moment the door was slid open hastily and the younger Kenshin stormed into the room, however, at the scene before him, he halted on his placed.

The rurouni had withdrawn his mouth from Kaoru's when the younger Kenshin burst in but his hands were still touching her lower back, encircling her and their bodies were so close that they were almost touching was it not for Kaoru's hand which was resting on the rurouni's chest.

Kaoru stared with wide eyes at the younger Kenshin; her face was still streaked with tears.

The younger Kenshin narrowed his eye's dangerously at them before his hand flew to his sword as he strode to them.

"Get your hands off her!" he almost roared.

The rurouni pushed Kaoru behind him, preparing to fight.

"NO!" Kaoru stepped between them and faced the younger Kenshin "Kenshin, please calm down, we didn't-"

Kaoru felt herself being yanked forward by the wrist. She looked at the younger Kenshin, who had seized her wrist, but he was not looking at her. He was glaring with obvious hatred at the rurouni and Kaoru felt and saw his body shaking, no doubt with anger, he was straining to control his fury.

"Kenshin…please…"

The younger Kenshin jerked his head towards her as if he had just remembered her presence. Their eyes were locked with each other for few moments before he turned towards the door and pulled her with him.

"Kaoru!" the rurouni made it to follow but Kaoru turned her head towards him.

"It's al right Kenshin, don't worry" and she was pulled out of his room. But Kaoru's eyes had told the rurouni that she could handle the assassin.

* * *

Kenshin kept pulling Kaoru after him. He did not say a word nor did he turn to look at her. And Kaoru remained silent, wondering why she had responded to the rurouni's kiss.

Kenshin pushed Kaoru inside his room and closed the door forcefully.

"Ken-" Kaoru whirled to face him but his name died in her throat when he crushed her mouth with his.

"You're mine" he muttered against her mouth before kissing her again. His hands gripped her upper arms tightly.

"Ken-" Kaoru tried again, but his mouth was pressed firmly on hers. Then she felt herself being pushed against the wall.

"You belong to me" he whispered and again he crushed her lips with his. He pulled her hard against his body and at the same time he pushed his own against hers, squashing her between the wall and his body.

Kaoru felt herself suffocating, she needed to breathe disparately, but she was unable to move at all. His hands were still holding her upper arms painfully. She felt trapped between his body and the wall.

"Ken…Kenshin…" Kaoru tried to turn her head sideways, only to have Kenshin kissing her cheek hungrily. But at least she had the chance to inhale some air. She felt him pressing his lower body against hers "please…Kenshin…" she panted as Kenshin tried to capture her lips again but Kaoru kept moving her head "Ken…shin…you're hurting me" she cried, closing her eyes.

Not expecting him to stop, Kaoru was surprised when he did. She opened her eyes to see him looking at her with hurt expression, before she felt him slide down and kneel before her. His hands wrapped around her waist and he pressed his cheek against her stomach.

"I won't let you go" she heard him whisper "you're mine…I won't allow him to take you…I won't"

For a minute Kaoru stood still, panting for air. Her lips felt swollen and bruised and her arms hurt her, but she moved one hand and placed it on his head, sliding it slowly down to his cheek.

"Kenshin" Kaoru said gently.

But Kenshin did not look at her, instead he tightened his hold around her.

"I won't let you go"

"Kenshin, please look at me" Kaoru caressed his cheek.

Kaoru felt his hands loosen and she slid slowly against the wall until she too was on her knees.

"Kenshin" she said again, looking at his troubled face as her fingers brush his cheek "I won't be going anywhere" Kaoru's vision started to blur "yes…I won't leave…" tears now slid against her cheeks "you…you are the one who is leaving me…"

Comprehension flickered in Kenshin's eyes and without saying anything he reached for her and pulled her to his body, embracing her tightly.

Kaoru did not remember how long he had held her or how many times they made love that night, but she remembered that she had wept, she'd wept in his arms. She wept because she realized that she wasn't the one who was leaving…

He would be leaving her in the morning.

* * *

Darkness would have filled the room, was it not for a couple of candles placed at one corner.

Kaoru lied motionless on the futon. Her head was on Kenshin's chest and her hair was fanned around her, brushing his chest and neck.

"You are awake" Kaoru heard Kenshin's voice.

"I can't sleep" Kaoru replied, which was trued. She had dozed for twenty minutes or so after they had made love but apart from that she had remained awake for hours.

"Rest, Kaoru" Kenshin said "you seem very tired lately"

Kaoru tensed for a moment, thinking he suspected something, however, Kenshin did not say more. Kaoru turned her head so that her chin would rest on his chest while she looked at him "you should sleep, in few hours you will have to prepare for…departure"

Kenshin was lying on his back with one hand behind his head and the other looped around her naked body. His amber eyes studied her face, remembering how she had cried few hours ago.

He always made her cry.

"I will be fine. I don't need much sleep anyway" he shrugged and Kaoru thought he looked so handsome, lying on the position.

Kaoru sighed and again placed her cheek on his hard chest. She moved her hand and brushed her fingers against his rips and upper chest. She smiled when she heard him sigh softly. She knew that he loved it when she touched him and Kaoru wondered when did things become like this, when did she become like this?

Bold and fearless.

Well, not entirely bold and fearless. She still blushed whenever she thinks of all what they do at night. And sometimes, especially after having a nightmare, fear still consumed her when they made love. However, in the last ten days, after they had reconciled, things had changed and she found herself succumbing to Kenshin's every wish.

After what Enishi had done to her, Kaoru had never thought she would ever allow anyone to touch her in anyway, let alone get intimate with her. However, Kenshin had changed that, not the rurouni, but the Kenshin she was lying next to now. Initially, she had surrendered to him because she felt that she needed to prove her love to him. She had been scared, Kaoru remembered thinking it would be very painful just like how it had been with Enishi. However, Kenshin had been gentle and patient with her and to her surprise it had not hurt at all, on the contrary, she had experienced pleasure, although this had not driven away the fear completely. Nightmares would still plague 

her and in more than one occasion Kenshin had, unknowingly, asked her to do things that Enishi had forced her to do before. At first Kaoru had cried at such requests, remembering how she had always cried and begged Enishi to stop and not force her to do those things. However, the guilt which had overwhelmed Kenshin's features had made Kaoru feel bad, especially that she had refused to talk about what she had been through because of Enishi. And, subsequently, she had tried hard to overcome her fears and memories, or at least she had tried to push them away for Kenshin's sake.

"What were you doing in his room?" Kaoru's train of thoughts was interrupted by the smooth, cold voice.

Kaoru remained silent for a moment before replying "I was telling him that he doesn't need to go, that the battle was not his"

"If he stays, I'm taking you with me" Kenshin said harshly.

"For real?!" Kaoru exclaimed, raising her head to look at him, hope filling her sapphire eyes.

Kenshin looked at her with his usual expressionless face before averting his gaze.

Kaoru sighed "I didn't think so" for the last ten days, she had been trying to convince Kenshin to take her with him, telling him she might be useful. But he had absolutely refused, saying war was no place for women. Kaoru sighed again before leaning towards him and kissing him "you're so stubborn" Kaoru smiled. Being with Kenshin like this made it hard to believe he was leaving with the first rays of light.

Kenshin smirked, looking up at her "it would take more than a kiss to convince me" his arm tightened around her bare waist and he pulled her over his body.

"Nothing would convince you" Kaoru complained against his mouth. Then she felt herself being pushed on her back and Kenshin's body hot on top of her "Kenshin" Kaoru said as he kissed her scarred neck.

"Hmmm…" Kenshin murmured.

"Sleep…you need to sleep"

"No Kaoru, I need…You"

He claimed her mouth with a kiss that stole her soul. His lips grazed hers in a light caress. Then he pressed his mouth hard against hers, tracing her lower lip with his tongue. Kaoru opened her mouth and he plunged his tongue in, tasting her, claiming her and setting fire in her body as she clung to him. His body was pressed hard to hers.

And he was inside her.

* * *

The window was opened and Kaoru could hear the loud voices of men in the back yard below. She stood in the middle of the room watching Kenshin as he gathered few of his belongings.

"You will make sure you eat, right Kenshin?"

"Ah" Kenshin said without looking at her.

"You will not exhaust yourself and you will rest whenever you have the opportunity, right?"

"Ah" Kenshin started to tie the bundle of his belongings.

"You will take care of yourself, right Kenshin?"

"Ah"

Silence.

"Will you not take me with you?" Kaoru said finally, desperation apparent her voice.

Kenshin stopped what he was doing and looked at her. She looked even more beautiful this morning, wearing a light purple kimono, adorned with small yellow flowers and a matching yellow ribbon, which held her thick, soft hair in a high 

ponytail. How he wanted to touch her hair and more…however looking at her face banished those thoughts. He could see that she was trying hard not to cry. Kenshin walked to her, his hand moved to her hair, brushing the ponytail gently. Then he tucked at her ribbon, freeing her hair. The raven hair tumbled down in soft, shiny stresses.

He pressed the fabric to his face inhaling her sweet smell.

"I will be taking this" he murmured.

"You can take me" Kaoru said hopefully "I want to care for you"

"Kaoru" Kenshin placed both his hands on her shoulders "I will be fine. I don't want you to worry about me, it is you that I worry about"

Kaoru shook her head "you are the one who will be fighting, not me. I…I want to be with you…"

"Kaoru," Kenshin said sternly "we have been through this before, it's dangerous. I'm not saying it's totally safe here, but you will be safer than anywhere. Few guards will be left here to guard this place so I don't want you to go outside the inn under any circumstances, understood?"

Kaoru only nodded.

Kenshin remained on that position, holding her shoulders. Their eyes stayed locked together; as if they broke this simple contact it would signal his departure. Kaoru could feel his hands trembling on her shoulders. Then suddenly he pulled her to him, holding her so tight, encircling her with his strong arms, as if to shield her from the hard times to come.

As for Kaoru, she clung to him as if life itself depended on the strength of her hold. She felt this overwhelming urge to beg him to stay, to go down on her knees and cling to him. But she suppressed this urge and tried hard not to cry, despite that, silent tears streamed down her cheeks.

No words were spoken, no words needed to be spoken between them. Their embrace said it all, the strength of their hold spoke it all. Kaoru understood that any moment now he would disengage himself, gather his things and walk out the door. And she wouldn't see him for weeks, months, maybe more, she didn't know for how long. What she knew that she wanted this moment to last forever.

_Yes, anytime now he will walk away…_

But Kenshin did not move. And Kaoru wanted to believe that he wouldn't be leaving, that they were hugging because they simply wanted to be close to each other.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Both Kaoru and the younger Kenshin looked at the door.

Kaoru reluctantly pushed away from the younger Kenshin, whose face became cold and angry at the same time.

"Ah…Kenshin" Kaoru started to wipe the tears "come in"

The rurouni slid the door open and remained standing there. His gaze flickered momentarily to the angry assassin before settling on Kaoru. He could see that she had been crying…

And he knew the reason.

"Kaoru-dono" the rurouni said, looking at her with gentle eyes.

"You will be leaving too" and though she was wiping her eyes more tears slid along her cheeks.

"You know that I…we have too"

"I wish I could convince you otherwise" Kaoru said, looking at him.

Kenshin remained silent, staring at her with gentle eyes. He remembered their kiss yesterday, and how lovely she looked when she was touching his scars. And for 

obvious reasons, he remembered the time he had left Tokyo to fight Shishio, how he had gathered her in his arms under that tree among the fireflies. And he wanted to do that too, to hold her tightly. He moved to do that but the younger Kenshin moved in front of Kaoru.

"Don't" he warned.

The rurouni glared at him, he did not wish to fight him. Things were already hard on Kaoru as it is.

"Kenshin" Kaoru moved around the assassin "please, for one single day try to get along with him. You two will be fighting together, you have to cooperate"

A soft laugh escaped the rurouni "what she's saying is true" he walked closer to them "me and you have to work together on the days to come"

"I will be damned-"

"Kenshin!" Kaoru said, reproaching.

"Let him be, Kaoru-dono" the rurouni smiled "he will learn soon enough, more importantly, you Kaoru should take care and stay here always"

"Mou! How many times must I be warned" Kaoru complained, wiping her cheeks.

"And," the rurouni continued, ignoring her compliant "don't try to do anything similar to what you've done in our time"

Kaoru frowned "like what?"

For a moment the younger Kenshin forgot about his anger and listened intently.

"Like trying to follow us outside Kyoto, after all you had followed me from Tokyo to Kyoto when I had left to fight Shishio"

"Oh" Kaoru mouthed simply before she looked at them, smiling sheepishly.

The younger Kenshin, stared at Kaoru, realizing that there are many things he did not know about her "Kaoru" he said sternly and little bit angrily, wondering why the hell would she follow the other Kenshin "don't even try to pull anything as foolish as that"

"See," Kaoru placed both hands on her hips, glaring at the rurouni "now you opened his eyes to unnecessary things, he will lecture me again"

"And this had been my intention from the very beginning" the rurouni grinned.

Kaoru laughed, despite knowing that both would be leaving her soon, she laughed heartily "I promise" Kaoru walked to pick up the younger Kenshin's bundle, feeling their eyes on her "I promise" she repeated as she handed the bundle to Kenshin "I promise that I will not do anything foolish" Kaoru hooked her arms under theirs, looking between them as she led them to the door "and you two should promise me the same"

"I promise" the rurouni found himself grinning, loving the way she held him and more importantly loving how cheerful and brave she was in saying farewell.

"And you Kenshin?" Kaoru turned to the younger Kenshin.

"Yah, sure" he said uncomfortably, angry that Kaoru was too close to the other man and at the same time glad that she was smiling. Her smile was dazzaling. And despite hating the other Kenshin, a small smile tugged at the corners of the assassin's mouth.

"Great! Now I have your words, I will not worry"

_There was no way we could have known…_

She pulled them towards the corridors "come, come, there are lots of preparations to do"

_There was no way I could have known…._

"I know that both of you will return safe so…"

_There was no way anyone could have predicted…_

"So…"

_There was no way I could have anticipated…_

"So…"

…_the sorrow and suffering that would soon follow._

"So I won't cry"

* * *

Kaoru carried her few belongings across the corridor and to her new room. More soldiers kept arriving and leaving everyday and still the inn seemed to be getting filled by the hour, so Kaoru had to share a room with another woman now.

"Excuse me" Kaoru called as she reached the room "I'm coming in" and she opened the door. Kaoru stopped at the threshold upon seeing the woman inside.

Tomoe.

"Kaoru-chan" Tomoe nodded at Kaoru.

Kaoru smiled, cursing herself for looking so surprised at seeing her there, though she couldn't help it. She did not expect that she would be sharing the room with Tomoe of all the woman.

"Tomoe-san" Kaoru said as she entered the room "I'm sorry if I'm intruding, but the inn is getting crowded everyday"

"You are not intruding at all"

Kaoru smiled again, thinking that no matter how many times she saw Tomoe, she always seemed more beautiful than before.

"Is there something wrong, Kaoru-chan?" Tomoe asked with her smooth voice.

Kaoru realized she had been caught staring and she blushed immediately "I'm….I'm sorry Tomoe-san…I did not mean to be rude…it's…" Kaoru trailed, feeling more embarrassed.

Tomoe kept looking at Kaoru with unreadable expression, expecting Kaoru to continue.

Kaoru gulped feeling nervous "it…it's just that you…you are so beautiful" _and you are the sister of the man who had raped and tortured me. _A voice inside of her whispered. But Kaoru banished it away. _Tomoe had nothing to do with what Enishi had done, I could not blame her. _

"Thank you, Kaoru-chan" Tomoe replied, though without smiling at all.

Kaoru nodded, before she started to sort her things. She looked at the futon sadly.

_Kenshin's futon. _

A week had passed since they had left, and Kaoru found herself missing them deeply. She cried, yes she cried everyday for the last week curled in Kenshin's futon alone, she cried in the morning as the morning sickness racked her small body, she cried wishing Kenshin would be with her, rubbing her back, telling her that all will be fine. But she was alone, she slept alone and woke up alone, but then again this was the case of most women here. Their men had left them to fight, they must be hurting too, they must be crying every night, missing their men. And now, looking at Tomoe, Kaoru remembered that Tomoe must have been suffering all alone for a long time. After all, Akira had left her too.

Kaoru sighed, trying to drive all these bleak thoughts away. She had promised both Kenshin that she would take care of herself and she intended to keep her word, not only for them but for her child.

Kaoru smiled at she arranged her stuff.

_My child…our child. _

"Kaoru-chan?"

"Hai!" Kaoru whipped her head towards Tomoe, shaking herself from her thoughts.

"Will you come with me to the kitchen? We can eat together"

Kaoru smiled "yes of course, I would love too. Just give me a minute" Kaoru started to arrange her stuff, so that the room won't be messy "al right, I'm all ready now-" 

Kaoru was about to stand when she felt the room spin around her, she immediately sat back again.

"Kaoru-chan?" Tomoe walked to Kaoru and knelt beside her "what's wrong?"

"I'm fine" Kaoru inhaled deeply "I will be fine, just give me a minute, it will pass" Kaoru lowered her head, taking a deep breath, like she always did when assailed by those fits of dizziness.

"You look pale" Tomoe said "maybe I should bring you something to eat"

Raising her head, Kaoru smiled "thank you Tomoe-san" Kaoru felt better "I feel better now"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" Kaoru started to rise slowly "see"

Tomoe stood as well "but you are still pale, maybe some food will refresh you"

"Yes it probably will" Kaoru smiled "and some company too"

And for the first time since Kaoru met her, Tomoe smiled, a small, polite smile that suited her elegant features perfectly. And Kaoru felt glad that Tomoe was with her. She needed someone to talk to.

She did not want to be alone.

* * *

Few days later.

Kaoru turned sleepily on her futon.

_What time is it? _

Her eyes were closed but she could feel a faint light behind her lids. Kaoru opened her eyes and remained on her back, gripped by this semi-consciousness state after waking. She blinked several times, surprised that the room was not entirely dark.

Then she heard a soft sobbing sound.

Kaoru sat up immediately as she spotted Tomoe near her small writing desk.

She was crying.

"Tomoe…" Kaoru whispered, scrambling to her feet and rushing to Tomoe. She knelt beside her as she placed one hand gently on her back "Tomoe-san what's wrong?" Kaoru asked, concern evident in her voice.

Tomoe was hugging herself as she trembled uncontrollably. Her head was bowed, her shoulders hunched and her loose shiny hair fell at either side of her face, obstructing her features. Sobs shook her slender frame.

"Tomoe…" Kaoru kept rubbing her back gently, trying to comfort her.

"I miss him…" Tomoe said finally "I miss him so much…Akira" she looked at Kaoru now, grieve twisted her beautiful features.

Kaoru looked at her with wide eyes, knowing exactly who she was talking about, then her eyes soften as she hugged Tomoe "shush, Tomoe-san" Kaoru ran her hand along Tomoe's long hair "all will be fine" tears slid down Kaoru's cheeks "I'm sure you will see him soon" Kaoru thought of Kenshin and how much she missed him too, or missed them. Kaoru kept stroking Tomoe's hair, murmuring comforting words in her ears. What broke Kaoru's heart was the fact that their men were fighting on opposite sides, which meant that Tomoe's wish conflicted with Kaoru's. Still she held Tomoe, comforting her as best as she could. She knew that both her and Tomoe did not care that their men fought in opposite sides.

They only wanted to see their loved ones safe again.

* * *

Kaoru looked down at Tomoe, whose head was on Kaoru's lap. Kaoru did not know how long they spent like this. But Tomoe had stopped crying and had not say a word since then, so Kaoru contented herself with touching and playing with Tomoe's hair. 

They were both on the futon, Kaoru sitting on her knees while Tomoe's lied on her side, head rested on Kaoru's lap.

"Tell me about Akira-san" Kaoru tried to initiate a conversation.

"He…is kind, so kind" that was all Tomoe said. Kaoru did not know why but she felt that Tomoe did not want to say more so she did not speak further.

"You are pregnant, Kaoru-chan" Tomoe made Kaoru tense by saying that suddenly.

Then Kaoru relaxed, a small smile appeared on her lips "is it that obvious?"

"Ever since we shared this room, you've been sick for everyday in the morning" Tomoe said in a low, tired voice "and more than once you almost fainted in the kitchen"

"You are right, I'm pregnant" Kaoru found herself smiling.

"Does the father know?"

Kaoru shook her head "no…I…I couldn't tell him"

Tomoe did not say anything for few moments "what about the other Himura-san?"

_The rurouni._

"I couldn't tell him as well"

"On the night of his departure, Himura-san," Tomoe meant the rurouni "had asked me to take care of you"

This surprised Kaoru "he did?" why was Kaoru surprised? Is it because she would have never expected the rurouni to ask the woman he had loved to care for her?

"He is so kind…Kenshin" Kaoru said finally.

"He seems to care for you"

"Ah…well…me and him are…" Kaoru did not know how to continue. What were they to each other? Friends? She remembered how he had kissed her and how she had kissed him back.

"But you love his cousin" Tomoe said "the father of your child"

"Yes I love him" Kaoru did not hesitate for a second when she said that.

* * *

The days passed like a dream. Sometimes the minutes and hours blended together, making Kaoru wonder how such painful days could pass so quickly. She attributed that to Tomoe. Sharing a room with her had been a great idea. Kaoru never felt alone and Tomoe was so kind, taking care of her as big sister would do. They stayed up for hours at night, talking about various things, their house, family, and friends. Kaoru talked about her time in Tokyo without saying anything about the time travel.

"So you know how to fight with a sword?" Tomoe asked as she arranged the plates.

"Not a sword, it would be too heavy for me" Kaoru said truthfully "give me a bokken and I can beat anyone you want me too" Kaoru laughed, washing the plates and handing them to Tomoe, who smiled at her. They were in the kitchen, cleaning after everyone had launch.

"What are you two laughing about?" Mizuki joined them.

"Kaoru-chan can fight with a sword" Tomoe said.

"Not a sword Tomoe, a bokken…"

"You, Kaoru-chan, fight?" Mizuki raised a sceptical eye brow "you can hardly left a kitchen knife"

"I really can use a bokken…or could" Kaoru trailed, thinking that she had not held a bekkon for a year now. _A whole year._

Kaoru had been having nightmares lately.

_Soon it would be a whole year since I was captured by him._

"Kaoru-chan?" she heard Tomoes's voice.

"Sorry, what was it that you said?" Kaoru snapped out of her thoughts.

"Tomoe-san was suggesting that you take a hot bath" Mizuki said "you seem tired"

"No I'm fine, just little stiff actually"

"A hot bath will help you to relax" Mizuki stated.

"Yes, maybe you're right I will finish these-"

"Leave them" Mizuki said "I will take care of the dishes; you and Tomoe go to the bath house"

"Thank you Mizuki-san"

"Don't thank me, after all I have promised Battousai to take care of you" she smirked at Kaoru.

* * *

"This feels great" Kaoru sighed, sinking deeper into the water. Tomoe did the same as she got into the tub in front of Kaoru.

Tomoe just smiled without saying anything. Kaoru had gotten used to her taciturn nature.

Silent settled on the steamy bathhouse.

"You haven't been sleeping well lately" Tomoe broke the silence.

Kaoru looked at her for few moments "I'm sorry, I've been bothering you at night"

"Not at all. But I have noticed that you've been having nightmares" Tomoe said "you've been crying in your sleep" she finished.

"I…it's just that…I've been remembering some bad things that happened to me"

_Yes, soon it would be a year since my life had changed._

"Does it have to do with the scars on your body?" Tomoe asked, no hint of emotion on her perfect face.

Kaoru blinked, wondering how had Tomoe known about her scars, then she remembered that she had just took off her kimono in front of Tomoe.

"Yes" Kaoru said, looking down at the water.

"And the scar on your neck, right?"

Kaoru nodded, still not looking at her. Kaoru wondered why she had forgotten about her disfigured back. Although all she could think about was Enishi in the last few days, she had not thought of how scarred her back was…how disgusting it looked. Maybe because Kenshin had always told her how beautiful her body was every time she was naked with him.

"It will help, Kaoru-chan" Tomoe said gently "if you speak"

Kaoru looked at her now. She remembered how Tomoe had opened her heart for her that night "soon it would be a year since those things had happened to me" Kaoru took a deep breath "that's why I've been having those nightmare, I guess I've been thinking too much of _him_"

"Him?"

"The man who had hurt me" Kaoru averted her eyes, for some reason she had just realised that Tomoe's eyes were similar to Enishi's.

_They are brother and sister after all. _

"Why did he hurt you?"

"Revenge, he had used me to get revenge against someone close to me"

"Why did he do that?"

_Because of you._

Kaoru did not answer straight away "because this close person had killed the man's sister when he was a boy" Kaoru looked at Tomoe, whose hair clung to her face, framing her face perfectly.

"So he did all this for his sister"

Kaoru did not say anything and again silence filled the bath house. Kaoru shifted in the warm water.

"Do you think" Kaoru asked "do you think that his sister would have approved of what he had done to me…for her?"

"No" Tomoe looked at Kaoru directly in the eyes "I'm sure she wouldn't"

Kaoru smiled suddenly as if that answer had lifted a heavy weight off her heart "thanks Tomoe-san"

Confusion clouded Tomoe's features for a second before it slipped to the usual blank expression.

Neither of them spoke for few moments. Kaoru cupped some water in her hands before splashing it on her face.

"I have young brother" Tomoe said suddenly, making Kaoru tense at her words "he is a good boy and I love him a lot"

For some reason Kaoru was unable to say a word, she was finding it hard to believe that Tomoe was talking about the same person who had tortured and raped her a year ago. Then Kaoru asked "where is he, Tomoe-san, your brother?"

"He is at home" Tomoe said a hint of sadness was obvious in her voice "he begged me not to leave to Kyoto. But I couldn't, I had to follow…" she hesitated "…Akira-san"

_What if he had followed Tomoe? _

"Our mother died shortly after giving birth to him" Tomoe said with a faraway look in her black eyes "I'm like a mother to him"

"Tomoe-san, I know you love Akira-san, but don't you think you should have stayed with you brother…I'm sure he needs you"

Tomoe looked intently at Kaoru for a long time before she looked away "I will go back to him…soon"

* * *

Kaoru rubbed her lower abdomen, pondering the reason why her stomach looked as flat as ever. Last week, Mizuki had brought a physician to the inn to check on Kaoru. He had confirmed her pregnancy and it appeared that Kaoru was at the beginning of her third month. When Kaoru had innocently asked why her belly was still flat. The doctor laughed and said that because the baby must be as small as her. Well, according to him, because Kaoru was a petit girl her pregnancy would not show for another two months at most, in the meantime she would still experience morning sickness, dizziness and all. But he assured that all was fine, she only needed to eat more.

_Another two months before I show._

Kaoru stretched herself, trying to relax her stiff muscles. She was standing in Kenshin's room which was empty and deserted.

Kaoru wondered if the father of her child would come before or after her belly grew. More than a month had passed since his departure. The inn was so empty apart from few guards and the women. She assumed that all Ishin shishi allies had assembled outside Kyoto and the fight must have begun already.

_Please be safe._

Walking to the window, she looked at the sleeping Kyoto. For the last two weeks the snow had been melting, now the ground ceased to be pure white as the last of the snow melted away. It was still cold but not as before.

_Spring will be here soon. _Kaoru thought happily, thinking that when they come back, she, both Kenshins and Tomoe would go to see the _sakura _trees by the river.

_By then I would have a round belly. _Kaoru almost giggled, picturing herself with big, round stomach.

_We will all be happy. _

Smiling broadly, Kaoru was about to turn away from the window when something in the far horizon caught her eyes. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see better. It seemed that there was a bright glow in the direction of Kyoto's centre.

_A festival? _Kaoru wondered. But no one told her that Kyoto would hold a festival anytime soon, many women go to town on daily basis, even if it was a festival, it would not be held at this late hour, it must be around eleven in the evening now.

Then she heard it.

A loud, thunder-like sound, which echoed in the night, followed by another, similar sound.

Kaoru raised her head to sky, thinking it was thunder. But the night was cloudless; she could see the half moon clearly.

A commotion was heard down and Kaoru ran out of the room, and down the stairs.

She heard that thunderous sound again as she descended.

This time it sounded closer.

She saw some women running towards the front yard, and then Kaoru saw Mizuki running inside and towards her.

"Mizuki?" Kaoru called out to her "what is wrong? What is this li-?"

"Kaoru-chan" Mizuki said urgently, fear written all over her face "you have to leave here. Kyoto burns…we have lost

…Ishin shishi has lost"

Kaoru's dreams and wishes for spring time vanished at those words.

* * *

(cries…cries) the end is near, next chapter will be the beginning of the end :-( Chaos will spread and bleakness and angst will dominate the last chapters (well that to be expected, ne?).

Thanks for all who reviewed this time I will try to reply to all the reviewers and hopefully you like this chap.

Take care…


	21. Shattered Life

Here is chapter 21!!

WARNING: A very depressing chapter! I cried while writing it...

* * *

Chapter 21: Shattered Life

_"Mizuki?" Kaoru called out to her "what is wrong? What is this li-?"_

_"Kaoru-chan!" Mizuki said urgently, fear written all over her face "you have to leave here. Kyoto burns…we have lost_

…_Ishin shishi has lost"_

_Kaoru's dreams and wishes for spring time vanished at those words._

Kaoru stared at Mizuki with wide eyes, not believing what she had heard "wha…" her voice sounded strange, she tried again "what are you saying…"

Mizuki held Kaoru by her upper arm and led her toward the back of the inn "listen to me Kaoru-chan. Shensin gumi has won, our enemy has won" she steered Kaoru around one corner "according the messenger, they are hunting down the remaining Ishin shishi members, it's only a matter of time before they arrive here" they reached the backyard "many…" she hesitated.

"What are you hiding…oh please Mizuki say it" Kaoru pleaded "something awful had happened"

Mizuki kept walking, not looking at Kaoru "four hundreds Ishin shishi members has died…"

Up until now Kaoru had been listening with shocked daze, refusing to believe that Ishin Shishi had lost, however, upon hearing this, reality rushed out to her "Kenshin! What about Kenshin?" Kaoru stopped in the middle of the backyard "did the messenger say anything about him?" Kaoru looked at Mizuki with pleading eyes.

Mizuki shook her head "all the messenger had said that Battousai had been in the front line of the battle…calm down, Kaoru-chan" Mizuki said when she noticed Kaoru's breath was quickening "no one knows what happened to him, this can be good 'cause it means he is not dead"

"I have to speak to him" Kaoru started to go back towards the inn, but the thunderous sound echoed in the night again and she froze.

It sounded so close.

Mizuki whirled Kaoru toward her "there is no time Kaoru, listen to this. It's a canon's sound, they are burning Kyoto to drive Ishin shishi's followers out. You have to leave, they will target you Kaoru-chan, you are Battousai's woman, they will try to capture you" again she started to pull Kaoru to the small back door.

"Where will I go?" Kaoru protested "I have to wait here, Kenshin…"

"There is another inn, about two hours from the bridge of Kyoto. The inn keeper is loyal to Katsura-san, go there"

"But…"

"Battousai had instructed me to do this" Mizuki said sternly.

"Kenshin?"

"Yes, many of us will go to different safe places if anything is to happen, you will go there and if Battousai is safe, he will do the same"

Kaoru felt tears pooling in her eyes when Mizuki said the word –if. It meant that there was a chance Kenshin was hurt or worse…

Mizuki removed her own shawl and wrapped it around Kaoru's shoulders "you have to be strong Kaoru-chan, for Battousai and for your child"

Kaoru nodded weakly, wiping her tears "what about you and the other women? And Tomoe-san…I have to wait for her"

Mizuki shook her head "we will be fine, it is you whom they will target. I will tell Tomoe-san about your location"

The canon sound exploded in the distance.

"Go! Now!" Mizuki opened the small wooden door "stay away from the centre" she said more urgently now "once you reach the bridge, follow the trail in the woods" Kaoru nodded "the inn name is Hasuwa inn, they will welcome you, now go!" she gave Kaoru a gentle shove outside the door.

Kaoru looked back at her and then she threw her arms around the taller woman "please Mizuki…be safe"

Mizuki smiled sadly at that "you know me I always have a way of escaping troubles, don't worry. Now hurry!"

Kaoru nodded and with one last look at Mizuki she started to run in the bridge direction, not knowing that this was the last time she would see her friend.

She ran towards the chaos.

* * *

Mizuki watched Kaoru disappear behind one corner. Turning around, she wiped at her eyes.

_Be safe Kaoru-chan._

She entered the inn, talking to some women and helping some others to leave.

"Where is Kaoru?" Tomoe appeared suddenly at the entrance of the kitchen.

"I have already sent her away" Mizuki answered "she should be close to…" she trailed off as Tomoe ran back from wherever she came from.

* * *

Kaoru clutched the shawl tightly as she slowed her pace. She had no idea how long it had been since leaving the inn, but running had stolen her breath away and now an overwhelming feeling to rest made her legs heavier. Kaoru stopped and leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. She was close to the bridge, which was good, however, now she had to move toward the centre of Kyoto before turning west. Kaoru closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Even this far from town she could feel that something was wrong, the air was heavy and, opening her eyes, she saw the bright glow in the direction of the town.

Kyoto was burning.

Kaoru pushed herself away from the wall and started to walk. With each step, she was getting closer to the bright town. It seems as if the sun was rising from the wrong direction. But many hours remained before dawn. Kaoru reckoned it was close to midnight now. She rounded a corner and started on a long alley and as she emerged from the dark alley, she placed the shawl over her nose and mouth. The wind was blowing fiercely along the wide street, fanning the black smoke in her direction. From where she stood, the glowing was visible and this indicated that the fire was huge. Kaoru felt her heart tighten at that. People must be suffering right now, she felt like a coward for escaping.

_But I can't be captured, for Kenshin and for my child. _

Still this thought did not banish the guilt which gripped her. Kaoru sighed and tried to push this feeling aside as she started to turn west, towards the bridge.

She would be safe once she crossed the bridge. Kenshin might be already waiting for her. Kaoru tried to think positively. Both Kenshins were good fighters; they probably managed to escape somehow.

_I will see them soon. _

Just as she began to walk the opposite direction of the burning town, a child emerged from the alley closest to her.

He was crying.

Kaoru immediately ran and knelt in front of him.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt anywhere?" Kaoru did a quick assessment with her eyes, his face was blackened due to the smoke and there were small red burns on his small hands. Kaoru swallowed a lump when she saw these burns, remembering her own, though the child burn were minor and small, nothing compared to what she had had. _But he's a small child, he must be hurting. _

"Pl…please…" the child was trying to say something but his voice was hoarse and unclear from weeping.

"Don't worry, I know it hurts, I will help you" Kaoru knew the river was close; she could take him there and wash the burns. The cold water would certainly help "come" Kaoru held his hand "I will help you"

"No!" the child looked at her "please help mummy" he cried more "she…she's trapped"

Kaoru's eyes soften at that and her features twisted in pain. Many children must be suffering like him right now. But why? What for? Was it all in the name of war?

"I will help you" Kaoru said without hesitation as she stood "hurry now, take me to your mummy"

The child nodded through his tears and start leading her away from the direction of the bridge, away from safety and towards the burning city.

* * *

As they neared the centre of Kyoto, the temperature began to rise and the air got heavier. Kaoru pressed her sleeve closer to her nose and mouth. She had given her shawl to the child and wrapped it securely around his nose. Kaoru's vision was starting to blur and she felt the sting of tears, not only due to the black smoke, but because of the scenes she had witnessed along the way. People were dying, she had seen the bodies and now as they walked in the alley she could hear the screams and wails of the town's people, they were very close to the heart of chaos. As they neared the end of the alley, Kaoru tried to prepare herself to the suffering and death she would have to witness, however, no amount of preparations could have made her ready for this. Just as they emerged from the alley, Kaoru immediately scooped the boy in her arms. People were running everywhere, in every direction. She stared with wide eyes at the ground, some bodies were lying there unmoving and the panicking town people stepped over them without any thought. Kaoru knew the child would be run over if he continued to walk on his feet.

"Whe…where do we go now?" Kaoru asked loudly, as she pressed the child closer to her. Houses and markets were burning, the tongues of flame rose to the sky, illuminating the sky. It was hard to believe that it was night.

The child was crying again, the shawl had fallen off his face and Kaoru was scared to bend down and retrieve it.

"Shhhh…things will be all right, don't worry, we will find your mum" Kaoru tried to reassure him, but in reality she felt hopeless. How was she going find his mother amidst all this chaos?

The child raised his arm and pointed left. Kaoru started to move in that direction, stopping only to ask the child for further directions. She kept whispering calming words to him, trying to reassure him and trying to distract herself of the scenes before her. Men were screaming, women were wailing and children were weeping, but others were just silent. Kaoru saw some who were reclined against the wall, eyes vacant, face blackened, some were dead, some were alive, but in a shock or resigned to their fate.

As the child pointed across the street, Kaoru felt someone grab her ankle; she almost tripped, but managed somehow to keep her footing.

"Please….help me…help…" Kaoru looked down reluctantly. An elderly man was lying on the ground, his hand gripping her ankle tightly "help…help me…" he repeated. He appeared to be fine, however, looking at his lower half of his body, Kaoru almost gagged.

His both legs -or what remained of them- were black, burnt completely that the bones were visible.

"I'm sorry…" Kaoru felt tears running down her cheeks as she pulled her leg forcefully from his painful grasp "I'm really sorry…" breaking free, Kaoru held the boy tighter in her arms and ran across the street, people were shoving and pushing at her, but she managed to hold her ground.

_I must not fall, I must not fall, I must not fall…_

Although Kaoru kept repeating this in her mind to gain strength she felt herself weakening, her lungs were burning with the need of fresh air and her muscles were protesting the extra weight she was carrying.

When she stopped by the house the child pointed at, Kaoru felt her heart sinking. The small house was a ruin; all that remained was black and charred woods.

Kaoru looked around, trying to figure out what to do next. Her brain was in turmoil, thinking logically was becoming harder and harder. All around her people ran and screamed and begged for help. Kaoru wanted to help them, to help them all, but she couldn't help the boy in her arms let alone other people.

"Don't…worry…you will be fine…you will be fine" she rocked him gently, looking around.

"Sobaru! Sobaru!" Kaoru heard a female voice from behind. She whirled and saw a tall woman running toward her.

"Mummy!" the child squealed in delight.

"Oh, Sobaru…" the woman yanked the child from Kaoru's arms forcefully and hugged him tightly to her breasts before glaring at Kaoru "WHY DID YOU TAKE MY CHILD?" she started to scream and push at Kaoru.

"I was try-" Kaoru tried to explain.

"WHERE DID YOU TAKE HIM? My poor child" the woman eyes were wild and scared, her face was burned slightly on one side "LEAVE us alone" and she suddenly shoved Kaoru hard.

Kaoru, who wasn't expecting this, found herself slammed against the wall with a force that knocked the air out of her lungs. She gasped and slid against the wall, her eyes closed in pain.

"Wait…wait…" Kaoru whispered weakly as she opened her eyes "I…I was only trying to help" but the woman was already moving, mingling with the panicked crowd.

Kaoru remained sitting were she was slumped against the wall, staring dizzily at the screaming people. She was hot and uncomfortable sitting there, but she was very tired, the smoke was making her eyes water –or was it exhaustion that making her cry?- she wanted nothing more than curl into ball and block the sounds of suffering and crying. But she had to move, to escape here somehow.

When she finally decided to stand up, Kaoru placed one hand on the ground to push herself up and just then she felt her hand touching something soft. She looked down to her left and her eyes widened at what she saw.

A hand was all she could see from under the fallen wall beside her.

Someone was buried under the ruins and all she could see was his or her burnt hand. Kaoru was about to scream but she felt a bile rise in her throat and immediately she bent over and threw up. Tears streamed down her face as she emptied her stomach.

_Kenshin_

The name appeared in the fog of her mind. And it made her cry more. She wanted to see him, to be in his arms, only then she would feel safe.

With this thought, she forced herself up and started to walk paralleled to the broken wall, avoiding the centre of the street. Still sometimes she collided with panicked women and men, sometimes she tripped over burnt bodies, but Kaoru sprang to her feet as fast as possible, afraid to be run over. Her hands were hurting from where she accidently had touched a burning wood.

Finally she saw the alley she had been looking for, the one which would lead her to the bridge. She slipped through and walked faster now, pressing her sleeve to her nose. The screams were behind her now, but still close. Kaoru forced her legs to move faster, wanting to put as much distance as she could with the horrors behind her though in her mind, she could still see the burnt bodies and the mutilated people. In the distance she heard the sound of canons, but their targets were unknown to her. Kaoru walked faster, her muscles were protesting but she forced them to move.

_Move, move, faster, faster…_

She had no clue for how long, but Kaoru kept walking faster and faster, thinking only that she needed to be out of Kyoto. She walked thinking of Kenshin and praying that he was safe, that both were safe. She thought of Mizuki and Tomoe and hoped they were safely out of Kyoto and that they did not have to pass through the town. She walked and walked until suddenly she realized that all around her was silent.

Kaoru stopped and looked around. She was in the middle of a main street; the burning town was behind her. The bridge must be close; she could hear the sound of flowing water near.

The river.

Panting for air, Kaoru forced her legs to move again, now knowing that she would be safe soon, she ran through the alley as fast as she could.

_Kenshin, please be safe, please wait for me. _

Thinking of Kenshin made her legs move faster. The end of the alley was near but she felt as if thousands of miles were between them.

Finally, she reached the mouth of the alley and ran out. She almost squealed in delight when she saw the bridge.

_Kenshin, I will see you soon. _

"Oi!"

Kaoru froze on her spot.

_Oh…no…please no…_

She turned slowly to the left and saw what she had feared the most.

Two Shinsen gumi soldiers were standing by the river with two horses tethered to a tree by the river. The two soldiers started to approach her and Kaoru remained where she was. She had no energy to run, no strength to move at all. She tried to suppress the tears that were pooling in her eyes as they neared her.

"Well, what do we have here?" one soldier said, looking at her. Her hair was loose and her cheeks were blackened with the smoke, and her breaths were coming in short deep gasps "what are you doing here, girl?" the same soldier spoke again, while the other kept studying her intently.

"I have to leave here, please…" Kaoru pleaded "someone is waiting for me"

"Who is waiting for you?"

"My parents" Kaoru lied without hesitation.

"Hmmm…so you got separated from them in the chaos, I guess the situation there is worse than we think" the soldier added, looking at her burned clothes "though you are the first to take this road"

"There is a village near here…" Kaoru started but the soldier waved her away.

"Go, go to your parent, although," he looked at her up and down appreciably "I think you are old enough to live with a man now not with you parent"

Kaoru took a step backward and muttered a quick thank you, before turning around.

"Wait"

Kaoru halted and looked over her shoulder.

It was the second soldier, who up till now had been scrutinizing her silently "what is your name, girl?" he asked solemnly.

"Mi…Mizuki" Kaoru answered.

"Mizuki, eh?" he started to walk toward her again and stopped close to her as Kaoru turned to face him. He reached out and wiped her cheek with his thumb "I think not…" suddenly he grabbed her hard and spin her around twisting her arm painfully behind her "I think not…Kamiya Kaoru"

Kaoru's eyes widened at that. _How did he…?_

"What?" the other soldier said as he came near them "what did you say? Are you sure?"

"Totally sure, I cannot forget her face" he twisted her arm more when Kaoru started to struggle "I was one of the soldiers who led her to the questioning room when she was first captured"

"Whoa! I can't believe our luck, we captured Battousai's woman without breaking a sweat"

Upon hearing Kenshin's name Kaoru started to struggle again "no! Let me go" she tried to stomp on his feet but the man twisted her arm painfully making her cry out in pain.

"Stay still or I will break your arm for you" he threatened calmly.

"No…no…" Kaoru moved frantically, refusing to be captured, yet knowing that she couldn't do anything about it. She could hardly keep standing, let alone fight them both.

"Let's go to the horses" the soldier holding her said as he pulled her roughly "we will restrain her there and move her to the main camp"

He applied more pressure to her arm as he forced her to walk forward. The pain in Kaoru's shoulder was so severe that she stopped struggling. She looked frantically around, searching for something, anything to use as a weapon.

"What with her anyway?" the other soldier said, peering at her.

"We have orders to capture her, as you know Battousai is not among the dead. This woman will be used to lure him out"

The joy that filled Kaoru was so great that she ignored the fact that they would use her to get to Kenshin.

_Kenshin is alive! _Despite her predicament, she smiled _Kenshin is alive _as long as he's alive there was hope. Now she would try twice as hard to escape. She felt her energy renewing and her spirits elevating; however, the next words the soldier uttered made her body go rigid with horror.

"We will deliver her directly to Enishi, this is Kiyokawa-sama's order" he forced her to stop by the horses "get the ropes"

_I have to act_

Just as the other soldier turned towards the horse, Kaoru jammed her elbow onto the man's rips (the man which was holding her) and then she kicked him between his legs. The other soldier turned from the horses upon hearing his comrade's scream and was about to seize her, but Kaoru bent low and grabbed a handful of sand, throwing it on his face. Wasting no time, now that both men we slightly incapacitated, Kaoru ran towards the bridge.

_I have to reach the woods. _She desperately urged her legs to move faster, seeking the woods cover. When she heard voices behind her, Kaoru did not turn or slow down, but kept running towards the bridge, which was closer now.

Now she was so close, she could almost touch the railing of the bridge, but just as she was about to cross the wooden bridge, a hand yanked her kimono from behind and shoved her hard on the ground. Kaoru yelped in pain, and the soldier wasted no time as he straddled her waist.

"Let me go!" Kaoru screamed at him and hit him on his hand and chest.

"You bitch…" he slapped her hard across the face, causing tears of pain to run down her cheeks "bring the rope!"

The other soldier appeared, holding a length of rope and rubbing his eyes. He knelt beside them as the soldier on top of Kaoru grabbed her wrists, locking them together.

"She is really a big trouble" the soldier complained as he looped the rope around her wrists.

"NO!" Kaoru tried to fight them with all her strength, she writhed beneath the soldier and tried to throw him off her. However, two men were too much to handle and eventually they secured the rope tightly around her wrists.

The man on top of her rose to his feet and pulled Kaoru to her feet by her hair. The searing pain on her scalp made Kaoru cry out, which earned her a second slap from the soldier.

"Shut up!" he shouted and began pulling her towards the horses "if you try to pull anything again, I swear I will make you regret the day you were born" once they reached the horses he ripped Kaoru's neck bandage and secured another rope around Kaoru's neck and pulled her by it "if you try to escape I will strangle you. Lead the horses" he said to his fellow Shinsen gumi soldier "I will make sure she never tries to escape again"

"Let's just dispose of her" the other soldier complained as he led both horses "we can hunt Battousai down, he is no threat now that Ishin shishi has failed"

"We have specific orders to capture her and bring her to the camp"

Kaoru walked obediently behind him, whenever he tucked at the rope, it constricted tightly around her neck, making it difficult to breathe. Her cheeks stung from where he slapped her and there was nothing more she wished to do than to kick him again or knock him unconscious. But her strength was seeping out of her, the horror she had witnessed and all the physical strain she had been through tonight made her weak and as the time trailed on, she found it hard to keep up with the pace of both men. Only fear of suffocation kept her going. She wondered if this night was ever going to come to an end, she wondered when she's going to see Kenshin again.

_I have to escape_ she thought but did not do anything although she was aware that each step she was making was getting her closer to Enishi.

They were walking parallel to the river, she had heard them say that they have to use the north bridge to cross the river and reach the camp, which was somewhere in the woods. She was grateful that they wouldn't be crossing Kyoto's centre.

They spoke about the battle and she heard that Katsura was not captured, she was glad to hear that. She hoped that both Kenshins were with him.

The bridge could be seen now and Kaoru knew once they crossed it, she would lose all chances to escape.

"Please let me go" Kaoru tried begging "I won't be any use for you, just let me go"

"Shut up" the one holding the rope said.

"Please, don't take me to him…" Kaoru insisted and halted, refusing to walk.

"I said shut up! And move!" he tucked violently at the rope, making it constrict tightly around her neck.

Kaoru gasped and went down on her knees, clutching at the rope with her bound hands.

"Stand up!" he shouted again and raised his hand to slap her "if you don't-"

"What is going on here?" a new calm voice echoed in the night.

Both men turned away from Kaoru and towards the voice.

"Captain Okita…"

Okita was standing about ten paces away, nearer to the bridge. He stared at the girl on her knees. For a moment his eyes widened at the recognition but then he looked coldly at the soldier holding her rope.

"This is Kamiya Kaoru?" Okita asked without a hint of emotion in his voice.

"Yes captain" the soldier replied "we've captured her trying to escape through the western bridge"

Okita nodded and strode to them. Without further words, he knelt before Kaoru, who was looking at him uncertainly, and started to untie the rope around her neck.

"Captain! She will try to escape"

"A mere woman is no challenge for me" Okita replied angrily, looking at the newly formed red line around her neck "but I see that she has been more than a challenge for you both"

"Well…she…" the soldier leading the horse mumbled incoherently.

"Enough!" Okita ordered, looking at Kaoru, who was staring at him with questioning and pleading eyes "you two can leave, I will take her from here" he carefully raised Kaoru to her feet and untie her wrists.

The soldier with the horses started to move back where they had come from without protesting, but the other one remained motionless.

Okita glared at him "do I need to repeat myself?"

"I'm sorry captain Okita but I have two specific orders, from Kiyokawa-sama himself" the soldier's voice was calm and intent "First, Kamiya Kaoru is to be given directly to Enishi"

Okita tightened his arms on Kaoru "I will do that myself"

"The second order, Kamiya Kaoru is not to be given to captain Okita…to you"

Okita narrowed his eyes "what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means nothing captain Okita, only that I have found the girl and I'm responsible for delivering her"

Okita tightened his jaw "you will do wisely to listen to me and leave this very moment"

"I'm sorry captain Okita, I can't"

Okita looked down, pondering for few silent moments. Kaoru could see that his eyes were sad now "then I'm sorry too" Okita said and he disappeared from the spot next to Kaoru and appeared right before the soldier. The soldier did not have the time to unsheathe his sword or scream as Okita's blade was driven through his throat.

"I'm sorry" Okita repeated ruefully and twisted his sword before pulling it out. The soldier fell down, dying immediately.

Okita turned and stared coldly at the other soldier, who was frozen with panic near the horses.

"Go" that was all Okita said and the man took flight, crossing the bridge and disappearing in the woods.

Okita sighed and closed his eyes, raising his head to the sky.

Kaoru remained standing on her spot, staring at him.

Finally Okita opened his eyes and sheathed his bloody sword before looking at her…

…and he smiled.

A small sad smile and that was all the reassurance Kaoru needed before she ran to him and into his opened arms.

"Oh…Okita…" Kaoru cried in his arms, she had never been so happy to see someone before, but other thoughts plagued her mind "the people…the town people are dying…everyone is…" she sobbed harder.

"Shhhh…it's all right, you're safe now" Okita tightened his arm around her waist and touched her loose hair with his free hand. Her hands were clutching his gi tightly, and Okita could see small burns on them. Her kimono was burnt in some places. He had no doubt that she had passed through the burning city.

What Okita wanted was to continue holding her and let her calm down but there was no time "Kaoru-chan," he gently cupped her face with his hands to make her look at him "we have to leave here" he wiped her tears with his thump, looking at her tired eyes "other soldiers will come soon, I will see you safely outside Kyoto"

Kaoru's wet eyes flickered momentarily to the dead soldier "I'm sorry, you had to kill you comrade for me" she whispered.

Okita's eyes soften "I will do anything for you Kaoru" _anything to make it up for what I had done. _He kissed her forehead and Kaoru closed her eyes. He would not let her fall in Enishi's hands again; he would protect her and Enishi had to go through him first if he wanted to get to her.

"Let's go" he held her hand and led her away from the bridge and into a narrow alley.

"Aren't we going out of Kyoto?" Kaoru asked, wiping her tears.

"Yes, but not using this bridge" he led her out of the alley and onto a main street "our main camp is there. And I can't walk close to the river, many of us are guarding the bridges" they kept walking straight, and Kaoru was afraid they would have to pass through the town again, the huge flame could be seen in the far distance "I was assigned the eastern border, we can go from there, however, we may have to wade the river, is that all right with you?" he looked back at her.

"Yes" Kaoru said, she would do anything to be out of Kyoto and…to Kenshin "Okita…" Kaoru hesitated, but she asked anyway "do you know anything about Kenshin?"

She felt him tense for a moment before resuming the walk normally "He wasn't killed or captured, that's all I know" he said darkly.

Kaoru did not say anything; this seemed all of what Shinsen gumi knew about Kenshin. But there was another question she had in mind.

"Did…did you fight him?" she whispered.

"No" Okita replied "but he has killed many of us"

Kaoru bowed her head and followed him silently.

They kept walking for sometimes, and Kaoru tried hard to keep up and not to fall. Exhaustion was overwhelming her and making her surrounding seem unfocused and blurry. But she kept pushing herself, for Okita's sake. He had gone through many troubles to help her; she would have to be strong.

They walked between two buildings and when they were about to turn, Okita suddenly stopped and pushed her against the wall. He pressed his body against hers and placed one hand over her mouth.

Kaoru did not realize what was happening until a group of Shinsen gumi soldiers passed near the opening of the alley. Kaoru's breathing was hard and deep, she tried to calm herself and breathe normally through her nose, but her heart was beating fast. She looked at Okita and he was looking at her too. He touched her hair gently with his free hand trying to calm her. It worked, Kaoru's breath started to slow and she closed her eyes, wondering if she could sleep for few seconds, standing up.

The voices of the soldiers disappeared and Okita removed his hand slowly.

"Sorry, Kaoru-chan" Okita whispered, but did not move away from her.

"It's ok…it's all right…" Kaoru closed her eyes and rested her head against Okita's right shoulder. When she felt herself being lowered to the ground she opened her eyes and looked at Okita, who settled next to her against the wall.

"What are you doing? We have…"

"We can rest for a while" Okita smiled "come," he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her against his chest "rest now" he said, rubbing her shoulder. Exhaustion was apparent on her, and Okita knew that she had been pushing herself since they had start walking. Sheer will was the only reason she kept going. Though he understood that any moment delay might endanger them he was afraid that she would collapse any moment.

"Okita-san" her voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm making you go through lots of trouble for me, aren't I?"

"No Kaoru-chan, I'm the one who decided to help and besides, they need me. Now more than ever"

Kaoru thought for few moments, and then she moved slightly to look at him "come with me, Okita"

Okita stared back at her with a serious expression on his face "I can't, I have a duty and," he looked away "I'm only doing this because I think using you is wrong" his expression changed, and Kaoru wondered what he was really thinking about "Innocent people should be protected not used"

"But it's dangerous, I don't want you to get hurt…especially not because of me"

Okita smiled, the serene bright smile which Kaoru loved to see "you're really so kind Kaoru-chan" he touched her hair "don't worry about me, I will be fine. More importantly we have to get you out of here" he stood up "I'm sorry we can't rest any longer" he offered his hand to her.

Kaoru shook her head as she held his outstretched hand "I'm fine now" she lied.

"And you are a bad liar, Kaoru-chan" he smiled and squeezed her hand gently before peering at the main street.

"It's all clear" he muttered to himself and started across the wide street.

But before they walked few paces some called.

"Captain Okita?" both Okita and Kaoru froze.

Okita turned slowly around to see who had called his name though he already knew.

Ten Shinsen gumi soldiers were at the other end of the street.

A whole squad.

Okita squeezed Kaoru's hand tightly, as he felt her tense beside him.

The squad began to approach.

"Captain Heisuke" Okita greeted the leader of the squad.

"Captain Okita" the old captain said, when he was near "how fortunate that you have captured Battousai's woman"

"Yes" Okita clenched his jaw, wondering how the hell the captain had recognized her so easily. Then he remembered that Heisuke was present when Kaoru had been brought before Kiyokawa-sama.

"Battousai has been seen around here. This should lure him out successfully" the captain said cheerfully.

"Then I will deliver her to the main camp and they will decide what to do" Okita replied calmly.

"But captain Okita," the other captain's tone remained casual but he narrowed his eyes at Okita "the main camp is on the opposite direction"

"I know," Okita's voice did not waver "I just need to see to see my squad on the eastern boarder"

"Ah, yes I understand. Then we will take her from here since we're heading to the main camp now" he ushered to two of his men.

Okita let go of Kaoru's hand and stepped in front of her "**I **will take her **myself** to the camp" Okita said between his clenched teeth.

"Now, now captain Okita," Heisuke smiled maliciously, making the wrinkles around his eyes deeper "this behavior is not befitting of someone of your rank"

"And you giving me orders is not befitting to your rank either. So leave now"

"I think not" he took a step toward Okita and Kaoru "we have been warned that you might refuse to surrender the girl, but I'm afraid that we are so close to complete victory that I can't indulge your youthful wishes. Seize the girl!" he ordered his men but before he could finish his order, Okita unsheathed his sword with incredible speed and killed the closest two men. Taking advantage of their surprised state, Okita managed to disembowel a third soldier before he moved to the captain himself.

The captain now recovered and pulled his own sword out of the scabbard "you kill your comrades for the devil's woman?" he spat as he deflected Okita's vertical blow.

"Retreat" Okita ordered, delivering another strike at the old man's shoulder "order your men to withdraw; I don't want to kill more"

"Take the girl, NOW!" the captain ordered.

Okita jumped away from the captain and at the same time drove his sword into an advancing soldier's heart.

Four soldiers were dead now.

"You can't beat me" Okita said as he blocked an attack from the captain.

"You are outnumbered, surrender" Heisuke took two steps backwards "we have been ordered not kill you as your skills are greatly valued, but we will capture you with the girl and you will answer to Kiyokawa-sama"

"You will not take her" Okita lunged at him, and this time he felt the other men moving behind him. Six men remained, including the captain. Okita was greatly outnumbered but he needed to take down the captain first.

"OW! Shit!" he heard a soldier behind him curse and Okita looked at Kaoru's direction, only to see her flinging rocks at the other soldiers.

One soldier was already on his knees, clutching his bleeding forehead.

Okita almost smiled, she was really special and brave.

_Kaoru…_

"Okita! Behind you!" Okita turned in time to block an attack aimed at his side by one soldier.

"Don't kill him!" he heard the captain shout, but Okita killed the soldier with one slash across his throat.

Five were down.

"Don't come near me" he heard Kaoru's voice and saw the captain approaching her.

"Kaoru!" Okita shouted her name and was about to run towards them but then it happened.

A coughing fit seized him and he dropped on one knee, coughing blood.

The accursed disease gripped him.

While he gasped and cough, he sensed a movement to his left. A soldier was about to attack him.

_I can't die…not now…_

…_Kaoru_

Still on his knee, Okita gripped the sword with both hands and plunged it deep into the man's abdomen. The man's screams echoed in the black night.

_I'm sorry…_

Six are down.

Okita rose slowly to his feet with the support of his sword. The three remaining soldiers looked at Okita fearfully.

Okita breathed in and out quickly as he looked at them with wild eyes.

"Why…" one soldier began "why, captain Okita, are you killing us? You are one of us, you are a Shinsen gumi soldier!" the soldier finished with desperate and confused voice.

A pained expression assailed Okita's tired features "I'm…sorry…" Okita breathed "but…I will…protect her…"

"WHY?" the soldier screamed and lunged at Okita with both hands raised above his head to deliver a vertical strike. Still panting, Okita moved his sword in a horizontal way, slashing the soldier's chest open.

"Be…because she…is innocent and I…" Okita now faced the remaining two soldiers, he was now gasping for air and blood ran down his mouth. The cool night breeze brushed against his cheeks and lifted his brown hair.

The two soldiers prepared to attack…

With a roar Okita lunged at them.

* * *

Kaoru kicked the captain hard on his shin, as she tried to break free from his painful grip around her neck.

"You wench" the captain backhanded her, making her fall on the ground "If you are not more useful to us alive than dead, I would have killed you"

Kaoru supported herself on her arms, as she tried to lift herself off the dirt ground. She shook her head, to clear the dizziness. She could hear a loud ringing sound in one ear.

"Now," the captain knelt beside her "you will be an obedient girl and AHHH!" he screamed loudly when Kaoru shoved a handful of sand on his face.

She scrambled away from him, but he held her ankle "you bitch…you bitch" he rubbed his eyes.

"Let me go!" Kaoru moved her legs and kicked his hand.

"I will kill you myself after Battousai is captured…" he rubbed frantically at his eyes.

Kaoru froze.

_This man will hurt Kenshin._

"I swear I will-" the captain did not get the opportunity to finish his threat, because Kaoru, spotting a big rock, gripped it tightly and bang it on his head.

"You will not hurt Kenshin!" and she hit him again with the rock and again and again...

This time he remained motionless as his white hair turned into red.

Kaoru stared at him for a long time, breathing deeply. Her blue eyes settled on the bloody rock in her hand and she immediately let go of it.

_I've killed a man_ Kaoru stared wide eyed at his motionless body. _But he was going to hurt Kenshin…he was…_Kaoru tried to banish these thoughts. This was not the time, Okita needed her…

Now her eyes moved around looking for Okita. She sighed in relief when she spotted him standing among the bodies of the other soldiers, his back to her.

He had killed them all.

Kaoru rose to her feet unsteadily "Okita you-"

"Kaoru-chan" Okita interrupted, without looking at her "do you hate me for having betrayed you before?"

Kaoru was confused by this question "of…" her voice was hoarse and her heart was beating frantically "of course not, I don't hate you…I never have"

"So I am forgiven?"

"I have never blamed you"

"Then Kaoru-chan, I'm glad…" he turned slowly towards her, smiling brightly "I have no regrets in my life"

Kaoru's eyes widened as he turned towards her and she gasped when he faced her fully. His chin was smeared with blood running from his mouth but this was not what had made her gasp. The right side of his gi –toward his lung- was covered with blood.

She took one step towards him "Okita…you're injured"

"No Kaoru-chan" he said, the smile still on his face "I'm killed"

And he collapsed.

* * *

"Okita!" Kaoru ran to him and went down on her knees beside him "Okita! Okita!" she called his name until he opened his eyes.

"Ka…Kaoru…" he blinked trying to focus his eyes on her "listen to me Kaoru…you have to reach the eastern side…"

"Don't speak, you will come with me…" Kaoru looked around "I will stop the bleeding…it's only a minor wound…I will look…" Kaoru was about to stand but Okita held her wrist weakly.

"No Kaoru…it's no use" he whispered, and Kaoru could hear strange noises from his lung "you…you have to listen…"

Kaoru touched his face and wiped his chin with the hem of her sleeve "you will show me the way…" Kaoru smiled, there was no need to cry, she told herself, Okita was fine…_he will be all right._

"Follow…follow this street and turn left…" Okita coughed and more blood ran down his chin "you will soon hear the river's sound…make it your guide…"

"Yes…yes but you don't need to tell me all this" Kaoru moved his head carefully onto her folded legs and touched his forehead "you will show me the way yourself…the bleeding will stop, I will try hard..I will…"

"Kaoru…" Okita's eyes never left hers "did…you he…hear what I've said? Can you find your way?"

"Please…Okita…" finally, tears pooled in Kaoru's eyes "please don't leave me…"

"Did you…did you understand what I've just said?" Okita insisted, looking directly into her glistening eyes.

Kaoru nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Okita closed his eyes, relaxing a little bit. But a coughing fit seized him and his whole body shuddered with the force of it.

Kaoru sobbed hard and stroke his forehead "Okita…I'm sorry…I'm sorry..."

Okita opened his eyes as the coughing abated "Kaoru…" he looked up at her for a while, feeling her tears dropping on his bloody cheeks "you're…you…are so beautiful" he managed to smile, a small smile. He raised a trembling hand and touched her cheek "I…have lied when…when I've said the reason…" he stroke her cheeks "…I'm helping you is…only because…because…I don't want you to be used…I...I…care about…you…I-" again a spasm of cough gripped his body this time stronger than before.

"Please Okita…what can I do? Tell me…please…" Kaoru placed her hand over his trembling one against her cheek as she wept.

"Meeting you…is the best…" his voice was becoming a mere whisper and the light in his eyes was dimming but he tried hard to keep looking at her "…thing…that has happened in…my life…" it was getting harder for him to speak and Kaoru saw the life flicker in his brown eyes "I'm so...glad…and perhaps…in the afterlife…me…you…" his heart gave up the struggle, his last breath was as quite as a candle flame blown out by a night breeze and his eyes lost the sparkle in them, they become unfocused and hazy, but they were now looking at the sky…forever at the sky.

"Oki…Okita?" Kaoru choked, his hand against her cheek became limp. Kaoru kissed his palm "Okita look at me…please…please…" tears poured down her cheeks and onto his face. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around him, bringing him close to her chest. She rocked him gently, kissing his forehead, stroking his hair.

Kaoru kept holding him while weeping. She did not want to leave him, she did not want to let him go. So she continued holding him close to her chest…

Close to her heart.

* * *

Kaoru cried and cried, for so long, she did not know for how long exactly. But she remained holding Okita, among the bodies of Shinsen gumi's soldiers until the sky was brightening. The whole world seemed grey at this time, colourless and bleak. Dawn was near. Her tears had already dried out, but she remained holding Okita's body. Kaoru lowered her eyes to look at him.

His eyes were closed, now closed forever.

She couldn't remember when she had closed his eyes.

Kaoru ran her finger along his cheek, he was so cold now. During the time she had been holding him, she had felt his warmth ebbing gradually. She lowered her head and kissed his brow. And fresh tears rolled down her cheeks when she looked at him again, silent tears.

He seemed at peace.

"Rest now, Okita-san" Kaoru lowered him gently to the ground "I will always remember you" she folded his arms across his chest and placed his sword between them. She had wiped the blood off his face long ago and now he looked as if he was sleeping peacefully. Kaoru stared down at him and bowed to the waist "thank you Okita-san…for everything and farewell" she remained in that position as her features twisted in anguish and the sobs started again. It was taking all her strength not to kneel down again and hold him in her arms.

She straightened her posture and turned to leave. She walked few paces before turning to look at him again. Although he seemed at peace, Kaoru did not want to remember him like that. What she wanted to remember was Okita's face with the bright smile which had always made her feel at ease. However, her eyes remained glued on him as if to remember every detail about him. She didn't want to leave, she was so tired of running, what she wanted was to lie next to him and hold him. But she had to go otherwise Okita's sacrifice would be for nothing. It was pure lucky that no other members of Shinsen gumi had passed by again.

So Kaoru started to walk. She walked leaving an important person behind, a great man, a great soldier…a great friend.

But she felt as if she was leaving a piece of her heart behind.

_Okita._

* * *

Oh god that was an awful chapter!! Okita!! I really hated to kill him, I think that's why I have been delaying this chapter for so long, I did not want him to die :( But Okita is sick so he's bound to die sooner or later…

Few more chapters and it will be the end. Poor Kaoru, she's really suffering and it's only the beginning.


	22. Shattered Love

Chapter 22 is up!!

One tiny warning: I kinda messed with history here

* * *

Chapter 22: Shattered Love

_The dojo was buzzing with the sounds of boys training with bokkens. _

"_That is not fair Okita" one boy moaned "you always beat us" _

"_I'm sorry, Shiba-kun" a 13 years old boy with kind brown eyes and sweet smile apologised "you left your shoulder unprotected" _

"_I will never have a match with you again" _

_Okita scratched the back of his head "how unfortunate, I really enjoy sparring with you" _

"_Yah, that is because YOU always win"_

_The brown haired boy smiled sheepishly. _

"_Now Shiba" a voice interrupted. Both boys looked at the newcomer "you shouldn't blame Okita for your own failure"_

"Saito_-sensi!!" both boys said at the same time. _

"_Don't be so surprised" a younger _Saito_ said "I have been watching your match" he eyed Shiba sharply "instead of complaining, you should train harder boy"_

"_Yes sensi!" the boy gulped._

Saito_ directed his sharp amber eyes at Okita, who smiled politely at him "you are good, Okita. You certainly have a future as a swordsman" _

"_Thank you, _Saito_-sensi" _

Saito_ seemed to think for few moments "why are you training so hard, Okita?"_

_Okita looked serious as he contemplated this. Then he smiled "because I want to protect what is most precious" _

"_And what is that?" _Saito_ urged. _

"_I don't know that yet" Okita continued confidently "however, one day I will know the answer and then I wouldn't mind giving my life for it" _

_

* * *

_At this time of the day grey was the most dominant colour. It washed away all the colours of the world and covered the atmosphere with its bleak colour.

Saito stood over the body of his once best student and valued comrade. He just stared down at him silently as the rest of the squad looked with wide eyes.

"How could it be?"

"Captain Okita...how..."

"Who could..."

"He killed Heisuke's squad" a strong voice echoed in the dawn.

Saito spared a glance toward the white haired man.

Enishi.

Enishi looked at each one of Saito's squad members in the eyes "you heard what Todo said" Todo was the man whom Okita had allowed to escape after saving Kaoru "Okita had killed the other soldier to save Battousai's woman" Enishi said this with obvious anger.

The squad look at the scene before them; they had no doubt that Okita was capable of taking a whole squad.

"No need to state the obvious, Enishi" Saito said calmly.

"She couldn't have gone far" Enishi said "send your men after her"

"Save your orders for someone who would actually listen" Saito replied "my men have better things to do"

Enishi looked fiercely at Saito before turning away.

_Damn you _Saito_, damn you Okita._

Kaoru had been so close, but that dead bastard had to interfere and ruin his plans.

Despite this Enishi smirked.

At least now he was certain that she was in Kyoto. He would send everyman he could master to look for her.

_You can't hide forever, Kaoru._

_

* * *

_

Saito looked with disdain at the disappearing figure of Enishi before looking again at Okita. He was in a resting position; it seemed the girl had put his sword in his hands.

"Captain Saito?" one young member of his squad asked "why would captain Okita do this?"

_Because he wanted to protect what was most precious _that was what Saito wanted to say. He chose not to, instead he looked at his men and some of Okita's squad, who were too shocked to speak.

Okita had been loved by his men.

"Okita Souji died as he lived" Saito said in a strong and steady voice "a swordsman, a fighter and a kind man who chose to follow his own path. I don't think, if you could ask him, that he would have any regrets" Saito looked at Okita's peaceful face.

"Always remember him with respect"

* * *

Darkness was everywhere, closing around her, engulfing her. Though her head was buried in her knees, she knew that all around her was black. No matter how far you look, how long you walk, it's all black. But this blackness, this emptiness was better than reality. She was tired, exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally. So it's better to stay here...alone.

_It's so quite...so cold...so lonely. _

While thinking those thoughts, the girl somehow realised that suddenly she was not alone, that someone was with her now.

Slowly she raised her head and looked up.

The figure standing there made her heart ache and her features twist in pain and sorrow.

"Kaoru-chan..." the figure smiled, the smile she always loved to see. She would have smiled back, if only guilt and agony was not gripping her heart.

"I'm sorry" Kaoru whispered, burying her face in her knees again. She could not bring herself to look at him.

"Kaoru-chan, please look at me"

"Because of me...you..." Kaoru felt the tears soaking the fabric of her kimono. Her arms tightened around her knees "forgive me..."

"Kaoru-chan, you have to move"

"I'm so tired"

"I know, but..."

Kaoru felt a gentle hand touching her head. The touch reminded her of how her father used to gently touch her head and ruffle her hair, and she couldn't help but to look up "Okita..." tears ran freely down her cheeks when her sapphire eyes caught his soft brown ones.

Okita touched her cheek "live, Kaoru-chan. If not for yourself, for me...live"

"But you...'cause of me...please come with me..." Kaoru murmured incoherently but did not move, she was afraid that once she moved an inch he would disappear.

"I will always be with you" he smiled gently at her and started to move away.

"No..." Kaoru whispered "don't leave..."

"No, Kaoru-chan, I'm not leaving" he shook his head "you're the one who's leaving"

Kaoru was aware that the blackness around her was melting, but she kept looking at Okita. He too was disappearing.

"No...don't..."

"Live" his smile was gentle, so sweet.

The blackness disappeared as did Okita, leaving her feeling emptier than before.

"Is she dead?"

"I don't know, but look at her kimono. It's all red"

"I think she's breathing"

"But she must be badly injured. Her kimono is soaked"

"And what is this scar on her neck?"

"It looks like a cross"

"Oh! She's stirring"

"She's opening her eyes"

"Don't worry, dear, we will take care of you"

Blue eyes looked with confusion at the two women staring down. The girl tried to speak but her throat was dry.

"Here drink some" blurry figure offered her something to drink.

The water which filled her mouth felt so good.

"Where...where am I?" the raven haired girl looked around her. She was lying down on her side on the ground. Her body was sore and rigid. She slowly pushed herself up.

"We were on our way to the shelter when we have just found you lying here in an alleyway"

Kaoru leaned against the wall and looked around, trying to remember what had happened last night. She looked down at herself and got her answer.

Tears welled in her eyes upon seeing her kimono which was covered in blood.

Okita's blood.

"Oh dear, are you in pain?" one of the women asked "don't worry, there is a physician near. But now let us see your wound..."

"It's not my blood" Kaoru whispered. The two women had to strain to hear her.

The women understood from her tears that someone close to her had died and Kaoru was thankful that they did not ask any questions. Her memories moved to the night before. After leaving Okita, she kept moving for sometimes, looking for the bridge. She remembered hearing the flow of the river near and following it. Once she had gotten near river she saw that the bridge was heavily guarded therefore, she decided to look for a point where she could cross the river without being seen and that's all she could remember. She must have collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

"I have to get out of Kyoto" Kaoru started to stand, using the wall to support herself.

"I'm afraid you can't" one woman said "Shinsen gumi are guarding the bridges, no one is allowed out of here"

Kaoru tensed and looked at the two women "there must be a way...I have..."

"Don't worry, young one. We can take care of you here" the other one said as she removed her own shawl and placed it on Kaoru's shoulders "Kyoto might be heavily damaged but there is a shelter near, many women and children are there. You will be safe there"

Kaoru hugged the shawl closer around herself, realising how cold she was. There was nothing much to do other than follow those two women. So they started to make their way to the shelter.

Kaoru's legs felt weak and shaky as she walked behind the women. Her mind travelled to last night's events, or was it this morning? It didn't matter. All she was thinking about was Okita. The memory of how his life had slowly ebbed away in her arms, brought tears to her eyes.

_Okita. _

If only he hadn't met her, he would have been alive now.

_And I let him down._ Kaoru bowed her head at this thought. Okita gave his life to help her escape Kyoto and there she was, heading towards the centre of Kyoto instead of away.

_I'm sorry..._

Kaoru offered this simple apology, hoping desperately that Okita would forgive her for causing his death and letting him down.

* * *

Once they reached the shelter, which was a large dojo turned into a refuge for women and children, they found a spot for Kaoru where she could rest for a while and brought some food for her.

"Sorry, this isn't much" one woman said as she placed a bowel of miso soup in front of Kaoru "the town is still in shock and the top priority now is rescuing and tending to the people who were burnt"

Kaoru shook her head "thank you that is more than enough" Kaoru was not hungry at all, but she had to eat...for her child.

Kaoru absently put her hand on her stomach.

"I will try to look for a kimono so you can remove the one you're in now"

Kaoru thanked her again "I'm sorry for troubling you" she wanted to do something to help instead of being a burden, but she doubted that she could do anything in her current state.

"Don't worry about it, now I will leave you to eat"

As Kaoru watched the woman heading for the door, she realised that she hadn't asked for her name.

* * *

Kaoru felt herself being shaken awake. Her lids fluttered open and for the second time this day, she saw two figures looking down at her.

"Actually, I didn't ask for her name," she heard the woman who had brought her food say to someone. Her surrounding was buzzing with the noise of women and children, which made her wonder how she had managed to fall asleep "but she has some minor burns which need to be looked after"

"I will take care of it" Kaoru heard a man's voice.

"I'm sorry we had to wake you up like this," the woman spoke to Kaoru now "but the kind physician is making a round on the shelters and I though he must see you before he leaves"

Kaoru nodded and started to sit. Her eyes met with the physician's who smiled at her but his smiled disappeared when he saw her kimono which had been hidden by a thin blanket.

"This is..."

"Not my blood" that was all she said.

The physician nodded in understanding and turned to his box. Kaoru saw a symbol on his box which seemed familiar. It was a red circle with an arrow on top. She tried to remember where she had seen it with no success. Her thoughts were interrupted when the physician grabbed her hand and started to apply some semi-solid substance on it. His hands were so callous and rough that Kaoru wondered if he practiced swordsmanship. But then again, in this era, most males were swordsmen. Her eyes took in the man. He was young, maybe in his early thirties, with a black hair held in a high ponytail.

"What is your name?" the physician asked as he started to wrap a bandage around her hand.

"Mizuki" Kaoru lied, just to be on the safe side.

"And I'm Saya" the woman said "sorry I did not introduced myself before, Mizuki-chan"

Kaoru smiled at her "don't worry about it"

"Is this a recent scar?" the physician asked, indicating her cross shaped scar.

"No, I had it for sometimes" Kaoru simply replied.

"I see" his black eyes lingered on her neck sharply before he started to wipe the blood off her neck "In any case I will bandage it because it seems to have recently bled"

Kaoru remained silent and allowed him to cover her neck. For a single moment the thought that his hands were kinda clumsy in bandaging as if he was unaccustomed to this task, crossed her mind. However, she dismissed it as ridiculous.

"I think my job is done here" he announced after a while "although your wounds are minor it is best if you rest for sometimes here, you look tired"

Kaoru nodded, thinking that she had to move soon, maybe tomorrow. The sun would be setting soon "thank you"

He smiled and nodded. Walking to the door with Saya, he glanced one last time at Kaoru before stepping out of the dojo.

* * *

Kaoru lied shivering under the thin blanket. The sun had already set and the temperature had dropped several degrees. Her position was somewhat far from the fire and nearer to the door. She wanted to move and get closer to the fire, but her body felt heavy.

_At least it's better than sleeping outside._

Kaoru huddled under the blanket and sighed. Her brain worked through ways of getting out of Kyoto. Shinsengumi must be roaming the streets, she had to move carefully. And most important of all she had to change her kimono which attracted attention more than she was comfortable with.

She looked at her bloody sleeve. She had used it to wipe the blood off Okita's mouth and chin. A stinging sensation was felt at the corner of her eyes and Kaoru immediately closed her eyes.

_Don't cry, not now. _

She urged herself to think of ways out of here. She could wait, Shinsengumi couldn't possibly hold the whole of Kyoto for many days, and eventually people would want to leave here, especially if their homes had been burnt to ashes. So tonight she could rest her tired body and tomorrow she would think find a way to leave Kyoto.

_But what if Kenshin is waiting for me?_

Kaoru's heart ached as she thought of him, or them. It seemed like forever since she had last seen them. She prayed with all her heart that they were safe and warm wherever they are which was the exact opposite to her condition as she would soon learn.

Just as she was drifting in and out of sleep, a loud banging on the dojo's door jolted her out of her drowsy state. She sat up just as the door burst open and two men stepped inside.

Some women gasped in surprised and children started to cry.

One was wearing the blue uniform of Shinsengumi.

She recognised the other as the physician, only this time he had a sword strapped to his waist.

"Here she is!" he pointed at Kaoru.

Kaoru immediately sprang to her feet.

The man in uniform stepped towards her, eying her bloody kimono briefly before looking at her face "how do you know that this is Kamiya Kaoru?"

Kaoru stared with wide eyes at him as her heart started to race.

"I saw the scar, in fact I had bandaged it myself" the physician said proudly.

"Do you want to be a _real_ physician now?"

As Kaoru heard the word "real" the symbol on the box this morning appeared mentally in her head. And she realised –too late- where and when she had seen this symbol. It was on the day Saito had attacked Sano in her dojo and left the box there. The box had had the same symbol and Kenshin had said that Shinsengumi soldiers used to disguise as medicine suppliers or physicians to catch the remaining Ishin Shishi's members.

This time they had caught her. Battousai's woman.

"What are you doing here?" Kaoru was brought out of her reverie by Saya's strong voice "this place is for women and children, soldiers have no place here"

The one in uniform ignored here and kept looking at Kaoru. He was a huge man with dark brown hair and small matching eyes "are you Kamiya Kaoru?"

Kaoru did not answer, she only glared at him.

"She goes by the name of Mizuki" the physician said.

"You are coming with us" the soldier said simply and put his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"I have no business with any of you" Kaoru said, looking directly onto his brown eyes "so leave me alone"

"Is that so?"

"Yes, she is not going anywhere" Saya backed Kaoru "she needs rest. So leave at once"

The one in uniform looked away from Kaoru and at Saya with cold and calm eyes. But all of a sudden, he backhanded the woman.

"NO!" Kaoru ran to Saya, who fell to the wooden floor, bleeding off her split lip.

The occupants of the dojo, who were whispering few moments ago, fell silent at this.

The man in uniform grabbed Kaoru, who was kneeling by Saya, by her upper arm and yanked her upwards. He wasted no time in tearing her neck bandage and inspecting her scar.

"Let me go!"

"Well, it looks like we have found her" he stated to his comrade "stop fighting girl or believe me next time I will use my sword"

Kaoru ceased her struggling. She didn't want anyone to be hurt because of her. Her eyes moved to Saya, who was still on the floor, looking dazed, and blood trickling down her chin.

"I'm sorry" Kaoru whispered "I'm sorry" and she allowed the man to lead her out of the dojo. All around her women were silent looking at her with pity in their eyes.

It seemed that there would be no rest for her, not even tonight.

* * *

The man's grip on her upper arm was painful, but Kaoru kept moving, trying to keep up with his long strides. Her wrists were tied behind her back tightly because earlier she had tried to escape but those two men would have none of that.

The 'physician' was walking a couple of steps ahead and both men were chatting about the war and some battles they had fought.

Kaoru wanted to fight them, to attempt to escape again. But she felt her spirit sinking with each stride.

_What is the use?_ She thought _even if I escape them where will I go? _Shinsengumi were everywhere and with her hands tied behind her she doubted she could do anything against them.

_You can kick the idiot who's holding you _a part of her whispered trying to lift up her spirits. But then what? The other soldier would lash at her and might even hit her. Kaoru didn't want to be hurt again. A bruise was already visible on her cheek from where the dead Shinsen gumi soldier had slapped her yesterday before she was saved by...

_Okita _

Thinking of him made her features contort with pain and her heart heavy with guilt. Okita had died saving her and here she was at the hands of the enemy again.

_I'm sorry Okita, I'm a coward..._

But what could she have done? There was a limit to what a human could take and she had been on the run since. A part of her whispered that she would just let herself be caught and be done with it.

_But Enishi..._

Even now far from him, she felt the fear closing around her. Enishi would hurt her and he would use her to hurt both Kenshins.

"...captain Okita was buried this morning"

Kaoru was brought out of her thoughts by these words uttered by the one who was holding her arm.

"Yes, I have heard that he had died after killing a whole squad by himself, or so they say" the black haired physician said.

"Captain Saito's squad had found his body. I haven't seen captain Saito like this before"

"What do you mean?"

"He actually seemed upset. You know, he doesn't usually show any emotions"

Kaoru was surprised at that. Saito_ and Okita? Were they friends? _She couldn't imagine Saito befriending anyone. Then again Okita was friendly and easy to get along with.

"From what I know, it had been captain Saito who recruited Okita" the fake physician said "what a loss; Okita was a special guy, being a captain at a young age. His squad are devastated"

Kaoru bit her lower lip at that, fighting back the tears. However, the next words the man said turned her sorrow into rage.

"He deserved it, the traitor" the man holding her snorted "killing his own comrades for a girl" he directed a disgusted side-glance at Kaoru before looking ahead again.

Before the physician could respond to that Kaoru stopped walking, making the bigger soldier stop and stare down at her "don't you dare speak about Okita this way" Kaoru glared at him "Okita died honourably, he died fighting for what he had believed was right"

"You think dying for the enemy's woman is honourable?" the big man looked intentionally at her blood stained kimono.

"And where is the honour in using a defenceless woman against your enemy?" Kaoru snapped back.

The soldier didn't reply but kept glaring at her, rage visible in his brown eyes "shut your mouth, wench" he finally said.

"Or what? Are you going to hit me like you did to Saya?" Kaoru spit back "you hit a woman then talk about honour. You should think again before talking badly about Okita because you could never be half the man he was"

"You..." the soldier shook with anger and he raised his fisted hand to deliver a blow to Kaoru.

"Now, now" the physician said, placing his hand on the other soldier's fist and lowering it "no need for this"

"I should teach the bitch to know her place"

"You certainly should. But not like this" the black haired man turned and smirked at Kaoru "well, I for one can see why Battousai would be attracted to such a girl like yourself" he reached a hand lifted a strand of Kaoru's loose hair "such a spirit...such a beauty..." he looked at her up and down.

Kaoru took a step backward, not liking to be close this impostor in particular. The way he was looking at her was creepy, she could put up with rage and anger but this...

"Scared now?" he kept smirking as he took one step closer to her and suddenly he gripped her arms and tossed her to his comrade "hold her for me"

The other soldier grabbed both Kaoru's upper arms painfully "let's see how brave you are now, wench"

Kaoru, understanding their intentions, started to struggle fiercely "Let me go!" she looked with wide eyes at the fake physician who was close now...too close.

"We have been ordered not touch you, but playing with you for a while won't hurt anyone"

"Don't tou...hmmm" the last word was muffled as the physician pressed his mouth hard against hers. Kaoru tried to kick him, but he suddenly placed his knee between her legs making Kaoru gasp against his mouth. His hands roamed over her body. Kaoru managed to turn her head sideway "DON'T!" she screamed but the man captured her lips again in a forced and bruising kiss. Feeling the helplessness of the situation, Kaoru started to cry. But those tears were tears of frustration more than tears of fear. She was tired of being used, tired of being weak and helpless, and angry that she couldn't do anything about it and being trapped between two men added to her fear.

"Stop...stop..." she cried as the man's mouth trailed down her neck and his hand grazed her hip "NO!" a scream was torn out of her throat when the man started to fumble with her obi.

And just then everything seemed to freeze.

Suddenly they were not all.

All three were still, especially Kaoru, whose glistening eyes had spotted a shadow appearing at an alleyway close to them.

She couldn't believe it. She thought that her eyes were deceiving her. After having bad things happening to her consecutively, it was hard to believe that good things could happen. Yet, if her eyes were deceiving her, her ears couldn't.

"Take your hands off her" A voice, colder than the blowing icy wind, echoed in the night. Though his voice was cold there was as underlying rage which was impossible to miss.

The black haired physician stepped away from Kaoru and turned to look at the man who spoke. His black eyes took in the newcomer. White hakama, dark blue gi and red hair resembling the colour of blood.

"Battousai..." black eyes met with golden eyes. The fake physician was caught in the fierce stare Battousai gave him.

_Don't be a fool, he is one man._

"Didn't think the bait would work so quickly" he smirked at Kenshin "but I'm in the middle of enjoying my time here"

Kenshin eyed him with a bone chilling stare.

The man felt unnerved by the way Kenshin was looking at him.

"Kill him" his comrade pushed Kaoru to the ground and stepped forward, folding his arms across his barrel chest "if you get one scar I will take over" he gave an arrogant half-sided smile.

The physician snorted and glanced briefly behind him "he won't even scratch me" he looked again at Kenshin and his hand went to his sword "your head will be a gift to Kiyokawa–sama," he unsheathed his sword "and maybe I can get to keep your woman in return" he glanced briefly at Kaoru before smiling maliciously when Kenshin charged at him "come and meet your death!" he braced himself to receive Kenshin's blow.

But the blow didn't come.

Instead Kenshin feined right, passing the stunned physician, and attacked the other soldier, who was few steps behind.

He killed him instantly.

The now dead soldier had not seen that coming, he had been waiting for the right moment to interfere with the fight and maybe claim the glory of killing Battousai. So he had been too stunned to move when he saw Battousai sidestepping his physician friend and lunging at him.

That had been the last thing he saw.

Kenshin had driven his blade right into the man's unprotected neck. He twisted the sword and pulled it free. For a moment his eyes met with the wide blue eyes of Kaoru, who was on her knees on the cold ground. But he turned to face the remaining soldier.

"You" Kenshin whipped his sword in the air to clear the blood off "had dared to touch my woman" he raised his sword and prepared to attack "your death won't be as quick"

The soldier stared with wide fearful eyes at his dead comrade and back at Kenshin. Cold sweat broke onto his forehead, his heart began to pulse loudly and a strange feeling settled at the bit of his stomach. Though his legs were shaking uncontrollably he lunged at Kenshin blindly.

Kenshin dodged easily and, with one move of his sword, slashed at his opponent's back, giving him a long shallow scar across his back. The Shinsen gumi soldier screamed but lunged again at Kenshin.

There was nothing more Kenshin desired than to watch this man suffer. He wanted to cut his limps off, one by one, starting with his fingers.

The very same fingers he had used to touch his woman.

_Kaoru. _

She was the reason he wanted to torture this scum, however, she was also the reason he couldn't. He wouldn't want her to watch that. So, as the soldier raised both hands to deliver a blow to Kenshin, leaving his abdomen unprotected, Kenshin slashed horizontally across his belly. The man's screamed pierced the night as his guts spilled out and for few moments Kenshin watched him with cold eyes before plunging his sword into his heart, putting him out of his pitiful existence.

Then silence settled upon the gory scene.

Kenshin immediately dropped his sword and run to Kaoru.

"Kaoru..." he said in a small voice "Kaoru..." he knelt in front of her and pulled her in his arms. His hands went behind her, untying the rough rope around her wrists.

Kaoru, who was too shocked to speak, raised her trembling hands slowly to his face, touching it gently.

Kenshin kissed her hands and fingers and he leaned towards her and started to kiss her tear stained face. He buried his hand in her loose raven hair and kissed her cheeks, eyelids and mouth. All this he did so gently as if afraid she would disappear.

To say that last few days were a torture was an underestimation. Arriving at the inn and seeing it burned to the ground. Not knowing where Kaoru was, whether she had made it to safety or been captured or worse...

Kenshin cupped her face and kissed her again.

"Kaoru..." Kaoru detected fear and worry in his smooth voice. He broke the kiss and looked at her, his eyes were filled with concern "this blood" his eyes were on her kimono "did anyone..."

Fresh tears welled in Kaoru's eyes. She was happy reuniting with Kenshin after all this time but now, the fresh wound in her heart throbbed again as she remembered who had helped her through the most difficult part "oh Kenshin...I wish this was my blood..." she buried her face on his chest and felt his hands around her waist "Okita...Okita died because of me...he saved me and..."

Kenshin rubbed her back with one hand and tightened the other around her waist. Though he shouldn't be, he was glad that the stains on her kimono were someone's else. Still, he was surprised that a Shinsengumi member would give his life for Kaoru.

He remembered the guy Okita. And despite hating him before, he felt a great respect towards him for helping Kaoru.

Kenshin held her as she sobbed in his arms, muttering incoherent sentences about death, children, fire.

She seemed so fragile and breakable, as if the events in the last couple of days had been sucking the life out of her slowly.

As much as he hated to admit it.

The rurouni was right.

* * *

They walked close to each other. Kenshin kept his sword unsheathed in one hand and the other was looped around Kaoru. They moved carefully and stayed hidden in the shadows. Kenshin stayed away from the town, where the burns had been severe. Judging from Kaoru's burnt kimono, he concluded that she had passed the burnt city.

Kenshin looked at Kaoru.

She was looking at him too.

He knew that she was in some state of shock. She would suddenly look at him as if to assure herself he is here, that he wouldn't disappear. And she clung to him tightly and sometimes touched his cheek out of a sudden.

Kenshin leaned towards her and kissed her forehead.

He knew that Kaoru had been through a hard time in the previous day or two. Her hands were bandaged, her kimono was blood stained and tattered with burn holes and she had a visible bruise on her cheek.

Kenshin clenched his jaw and looked ahead, not wanting Kaoru to see the rage in his eyes.

His priority was to get her to the deserted dojo which he and the rurouni had occupied for the last few days. And then...

Kenshin didn't even want to think about it.

But he had given his word

For Kaoru's sake

Yet he felt tempted not to take Kaoru to the other Kenshin

"We are close now, Kaoru" he said, looking around, trying to distract himself from his previous thoughts "just a little more" he felt her nod silently. His arm tightened around her and brought her closer, wanting to give her some warmth.

As Kenshin scanned their surrounding he absently noted changes about Kaoru, physical changes. To a certain degree she seemed fuller as if she had gained few pounds; it wasn't as if she had become fat. But compared to the last time he had seen her –a month ago- she had certainly put on weight, not that he minded, she certainly needed those few pounds.

Kenshin sensed that she wanted to say something, he looked at her "it's ok, speak Kaoru" he said in a low voice.

Kaoru hesitated before asking "Kenshin...the other Kenshin, is he...?" she whispered.

"He is fine" Kenshin looked straight ahead again "you will see him soon"

_And he is going to take you away from me._

Unconsciously he brought her even closer to his body.

* * *

They arrived at the abandoned house where Kenshin had been staying for few days.

He steered Kaoru around the house, towards a storage house. They had been using the storage house rather than main house because they felt it safer, for if this abandoned dojo was searched, the last place the soldiers would look at would be the storage house and by then both Kenshins would have sensed their movements. And of course because it was concealed behind the main house and anyone who only searched the inside of the house would surely miss it.

Kenshin opened the door to the house and allowed Kaoru in.

At first the rurouni was too stunned to speak

"Kaoru!" the rurouni jumped to his feet and strode to her "oh Kaoru, I've been so worried" he took her in his arms and Kaoru allowed herself to be hugged. She was glad to see him again, glad that he was fine and unharmed. She rested her head on his shoulder. In his strong arms Kaoru felt safe and she realised how much she missed him, specially his warm and kind amethyst eyes.

She pulled away to look at his eyes but stopped when she noticed someone behind him.

Tomoe.

"Tomoe-san..." Kaoru whispered but Kenshin pulled away and started to examine her. He looked warily at her bloody kimono and was about to ask the obvious question when the younger Kenshin interrupted him.

"Kaoru needs rest" he gripped Kaoru's upper arm from behind gently and shook his head at the rurouni.

The rurouni, who had many questions to ask, remained silent. Not only because the other Kenshin indicated so, but because now after the excitement of seeing Kaoru again subsided, he saw clearly what shape she's in.

Her eyes said it all.

The younger Kenshin led Kaoru to one corner where a futon was laid unrolled.

Tomoe walked to Kaoru and both girls embraced before Kaoru spoke "Tomoe-san, the girls! Mizuki-san, how are...."

"Hush, not now" Kaoru was glad to hear Tomoe's calm voice again "I will tell you all about it later. There are abandoned kimonos inside the main house, you need to change" she kissed Kaoru's cheek before making her way out.

They all remained silent. It seemed strange, after all this time, to remain silent. All three had many questions, yet they remained silent for a while.

"Kenshin" Kaoru spoke suddenly, looking at the rurouni.

"Yes, Kaoru-dono?"

"Did you know a man called Okita Souji? I mean before, when you were in the revolution"

Kenshin looked puzzled for a minute "yes, I had fought with him. He was a great swordsman and an honourable man"

Kaoru nodded, and she seemed afraid to ask more.

* * *

Both Kenshins stood outside the storage house in silence. Tomoe was helping Kaoru to change and clean a bit using some water from the well.

The rurouni spoke first "why did Kaoru ask about Okita?"

"He had saved her yesterday" the younger Kenshin replied "that's all she has told me"

The rurouni contemplated this. Once again, Okita Souji saved Kaoru. He had died for her and Kaoru must be tormented by this. He had to talk to her. The rurouni knew that Okita wasn't supposed to die this year. But he hadn't been going to live much longer. From what he had heard, Okita Souji was sick and he would die in the year 1868, more than three years from now.

He didn't think this would help Kaoru at all.

_That's enough _

The rurouni clenched his hands into a ball at his sides "we will move in few days" he said suddenly.

The younger Kenshin remained silent, his back to the rurouni as the wind showered through his hair.

"You aren't going back on your words, are you?" the rurouni demanded "haven't you seen her? This bloody time is destroying her, Kaoru has seen enough" the rurouni was furious, not only at the younger Kenshin, but at himself. He shouldn't have left Kaoru and gone to the war. He thought he could help but Enishi had been smarter. Using a move that had already been used in the time the rurouni had fought in the revolution was a smart and unpredictable move.

Yes burning Kyoto was Enishi's idea, the rurouni was sure of that.

And Kaoru had been through it all. He knew that Kaoru was strong, or she was trying to be. He had seen her eyes glistening with tears but she hadn't shed any just now and with a few days of rest she would be almost fine. But at some point she would break, there was a limit to what anyone could take. And after the younger Kenshin had told him that he had found her caught by two Shinsengumi soldiers, the rurouni was certain that she had spent the last two days in the run. And she would still to need to continue running.

Enishi wasn't about to stop pursuing her.

That's why he had to take her away. He preferred away from this time, but away from Kyoto and this war would suffice if they couldn't go back to their time.

After they had entered Kyoto to look for Kaoru they had passed through the burning city, both Kenshins had seen the death and suffering, it wasn't that they were unfamiliar with death, but the death of the civilians and the innocents was different. And the thought that Kaoru might have seen it all saddened and angered the rurouni at the same time. Kaoru didn't belong here, after all what she had been through because of him in their own time, it wasn't fair that she should stay here and suffer because of the selfishness of the assassin standing before him. And Kenshin had made his opinion clear to him on the day they had seen the burning city.

And to his surprise the younger Kenshin had not argued back.

The rurouni wasn't sure why it was the case. The younger Kenshin would usually get angry at the mere mention of taking Kaoru away. Maybe it was the spectacle of the dying and suffering city or maybe because the assassin had been afraid. The rurouni had seen the fear in his amber eyes when they hadn't found Kaoru in the inn outside Kyoto and then in their usual inn in Kyoto. Not knowing what happened to her or the possibility that she might have been captured affected them both. But it was more obvious on the younger assassin. Who barely slept or ate in the last few days. They both had roamed the streets looking for Kaoru. But the assassins had been staying all night outside and not returning until the sun was appearing on the eastern horizon. And again, after few hours sleep, he would go and look for her, despite the dangers roaming the street in the light of the day.

"What if you can't return to your time?" the rurouni's thoughts were interrupted by this question.

"Then we would leave Kyoto and stay away from war, which you yourself can't do" the rurouni said "Katsura-san had asked you to hide until further notice. Sooner or later you will be called back. And you are going to leave her again because you can't abandoned your duty, you can't abandon Katsura-san, can you?" he asked the younger's Kenshin's back.

The assassin didn't answer. But the rurouni saw his shaking hand gripping the hilt of his sword tightly.

He too was suffering.

The rurouni sighed "I understand how you feel, but think of Kaoru. She had been through a lot" he added "and I will do everything I can to protect her"

The rurouni watched as the younger man abruptly let go of his sword and strode away from him. As he turned around the main house, the rurouni glimpsed his profile.

His face was sad.

* * *

Ahhh I have to take off a whole part becuse this chapter would have been 15 pages otherwise!!!

Anyway I hope you like this chapter. And I really miss Okita.

Please review and see ya.


	23. Understanding

Hi all!! Here is chapter 23 as a late Christmas gift!! :-D

One small warning: this chapter contains some adult themes not much though.

* * *

Chapter 23: Understanding

The small storage house was warm thanks to the small fire pit which had been found inside the main house and brought there. It was well after midnight. Tomoe slept at one corner on a warm futon while the rurouni sat leaning against the wall close to the door.

At the other corner the younger Kenshin sat looking over the sleeping Kaoru. He could tell from her troubled expression that she was having nightmares. Earlier, she had been murmuring words like: _the town, please don't die_. Kenshin had thought that maybe he should wake her, but soon she had become silent and in a deep sleep. But now it seems she was dreaming again. First she started to toss her head right and left while gripping the cover tightly until her knuckles became white. Her lips parted slightly, but no words were uttered and her breathing began to speed. Kenshin's hand reached out and was about to touch her cheek when she spoke "Don't..." his hand remained suspended above her face, first he thought that she was speaking to him but her eyes were closed "don't touch me..." now Kaoru started to writhe and the younger Kenshin could sense the rurouni looking "No...no...stop" she whimpered and Kenshin did not know whether she was dreaming about Enishi or that damned soldier from whom he had saved her hours ago.

"Kaoru" the younger Kenshin placed his hand on her shoulder "Kaoru" he shook her gently and Kaoru's eyes shoot open immediately. She was breathing hard and fast and looking at him with wide eyes. Beads of sweat glistened on her forehead and cheeks and her hair clung to her face.

"Ken...shin" she whispered "Kenshin" she repeated more urgently and grabbed his hand tightly "don't leave" she pleaded "don't leave me"

"Shhh, Kaoru" he whispered gently, brushing a strand away from her frightened face with his free hand "I'm not going anywhere" her hold did not lessen on his hand and he felt her trembling, while her wide eyes kept darting right and left. She seemed dazed and disorientated. After all she had only gotten to sleep two hours ago after washing and changing her bloody kimono. She needed more –much more- sleep but seemed afraid to go back to sleep. Kenshin wanted her to rest, fatigue and sleep deprivation would only worsen her emotional state, especially after what she had been through the last couple of days.

Kenshin looked onto her frightened eyes for a moment before propping his sword against the wall and removing the cover on top of Kaoru.

"What are you doing?" he heard the rurouni hiss under his breath.

"I'm helping her sleep" the assassin whispered as he lied next to Kaoru. He pulled her into his arms and made her rest her head against his chest. Sleeping fully clothes wasn't comfortable but Kaoru's was also in her kimono in case they needed to flee. He felt Kaoru pressing closer to his body as her breathing slowed and her body stopped shaking. He kissed her forehead and relaxed as he felt her even breathing.

The rurouni stared towards the futon, different emotions raging inside of him as a result of the two sleeping in the same futon.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes, resting his head back against the wall. _Am I jealous? _He wondered. Maybe that was half what he was feeling, the other half was rage. This whole thing was wrong. The idea of Kaoru and the younger Kenshin together was _very _wrong. He consoled himself with the thought that he would take Kaoru away in few days although he was worried about Kaoru's reaction. She would protest, he was sure of that. But he was acting on her best interests so he would take her away no matter what. He would force her if she resisted. And given her weak state, it wouldn't be difficult to force her.

He gave another sigh. The idea of forcing Kaoru to do something wasn't appealing, but if there was no other option he would use force.

_For her own good. _He assured himself. He wasn't doing this for himself…was he? Despite putting Kaoru's safety at first place, the thought of separating her from his younger self gave him pleasure.

One side of his mouth curved upward in a small smile. _How odd, I am deriving pleasure and triumph from winning over myself. _

_No it wasn't odd, it was wrong. _

He opened his eyes and stared at the other side, where Tomoe was sleeping. Meeting Tomoe again was like living a dream. After her death there hadn't been anything he wouldn't have given to see her again and here she was and yet he couldn't say what was truly in his heart. Although she was the Tomoe he had loved, her heart belonged to someone else. She was with them for the chance to see her loved one.

Akira

Kenshin didn't know what to feel about this, but he supposed that he was glad for her. Tomoe deserved happiness and if anyone could make her happy, it would be Akira. However, he wondered; had she been free, would he have remained with her? Would he have forgotten about going back? And what about Kaoru?

His eyes returned to the futon where the two slept.

Seeing Kaoru in the other Kenshin's arms gave him the answer to those questions.

* * *

Kaoru's eyes flickered open; she tried to banish the sleep off her eyes by blinking rapidly. For few moments she wondered where she was and what had happened, then everything came to her; Okita's death, the fake physician and his partner, Kenshin…

Her eyes felt heavy and her body was sore. She wondered how long had she been lying down. All around her was silent. Her body was facing the wall and she couldn't tell if there was someone else in the room so she turned and lied on her back, though it wasn't so comfortable to do so since her obi was still on.

Her eyes met with amber eyes of the younger Kenshin.

A small smile appeared on Kaoru's lips "Kenshin" she whispered sleepily as her hand moved to touch his.

Kenshin held her hand and squeezed gently "Kaoru" his face was expressionless but, despite her sleepiness, Kaoru noticed something in his eyes. They were soft and …sad as if he was hunted by something.

Kaoru retracted her hand and started to sit and Kenshin helped her to do so.

Without saying anything Kaoru leaned towards him and pressed her mouth to his.

Kenshin kissed her back gently, burying his hand in her loose raven her.

They kissed for a while before Kaoru broke the kiss and now their noses were touching and Kenshin rested his forehead against hers. Kaoru felt his sweet breath against her face.

He still seemed sad.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru whispered, her fingers touching his cheek gently.

"Nothing...nothing" he brought her hand to his mouth and started to kiss the tip of her fingers. And then he kissed her mouth again.

Kaoru hated to see that look on his face. It had appeared in his eyes once before but she couldn't remember when. She wanted to probe the matter further but knowing Kenshin, she was certain that he wouldn't say anything if he didn't want to. So she continued to kiss him as she felt his hands on her waist, gripping her tightly.

Kenshin planted soft kisses down Kaoru's chin and on her un-bandaged neck. She had noticed that something was wrong with him. His composure had wavered the moment he saw her sapphire eyes. Thinking he had only few days with her had shattered his composed mask. But he couldn't say anything. He had given his word to the rurouni that he wouldn't tell Kaoru until the moment was right.

At that moment Kaoru broke the kiss abruptly as they heard footsteps approaching. And then the door was opened and standing there was the rurouni.

He smiled when he saw Kaoru "Kaoru-dono" he remained standing by the door "I'm glad you're awake"

"I must have slept for long time" Kaoru smiled nervously "my body feels so heavy"

"And it must be starved, you had been sleeping for twenty four hours" the rurouni said cheerfully "I will go and help Tomoe with the food"

"I'm not that hungry Kenshin, don't trouble…" at that moment Kaoru's empty stomach rumbled loudly.

They were silent for a second and then blood rushed to Kaoru's face as she blushed furiously. In her embarrassment she turned to the younger Kenshin and hid her face against his chest while the rurouni chuckled softly. Even the younger Kenshin smiled at that and wrapped one arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him.

"I suppose that your body doesn't agree with you" the rurouni said, though the cheerfulness dispersed as he saw how the other Kenshin held Kaoru close to his body "I won't be long" he said before stepping out the storage house.

"How embarrassing" Kaoru murmured against Kenshin's chest, not noticing the rurouni's behaviour.

Kenshin kissed the top of her head "it's natural, you haven't eaten for a while"

Kaoru raised her head and looked at him "have you been eating? You seem tired"

"I'm fine" he replied and leaned down to kiss her.

Kaoru planted one kiss on his lips before standing up "I have to help them" she said as she looked at the door "I must have been a burden for last twenty four hours"

Kenshin remained silent, staring at her back. Then he moved close to her and hugged her from behind.

Kaoru was startled "Kenshin?" his hands were tightly wrapped over her shoulders.

"Don't say you're a burden" he whispered against her hair "you can't imagine how hard the last few days had been" he paused for few seconds "I'm glad you're here with me"

Kaoru's hands rose to touch his and she placed them over his trembling hands.

"I'm sorry"

Kaoru leaned back against him. She was glad to be near him, to be in his arms. After the suffering and pain she had witnessed in the previous day; the burning city, Okita's death, the fake doctor and his partner…she revelled in the safety of Kenshin's arms.

* * *

Later they were sitting in the storage house having a simple meal.

"Have you found the food inside the house?" Kaoru asked.

"No Kaoru-dono" the rurouni answered "Tomoe had been kind enough to go to town to fetch some food since she most likely wouldn't attract the attention of Shinsen gumi"

"I see" Kaoru said "what is the condition of the town? Are the people…"

"Many are leaving…or trying to as I have heard" Tomoe replied "Shinsen gumi are everywhere looking for any anti-shogunate survivors"

"It means we can't get out of Kyoto yet"

"We can wait few days" the rurouni said solemnly "I will try to go out at night to look for ways out" he lied because in reality he wanted the safest route to the dojo which connect this time to theirs. The rurouni's gaze flickered to the younger Kenshin who had stopped eating and seemed to be thinking.

"Why Himura-san, what if we could get a carriage to our destination?" Tomoe said.

The rurouni looked at her "that would be very helpful, but I doubt we could get a carriage at this time"

"I was speaking to one woman today, asking her if she knows a way out of Kyoto without alarming the soldiers" Tomoe paused "she mentioned this gentleman who has been helping some Ishin shishi members out of Kyoto because his son had died fighting against Shinsen gumi"

Silence settled upon the room as each of them thought about this.

Finally the younger Kenshin spoke "do you know how to contact this man?"

Tomoe stared at the assassin with her calm black eyes "I know how to find the woman"

And they started to discuss how they will be getting out of Kyoto or this was what Kaoru thought because in reality the other three, including Tomoe who had been told by the rurouni that he and Kaoru might not come with them out of Kyoto, were exploring ways of reaching the dojo.

* * *

Later before preparing to sleep Kaoru sat chatting with Tomoe.

"Do you know what happened to the other girls?" Kaoru asked. She and Tomoe were sitting on Tomoe's futon while the younger Kenshin sat leaning against the wall near Kaoru's futon. The rurouni occupied his usual position near the door.

"The majority have escaped the inn and I have met few in Hasuwa inn" Tomoe answered. Her thick black hair was free from her usual style and it cascades down her back in shiny waves. Kaoru thought she looked so beautiful, they didn't have bandages so Kaoru was too aware of her scarred neck "but some women whereabouts are unknown"

"Mizuki-san?" Kaoru asked, fearing the answer.

"Don't worry, Kaoru-chan, I have met her. She's fine"

Kaoru sighed in relief.

In his place near the door, the rurouni had a complete view of Kaoru. She sat on her knees immersed in her conversation with Tomoe. Kenshin noticed how her appearance was different from the last time he had seen her. She seemed healthier and fuller. It seemed that she had gained weight. He had not noticed that yesterday, for she had seemed tired and worn out, but now after plenty of sleep, the dark circles under her eyes had disappeared and all traces if tiredness had vanished. Kenshin thought that she looked very lovely. Kaoru raised her eyes at that moment and they met with his own.

She smiled at him before answering Tomoe's words.

Then a feeling that someone was watching him settled upon the rurouni and he was right for when he turned his head the other direction the other Kenshin was glaring at him with narrowed eyes.

* * *

The next day.

"Kaoru" the younger Kenshin shook Kaoru's sleeping form "wake up"

Kaoru sighed in her sleep and turned on her stomach, ignoring his calls.

The younger Kenshin was kneeling near her futon while the rurouni stood over them.

"She's sleeping too much" the rurouni said with amusement in his voice "it's past noon"

"Maybe she is still tired" the younger Kenshin said as he brushed her hair away from her cheek.

"She was fine yesterday"

The younger Kenshin shook her again "Kaoru"

Kaoru turned on her back and placed her arm over her eyes "let me sleep" she moaned.

"You have been sleeping for long, Kaoru-dono"

Kaoru moved her hand when she heard the rurouni's voice.

"Kenshin…" she blinked, she smiled sleepily "I have been sleeping for long, haven't I?"

"Yes you have" the rurouni replied "you need to eat"

At the mention of food, Kaoru's eyes brightened "yes, I'm very hungry!" she sat up immediately.

Both Kenshins looked at her with puzzlement in their eyes at her enthusiasm.

Kaoru noticed their puzzlement and smiled sheepishly "I…I been sleeping for long I guess I'm very hungry" Kaoru looked around, eager to change the subject "where is Tomoe?"

"She is in town" the rurouni replied "if she managed to meet the driver today we can move tomorrow"

The younger Kenshin suddenly stood up "I will bring lunch" he announced before moving to the door.

"Wait Kenshin!" Kaoru also rose to her feet "I will help you"

Kaoru went out after him.

The rurouni looked after them. Kaoru had been acting differently lately. She's never the one to be lazy; she always worked hard to provide for the dojo. Her excessive sleeping on the first day was to be expected, she had spent more than a day running from the Shensin gumi soldiers. But her eating habits…

Kenshin chuckle at that.

Kaoru had been eating for twice her usual amount since yesterday and it seems she was oblivious to her increasing appetite. He had first thought that her new attitude was because she was feeling better, however, he had noticed that she sometimes seemed lost in her thoughts with sadness evident in her eyes. He knew that Kaoru was still remembering what she had been through on the day Kyoto was burnt. Maybe she was even remembering that captain.

Okita

She was acting cheerful for them and he had no doubt that those sad memories would remain with her for as long as she lived.

The rurouni sighed.

Kaoru wasn't the only one who was acting differently. The other Kenshin's behaviour was different. To anyone who didn't know him he would appear the same, taciturn, reserved and withdrawn. But Kaoru, who understood him too well, had noticed the difference. She always asks if he was feeling ill or she would stare at him in away as if she was trying to look right into his soul.

The rurouni was glad they might leave tomorrow.

The sooner the better.

* * *

The night before their departure, they all went to sleep early.

"Why don't you lie down?" Kaoru whispered to the younger Kenshin who was sitting near her futon.

"I'm fine this way"

"But you need rest" Kaoru persisted "tomorrow…"

"Do you want to go for a walk, Kaoru?" he asked suddenly.

"Walk? Where?"

"Just here around the main house"

Kaoru found this strange, but she nodded. He had been restless all day and if walking would make him feel better, she would walk anywhere with him.

Kenshin helped Kaoru to her feet and they walked to the door. Tomoe was sleeping and the rurouni was leaning against the wall on his usual position.

His eyes opened just as they stepped out the door.

* * *

Kaoru shivered once they were outside. The night was cold and dry without any clouds in the sky. She stopped walking when she saw the moon.

It was red

Kenshin halted when he noticed that Kaoru was looking up the sky.

"The moon is the same"

Kenshin stared at her questioningly.

"It is the same colour as it has been the day we have met" Kaoru now looked at him and smiled.

Kenshin didn't smile. It was ironic that they should depart under the same moon.

Kenshin moved his hand and grabbed Kaoru's "let go"

He pulled her towards the main house and inside it.

It was dark in the corridors of the large house but Kenshin seemed to know where he was going. He stopped by a door and Kaoru noticed light shinning behind it.

Puzzled, Kaoru looked at the younger Kenshin but he only opened the door and pushed her gently inside by putting his hand at the small of her back.

Of course when Kaoru entered the empty room, which was lit by few candles, she understood his intentions.

Her heart was panging loudly against her chest when she heard him slid the door shut. She wasn't scared, after all she knew that Kenshin wouldn't hurt her, but she felt nervous not only because it had been a month since they had made love but because she feared he would discover her pregnancy now.

_Maybe I should tell him? _

_No, now is not the right time. _

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Kenshin's arm around her waist. He pulled her against his hard chest and his hand pulled at the upper hem of her Kimono.

Kaoru turned around and kissed him. His hand went to her cheek, caressing her gently. Kaoru would be a liar if she said she hadn't missed his gentle touch, however, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her reminded her of that day, the day when he had come broken to the inn after killing a man and his wife.

Kenshin pushed Kaoru against the nearest wall, he kissed her with passion and longing that almost seemed desperate and forlorn. His hand pushed her kimono foldings apart exposing her legs. He hooked one arm behind her hip and moved her leg around his waist.

Kaoru remembered that that night they drank each other with so much passion and yearning that she felt drained afterwards as if he had taken something from her.

But she slept contently in his arms. However, for some reason she had a feeling that Kenshin had not slept at all that night.

* * *

Next day

In the end they decided to walk. Well this was what the two Kenshins had told Kaoru. The rurouni and the younger Kenshin had already discussed their real plan. What they intended to do was walk to the dojo since it wasn't _that_ far. There was still a high risk of being spotted by Shinsen gumi but because most of the soldiers were centred at the heart of Kyoto or at the borders, they were willing to take this risk. The carriage would be used by Tomoe and the younger Kenshin to escape Kyoto if the rurouni and Kaoru succeeded in returning to their time, because going out of Kyoto would impose more risks. However, should the rurouni and Kaoru fail to return to their time, then they would take the carriage with the other two and then go their separate ways outside Kyoto. The rurouni had asked Tomoe if the driver could pick them from the house they are occupying now, but Tomoe had already asked him and he had refused because there were other refugees who want to escape Kyoto, so in the end they had come to an agreement that he would wait for them near an inn called Ichiriki inn which was half an hour away from the outskirt of Kyoto.

Of course this whole plan was unknown to Kaoru, or only part of it had been told. They had only told her that they needed to walk to Ichiriki inn to take the carriage.

So now the four were walking in the empty streets of Kyoto heading for the dojo. The streets were silent, for it was close to midnight. It was a cold but clear night and the almost full moon illuminated their surrounding so perfectly that they didn't need lanterns.

Kaoru walked beside Tomoe while the rurouni lead the way. Kaoru could feel the younger Kenshin behind them. They had been walking for a while now and to her utmost relief they hadn't encountered any soldiers. She hoped that they would reach the inn without any fight; she didn't want to see any of the Kenshins fighting specially the younger Kenshin who would kill to see her safely out of Kyoto. Kaoru glanced behind her and her eyes met with the younger Kenshin's sharp amber eyes. She smiled shyly at him, remembering their night together, but he only kept looking at her with unreadable expression before nodding curtly then he looked the other way. Kaoru's eyes remained on his profile for a moment before looking ahead again. She knew that he wasn't his usual self -well to a certain degree he was- but she attributed this change to the tension of their escaping attempt. However, as she was thinking those thoughts she realised something; their surroundings, the buildings all seemed familiar in a way. Had she passed here before? She was positive she had but couldn't remember when and why. She kept walking while contemplating this. These streets were quite far from the Ishin shishi inn where they used to live so she couldn't have passed here while running errands. She didn't know how long she had been pondering this matter but then suddenly she remembered.

_The dojo!_

Kaoru stopped walking.

"Where are we going?" she asked the back of the rurouni, who although had halted did not turn to look at her.

"We are going to Ichiriki inn" the rurouni said, his back still to her.

"But this way…" Kaoru started but stopped when she felt the younger Kenshin's hands on her shoulders from behind.

"Keep walking Kaoru" he said coldly while looking ahead even though she turned her head to stare at him.

"Kenshin…this…"

"Just keep walking" he repeated as he started to push her forward.

Nervousness and fear was starting to creep upon Kaoru. Now she was starting to realise that the younger Kenshin's strange behaviour was connected it to this…only she didn't know what exactly _this _was_. _But she was certain about one thing.

_They are hiding something from me_

And she had to know what.

Kaoru shrugged Kenshin's hand off her and moved to the side away from him and away from the other two.

"I'm not moving until you tell me where we are going" Kaoru said angrily as her hands fisted at her sides, the wind lifted her ponytail and several loose strands kept getting on her face "you are hiding something from me" her eyes which were fixed on the younger Kenshin moved to the rurouni "Kenshin…"

The rurouni turned slowly toward her.

For few moments Kaoru was speechless because of the way he was staring –or glaring- at her. His face was serious and cold as he was trying to detach himself.

"We are going to our time" that was all he said before striding towards her and gripping her upper arm tightly. Kaoru was so shocked by what he said that she allowed herself to be dragged. She looked behind her with wide eyes. First her eyes settled on Tomoe, who looked away sadly and then they moved to the younger Kenshin who wasn't looking at her. But she noticed that his mouth was set on a thin line and his jaw was clenched tightly and his hands were tight fists at his side.

"Wha…what do you mean?" Kaoru now stared the rurouni's profile; he didn't look like her rurouni at all. He looked angry and he didn't reply to her question "what do you mean we're going to our time? We can't"

"We will try"

There was a big chance that their attempt would lead to failure but what if they succeeded? What if she returned to their time now?

Kaoru glanced back at the younger Kenshin.

"I can't" Kaoru tried to pull her arm free, but the rurouni only tightened his hold "let me go Kenshin, I'm not going back…not now" she said desperately.

"I'm sorry Kaoru" the rurouni said solemnly without slowing his pace even though Kaoru was struggling to break free "please keep quiet"

"Kenshin please tell him!" Kaoru looked behind at the younger Kenshin. _Why is he silent? Why doesn't he stop him? _Kaoru's mind was frantic with these thoughts.

The younger Kenshin didn't look at her, he turned his head the other way and Kaoru could see him clenching his teeth. It was hard for him, she could tell and she now understood all the sadness and grieve she had seen in him the last few days. He had known all along that the rurouni would take her, yet he had kept the pain sealed in his heart. Kaoru couldn't help the tears streaming down her cheeks as she thought of him suffering. Now she looked at the rurouni "I can't go" she said in a choked voice.

Pain shadowed the rurouni expression as he heard her small voice "I'm sorry Kaoru-dono, it's for your own good"

Kaoru had no doubt that the rurouni wanted to protect her but he didn't know…they didn't know "you don't understand" she said louder now, trying to pry her arm free. It was starting to hurt her now because the rurouni, in all the tension, wasn't aware of how hard he was pressing on her arm "let me go, I have to…"

"We will arrive soon, please Kaoru-dono calm down"

"No! You don't understand I can't return now!" Kaoru summoned all her strength and pulled her hand free. Instantly she jumped away so that the rurouni wouldn't grab her again. Kaoru was breathing hard now looking at the rurouni, she saw him put his hand on the hilt of his sword and she had no doubt that he would knock her unconscious even if he had to carry her the rest of the way to the dojo.

Kaoru stepped away when he stepped towards her and then without any warning she said what she ought to have said from the start.

"I'm pregnant!"

The rurouni stopped moving and the younger Kenshin whipped his head towards her, looking at her with wide surprised eyes.

"Yes" Kaoru said through her tears "I'm pregnant" she gazed at the younger Kenshin "your child"

It seemed that time itself stopped as the four stood silent. No words were spoken. Tomoe knew before hand that Kaoru was pregnant. The rurouni was too shocked to speak, as for the younger Kenshin, his shock was of different kind.

He suddenly moved towards her. His steps were slow and hesitant. When he stopped before her his eyes travelled from her face to her abdomen. He extended his hand slowly and it was shaking with all the emotions he was feeling. Finally he rested his palm on her lower abdomen just beneath her obi.

"You…" it was the first time in his life that he felt too overwhelmed to speak "you are carrying my child?"

"Yes" Kaoru whispered, gazing at his amber eyes.

"How long?"

"I'm on my third month" Kaoru saw confusion in his eyes so she explained "I'm sorry, I have known since before you had gone to war but I couldn't tell you…I didn't wan-" Kaoru was interrupted when the younger Kenshin suddenly pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"I won't let you go" he buried his face on her neck. To think he was about to let got not only of Kaoru but of his child "not you…not my child"

"Kenshin…" Kaoru closed her eyes as tears slid against her cheeks. Her hands moved to his back as she hugged him. She understood that she had to go back, but for now she didn't want to, what she wanted was to be away from Kyoto, away from the trouble with the father of her child.

_What about the other Kenshin?_ A voice inside of her whispered and Kaoru opened her eyes and they met with the purple eyes of the rurouni. Their eyes remained connected for a while and Kaoru could see that he was hurt, and then he turned the opposite direction of the dojo.

"We are going to Ichiriki inn"

* * *

The younger Kenshin wouldn't let go of her hand. He insisted on walking holding her hand and in the other hand was his unsheathed sword. They had changed their destination and this would require them to be closer the outskirt of Kyoto where many Shinsen gumi soldiers roamed. Kenshin wouldn't take any risk, it was true that they glimpsed a soldier or two but they kept moving carefully using the alleyways rather than the main street so there hadn't been any fights.

Kaoru immediately noticed the difference in the younger Kenshin's demeanour. The sadness in his eyes had disappeared and he seemed animated, it seemed as if it's the first time in his life that happiness overwhelmed him.

"Are you tired, Kaoru?" the younger Kenshin asked for the nth time, he was suddenly very worried about her wellbeing after discovering her pregnancy.

Kaoru sighed "for the last time Kenshin I'm fine"

"Don't blame him for worrying, Kaoru-chan" Tomoe had been part of their conversation since Kenshin had started asking her countless questions about Kaoru and how she had been taking care of herself when he had been away.

Kaoru couldn't remember him talking this much. He was still himself as in reserved, alert and serious but he just…talked more. Kaoru would have been happy to see him like this but…

Her eyes moved towards the front where the rurouni was walking alone. He hadn't spoken a word since he had announced that they would be going to the inn. She had to talk to him.

Kaoru tugged at her hand "Kenshin please let go" Kaoru whispered while motioning with her eyes towards the rurouni.

The younger Kenshin's sharp eyes flickered momentarily to the rurouni before looking at Kaoru.

He didn't let go of her hand. After all the rurouni had made him suffer the last few days and it wouldn't hurt to get to him.

"Please" Kaoru pleaded.

The younger Kenshin looked into her eyes for few seconds before releasing her hand.

Kaoru nodded her thanks before walking to the rurouni. He didn't look at her as she caught his pace and walked beside him. Kaoru stared at his profile as she walked, remembering the first day they had met, remembering what they had been through together, how she used to crave his attention and then how she avoided him after what Enishi had done to her.

_Why does everything keep pushing us apart?_

She remembered his kindness and how he had entered her lonely life and changed everything.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin"

"What are you apologizing for, Kaoru-dono?"

"For everything…I keep hurting you" Kaoru said as she looked down.

"I wish I'm the one you're hurting, especially after all the pain I have caused you" Kenshin said bitterly.

"I have told you, I don't…" Kaoru trailed when Kenshin raised his hand to stop her.

"You are hurting yourself, Kaoru" Kenshin stared directly into her eyes "and I want to protect you from everything, including myself" he glanced briefly behind him before looking at her again.

"I know about your kind intentions but you more than anyone know that we can't leave here. Apart from…from…"Kaoru hesitated "from my pregnancy" she whispered "we can't leave Enishi to do as he pleases. We can't leave this time…not yet"

"It seems to me that you don't want to leave here at all"

Kaoru averted her gaze "I…"

"Never mind, Kaoru-dono" Kenshin stopped walking "but I want you to know something" he said in a loud voice now "if anything happens to you," although he was speaking to Kaoru he turned to look at the younger Kenshin "if you were hurt in anyway, I would take you away from here, be it this time or this place"

Both Kenshin kept glaring at each other for what it seemed to Kaoru a very long time. Finally the younger Kenshin spoke.

"If I failed to protect her, I would let her go"

"Don't decide…" Kaoru was about to protest the way they were making decisions for her when a sound was heard in distance.

They all stared toward north were the wide street bend to a corner to the left. Just as they turned, a carriage appeared from behind the corner.

The four were still far away from the approaching carriage.

The rurouni looked at Tomoe questioningly "is this the carriage?"

Tomoe squinted her eyes as she moved to stand next to the rurouni "the driver seemed like the gentleman I had spoken to"

"Isn't he supposed to come meet us at the inn?"

"We are close to the inn now"

"We shall find out" the rurouni said and turned to glance at the carriage.

Kaoru was close to the rurouni to his left while Tomoe was standing right beside him to the right. The younger Kenshin was few paces behind them.

"Himura-san" Tomoe said in her usual calm voice.

The rurouni tore his eyes off the approaching carriage and looked at Tomoe.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

The rurouni didn't even have time to be puzzled at her apology. All he saw was the moon light reflection on something smooth and shiny in Tomoe's pale hand before a sharp pain exploded across his chest.

"Ken…shin…" Kaoru who was close had seen it all. Everything had seemed to happen slowly. Tomoe apologizing, Tomoe's hand behind her, Tomoe holding a knife, Tomoe slashing across the rurouni's chest…yes it all seemed to happen in a slow motion but it reality it took only few seconds.

The younger Kenshin, whose attention had been on the carriage stared towards the trio when he heard Kaoru's frightened tone. He saw a knife in Tomoe's hand which was now dripping blood.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru screamed the rurouni's name when he sank on his knees. She was about to kneel beside him when the younger Kenshin pulled her by her upper arm and pushed her behind him. He gripped his sword tightly and was now facing Tomoe and looking at her with hostile eyes.

Tomoe didn't bother to look at them, she was looking down on the rurouni "I'm sorry, Himura-san" she apologized again "my grudge isn't against you but…" she raised her head and looked to her right where the carriage had just come to a stop ten paces away from their group.

Both doors of the carriage were opened suddenly. Three Shinsen gumi soldiers appeared from one door while from the other emerged a tall man wearing black cloak. He pushed his hood down as he leapt down the carriage, exposing his silver hair.

Enishi

He smiled as he approached Tomoe.

"I'm sorry I have failed in our initial plan" Tomoe apologized as Enishi came to a stop beside her.

"You have done well" he leaned over and kissed the top of her head "sister"

Kaoru, whose eyes had been glued on the rurouni, now stared with wide eyes at the two.

The rurouni managed with difficulty to rise to his feet, his vision was starting to blur but he had seen and heard Tomoe's and Enishi's exchange.

"Wh…what is the meaning of this?" he said between his hard breaths, while gripping his chest tightly. It seemed like a shallow wound, but why was he suddenly feeling so weak?

"Tomoe…" Kaoru whispered "you…"

Tomoe's eyes did not look at the rurouni nor did they spared any glance towards Kaoru, no, her black eyes, which were usually cold and expressionless, were fixed on the younger Kenshin. A certain emotion shone in them.

Hatred

"You have taken away my dearest love" she said calmly "it's only fair that I take yours…

…Kaoru-chan will be coming with us"

At that moment Kaoru's frightened eyes met with Enishi's and she saw all the cruelty and suffering he was storing for her the moment she was captured.

* * *

There goes chapter 23!! Before you all jump on me and say: _what the hell is wrong with Tomoe?!! _Be patient and wait for chapter 24. ^_^

I hope to end this fic on chapter 25 but I sometimes decide to add things at the last minute so you never know.

Anyway thanks for all those who have reviewed. I'm hoping to reach 600 reviews in this chap so please people make it happen!! XD


	24. Towards the End

Poor Enishi everyone is pointing their finger at him regarding Tomoe's betrayal. However, I can assure you that this is the only occasion when Enishi is free from blame…hehe more will be explained in this chapter,

Warning: You know how violent Enishi is.

* * *

Chapter 24: Towards the End

_The rurouni sighed as he made his way in Megumi's clinic. He was completely familiar with the clinic now, with every corner, every turn and corridor. _

_It was more like their home now. _

_It had been more than two months since Kaoru had been found in that island._

_And her condition hadn't been any better since that day. During these last two months she had always remained in this clinic, under Megumi's care._

_It had been hard on him since the day Kaoru had been snatched away from her dojo. Guilt, worry and self-loathing had been eating him alive; probably this was what Enishi had intended him to feel. Kenshin had thought Enishi would be content by tormenting him with Kaoru's absence. He had believed that there was some good in Enishi. That he wouldn't hurt Kaoru…innocent Kaoru._

_How wrong he was._

_Kenshin clenched his hands into small fists._

_Kaoru had been going from bad to worse, both physically and emotionally. Megumi was doing her best regarding Kaoru's physical state. But emotionally, no one was able to reach Kaoru. _

_Not even he_

_It seemed as if Kaoru didn't recognise them anymore. At first she used to cry at the sight of him or Sano and begged them not hurt her, no matter how much they reassured her that she was safe, that no one was going to hurt her. But it didn't seem to do her any good and the longer they stayed the more scared and restless she became. Megumi had advised Kenshin not to visit Kaoru while she was awake, but wait till she was asleep. _

_The rurouni stopped by Kaoru's door. She hadn't been moved to her dojo because her condition was still bad and she needed Megumi's attention regularly. _

_Kenshin bowed his head. _

_**What have I done? **_

_Anyone who saw Kenshin would notice how much he had changed in the past two months. He was suffering along with Kaoru. _

_**If only I haven't met her**_

_Those were his thoughts as he stood by Kaoru's door. He heard whimpering behind the door. _

_**Kaoru-dono must be awake**_

_He knew he must not see her but she was alone and he didn't want to leave her so. _

"_Kaoru-dono, it's me" he always announced himself, wanting to cause less fear for Kaoru "I'm coming in"_

_He entered the room and as always his heart broke to small pieces at the sight of her. Pain and sorrow shadowed his handsome features when his eyes settled on the thin form on the small bed. _

_He walked slowly to her. Her bed was at the corner furthest from the window, because she had been kept captive in an underground room for more than a month the slightest noise scared her. _

_Kenshin stopped by her bed, looking down at her with great sadness in his eyes. She was laid on her back; both hands at either side of her head were bound to the wooden bedstead above her head. Some would think it was cruel to bind her to the bed but it was less cruel than letting her bleed to death. _

_Ever since she had been brought here Kaoru wouldn't stay still. Whenever they left her sleeping in the small bed, they would come back to see her huddled into a small ball at the corner of the room, crying and begging not be hurt. Her wounds which are fresh would always reopen and bleed so much that they would wonder how she could still be conscious with all this blood flowing out. But Kenshin realised with anguishing pain that this was the condition in which she had been left in the underground room; bleeding, alone and scared. _

_Kaoru had repeated this several times that Megumi had decided that she should be restrained otherwise one day they would be too late and she would bleed to death. Kenshin had proposed to stay with her all time but Kaoru was not only moving away from the bed, but she also writhed and struggled while in bed, always screaming "not this! No more!" _

_Now Kenshin looked down at Kaoru. Her eyes were tightly closed and she was trying to move, pulling hard at her bound hands and her head was moving from one side to another. They had used some long white clothes to restrain her because the skin around her wrists was raw and broken from being bound by rough ropes or chains. _

"_Kaoru-dono, please try to sleep" he said gently but he noticed beads of sweat glistening on her forehead and she was breathing hard. Kenshin extended his hand and touched her forehead, dreading a fever. She had only recently recovered from a sever fever. To his relief her temperature felt normal. But Kaoru opened her eyes when he had touched her forehead. _

_Her blue eyes seemed so strained with pain that Kenshin felt afraid._

_Tears started to flow at the corner of her eyes "it hurts…it hurts…" she said between her laboured breathing. _

"_Where does it hurt, Kaoru?" Kenshin asked, his eyes scanned her form frantically. She was covered up to her waist and her sleeping yakata clung tightly to her writhing body as a result of sweating. _

"_Pl…please…" Kaoru breathed, tugging hard at her restraints "it hurts…make it stop…" she gasped suddenly and her back arched off the bed. _

_Kenshin immediately ran to the door and slid it open forcefully._

"_Go fetch Megumi-sensi now!" he said to a young girl, who was walking the corridor at that time, before going back inside the room. He went to Kaoru's bed where she was now writhing frantically and sobbing. Kenshin looked down at her with hopelessness. She seemed in great pain and he couldn't do anything to help. With every gasp and cry she gave he felt as of a knife was stabbed into his heart over and over again. _

"_Kaoru," he touched her forehead again "please tell me where does it hurt you?" _

_But Kaoru was still pulling desperately at the bed rails and thrashing on the bed "pl…please…it hurts…" and just then the cover slid down her body and the rurouni noticed something at her now exposed legs._

_Blood_

_Blood was covering her thighs, Kenshin saw with horror. _

_At that moment Megumi entered the room and ordered him out._

_Kenshin walked to the door and outside, trying to block Kaoru's cries of pain. He closed the door behind him and as he neared the wall he rested his forehead against it._

_He closed his eyes and suddenly punched the wall in anguished fury. _

_Kaoru_

_When Megumi stepped out of the room, Sano, Kenshin and Yahiko were outside waiting. They all looked at her as she closed the door behind her. Dr. Genzai was still inside with Kaoru, who was now silent. _

_Megumi sigh seemed distressed, she raised her hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose "I should have known...this is too much" she whispered "this is too much for her…" _

"_Megumi-dono," the rurouni spoke "Kaoru…"_

_Megumi sighed again and stared at Kenshin "she…" she began but then looked uncertainly at Yahiko._

_Anger appeared on Yahiko's face "don't treat me as a child. I'm Kaoru's friend I have the right to know what is wrong with her" _

_Megumi stared at him for few seconds before bowing her head "Kaoru is…or was pregnant" she said in a low voice "she just had a miscarriage" _

_Kenshin had expected that the moment he saw the blood between Kaoru's legs, but why does it still hurt so much to hear? He closed his eyes as if to hide the pain he felt. He heard Sano cursing._

"_We should kill him!" Sano said angrily "we should find the bastard and kill him!" _

_Yahiko seemed shocked. The Kaoru he had known and teased, who had scared the hell out of him in more than one occasion…. It was hard for him to see her like this. It was as Kaoru was dead. He stared at Kenshin, who suddenly stood up. _

"_Yes, Sano" Kenshin said in a chilling voice, his eyes which had been violet minutes ago were blazing cold now "we should kill Enishi for what he had done" _

_And he walked down the corridor, away from Kaoru's room. _

* * *

The rurouni gripped his wound tightly with a shaking hand. _Why am I remembering this now? Is it because of Kaoru's pregnancy? _The truth was; the moment he saw the way Enishi was staring at Kaoru, he knew that a similar thing to what she had been through after her rescue would be repeated if she was captured now. And he doubted that Kaoru could survive another trauma.

"Enishi…" the rurouni voice tore Enishi's eyes off Kaoru "stop your childish plays, what lies have you fed to Tomoe?"

Enishi looked at him up and down "you're still standing?" he said with contempt "this time it doesn't concern you, but if you must know, I haven't lied to my sister" Enishi placed one hand on Tomoe's shoulder "she had seen it all, she had experienced the pain all because of that assassin" Enishi jerked his head towards the younger Kenshin, who held his sword up, ready to defend Kaoru.

"What…" the rurouni started but was interrupted by Tomoe.

"He is talking about my Fiancé, Akira" Tomoe said and her voice sounded as if she was trying to suppress certain emotion.

"But Akira is alive!" Kaoru blurted "I had met him, he-"

"He's dead!" Tomoe said in voice that sounded so strange coming out of her.

Kaoru and the two Kenshins were shocked to hear this.

"Yes, he had died off his injuries before I had even arrived in Kyoto" her eyes glistened in the moon light, but no tears were shed.

Kaoru stared at her, unable to say anything. What could she say? How could she consol her? She couldn't simply say that Kenshin hadn't meant to kill Akira, because he had.

"You've said it yourself," Kaoru heard the younger Kenshin speak "I'm the one who had killed him. It is my life you should be after"

Tomoe gave a sad, small smile "but Kaoru-chan is your life" Kenshin's eyes widened at that "if I had learnt anything in my staying with you, is that you cherish Kaoru more than your own life"

The younger Kenshin's hand trembled as he held his sword.

"But Tomoe," the rurouni spoke, he took a deep breath to control his irregular breathing "you should understand that hurting an innocent person is wrong," he wouldn't allowed Kaoru to be used as a tool of revenge again "and Kaoru is innocent"

Tomoe looked at the rurouni and the hatred in her eyes disappeared "I'm sorry, Himura-san. It is you that I'm most regretful to hurt" she gave him a forlorn smile "but I believe in my right in revenge, and just as he had taken Akira from me, I shall take Kaoru-chan"

The rurouni's trembling hand moved to his sword "and I shall defend her"

"I wouldn't bother if I were you" Enishi smirked.

Kaoru now looked warily at the rurouni, alarmed by Enishi's words.

"So…" the rurouni breathed "the blade was poisoned…"

"Don't panic," Enishi replied "it's nothing deadly, but it's enough to weaken you for a while. Now," he took few steps in the younger Kenshin's and Kaoru's direction "come obediently, Kaoru and no one will get hurt" he stared at Kaoru, who was frozen at her spot near the younger Kenshin.

The assassin stepped before her "I will kill you before you touch her" and he lunged at Enishi, who stood calmly staring at him. One of Shinsen gumi soldiers moved forward and blocked Kenshin's attack. The younger Kenshin jumped back near Kaoru again as he understood their plan.

They had weakened the other Kenshin so that those three soldiers would distract the younger Kenshin while Enishi would go for Kaoru. He could kill those three easily but Kaoru would be defenceless for a time, and Enishi would use this time to capture her.

"It's useless to resist" Enishi said with a smile.

Kenshin tried to remain calm and think. Instead, he cursed himself for trusting that woman Tomoe, who now stood glaring at him with hatred and contempt.

"Kenshin!" the younger Kenshin heard Kaoru's cry, which was directed at the rurouni. He went down on his knees and was now panting for air.

"Stay near me, Kaoru" the younger Kenshin ordered her when he sensed her intention to run to the other Kenshin.

"I…I'm fine" the rurouni breathed.

"Don't fight the feeling." Enishi said amusement evident in his voice "Kaoru," he looked at Kaoru now "just come now and you will spare them both much pain" he extended one hand and smiled at the fear in her eyes.

"Don't…don't listen to…him" the rurouni struggled to stand and moved backward, stopping beside Kaoru "you...you have to run" he whispered in a low voice that Kaoru almost missed what he said "the alleyway, to the right" his tired violet eyes met the other Kenshin's golden ones, and the assassin nodded briefly before facing the three soldiers.

"I can't fight Enishi," the rurouni kept whispering "but I can delay him"

"But your…" Kaoru started.

"Just listen, Kaoru. Run and stay hidden" the rurouni stared at Enishi "NOW!" he suddenly shouted.

Despite her feelings, Kaoru ran towards the alleyway. Enishi made it to run after her but the rurouni blocked his way, his sword now unsheathed.

Meanwhile the younger Kenshin attacked the three soldiers. He tried to kill one of them. But, the three, as if had been given strict orders, only tried to slash at him before jumping away from his lethal strikes. They didn't seem to make an effort to kill him, they only toyed with him. Kenshin gritted his teeth. He wanted to go after Kaoru, if only they fought like men instead of this cowardly manner, he would kill them all in few moments.

Kaoru was just about to enter the alley, when Tomoe suddenly blocked her way.

"Move, Tomoe" Kaoru said as tried to sidestep the other woman.

"I can't let you escape" Tomoe kept blocking Kaoru's path.

Of course Kaoru didn't feel any fear towards Tomoe, but she felt pain as she remembered how Tomoe used to take care of her as sister would do. She had to move past her quickly, otherwise Enishi would come after her. Kaoru was about to push her out of the way when the knife in Tomoe's hand gave her an idea. As fast as she could, Kaoru lunged for the knife and managed it to pry it off Tomoe's hand. Thinking that Kaoru was about to use the knife, Tomoe backed away. But Kaoru had other thing in mind.

"STOP!" her voice echoed in the cold night.

All stopped fighting and looked at her. The younger Kenshin and the three soldiers were the furthest away from her, while the rurouni and Enishi were quite near.

Kaoru positioned the knife near her heart "your revenge involves taking me alive" Kaoru's hands were trembling as she stared at Enishi "I rather die than allow you use me again"

"Don't act foolishly, Kaoru" Enishi took a couple of steps toward her but Kaoru only brought the knife nearer to her heart.

"Don't come near me!"

The younger Kenshin was about to move and take advantage of Enishi's distraction when Tomoe's voice rang clear.

"She won't do it" she said calmly "she's pregnant"

Kaoru's eyes widened as she looked at Tomoe and she lowered the knife slowly "no…" she didn't want Enishi to know about her pregnancy and her fear was justified.

Just as she was about to turn her head towards Enishi a pain exploded at her cheek, sending her tumbling on the ground.

"You're pregnant!" Enishi shouted at her.

The moment Tomoe had revealed the news Enishi had punched the rurouni on his chest and moved so fast towards Kaoru, leaving the rurouni bleeding on the ground. Enishi had struck Kaoru on the face and was now looking down at her with evident fury.

"NO!" the younger Kenshin moved to run towards him but the soldiers blocked his way.

"You're pregnant!" he repeated and knelt down, taking Kaoru painfully by her upper arm "you whore!" he shouted at her again.

The blow had made Kaoru's head spin and her ears were ringing loudly, but still she heard him.

"Who's the father?!" he was so angry that he shook her hard by both arms, making Kaoru's head snap with its force.

"St…stop…" Kaoru cried.

"Who is the father?!" he bellowed and shook her harder.

"I'm the father!" the younger Kenshin's voice pierced the night "let her go…" his gritted his teeth and gripped his sword tightly till his knuckles were white.

Enishi glared at him and the crazed anger which shone in his eyes was unmistakable. He pulled Kaoru to her feet forcefully.

"Kill him!" he told the three soldiers and started to drag Kaoru towards the carriage.

"No!" Kaoru started to resist.

Tomoe picked up the knife and followed him, she looked down on the rurouni for few moments, with regret in her black eyes. The wound she gave him was shallow but the substance seemed to have spread and he lied unconscious on the ground.

"I'm sorry, Himura-san"

"Let me go!" The younger Kenshin heard Kaoru's scream as Enishi dragged her towards the carriage. In his fury, he lunged at the nearest soldier with all his strength and pierced his heart with his blade, then he hissed as he felt a sharp pain on his left shoulder. Nonetheless, he pulled his own sword off the dead soldier and whirl to the one who had injured him.

_Kaoru_

He tried to slash at his belly, but the soldier jumped away at same time the second one attacked Kenshin.

_Kaoru_

Kenshin blocked his blow.

_I have to kill them...for Kaoru_

He could hear her screams and cries, momentarily his attention moved to the carriage and his heart sank in desperation. Enishi was trying to force her inside. Kenshin's eyes moved desperately to the rurouni, but he was still on the ground.

"Kaoru!" he shouted as he charged at one of the remaining soldiers.

Kaoru turned her head towards the younger Kenshin, her wide eyes settled on him. Then they moved to the unconscious rurouni. She felt a pain on her upper arm as Enishi tried to force her through the door.

"Move" his voice was calm, but anger shone in his eyes as he stared down at her.

"No...no" Kaoru shook her head and clung to the edge of the carriage "I won't go with you!" Kaoru didn't know where she got her courage, but suddenly she kicked his leg hard making him hiss in pain. She shook her shoulder to free herself but Enishi tightened his hold and threw her by her upper arm against the carriage. Her back hit the carriage and Kaoru felt the air being knocked out of her lung.

"Don't make me hurt you Kaoru" Enishi said between his gritted teeth and grabbed her upper arms. He waited for Tomoe to get inside before he started to drag Kaoru inside.

"No...please" Kaoru breathed and started to struggle again but Enishi shoved her inside forcefully, making her head hit the back wall of the carriage.

"Let's go!" Enishi ordered the driver, his eyes connected with the younger Kenshin's wide eyes. Enishi smirked in triumph, his anger forgotten for a moment, before going inside and closing the door.

"Kaoru!" desperation but now evident in Kenshin's fighting.

"We can kill him" one soldier said to his comrade.

"Yes I've heard the order" the other said in anticipation.

Kenshin gave a loud cry and attacked the second soldier, who blocked Kenshin's blow and took one step back to thrust his blade towards Kenshin's heart. Kenshin deflect the offensive strike and because the soldier had come nearer than before Kenshin plunged his blade into the man's abdomen before retracting his sword easily. The man's scream mingled with the sound of the moving carriage making Kenshin whirl only to see the carriage taking off.

He stared with wide eyes "Kaoru!" he was about to run toward the carriage when a sharp pain burned across his back. In his fury and desperation he turned quickly to the one remaining soldier, who was about to bury his blade into Kenshin's spine, and slashed his sword across his throat. The man's eyes were wide, he went on his knees, chocking before slumping down on his side.

Then all was silent

Kenshin remained standing, his back bleeding, his left upper arm oozing blood and his shoulders moving up and down with the force of his breathing. He didn't want to turn, didn't want to see the void where the carriage had been standing minutes ago.

It was gone.

Kaoru was gone.

"Kaoru..." he whispered, bowing his head. He was assailed by violent feelings of pain that threatened to make him scream. He had failed Kaoru "Kaoru..." he said again, his eyes blinded by scalding salt. He curled his fingers tightly around the hilt of his sword, and with the last of his strength, abandoned control and raised his sword high in the sky, hacking at the bodies of the soldiers. The sound of flesh tearing and his accompanying howl of anguish pierced the silent cold night.

* * *

"Please, Tomoe" Kaoru pleaded "this is wrong, revenge will only bring more pain" she had been trying to reach Tomoe since her head had stopped spinning after Enishi had shoved her hard against the wall of the carriage, however, Tomoe was ignoring her, staring outside the window instead. Kaoru was sitting on one bench while Tomoe and Enishi sat on the one opposite to her. Kaoru could feel Enishi's eyes on her, but she tried not to look at him, to focus on Tomoe, who was still ignoring her.

Kaoru's eyes wander involuntarily to Enishi's direction and immediately wished she hadn't. Enishi was glaring at her with evident anger in his eyes. His posture was relaxed, arms folded across his chest, his body leaning back against the wooden wall. But Kaoru could read his eyes and understood that he was planning something. Her eyes moved frantically to the door.

_Should I jump? _

She could do that, but she had to be fast and choose Tomoe's side. Kaoru's eyes settled again on Enishi and all her hope of an immediate escape vanished. He seemed to have read her mind, for he suddenly rose, but had to bend, and moved over to her side. Kaoru felt herself stop breathing as he settled next to her. Instinctively, she started to scot over the far side of her seat but Enishi's strong arm looped around her waist and pulled her against his body.

"No..."

"Don't even think about it" Enishi said calmly, moving his other arm around her and trapping her in his arms.

"Let me go!" Kaoru pushed at him, afraid of how close her body to his. Her breathing pattern became irregular and she started to pant as she hit at his chest. However, she could have been hitting at a wall for all the effects she was having on him. Enishi's hold did not loosen instead he tightened his arms around her and pressed her head on his chest.

"No..." Kaoru began to cry as she felt helpless in his arms. She was scared of what he was going to do to her and worried about the two Kenshins, particularly the rurouni. But she was powerless against Enishi and eventually her struggling body became tired and she allowed Enishi to hold her, while tears ran down her cheeks silently. Her moist eyes met with Tomoe's. Kaoru searched her eyes for any evident emotion, pity, guilt, regret or even hate, but her eyes only peered at Kaoru with complete coldness as if she was staring at a dull scene.

Kaoru closed her eyes unable to bear Tomoe's emotionless eyes. Her hands lied limply on Enishi's lap, forced there by her position against his body. Kaoru tried to calm herself, to forget that she was trapped in the arms of the man she feared the most. She didn't know how she had done it but eventually she fell asleep listening to the beatings of Enishi's heart.

* * *

The rurouni was floating.

He wasn't sure if he was floating, but it sure felt that way. He wondered if he was dead at last. But a dull throbbing pain across his chest told him that he was still alive. The floating sensation started to ebb away and he was aware of himself moving though his legs were not.

He felt tired and his eyes were heavy, but eventually they flickered open and he saw houses moving.

The rurouni blinked several times.

Then he realised that his cheek was pressed against someone's back and he could smell a metallic odour, which was very familiar to him.

Blood

The rurouni moved his head slightly and saw the high red ponytail of the younger Kenshin.

He was carrying the Rurouni on his back

"You're awake" the younger Kenshin stated.

"Ah..." the rurouni breathed, he was surprised by the younger Kenshin's actions.

"You thought I would leave you to die" the younger Kenshin said without any emotion.

"I..." the rurouni paused to gather his breath "I wouldn't have been surprised"

"I see" that was all what the assassin said.

The night was cold and the red moon shone above. It was almost full.

The rurouni moved his head so he can have a partial view of the younger Kenshin's profile and he saw dry trails on his cheek.

He had been crying

The rurouni's eyes widened. In his dizziness he had forgotten the most important thing.

"Kaoru..." he whispered, but the younger Kenshin heard him for his face twisted in pain.

"I have failed her...again"

The rurouni closed his eyes and rested his head again on the younger man's back. He suddenly felt more tired than before.

"Why don't you say something?" desperation filled the assassin's voice "why don't you torment me? It's because of me...all because of me..."

"It's too late" the rurouni's voice was hoarse, his eyes partially opened "it's too late and I'm tired..."

The younger Kenshin didn't say anything to that and he continued to walk in the silent streets.

"You love her" the younger Kenshin spoke after a while.

The rurouni opened his tired eyes "yes...I love her" he replied and the younger Kenshin thought he wouldn't speak again when the rurouni said "for more than a year I have loved her, she has opened her house for me, not caring about my past and trusted me. After ten years of wandering I have found my home with her. But," the rurouni paused for a moment "but I had never told her how I felt, never even indicated my true feelings. I have always felt so unworthy of her. My hands are stained with the blood of thousands and Kaoru is innocent...yes she's innocent..." he trailed "and then Enishi appeared and ruined our lives...no Kaoru's life and she pushed everyone away, particularly me. A void was being stretched between me and Kaoru and we became strangers" another pause "yet here...in this time...I had done things I would have never dared to do before, I have kissed her more than once" the younger Kenshin tensed at that "and acted bolder with her. I haven't done anything like that before, but I guess I was...I was jealous"

"Jealous?"

"Yes, I was jealous and afraid. Jealous because for six months I had tried to reach Kaoru, to make her open her heart for me again and failed, but you...you in less than two months made her love you and surrender to you. I think I was appalled by how she had shown acceptance to you and seeing her with you had made me afraid...afraid of losing her. That is why I wanted to take her away. I might have been worried over her safety but a bigger part of me wanted her away from you because I couldn't stand to see you together, couldn't stand the way she looked at you, the way you touched her and kissed her...but I was too late, Kaoru loves you and now carries your child"

The rurouni was not surprised when the younger Kenshin remained silent, however, he was shocked at his next words.

"It's your child too" the younger Kenshin spoke calmly "you and me are one"

The rurouni was speechless; his eyes which were barely opened minutes ago were wide now. This was the first time the younger Kenshin admit that they were the same person.

"I love Kaoru" the younger Kenshin said "but I want to possess her, to make her mine and because of that I ended up hurting her several times. And on top of that, my selfishness had caused her to be captured again. All I'm doing is causing her pain. While you, you who had been with her for more than a year had waited, had given her time, had never pushed her" the rurouni couldn't see the other man's face but he had a feeling he was smiling bitterly "your love is what Kaoru needs...what Kaoru deserves. I don't deserve her"

The rurouni understood that he was not witnessing a sudden change. The younger Kenshin had felt that he had been hurting Kaoru since the war, that was why he had decided to let her go but Kaoru's pregnancy had tipped things over but now...

"If I had allowed her to go with you," the younger Kenshin continued "she wouldn't have been taken. But I'm selfish and now Kaoru has to pay"

Again silent settled on them.

"We...we will save her...together" the rurouni said after a while. However, as he said that, a feeling or maybe a premonition of something, something bad that was going to happen, gripped him, making him suddenly very tired. His lids grew heavy and he closed his eyes as darkness engulfed him.

* * *

Kaoru sat huddled on the corner of the room, head was buried on her knees. She had awakened a while ago on the bed that was situated on the middle of the relatively small room. Of course she had freaked out when she found herself on the bed but to her relief she was alone. She had tried the door but it was looked so was the single window in this western style room. She had knocked continually on the door, hoping someone would hear her but no one came and she wondered what kind of place was this. The only furnishings were a bed, which was big enough to hold two individuals and a high table with two chairs.

Kaoru wouldn't go near the bed.

So she sat on the corner, thinking of the two Kenshins and whether they were safe. She was afraid of what Enishi would do her. _Will he beat me? Or will he starve me?_ She panicked at this, thinking of her child. She was pondering this when she suddenly heard footsteps outside the room. From her position the door was on the opposite side and she instinctively jumped to her feet when door was unlocked and opened.

Enishi stood at the threshold.

Kaoru's heart began to race as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He had discarded his black cloak and was wearing his sleeveless top and dark blue pants. His muscular body had always scared her and as he took a couple of steps towards her she pressed herself against the wall. But Enishi stopped by the bed.

"How far are you in your pregnancy?" he asked suddenly, his eyes roaming over her body.

Instinctively, Kaoru wrapped her arms around her lower abdomen "I...I'm on my third month"

Enishi didn't say anything to that, instead he started to walk towards her again, making Kaoru's heart beat even faster.

"Don't..." Kaoru started to move, trying to put as much distance as she could. But, with a couple of long strides, Enishi was in front of her. He slammed both hands at either side of her head.

"Does that mean you had been pregnant when you were in Shinsen gumi' headquarters?" he leaned over her, trapping her "or maybe the last time I'd seen you at the dojo?"

"I...I don't know" Kaoru stared up at him, she wanted to look away or to close her eyes, but for some reason she couldn't look away from his angry eyes.

Enishi suddenly narrowed his eyes at her "you don't know, ha?" he started to straighten up, to move away "I wonder why?" he said calmly, more to himself.

Kaoru started to relax a little bit as he withdrew his hands. However, suddenly he grabbed her upper arms forcefully.

"I WILL TELL YOU WHY!" he screamed at her as he shook her hard "It is because you allowed Battousai to fuck you countless times, YOU WHORE!"

Fear gripped Kaoru and she began to struggle to break free, to be away from him "stop!" her hands fisted into balls and she started to hit him across his chest "let me go!"

"You're a real whore" he slammed her against the wall "but you belong to me, do you hear me?!" he dug his fingers into her arms as he shook her.

Kaoru, whose eyes were closed during his fit, opened them now and stared at him "no..." she whispered through her tears.

Enishi appeared to calm down when he heard her response.

"No," Kaoru repeated "I belong to Kenshin" she said more firmly "I love him! I love Kenshin and you can't change that!" even though she was crying, Kaoru looked directly into his eyes. Her breathing was loud from fighting him.

Enishi was silent, his eyes never left hers and Kaoru felt his iron grip on her arms relax, but he did not let her go.

Suddenly he released her arms and hugged her.

Kaoru's eyes widened when she felt him gather her in his arms and press her against his hard chest.

"I see," Kaoru heard him whisper against her ear. For a moment he inhaled her scent on her unbandaged neck before he spoke again "I see that I will enjoy breaking you again"

Kaoru didn't have the time to process this or even panic, for he suddenly pushed her again against the wall and pressed his mouth on hers. Initially, she remained motionless as he kissed her roughly. But then she felt his hands roaming over her body until he started to part the folding of her kimono. Kaoru kicked his leg as hard as she could with him pressing against her body, but it wasn't hard enough. Enishi pressed harder, crashing her body against the wall. His mouth did not leave hers and Kaoru uttered a muffled cry when she felt his hand running over her hip. Her hands, which were trapped between their bodies, fisted around the fabric of his sleeveless top, trying to push him way.

Enishi forced Kaoru's mouth open with his and explored her mouth with his tongue. Kaoru cried helplessly, feeling herself suffocating. But Enishi continued his molestations and squeezed her backside. Kaoru closed her eyes in desperation and humiliation at his touch. Abruptly he broke the kiss, but did not move away. He too was panting, but he smirked at the weeping girl.

"It's not over yet" he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bed, before pushing her on it "I will make you retract you words!"

"No!" Kaoru screamed when he moved on top of her and straddled her waist and started to resist. She delivered several blows and writhed beneath him "no, no" all those days of rape and abuse flooded her mind, making her fight him. But Enishi was stronger and angrier than he had ever been. He gripped her wrists and pinned her hands at either side of her head, immobilising her effectively, before he leaned over her and kissed her.

Kaoru moved her head sideways when she felt his mouth on hers "please...don't" she squeezed her eyes shut as he kissed her neck "I'm pregnant...I'm pregnant...please"

This angered Enishi more and he grabbed the upper hem of her kimono and tore it apart.

"NO!" Kaoru screamed and become hysteric when he started to push her legs apart with his knees.

"You will regret allowing Battousai to touch you" Enishi promised.

But just then the door was opened and Tomoe appeared at the door.

"Enishi"

Enishi was so angry and engrossed into what he was doing that he didn't even notice. But Tomoe walked towards the bed calmly and placed one hand on Enishi's bare arm, making him freeze on his position on top of Kaoru, who was panting and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Enishi, calm down" Tomoe rubbed his arm "you will kill her like this" Tomoe's black eyes flickered down to the weeping girl. Her hair was fanned over the bed, her legs were bare and the upper part of her kimono was parted, exposing her breasts.

Enishi started to straighten up from his position over Kaoru. His eyes moved from Kaoru to his sister.

"That's enough" Tomoe said, rubbing his arm gently "she's pregnant"

Enishi pressed his mouth into a thin line and he moved away from Kaoru, standing next to Tomoe.

"Not for long" he looked down at Kaoru angrily before walking away from the bed and out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Tomoe looked down at Kaoru, who was trying to cover herself with trembling hands. Tears continue to pour down her cheeks.

Tomoe sat next to her and started to help her adjust her torn kimono. But there was no pity or remorse in Tomoe's eyes.

"Pl...please don't let him hurt my child" Kaoru begged.

Tomoe didn't reply, her beautiful features betrayed no emotion.

"Please..."

"Just have some rest, Kaoru-chan"

Kaoru closed her eyes, understanding very well that Tomoe wasn't going to help her. She opened them again to find Tomoe near the door.

"Try to sleep" she said before going out the room and locking the door behind her.

* * *

Kaoru was lying on the bed. She did not know how long it had been since Enishi had tried to force himself on her. She had slept after Tomoe had left the room and when she had woken up she was still alone and no one had come since then.

Kaoru turned on her back and covered her eyes with her forearm. Despite sleeping for a while she felt exhausted, maybe it wasn't her body that was tired but her spirit. And it didn't help that she was very hungry. Her hand moved to her lower abdomen, rubbing it gently as if to sooth her baby. She hoped he wasn't as hungry as herself. Maybe he would feed on whatever was stored in her body, Kaoru thought this to alleviate her worry.

Time passed and Kaoru was dozing off when she heard a voice outside the room.

Kaoru sat up when the door opened again. To her relief it was Tomoe holding a tray of food. She walked silently to the table and placed the tray there before sitting on one of the chairs.

"Come here, Kaoru-chan" she said "you should eat"

Kaoru moved over the bed and towards the table, glad that Enishi wouldn't starve her after all. She settled on the other chair opposite Tomoe, which made the door behind Kaoru now.

"Thank you" Kaoru muttered before picking the bowel of rise and chopsticks. She ate silently, trying not to show her hunger, while Tomoe sat thinking. As Kaoru devoured her meal, she thought about escape. She could hit Tomoe with the bowel in her hand and bolt out the door. It wasn't locked, Kaoru was sure. _But what if I hurt Tomoe badly? _But dismissed this thought, thinking of her child. Her eyes moved to Tomoe, who was still lost in her own thoughts.

_I could do that_

But she couldn't, because at that moment the door was opened, making Kaoru tense. She immediately replaced the bowel on the table and sat rigid on her chair. She did not need to turn around to know that it was Enishi.

"Onee-san," Enishi said "please leave me alone with Kaoru" his voice was so affectionate when speaking to Tomoe.

Tomoe looked at him for a moment, as if judging his intentions. Then she rose off her seat "yes, I understand"

"No, don't..." Kaoru's eyes grew wide with fear, her back still to Enishi.

But Tomoe walked past her to the door and out the room.

Enishi closed the door quietly and walked slowly to where Kaoru sat trembling on the chair. He placed one hand on her shoulder.

"Come, Kaoru" he made her stand and led her to the bed.

"No, not again..." she froze on her spot but Enishi pulled her further and made her sit at the end of the bed and he sat next to her.

First he sat silently, not uttering a word or moving to touch her but then one of his hands sneaked around her waist, brining her closer to him and the other rested on her belly.

"Were you happy when my child has died?" Enishi asked suddenly.

Kaoru was shocked to hear this; she knew that _my child_ meant their child, the one who had died inside her.

Enishi continued "did you become big with it growing inside you?" he rubbed her stomach "or did you get rid of it so soon?"

"No!" Kaoru said, she raised her head to look at him "I hadn't killed my child, I was sick...my body was weak...I couldn't help it...I couldn't"

Enishi pressed his mouth on a thin line as he looked down at her "but I bet you rejoiced when it had died, yes I'm sure" he said more to himself "but," he cut Kaoru's protest off "it doesn't matter now, it doesn't" and he was silent again.

Kaoru stayed motionless, trapped in his arms. He didn't say anything for a while and one of his hands continued to rest on her belly.

"Soon I will kill Battousai"

Kaoru's hurt skipped a beat when she heard this.

"The one who had dared to touch you" he continued "as for the other one, I could have killed him yesterday, but I had only spared him for my sister. Her grudge is against the other one and I will do anything for her. And you," he now looked at her tears-filled eyes.

"I will take you with me" his eyes never left hers "I won't beat you or torture you…I promise, however, I won't let you go, even if I have to lock you up for the rest of your life. And if you resist," he leaned down and kissed her trembling lips softly "you know I have other means to break you" he muttered against her mouth.

Tears slid silently across Kaoru's cheeks, she was paralysed with fear as she imagined her future with him, a future where she would be scared and abused everyday.

"And," Enishi cut through her thoughts and he pressed harder in her stomach "don't even think for a moment that I will allow you keep this child"

"No..." Kaoru gasped when he pressed so hard that she almost felt as if he intended to kill her child with his bare hands inside her.

Then the pressure disappeared, instead he pulled her to his lab and caged her with his arms, pressing her against his chest. He wanted to take her now, to feel her naked body beneath his, to be inside her but he would wait, he didn't want his sister to hear her screams, he could be patient.

Enishi stroke Kaoru's raven hair and allowed her to cry against his chest. _Let her rest for a while, she would need it for the days to come. _

And he kissed the top of her head.

As for Kaoru she was not only crying because of the dark future that awaited her, but because in the end she couldn't change the past. Ishin shishi had lost, Kyoto had burnt, many people had died and Akira was dead and Tomoe had still approached Kenshin for revenge...she couldn't make any difference.

And the circle of hatred continued

* * *

I don't know if any of you remember but I had said before that Enishi is driven by something more than his revenge. Tomoe had been fanning his anger too, well so was his lust for Kaoru.

Next chapter is the final one!!! -cries- and I think I have decided which ending to write, and it won't be so happy :-(


	25. Her Existence

The end...

**Warning**: super-sad chapter

**EDIT 25.06.2011: Hello again, nice to see you all again. I know some of you were wondering whether I'm still alive...Voila! here I am! I am on the slow and painful task of editing Her Existence. I was so flattered by the PMs and fave-list adds I get and so ashamed of my grammer and typos -particularly in the first chapters of HE- that I decided to start editing. I believe that I am slightly better in my command of english compared to 4 years ago but alas! My english isn't perfect, but I will try my best. **

**Some of you might want to know about Midnight Wings, and I must say; no, I am not continuing the story, it's painful for me as I like it, but I think it's better this way. On a brighter note, I am working on another angsty anf gloomy RK fanfic, however since I have a career now, it is a slow process, but please look forward to it!  
**

* * *

Chapter 25: Her Existence

Kaoru sighed sleepily and flipped over on her back. She frowned as she felt brightness from behind her closed eyes. Her eyelids flickered open and blinked several time before she brought her hand to her eyes and rubbed them gently. Then she glanced around her. The sun rays seeped from the window, illuminating the room.

Kaoru immediately sat up, looking around.

A kimono was hanging at the further end of the room; a small table with two drawers was located to her right near the door.

She was in her room in her dojo, sitting on her futon. Her eyes travelled down her body and found that she was wearing her sleeping yakata. Suddenly her hand shot to her neck, feeling the smooth skin there.

_Smooth skin? _

There was no scar...no bandage

Kaoru let out a sigh of relief. _What a nightmare..._she thought as she started to un-braid her hair _but it felt so real, the torture, the sadness and despair._

Kaoru shook her head, trying to dismiss the long nightmare and rose to her feet.

_I better get dressed and prepare breakfast. _

Once she was dressed, she pulled her hair up in the usual ponytail and stepped out of the room. She made her way to the kitchen, where she could hear noises. Kaoru sighed in relief when she saw Kenshin inside. _See everything fine, everything is normal. _

"Good morning Kaoru-dono" Kenshin greeted as he sliced few vegetables.

"Good morning Kenshin" he smiled before going back to his work.

"I have planned make breakfast today, let me take over now" Kaoru said.

"No need to trouble yourself, Kaoru-dono, I'm almost done"

Kaoru shrugged "then I better go and rouse Yahiko" and she walked out of the kitchen.

As she walked on the porch the gate was opened and Sano strolled in lazily, hands in his pockets.

"Yu, Jou-chan!" he greeted.

"Sano," Kaoru smiled brightly, feeling more relaxed "you decided to wake up early"

"Didn't want to miss Kenshin's breakfast" he said as he perched on the porch, leaning against the wooden post.

"Kenshin is cooking!" a voice said from the other part of the yard. Yahiko walked towards them, with his bokken resting against his shoulder "glad I took the risk and woke up early, I would have been mortified if it was Kaoru's awful cooking" he slumped casually beside Sano.

"Shut up, Yahiko" Kaoru said angrily "since Kenshin has made breakfast I will be cooking lunch today. So if you have any problem with that, go and find your own food"

Both men paled visibly and looked at each other.

"You think we should go to Tea's?" Sano whispered.

"Yes, I don't want to die from poisoning, I'm too young" Yahiko whispered back.

Kaoru gritted her teeth and fisted her hands "you idiots! You better-"

"Oh Kenshin is done!" Yahiko interrupted her deliberately and rose his feet as Kenshin made his way towards them.

They all sat eating and chatting. Kaoru felt like a fool for worrying over nothing. Everything was normal. However, she kept glancing involuntarily at Kenshin as he talked with Sano.

_He's fine, why are you worrying? He was only injured in your dream. _

Despite repeating this in her mind, she couldn't help this sense of wrongness, the feeling that something wasn't quite right. _What happened after he had fought Enishi in her dojo? _Kaoru shuddered as she remembered him and touched her neck again, it was smooth and scarless so this means that she hadn't been kidnapped by him. Her eyes travelled to her own wrists, the skin was intact and flawless.

_You are being silly_, _no one had tortured you or..._Kaoru shook her head again, refusing to even think about what she had been through in her nightmare.

She glanced around at her friends, who were chatting and laughing with ease.

_They all here with me, they are fine. This is real and no one can take this away from me. _

Kaoru smiled now, pushing the dark thoughts and feelings away.

By the afternoon, Kaoru was alone in the dojo. Kenshin had gone to the town to get few things but he should be back any minute now so Kaoru was walking in the corridors of her house, heading for the front porch to wait for Kenshin. As she stepped on the porch, she noticed a figure standing by her open gate.

The sun was high in the sky, making it difficult to see properly in this angel. Kaoru squinted her eyes and shielded her brow with one hand to see better.

"Hello," Kaoru said as she stepped down the porch "can I help you?"

The figure didn't say anything but he took two steps inside her yard.

Kaoru stopped and looked at him.

The figure was wearing a dark hakama and a light blue gi. His brown hair was tied in a high ponytail and his kind and gentle brown eyes regarded her.

"Okita...what..." Kaoru froze. _What is he doing here_? _How do I know him?_ She had only met him in her dream and he had died. Kaoru started to panic _this isn't making any sense, something is wrong, what should I do? Kenshin..._

"Kaoru" Okita said gently "this is not real"

"What...are you talking about?" fear appeared in her blue eyes as she took a step back.

"This is not where you belong"

"No!" Kaoru shook her head "this is my home; this is where I belong, with my friends. This is my real life..."

"This used to be your life, Kaoru" he said and his eyes were filled with sympathy "you can't go back to this, things have changed...you have changed"

"No...no...I'm still..." she looked around her "this is real, Kenshin is coming any moment"

Okita shook his head sadly "nothing is real here, this is a fragment of your mind, you are trying to protect yourself from the harsh and cruel reality you're facing. But you can't stay here forever, you have to face your pain"

"There is nothing to face, it was all a dream, the time travel, meeting the other Kenshin and you and even being kidnapped and tortured by Enishi," she paused and her eyes lit for a moment "see" she lifted her hands "there are no scars, nothing-" Kaoru froze as he caught sight of her own wrists. Dark red circles were clearly visible on the delicate skin where she had been bound and chained before. And at the same moment she felt warm and wet liquid on her neck. With a quivering hand, she felt the skin on her neck and when she looked at her hand again, her fingers where stained red.

"No..." she whispered in a broken voice as she sank on her knees "no..."

Okita who had been observing her initial hope and then her despair with great sadness, moved towards her.

"Kaoru-" he started.

"NO!" Kaoru's hands flew to her ears "I don't want to go back!" tears were streaming down her cheeks "I don't want to be hurt anymore...please" she sobbed.

Okita's face was shadowed with sadness and pain for her. He knelt before her and enveloped her with his arms, trying to protect her even if it was for a short minute "shhh" he whispered as he rubbed her back "things will be alright" the scenery around them, her home, her dojo, the trees, the sun...all started to melt slowly and be replaced with darkness...nothingness. Okita tightened his arms around Kaoru, not wanting her to see her world crumbling around her "all will be fine" he whispered in a soothing voice "it will be over soon" his voice was sad now as he talked to the sobbing girl "yes It will be over soon...I promise"

* * *

"Kaoru, wake up" Kaoru heard Tomoe's voice "her scar is bleeding" Tomoe said to someone else.

Kaoru opened her eyes and saw Tomoe staring down at her with her usual impassive face. Kaoru blinked several time and when she focused she noticed someone standing behind Tomoe and staring at her intently.

Enishi

Kaoru started to rise from her lying position on her side. They had moved to the dojo which connected the present to this time and Enishi had made Kaoru sleep in one small room inside the main house. Now she sat on the futon, her back against the wall. Her hand rose to her face and she wiped the tears flowing down her cheeks. She had been crying in her sleep.

"I will search for something to bandage her neck" Tomoe said as she stood up and made her way to the door.

Now Kaoru was alone with Enishi, who was standing few paces away from the futon. She was still too lost in her dream to feel afraid, but Enishi suddenly moved towards her and knelt on her futon before her, making Kaoru jump.

"I guess I'm present even in your dreams" a small smirk was playing across his lips as he said that.

"Not this time" Kaoru said, trying to ignore how close he was.

Enishi raised an eyebrow "so what were you dreaming about?" he asked, curious.

"I..." Kaoru looked away, remembering her home, her friends, Kenshin and her old self "I dreamed that I was back to my home" she finally said "that none of this had happened, no pain, no torture. That I was the old Kaoru"

Enishi remained silent, studying her. She was fully dressed, but her hair was loose and little bit dishevelled. She looked beautiful but what caught his attention was the look in her eyes, it seemed as if she was still living her dream.

"How was it like?" Enishi asked "going back"

A smile -a very small smile- tugged her lips upward "it was like a dream"

Enishi stared at her sharply, she seemed somewhere else, possibly re-living her dream.

True. Kaoru was remembering how they sat together eating breakfast, chatting and laughing with no worries; they hadn't done that since she had been taken by Enishi.

_We were so happy_

Just as she thought this, a hand touched her cheek, making her jump again.

Enishi had extended his hand and was now caressing her cheek making her look at him.

"You can dream all you want," he said, looking directly into her eyes "but you will never go back there. I will not allow it" and he leaned over to kiss her but Kaoru instinctively turned her face, making his lips touch her cheek instead.

Enishi paused for a moment, before planting a soft kiss on her cheek "you can't turn the other way forever" he whispered "soon I will have you all alone, where no one can reach you and you know that you can't do anything against me"

"Kenshin will come" although Kaoru couldn't wait to see Kenshin, she was dreading that moment too. She tried to sound confident but she shivered as Enishi's breath tickled her cheek.

"Yes, he will" Enishi said as he pulled away slightly to look at her "and I will kill him this time" he said confidently "tomorrow you will watch him die" he smirked when he saw fresh tears rolling down Kaoru's cheeks.

"Please don't hurt him" Kaoru pleaded. She knew that it was the younger Kenshin who's coming tomorrow and he stood no chance against Enishi's strength.

Her pleading voice only made Enishi's smile deepen "I hope you haven't forgotten the most important rule I had taught you; if you want something, you have to give something in return" he leaned closer to her again, his mouth almost touching hers "kiss me and I will consider your request"

Kaoru's breath began to quicken, she wanted to pull away, to be away from him but her back was pressed against the wall. She couldn't move away. However, if there was anything she could do to spare Kenshin some pain, she would do it. So, with a trembling body, she closed the short distance between their mouths and kissed him.

At first Enishi responded slowly, nipping and sucking at her lips gently, then his kiss deepened and his arms sneaked behind her, pushing her against his body. As Kaoru felt herself being lowered on the futon, she glimpsed a figure by the door, and then it disappeared.

_Tomoe?_

This thought flew out of her head when she felt Enishi's hand sneaking between the fold of her kimono.

Kaoru turned her head to the right, breaking the kiss "no! You've only said a kiss"

Enishi lifted himself up slightly, he was on four on top of her, his hands pinning Kaoru's at either side of her head "indeed, I have said that" but he didn't move, instead he stared at her cross-shaped scar "this should have been healed long ago"

"It never has" Kaoru's heart was beating fast, afraid because she felt trapped in this position underneath him, so she tried to distract him by talking "it always bleeds when I'm stressed or...or if I remember my suffering during that time"

Enishi appeared to be thinking for several moments before he spoke again "You have never managed to forget what I've done" it wasn't a question.

"How could I?" Kaoru looked into his black eyes "the memories keep haunting me every minute. You have won, in the end everything went exactly the way you wanted" Kaoru turned her head the other way, unable to look at him any longer.

Enishi was silent for a while

"You think I have forgotten about you after the last day on that island, you think I have gone away and celebrated my success" he said "well, you're wrong, you kept haunting my thoughts too, constantly. I have sent many people to check on your condition for several months after I had released you. Even in the weeks you were captive, there was always this feeling that tormented me every time I entered that dark cell where I had locked you and every time you cry and beg at the mere sight of me. I wanted to let you go, to try to make things right before it was too late but for some reason I couldn't"

"It's because your revenge," Kaoru now looked up at him "because you wanted to hurt Kenshin, that's why you couldn't let me go"

"Yes, maybe that was part of the reason, but the other part was you" Enishi sat up and pulled Kaoru slowly she would be sitting before him "I kept telling myself I will release you the next day, but I just couldn't. Maybe it was lust, maybe obsession..." he paused, then stared directly into her sapphire eyes "maybe it was love"

Kaoru's eyes grew wide "no...love is not like this..."

Enishi surprised her by chuckling

"Yes, yes love isn't like this, normal people don't express their love by forcing their loved ones," he extended his hand and touched her cheek gently "but I'm far from normal, I know that. I have been through a lot, have seen too much since I was nine. Yes I have survived watching my sister die, survived the beating, the starvation in China, or at least my body has...but my mind hasn't" he paused, his handsome face appeared to be deep in thought "sometimes I think this is the only form of loving I'm capable of" his thumb wiped a fresh tear on Kaoru's cheek gently "Kaoru, Kaoru...crying for the man you had ruined you" he shook his head "you have always puzzled me"

Kaoru couldn't understand either, why was she crying? She felt herself being pulled against Enishi's muscular chest.

"I don't know how you do that" Enishi whispered "how you could retain your innocence and purity after all what I have done to you" he stroke her hair and kissed the top of her head "I don't want to hurt you anymore, but you should co-operate, you should accept the fact that you will always be with me starting tomorrow"

Kaoru didn't resist his touch, she didn't struggle in his strong arms, oddly she felt safe, she felt that this was how it's supposed to be.

_Maybe I should just give in, accept him..._

But why was she crying? Why was her heart aching so much?

* * *

"You should wait" the rurouni said weakly, as he lied staring at the younger Kenshin fastening his arm protector "you can't beat him alone"

"Waiting isn't an option" the assassin said calmly as he secured the other arm protector "he has clearly stated in his letter that I will never see Kaoru if I'm five minutes late"

The rurouni sighed and closed his eyes. He was lying on his back on a futon in the town's clinic. His chest was bandaged and his body was still so weak that he could barely walk. It had been only yesterday that he had regained his senses and today someone arrived bearing a letter from Enishi challenging the younger Kenshin. It was obvious that Enishi's victory depends on separating them. The younger Kenshin had a slim chance of defeating him alone. But there was little they could do. Enishi had planned well.

"You know that you can't defeat him by yourself" the rurouni repeated, opening his eyes.

"I have to try. Kaoru has been under his mercy for three days," the younger Kenshin fisted his hands "he might be hurting her as we speak"

"You might die" the rurouni pressed.

"If I die I will make sure that I take him down with me," the younger Kenshin replied and he looked down on the rurouni intently "and I trust you to take care of Kaoru" he finished with a nod.

The rurouni looked directly into his eyes "your death will only serve to hurt Kaoru, she won't forgive herself"

The younger Kenshin was silent for a while, and then he knelt by the futon suddenly "have she ever told you what she had been through in the month of her captivity?"

The rurouni looked at him, puzzled at the abrupt change of subject "no...never, she wouldn't tell anyone what had happened on that island. All we know is based on Megumi's diagnosis"

The younger Kenshin nodded "you have to make her speak. She had been carrying the burden of those memories and experience alone. I should have made more effort to make her share the burden. Now I have lost my chance, but you can help her to forget"

"Why are you talking like this?" the rurouni was truly puzzled, he tried to sit up but his chest hurt so much that he slumped back on the futon "you can't die, think of Kaoru"

"She is all I'm thinking about" the younger Kenshin said as he stood "I don't need to make you promise to take care of her and my child" he moved to the door "I know you will" he stopped by the door and appeared to be thinking deeply, one hand resting on the door's edge.

The rurouni sensed that he was hesitating but the younger man finally spoke "I have always wondered," only his profile was visible to the rurouni " whether I would live through the war and conflicts of my time, and this had prevented me from thinking about my future, about the kind of man I might become" he paused "but I certainly wouldn't have expected to be the man you are" he hesitated again, this time for a longer time "my jealousy has blinded me, I was wrong about you" now he looked at the rurouni, a small smile appeared on his youthful face "I'm glad to have met you" and he stepped out of the room.

It was the first time the rurouni had seen him smiling since he had arrived in this time.

* * *

"Am I clear?" Enishi asked Kaoru in a stern voice "don't even think about interfering"

Kaoru didn't look at him, instead she turned her head towards the open door. They were inside the dojo, the place where she had first found herself in this time, standing furthest from the door.

_Maybe he won't come_ Kaoru tried to lie to herself, hoping that something would stop Kenshin from coming _maybe Katsura-san has summoned him, his duty will be more important. _

"Ah!" Kaoru cried out when Enishi suddenly gripped her upper arms in a painful hold.

"Don't ignore me, Kaoru" Enishi almost hissed "I asked, am I clear?"

Kaoru could see the rage in his eyes, but she was more worried about Kenshin than Enishi's temper.

"Please, don't fight him" Kaoru tried pleading again "I will do anything"

Enishi smirked, releasing her "this time it isn't about you Kaoru" he said "I'm doing this for my sister" he glanced with a warm smile at Tomoe, who was standing near the wooden table where the names of many students were written.

"Please," Kaoru insisted, taking a step toward him "I will obediently go with you, I..."

"You're not going anywhere with him, Kaoru"

Kaoru froze when she heard this voice, the calm, cold voice. A voice she had longed to hear for days, the voice she had held to during the previous three nights huddled under the covers, fearing Enishi's visits. She turned slowly towards the door "Kenshin..."

The younger Kenshin stood at the threshold of the door, morning light outlining his figure. He took two steps inside, his eyes fixed on Kaoru. His sharp eyes swept over her figure, checking for any injuries, and noticed the stains of blood near her neck.

"Are you hurt?" Kenshin asked, his eyes narrowing.

"No...I'm fine...I..." she took one step towards him but Enishi held her arm and yanked her backwards.

"Not so fast" he said to Kaoru before facing Kenshin "so you have decided to come"

"Take your hand off her" Kenshin said in a chilling voice.

Enishi smirked at that "now, now, now I had done _more _than touching her" and he pushed Kaoru to the side before moving to stand in the middle of the training hall.

Kaoru stumbled, but managed to hold her balance "Kenshin don't fight him!" she said urgently.

"Too late now" Enishi said as he unsheathed his long sword "your life was forfeited the moment you stepped inside this dojo"

"I do not intend to back away; I've come here to kill you"

"You can try" Enishi said as he pushed back his glasses with one finger "I will enjoy spilling your blood"

"Woman!" Kenshin said, addressing Tomoe.

Tomoe looked at him with an emotionless face, but her eyes reflected her true feelings.

Hatred and loathing

"If I die, will your hatred be appeased?" he asked this question coldly, as if he wasn't talking about his own life.

"No..." Kaoru shook her head, her eyes wide.

"Yes," Tomoe answered "only then justice will be served"

"Then Kaoru should be released, your revenge will be over"

Enishi raised his eyebrow at this and Kaoru felt a chilling fear gripping her heart as she listened to Kenshin's word.

_He won't die...he can beat Enishi...he can_

"What is between my brother and Kaoru is none of my concern" Tomoe replied "I will not ask him to release her" her now emotionless black eyes were in contrast to Kenshin's furious golden eyes.

"Then," Kenshin unsheathed his sword slowly "you better be far away when I kill your brother" and he charged at Enishi.

Enishi leapt forward at the same moment, ready to receive Kenshin's blow. But instead of sweeping the blade in great curve, Kenshin lunged with it, trying to drive its point through the muscle of his left arm. Enishi dodged. He moved just as Kenshin whipped the stab towards his arm.

Enishi kept his gaze fixed on Kenshin's calm amber eyes.

"No matter how long you stall," Enishi said "you will lose. You're no match for me"

Kenshin hefted the sword in his right hand, flicked it forward to touch Enishi's blade, then he swung.

Enishi Smirked "I will play along with you" he blocked Kenshin's attack and swung at him forcefully.

Kenshin parried, and was pushed backward as a result of the sheer strength of the blow. He noticed that Enishi was counting on brute strength as he edged forward and swung blow after blow. It was as if his intentions were to rob Kenshin of his strength slowly.

Kaoru's attention was directed solely on the battle. She winced whenever Enishi struck at Kenshin. He was so strong and large that Kaoru found it hard to remain still. But looking at Kenshin eased her fear slightly. Although his eyes were sharp and calculating, His demeanour was calm.

Enishi dodged one of Kenshin's strikes. His sword edged toward the lunge, then he whipped back at Kenshin as he sidestepped. Kenshin made the same quick sidestep, so that each of them missed. Instead they clashed, chest to chest. They stayed like that for a minute before Enishi suddenly jumped backward two steps and thrust his sword at Kenshin's chest. Kenshin instinctively backed away and swung his blade.

"Got you!" Enishi smiled in triumph, and at the last minute swept his sword sideway and slashed at Kenshin's side.

Kenshin hissed as blood appear at his left side.

They both stood facing each other, their breathes were loud gasps of air

"Kenshin!" Kaoru made it to run toward him but stopped when Tomoe suddenly appeared at her side, knife in hand.

"Don't interfere, Kaoru" Tomoe said calmly.

Kaoru stared at the knife for few moments before her attention was pulled by the fight as Kenshin charged again at Enishi.

"Give up" Enishi said.

"Never" Kenshin swung a blow at Enishi, who parried easily.

"Then I will end this," Enishi said "now!" and he skipped forward so fast that for a moment Kenshin was startled, only a moment, but it was enough for Enishi.

He cut at Kenshin fast. Kenshin's blade met the cut hard and he saw Enishi draw back with a smirk before sweeping his sword in an almost vertical blow at his chest.

For a moment Kenshin didn't feel anything, then it hit. Blood spurted from a long cut across his chest and he fell on the ground.

* * *

The rurouni's eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up.

_Kaoru_

His eyes were wide and his breaths came laboriously.

_I have to go to her...I have to stop the fight_

He struggled to stand, his fever had gone down, but he still felt weak. He tried to put on his gi and yakata as quickly as allowed by his weakened state.

_I should have gone with him and...and what? Get myself killed?_

Kenshin shook his head, he didn't care; he just had to see Kaoru, to make sure she's ok.

* * *

Kaoru's leg could no longer support her and she was on her knees, staring with wide eyes at the bleeding Kenshin. Tomoe stood over her, knife in hand.

"No...Kenshin..." tears were streaming down her cheeks, making her vision blur.

Blood oozed from the long wound across Kenshin's chest. He had collapsed on his knees, gripping his chest tightly.

Enishi took his time walking towards him, sword resting on one shoulder "you are a fool," he looked down at Kenshin "you were dead the moment you stepped inside this dojo"

Kenshin didn't reply, his head was bowed and his breaths came in short loud gasps.

"In the end you couldn't save Kaoru," Enishi smiled maliciously "and I'm sure before you die you want to know what is going to happen to her" he confidently pushed his glasses back with his free hand "I will not torture her, but she will be in my bed for-"

Enishi's talk was cut short when Kenshin suddenly pushed himself up and punched Enishi on the face, making his shades fly off his startled face.

Kenshin glared at him with blazing amber eyes "you," he said through his hard breathing "will...not hurt her...anymore"

Enishi stared at him as he wiped the blood off the corner of his mouth "you can still move? Good I want you to suffer longer" he watched with smiling eyes as Kenshin bent over to retrieve his fallen sword.

Kenshin looked towards Kaoru, who was still on her knees. Panic filled her wide eyes, which were fixed on his bloody form.

"Kaoru, Kaoru calm down" he tried to reassure her "I'm fine" the wound was not deep; however, he was losing blood. But of course he wouldn't say that to Kaoru, she looked shocked and pale. He was worried...

So he smiled

"I'm fine" he repeated and saw her blink, he stared at her until she rose to her feet and she smiled at him too, though the fear was still obvious in her eyes.

He would do anything to protect her smile

Kenshin turned to Enishi, who had been observing them with amusement in his eyes.

"You are only prolonging both of your suffering" Enishi said "in the end you two can't be together"

Now it was Kenshin's turn to smirk "you're wrong" he said "I'm always with Kaoru, a part of me is already inside of her"

It took only a moment for this to register before Enishi's face twisted in rage "I will KILL YOU!" and he charged at Kenshin.

This time Enishi attacked with all his strength, he didn't hold back. He whipped his sword at Kenshin, and Kenshin dodged as Enishi had anticipated so with his free hand he slammed his fist on Kenshin's face, making him stumble backward. He heard a gasp from Kaoru, and for some reason this made him angrier. He charged at Kenshin again, not giving him time to recover and again punched him, this time on his stomach. Enishi could kill him now, he could see that Kenshin was becoming weak from blood loss and was whipping his blade blindly at Enishi. But he wanted to hurt him, to make him suffer, to appease his sister's hatred as well as his own, so Enishi continued to beat him mercilessly. At the same moment, he was remembering a certain snowy day, more than ten years ago. He was a boy, hiding in the woods looking as another Battousai gotten beaten by a shogunate. Enishi dodged one of Kenshin's blows easily. The day when Battousai's sword had cut his sister, killing her painfully. _Don't worry, your sister is alive, just kill this Battousai and she will be happy. _With a cry of rage Enishi delivered a direct punch on Kenshin's wounded chest, the blow was so strong that it pushed Kenshin several steps away from Enishi, before he fell on the wooden floor. Enishi stood motionless, breathing hard before he straightened his posture.

Kaoru felt her heart stop beating for a moment when Kenshin collapsed on the floor "No..." she took a step forward, Tomoe didn't stop her, a small smile was playing on her lips as she looked in Kenshin's direction.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru took another step but stopped when she saw him struggling to stand.

Enishi walked over to the struggling Kenshin and kicked him on the side.

Kenshin grunted and fell back on the ground.

"It's over," Enishi prepared to deliver the final blow "you die now"

"Kenshin, NO!"

* * *

The rurouni walked in the streets, he was struggling to remain standing, but he kept going.

_I have to go on, I have to reach her..._

_Kaoru_

* * *

_I have killed many people to create a brighter world for the common people..._

The younger Kenshin was standing in place filled with corpses. Everywhere he looked, corpses filled his view; he was surrounded by them.

_But my own world was dark and stained with blood..._

_I was losing my mind but..._

_A girl appeared in my dark world and became my light...my hope..._

_She cried for the burden I carry...shed tears for my sake..._

_And I hurt her..._

_I kept hurting her but..._

_She forgave me everything..._

_I didn't deserve her yet..._

_I couldn't let her go...I wanted to possess her...to keep her away from everyone..._

_I wanted to protect her but..._

_I have failed..._

_I'm sorry..._

_Kaoru..._

"NO! Kenshin" Kaoru crossed the distance between her and Kenshin in few moments, just when Enishi was about to drive his sword into Kenshin's back. Kaoru threw her arms over him, shielding him with her body.

Enishi stopped himself, his sword was few inches away from Kaoru's body.

"Move" Enishi said, barely suppressing his rage.

"No...I will not let you kill him" despite the tears, Kaoru stared at Enishi defiantly.

"Kaoru, I swear I will..."

"You have to kill me first" Kaoru pressed herself closer to Kenshin.

"Kao...ru..." Kenshin's voice was low and weak "move...I will...fight..." he was on his side and now he struggled to sit.

"No, you can't" Kaoru looked at him through her tears, he was so pale "enough, you have done enough...you can't go on"

"I'm sorry..."

Kaoru's eyes widen "no..." more tears flowed down her cheeks "I'm the one who's sorry..." Kaoru turned to look at Enishi and moved little bit away from Kenshin to do so "please, Enishi, you have taken everything from me, you have destroyed every happiness in my life...please, I beg you don't take him too"

Enishi seemed to get angrier by her words "I will kill him" he spat "and you will have no say in this matter" and he bent over and gripped her arm to move her away from Kenshin.

"NO!" Kaoru struggled "don't!" but Enishi pulled her up and then pushed her to the side, directly at Tomoe's feet, who had moved closer to them.

Enishi moved closer to Kenshin, who had managed to sit on his knees now.

"Want to look me in the eyes when I kill you?" Enishi smiled.

"NO!" Kaoru was sobbing uncontrollably and was becoming more hysteric, she looked up at Tomoe "please stop him" but Tomoe ignored her, looking satisfied at the outcomes of the fight. Kaoru paused, staring at the knife in Tomoe's hand.

_Kenshin..._

Enishi raised his blade to drive it into Kenshin's heart.

At the same moment Kaoru jumped to her feet, surprising Tomoe and snatched the knife off her hand.

"NO, Enishi!" Tomoe yelled.

Enishi stopped his strike and turned towards them...

...and felt a sharp pain in the middle of his abdomen area.

Enishi froze and looked down.

Kaoru had stabbed him on the abdomen, piercing a vital organ.

"I'm sorry..." Kaoru sobbed "I'm...I'm really sorry..."

Enishi's black eyes were wide with shock, not believing what was happening, then suddenly he smiled as he looked down at her, blood was starting to trickle down his chin.

"Kaoru..." his sword fell off his shaking hand and he touched her wet cheek before suddenly gathering her in his arms, making the knife go deeper inside him.

"You are and always will be too innocent..." he whispered "apologizing...to...me...I...to think...in the...end..." as he was starting to slide down, he looked over Kaoru's shoulder at his sister, the woman he had lived for, had killed for "nee-chan..." and he fell on the wooden floor, taking Kaoru down with him.

"I'm sorry...Enishi..." Kaoru repeated, she seemed on a shock as she looked down at his lifeless, open eyes. She felt a hand on her shoulder but didn't turn, she kept looking down at the man who had tormented her, who had ruined her life. The hand pulled her away from Enishi's corpse.

"Kaoru..." Kenshin said "Kaoru look at me, it's over" he cupped her face with shaking hands "it's over" he kissed her forehead.

"Kenshin...I...killed him" her eyes were wide.

"You did it for me, I would be dead if it weren't for you"

Kaoru wrapped her arms around him and clung to him desperately, her kimono becoming stained with Kenshin's blood. Over his shoulder she could see Tomoe leaning over Enishi's body.

She was crying

Kenshin pulled away slightly and kissed Kaoru on her mouth "you're safe now, you will be fine" he murmured.

Kaoru was glad to be in his arms, to feel his body against hers. Although he was shaking and weak his body would hold on.

"I love you Kaoru" he said as he helped her to stand

"I love you t-" Kaoru stopped when she heard a click, a very familiar sound and she again glanced over Kenshin's shoulder and her eyes become wide with panic.

Tomoe was pointing a gun at Kenshin's back

"KENSHIN NO!"

The gun's thunderous explosion echoed through the day.

* * *

The rurouni stopped.

_What was this sound?_

He was nearing the dojo and he heard an explosion, like a gun being fired.

_Enishi's gun _

Kenshin pushed himself and quickened his pace.

* * *

Kenshin shook his head as he pushed himself off the floor. Kaoru had pushed him away seconds before he heard the gun shot. Kenshin whipped his head to the side quickly, looking for Kaoru.

"Kaoru!"

She was lying on the floor, on her side, her back towards him.

She was not moving

_She's fine, she has just fallen _

He tried to reassure himself as he knelt behind her and gently turned her on her back.

"No..."

The front of her kimono was dark red, and it wasn't from his blood.

Kenshin felt his world collapsing as the blood stain on the middle of Kaoru's chest kept getting bigger.

The bullet had either pierced her heart or lung, either way, it was fatal.

"He's the only one who had understood me" Kenshin glanced over at Tomoe, who was caressing Enishi's cheek gently "he wanted to make me happy"

Kenshin looked back at Kaoru

"Kaoru, you will be fine," he moved to carry her "I will..." he stopped when Kaoru's eyes flickered open slowly.

"Ken...shin..." she whispered

"Yes Kaoru? I'm here"

"it's...it's so cold" she said weakly.

"You will be fine, I promise" Kenshin moved her carefully, so he can cradle her small body in his arms "me and you and our child will live together, no one will hurt you anymore"

Kaoru smiled dizzily, blood was starting to appear at the corner of her mouth "yes our child," her trembling hand moved over her stomach

Kenshin's eyes were wells of horror and sorrow as he held Kaoru to his chest. A sound escaped his lips, the sound of a soul at its utmost limit of suffering.

"I'm sorry Kaoru," tears started to pool in his eyes "I have failed you"

Kaoru raised her quivering hand to his face, touching his cheek.

Her skin was cold

"Don't...I..." her breathing began to slow "I...glad to...have...protected you...I..." suddenly she started to cough, her hand slipping down. Kenshin pulled her tighter into his embrace, closing his eyes as she bled her life out against his chest.

"Kaoru..."he whispered, his voice reflected his grieve "Kaoru..." he lowered her slightly to look into her eyes, they were beautiful sapphire, shining in contrast to her pale skin.

"I'm...sorry.." Kaoru whispered, for a moment sadness was all that he could see in her eyes "I wish...you...happiness...Kenshin" she sucked in three more laboured breaths, and then sighed out her life in Kenshin's arms, her eyes fluttering close and her head rolled to the side as her whole body became limp.

"Kaoru..." there was a change in the air, but Kenshin ignored that as he cradled her lifeless body closer "don't..."

_Kaoru..._

* * *

The rurouni stood frozen at the dojo's door, staring at the scene before.

"No..." he stepped inside slowly, his eyes fixed on the younger Kenshin as he cried holding Kaoru's motionless figure "no...it can't be...not her..." he went down on his knees, his eyes wide with disbelief. He bowed his head in despair, refusing to believe what he's seeing.

His eyes closed and as tears fell along his cheeks he felt things starting to change around him, they started to move so fast. And Kenshin suddenly felt like he was falling, he tried to open his eyes, but couldn't. Different sounds surrounded him, but the most dominant of all was the voice of a child's laughter. And then he felt himself being slammed at something...at nothing, before darkness overwhelmed him.

* * *

The moment he regained consciousness, the rurouni felt very fatigued. He strained to open his eyes and when he finally did, he saw that he was in a dojo.

Alone

He struggled to his feet and noticed that this dojo seemed familiar.

_Kaoru's dojo!_

Despite his weak state, he ran to the door and slid it open urgently...

And came face to face with Kaoru

"Ah!" she cried out and jumped away in surprise.

"Kaoru" he smiled and took a step towards her "I knew, you were all right...I'm glad" but his relief started to fade as he noticed her expression.

"Who are you?" Kaoru asked, she was wearing her training outfit and had bokken in one hand.

"Kaoru...it's me Kenshin"

"I...I know you look like him..." she seemed confused "but no! You're different"

"Kaoru!" a third voice echoed in the day and a moment later, the younger Kenshin appeared his hand on the hilt of his sword. He was still wearing his hair in a high ponytail, but his features appeared more mature.

He froze when he saw the rurouni

"Kenshin," Kaoru addressed the younger man "what's going on?" she looked from him to the rurouni, who was staring at his younger self with evident shock.

_What's going on?_

"Kaoru, I have-" the younger Kenshin started but was cut off when a fourth person appeared from behind the corner, coming from the main house.

A child

"Outo-san!" the child squealed happily and walked toward the younger Kenshin, stumbling every now and then.

He couldn't be more than three years old

The rurouni stared at the brown haired child as the younger Kenshin bent over and picked him up.

The child laughed loudly and clung to Kenshin before turning a pair of wide eyes on the rurouni.

"Outo-san!" he extended his hands towards the rurouni too.

"Ah, Kaoru," the younger Kenshin said "please take Kenji, I need to talk to this man alone"

Kaoru sighed and placed her bokken on the floor before taking Kenji off Kenshin's arms "alright, but you will tell me all about it later"

The younger Kenshin nodded "I will"

* * *

The rurouni watched as Kenji threw a ball at Kaoru and the child squealed happily when she caught it. He and the younger Kenshin stood on the house porch, while Kaoru played with Kenji in the yard. But she kept darting few looks towards them.

"This is not Kaoru" the rurouni said. Or she was Kaoru, but the one before Enishi entered her life. There was no bandage around her neck...no scar.

"Not the Kaoru me and you have known" the younger Kenshin replied. He glanced at Kaoru before looking at the rurouni "where have you disappeared to? I couldn't find you after..." he trailed "after that day"

"I haven't been anywhere, I have just been thrown out of that time" the rurouni kept looking at Kaoru "you were holding her...crying"

The younger Kenshin's face twisted in pain "I have failed, she died because of me"

"No it was Enishi"

The younger Kenshin paused, then realised that the rurouni hadn't witnessed what had happened "it wasn't Enishi who had killed Kaoru"

Now the rurouni looked at him "who..."

"Tomoe"

The rurouni's eyes grew wide, then he close them as if the pain was too much to bear.

"She wanted to kill me, I was the one who should be dead but..." he paused "Kaoru pushed me out of the way"

The rurouni opened his eyes, grieve and pain were visible in his violet orbs "if only I was there" he whispered as he watched Kaoru carry her son, twirling him around "what year is this?"

"Meji Era 1875"

"So eleven years has passed since that day" the day when Kaoru died. But to him it was only few minutes ago that he watched her lifeless body in the younger man's arms.

"I told myself that I shouldn't go and find Kaoru, the other Kaoru" the younger Kenshin said "but I couldn't. Immediately after the war I travelled to Tokyo. I kept watching over her, telling myself that I'm only protecting her, but I was weak I couldn't resist, she was so close"

The rurouni nodded "you said the Meji Era, so it means Katsura-san had won, right?"

"Yes, we had defeated the shogunates"

The rurouni was glad to hear that their middling with the past hadn't changed the outcomes, except...

"Only the three of you live here?" the rurouni asked.

"Yes, who else is supposed to be here?"

"Sano, Yahiko, Megumi, don't they visit?" the rurouni stared at his younger self, who wasn't younger than he anymore. They were about the same age, yet the other man was different, he wore a dark hakama and gi, his hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, there was no scar on his cheek, but most important of all...

His eyes were still amber

The younger Kenshin frowned "I don't know any of them, Dr. Genzai visits from time to time"

The rurouni felt something grip his heart. Their world was no more. Had it disappeared for good? Or had he been simply thrown in the wrong time? If so, what happened to his friends? Were they still waiting for them?

The rurouni sighed, too many questions. He wondered if he ever going to get the answers.

"Kaoru's body," the rurouni asked "where have you buried it?"

"In Kyoto" the younger Kenshin answered, his featured shadowed "I have never wanted to let her go, I stayed in that dojo, holding her cold body tightly, I was barely aware of the other body…Enishi's body"

"So you succeeded, you killed him"

The younger Kenshin shook his head "Kaoru killed him, she protected me twice"

"I see" the rurouni simply said, the pain in his heart was so great that he was starting to feel numb "I need to look at something, do you mind if I looked in Kaoru's room for a moment?"

"No, not at all"

* * *

The rurouni stood in the middle in Kaoru's room. It was obvious that nobody had used it in a long time. It made sense because Kaoru wouldn't be sleeping alone anymore so she had moved to a bigger room, possibly her parents' room. He remained standing for a while, looking around. All the memories of his time here flooded his mind. How long had he spent in this dojo? A year? No more than a year. It was his home, he possessed many memories here, good and bad ones.

_We were happy_

He moved towards a set of drawers opening them and he found what he sought in the second drawer.

Kaoru's diary

He flipped it open, going over the pages.

It was empty

_Of course it would be empty, what had I expected? _Kaoru had only started to write in her diary after she had been taken by Enishi.

The moment he thought that, something fell off the book and drifted to the floor. Kenshin knelt on one knee and retrieve the flat paper. He looked down at it.

Tears started to pool in his eyes, but despite that he smiled. He smiled sadly as his tears fell on the object in his hand.

_I knew it...those times were real_

He cradled it to his chest and cried like he had never before.

He cried for Kaoru

* * *

"You're still weak" the younger Kenshin said "you should stay"

The rurouni shook his head "I should go" they were standing near the open gate "I don't want to cause any confusion here"

The younger Kenshin didn't press him further because he seemed determined to go away from this dojo "I keep asking myself," he said instead "had I allowed Kaoru to go with you from the very beginning, would she still be alive?" although his voice was calm, the rurouni could see clearly the pain in his eyes "but I can never know the answer to that because I can't turn back time"

The rurouni was silent, he could still see that despite the long years, despite finding the other Kaoru, the younger Kenshin had never forgotten Kaoru...his Kaoru.

"Have you ever wondered why Kaoru has been thrown back to my time?" the younger Kenshin asked.

The rurouni appeared to be thinking "yes I had, but I have always thought it was to save Akira so Tomoe can be happy...I was wrong"

"I was thinking about it and I believe that Kaoru had travelled back in time to save herself"

The rurouni appeared puzzled "herself? But Kaoru is..." he couldn't bring himself to say it, his mind refused to believe that she was gone...forever.

"Yes, by going back she had died instead of Tomoe, and now Tomoe must be living peacefully with Enishi so it means he won't be coming after Kaoru to get to me" he paused "she had spared herself the torture and pain by altering the past, by saving Tomoe and young Enishi"

The rurouni thought about that. It was a good explanation, now Kaoru won't be subjected to all the agony and pain Enishi had put her through. As he was thinking that, Kaoru appeared from inside the house and she stood on the porch, looking at them.

The rurouni stared at her, committing her look to memory, it was the last time he would see her.

The younger Kenshin turned to look at her, they were silent for a moment before he spoke again "she _is_ Kaoru"

"Yet," the rurouni said "she's different"

"No one is ever going to be like her" the younger Kenshin said "she was special. Her experience, her pain and suffering had made her into a different woman. But it's over now"

"Yes...finally, she's at peace" the rurouni gave Kaoru one last look before turning toward the gate "I must be on my way"

"What are going to do?"

"I will go to Kyoto, to visit Kaoru" the rurouni said as he moved towards the gate.

"And then?"

The rurouni turned his head and smiled at his younger self "I'm a rurouni, so I will continue my wandering. Maybe we will meet again, but farewell for now" and he stepped out of the dojo.

The younger Kenshin kept looking after him for a while before he turned towards Kaoru. She had descended down the porch and was now making her way to him.

She stopped when she neared him "who was-" she was cut off when Kenshin suddenly hugged her, pressing her to his chest.

"I love you..." he buried his face into her hair "I love you, I love you...

...Kaoru"

* * *

The rurouni strolled along the road they used to take whenever they had gone to town. He glanced to his right at the river.

_Soon spring will come and the cherry trees will blossom_

They used to go every time to watch the trees, he, Sano, Yahiko, Megumi and...

Kaoru

Could it be that there world is no more?

He stopped by a certain tree, the tree under which he had once said goodbye to Kaoru. Gentle wind blew, ruffling his hair.

Other would think that his time with his friends was a dream, a part of his imagination, nothing real. That Kaoru had not brought them together, had not opened her house for them. Maybe he was crazy, maybe he hadn't been through all that adventure with them.

Kenshin smiled as he looked up at the huge tree.

_No it was real, all their laughters and tears, their happiness and sorrow...all was real_

He buried his hand in the pocket of his sleeve and retrieved the object he had taken from Kaoru's diary. He traced it with his finger.

It was a picture of the four of them. Kenshin smiled as his finger touched Kaoru's face in the picture. She was smiling brightly, her smile seemed to illuminate the entire picture.

_Kaoru , even if our world is no more, our time together was real, you were real, and this is a proof, a proof of a happy time, a proof of a strong friendship, a proof of our lives..._

Yes this was the proof of...

Her existence

* * *

I can't believe it, it's over! I don't know what makes me sadder, Kaoru's death or the fact that this story is over, I will miss writing it, it's my first baby. (sobs)

I'm really sorry for taking forever, but I think I was delaying writing this chapter on purpose, it's just so depressing, I have almost changed my mind and deleted it all to write the other ending. I know many of you will hate me for this, but think about it, Kaoru is finally resting in peace...sh!t even thinking like this makes me cry :-( I couldn't help the picture part at the end, I know many of you rolled their eyes, but oh well...

Yah and I had altered the year to make it like 11 years had passed, but it isn't too important, I had messed with history so much in this fic. And I will leave it to you to think what has happened to the others i.e. Sano, Yahiko and Megumi, it's kinda like an open ending.

I can't help but to think how Enishi will be, I mean as a normal man, I can't imagine him thus. It hard to imagine him anything but a psycho!

I do apologize about my fighting scenes, I know they suck, but I can never get around writing a decent fight and finally, I know that my story was anything but perfect, with all the grammar mistakes and typos, I admit that I'm not a good writer, but that wouldn't stop me from writing another fic! I have two ideas, one story is as bleak and sad as Her Existence and the other is also angsty but not so bad, I think I will post the 1st chapters of both fics and see which one gets most reviews.

Last but not least, thank you all my great reviewers, you have kept me going for 2 years, and sorry if I have disappointed anyone.

See ya

**EDIT: now you remember I have said that there are three endings:**

1- The ending I've used.

2- This is the original ending which is similar to no.1 i.e. Enishi dies, Kaoru dies shortly after, the rurouni being transported to the future in Kaoru's dojo...BUT! He finds that the dojo is deserted, that no one had lived there for many years. He goes around asking what has happened to Kamiya Kaoru and they tell him that she had died years ago when she was about 7 and no one had lived in the dojo since then. Of course Kenshin is shocked, it means that to other people the Kaoru he has known and loved doesn't exist hence the title, Her Existence. And in the end he finds the picture which serves as the proof of her existence.

It's an awful ending I know, I couldn't bring myself to write it.

3- This ending has sprung to mind as the story progressed. I just felt bad when thinking that Kaoru might die so I have decided to come with an alternative. This is kind of lame ending because I haven't had the time to think about it as the other two. It is a happy ending for all three. Things will be the same till Enishi's death...Kaoru does not die, but goes back to her time with the rurouni (I had planned to write a heart-shattering farewell scene between Kaoru and the younger Kenshin). The younger Kenshin participates in the war and then goes to Tokyo to look for Kaoru. He meets her in the cemetery, kneeling by her father's grave. She asks him if he had lost someone important and he answers "yes, but I believe she's in a better place now". The scene changes to the future where young Kenji is playing in the dojo, being watched by the rurouni and Kaoru. The rurouni thinks that it will take time for Kaoru to heal but he and Kenji will always be there for her. Both the rurouni and Kaoru's scar starts to fade as time passes by and better days are coming. And there you go! You can see that it's not that good, given that I haven't thought about it properly. And this ending would have allowed me to write a sequel, however, I felt that it does not go well with the nature of the whole fic.

I hope this satisfies your curiosity ^_^ and just want to note that I have placed a summary of the two new fics I plan to write on my profile, hopefully chapter 1 of both fics will be out this weekend! So you haven't seen the last of me yet XD


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